RusticGeologist



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  1. Rec 76

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    Summary

    "Pen and Alfie are having their third date on Friday night!" Hyacinth explained with the kind of giddy smile only a teenage girl could credibly muster, while simultaneously leaning over the table and attempting to steal Eloise’s wine glass. Penelope, meanwhile, looked directly up at the ceiling, mortified that once again the entire table was weighing in on her love life. Could she not have any peace?

    "Hmmm." Colin pretended to consider the point, but he was mostly trying to stop his lip from curling. He did not like Alfie Debling. What kind of stupid name was that anyway? What grown man went by “Alfie”? He sounded like someone’s pet dachshund. “Ooo Alfie come here for belly rubs”, “Don’t shit on the rug, Alfie”.
    *****
    Colin Bridgerton finds himself in the unenviable position of having offered to help Penelope Featherington cook a seduction dinner for her plant-loving paramour. It just happens to be the same dinner that was prepared for Colin before he lost his virginity, and it is bringing back regrets and all kinds of feelings for his best friend that he thought he had buried away for good.
    Aka the NYT Pizza Interview we all wanted, featuring the Great Auk, Alfie x Alfie and the Contessa.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,719
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    342
    Kudos:
    435
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    76
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    11 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Colin teaches Pen the ways of Sex Pizza

  2. Rec *

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    Summary

    After a throwaway joke during a night of drinking Colin and Penelope enter a FWB Situationship that quickly spirals from their grasp, leading to confounding feelings that someone cannot, will not give up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,857
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    331
    Kudos:
    1,086
    Bookmarks:
    296
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    08 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Pen jokingly asks if Colin is DTF in a text.
    Colin, surprisingly, is DTF!

    Chaos Colin ensues!

  3. Rec *

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    Summary

    Strangers want Colin for his body. Penelope has always wanted him.

    A drunken compliment, one very specific word, and suddenly he can’t pretend he hasn’t been missing something all along.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,505
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    85
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    943
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    142
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    06 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Drunk Pen calls Colin a pretty Princess and everything ensues

  4. Rec *

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    Summary

    Penelope has accidentally joined a cult.

    A hapless, bumbling family cult that has her tied up as a “virgin” sacrifice to a demon.

    Never mind that she’s neither a virgin nor remotely devout: they insist she’s the chosen one.

    But the real surprise isn’t the ritual; it’s Colin, a shy, awkward demon who might be the least terrifying thing about this whole fiasco.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,443
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    686
    Kudos:
    1,052
    Bookmarks:
    219
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    19,946

    03 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    The Bridgertons kidnap Pen to be a vessel for Colin’s demon 😈 spawn

  5. Rec *

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    Summary

    “Penelope Anne Featherington,” he says, turning to her with hands on his hips, expression gleeful. “Did you break the bed?”
    She does her best impression of a dog who’s ripped all the down from a pillow. He can’t prove anything.
    “I did,” she says.
    Damn. There’s always been a disconnect between her mouth and her brain.

    or

    Penelope's bed breaks. Of course it's Colin who finds her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,708
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    314
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    2,828
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    795
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    02 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Pen breaks the bed; Colin breaks her