WeirdAssomnio



Recent works

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    [Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov sit on director’s chairs in a white sound studio. They are both wearing Ottawa Centaurs jerseys, and Ilya smiles warmly at Shane as a makeup artist places a small bit of powder across his cheeks while a producer hands them both a practice board.]

    Shane: So, these are just internet searches people do of us?

    Producer: Yes! The most popular ones, and you just answer or comment on them. There’s one board for you, one for Ilya, and then one of the two of you combined. 

    Shane: Sounds harmless enough. 

    Ilya: You do not spend much time on the internet if you think this sounds harmless. 

    Producer: Would you like to practice taking the tape off? 

    [They both nod, and she hands each of them a board. Shane politely and carefully rips off the top piece of tape, focusing on pulling it straight off without ripping it. During the time it takes Shane to take off one piece, Ilya rips off four, crumpling up the tape and throwing it in the air like confetti. A piece hits Shane’s head, and he looks at his husband, slightly startled, while Ilya beams back happily.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,930
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    443
    Kudos:
    13,200
    Bookmarks:
    1,303
    Hits:
    60,731

    10 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Autocomplete by UglyGreenJacket

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    [Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sit on stools in the Centaurs’ locker room. They are wearing each other’s jerseys, and Ilya has a large pink heart painted on his left cheek. Shane has a smattering of silver sparkly heart freckles across his nose.]

    Harris: (off camera) Okay, boys. As the Centaurs’ resident power couple, we’re going to ask you twenty couples questions in honor of our Valentine’s Day game coming up!

    Ilya: Oh, good. Shane loves questions. He has a million for every possible situation. Are you sure you don’t want him to lead the interview? 

    Shane: Fuck you, Rozanov.

    Harris: Glad we got that out of the way early.

     

     

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,595
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    597
    Kudos:
    27,017
    Bookmarks:
    3,984
    Hits:
    175,265

    09 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    20 questions
    UglyGreenJacket

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Harris: Hi, Shane!
    Harris: This is Harris Drover.
    Harris: I got your number from Ilya.
    Harris: Sorry to bother you, but I had a question.
    Harris: I know you’re coming in to sign contracts tomorrow, and I had an idea for a social media thing to announce your signing, if you’d be up for it?

    Shane: Oh, yeah, okay.
    Shane: I’ll be there, so we can do whatever.
    Shane: Always happy to help the team with a little internet humiliation that’ll be around for decades.

    Harris: Perfect!
    Harris: I promise, I think you’ll really like this, though.
    Harris: No humiliation involved.
    Harris: The only caveat is, you can’t tell Ilya.

    Shane: Okay?
    Shane: Why?

    Harris: Well.
    Harris: Here’s what I’m thinking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,450
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,056
    Kudos:
    30,762
    Bookmarks:
    3,489
    Hits:
    133,173

    09 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    hey, roz
    UglyGreenJacket

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    [Ilya Rozanov yawns and stretches shirtless in his kitchen. Pajama pants hang low on his waist, and his hair is rumpled from sleep. He smiles and waves at the camera, and when he comes closer, he leans down so his face is level with the camera, his eyes bright even though he’s obviously tired.]

    Ilya: Good morning! It is ass o’clock, and I hate that I am awake, but today you are going to spend the day with me and my boyfriend. And I know what you are thinking, ‘what man could possibly be worthy of you, Ilya?’ and I get it. I ask myself this every day, but my boyfriend is very wonderful, even if he is much, much less famous than me and not nearly as good at hockey, and I think it’s about time you all get to know him. So, yay boyfriend reveal! And now I’m going to make him his disgusting breakfast smoothie, and then bring you along for our day together because my friend Harris Drover says I need more content on the internet, and what better way to do that than to tell you I’m bi, and that I have a boyfriend, and show you how disgustingly in love we are?

    [Ilya straightens so that his bare torso is the only thing in the frame, his abs flexing as he reaches over to turn on the blender.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,293
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    442
    Kudos:
    9,805
    Bookmarks:
    981
    Hits:
    44,095

    09 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya has had the worst three weeks of his life.

    He's convinced there's nothing that will make him feel better.

    Shane arrives to prove him wrong.

    Or...

    Shane says he loves Ilya.

    In Russian.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,509
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    1,446
    Bookmarks:
    186
    Hits:
    11,365

    09 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    It's always you
    Jelliesbelly