Semperlitluv



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Recent series

  1. Words:
    1,220
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    2
  2. Words:
    973
    Works:
    2
  3. Words:
    1,900
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    6
  4. Words:
    1,424
    Works:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    3

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s dark, and Ilya’s not quite sure where he is.

    His entire body is numb. His shoes are soaking wet from trudging lazily through the snow. His nose is running, and his lips are chapped.

    Selfishly, he wishes Shane would fuss over him now. Pull him close, whisper “I forgive you” even though he shouldn’t, because Ilya would never change, because something inside him- in his family line, in his soul- was broken.

    Ilya wondered how long ago it had clicked- when Shane had realized that Ilya wormed his way into this country and tricked the Hollanders into caring for him, then returned the favor by botching their language and leaving a trail of mess in his wake. He still can't help but wonder if that will be part of his punishment- being doomed to miss him in death, too.

     

    or: Ilya’s mostly been able to cope with the fact that he’ll never be able to articulate himself fully in this country- but he’s also never been good at talking about feelings in the first place.

    "I'm tired" is the best he's got. It definitely doesn't capture what's going on in his head, and Shane can't read minds.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,440
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    368
    Kudos:
    4,850
    Bookmarks:
    1,317
    Hits:
    43,785

    14 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 61

    Words:
    48,168
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    61

    19 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    shane hollander is drafted to the boston raiders in 2010, one year after ilya rozanov. it changes a lot.

    Words:
    225,383
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1,276

    15 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    "Why are you not scared?"

    "I am scared," Ilya admits. "I just am tired. Of hiding me. Of hiding you. Of hiding how much I love you. I want to go to the rink— how do you say it? Authenti."

    "Authentically," Shane supplies, automatically.

    "Yes. Authentically. I want to go to the rink authentically, as me," Ilya confirms.

    Ilya looks at Shane, pauses until Shane meets his eyes. "I want to say: I, Ilya Rozanov, love a man, and that man's name is Shane Hollander."

     

    -

    Or, sometimes it takes a little more time, and some courage, to be with the one you love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,933
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    4,519
    Kudos:
    21,554
    Bookmarks:
    9,708
    Hits:
    569,894

    11 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,947
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
    4,194
    Kudos:
    12,864
    Bookmarks:
    5,188
    Hits:
    231,515

    11 May 2026