TishFish1145



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “For fucks sake Ilya, will you just let it go?”

    “No, I will not.” Ilya rounded on him, and in a single second Shane was being spun around to face him, hands firm and a little tight as they clasped his skin, fingernails pressing into his forearms. “You passed out Shane.”

    Shane shook his head, eyes burning as he found an interesting spot on the ceiling.

    “No, listen to me,” Ilya shook him. “You are stressing about something, you are barely eating, you are exercising too much. You FUCKING FAINTED in the gym today. Do you not get that? You were down, out completely for several seconds, if Luca hadn’t found you....”

    They stared at each other for a few moments, Ilya’s chest heaving, eyes shining bright with something heavy as Shane just glared back at him.

    or

     

    Shane joined the Centaurs a few months back, and god he loves this team. But the eyes of the Hockey world are sitting there, waiting, fingers at the ready to accuse him of losing his edge, now that he can be distracted by Ilya. The weight of it all has him scrambling to make everything right again, to give him back the control that’s steadily slipping away.

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    16 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    16 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “I need to sleep,” Ilya murmurs next to him on the bed, his voice distant.

    “Yeah, me too,” Shane rushes to agree. His fingers drum against his glass of vodka and he chugs the rest in one go. “I should, uh…” He moves to stand up off the bed, the soiled towel dropping from his stomach, and his knees buckle.

    Shane stumbles but remains upright, his vision blurry. But the glass in his hands slips from his trembling fingers, and, to his absolute horror, shatters all across the floor of Ilya’s penthouse suite.

    ----

    After the hookup where Shane and Ilya didn’t kiss, Shane nearly passes out in his rival’s hotel room.

    Language:
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    15 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander liked rules. Rules meant structure, control in a world where there was usually so little. He lived by the little if-then statements he built in his head to make the world make sense. They served him well, taught him how to navigate this mysterious rulebook of life that everyone but him somehow understood.

    There was comfort in routine. His left skate always went on before his right. He still wore the same nightshirt he’d had since he was nineteen, this raggedy blue thing that now hung off him like a crop-top, but it was soft and light and he couldn’t bear to throw it out. Two eggs and a vegetable smoothie for breakfast. Chicken and broccoli for lunch, salmon and green beans for dinner. Only a beer after a special event, at most five ginger ales a month.

    _________

    An exploration of Shane's eating disorder.

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    15 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 83

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    Shane has lived by routine for most of his adult life. It has always kept him steady.

    Moving in with Ilya changes things in small, gentle ways. Shared mornings. Shared meals. Love offered through touch and food. Nothing bad happens.

    Until Shane starts tightening again, and Ilya mistakes the distance for rejection instead of fear.

    Language:
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    15 Jul 2026