Random_v_z



Recent works

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 11

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya is fighting his way through a depressive episode, but he's trying to do it alone. His friends won't let him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,882
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1,131

    17 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 8

    Tags
    Summary

    (16. Morning, 742 words) TW: depression 
    --

    Mornings are sometimes particularly hard for Ilya. He’s never explained why to Shane, but the longer they’re together, the more Shane sees without asking. 

    He sees the way Ilya sometimes lies there, unmoving, staring at the ceiling long before the alarm goes off. He sees the distance in his gaze. The longing. The slight trembling in his hands. He sees the way Ilya will turn away from him so he doesn’t notice the sheen to his eyes, that he’s starting to cry. That his chest is heavy and that he’s carrying a weight that’s not his to bear. That Ilya doesn’t know how to fix it; that he thinks something is wrong with him. 

    Shane sees every crack in his armor and loves him all the same. 

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    745
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    217

    16 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Why the fuck do you care what happens to Rozanov?”

    Shane doesn’t answer.

    He’s already running for the Raiders’ locker room.

    ⎯⎯⎯

    Or, Ilya has a panic attack in the Raiders' locker room after getting a phone call from his brother telling him about his father’s death.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,057
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    2,575
    Kudos:
    19,129
    Bookmarks:
    5,818
    Hits:
    420,362

    27 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Boston and Montreal know that they are friends marlow and sveta and parents know true Hayden suspects.

    Ilya panic attack because dead father
    Ch17 with Shane in the hospital and parents +small breakdown, team Ilya with them

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “You okay?” Shane asks quietly. His hand brushes against Ilya’s forehead. Ah.

    Shane thinks he is sick.

    He has never been around for this part before — it’s never hit him in the cottage during the summers, and Ilya’s been better since they moved in together. He smiles. It gets harder by the day to hide from Shane, who is so open with his own struggles and emotions, who lets Ilya comfort him and distract him when things get too much.

    “I’m fine, sweetheart.”

    Ilya goes through his first depressive episode since marrying Shane.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,561
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    2,202
    Bookmarks:
    360
    Hits:
    19,328

    09 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Let me do everything.” Shane slowly helped Ilya out of his clothes.

    Shane kneeled beside the tub, grabbed a wet cloth, and carefully washed Ilya’s arms. There was no rush; only the soft sound of the water surrounded them.

    “Shane.” Ilya pulled away slightly. “You shouldn’t be doing this.”

    “I want to.” Shane desperately wanted to make Ilya feel better. He wanted to erase the shame he knew Ilya felt for needing help. To show him that it was okay not to be okay. That he was still deserving of love no matter what.

     

    Or, Shane is there for Ilya during a depressive episode

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,511
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    1,355
    Bookmarks:
    190
    Hits:
    11,958

    08 Jun 2026