PhoenixRaven



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    After Shane comes out, the Metros become convinced he might be attracted to them.

    Shane corrects this assumption with devastating precision, accidentally describes Ilya Rozanov in the process, and somehow turns the entire locker room into a deranged pageant of heterosexual insecurity.

    Edit: Bonus scene added 19/06/2026

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
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    Chapters:
    2/2
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    20 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    the metros are stupid enough to maybe be allies? kind of?

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Rose: I promise, your secret is 100% safe with me. You can trust me on this, Shane. And, like I mentioned earlier, if you ever need a friend to talk to about your guy problems, I’m more than willing to lend an ear.

    Shane: Yeah, I— I know. Thanks, Rose. [pause] And I don’t have guy problems!

    Rose: [unconvincingly] Uh-huh. Sure you don’t.

    Shane: Well, it’s just… [hesitates] It’s a guy problem. Singular. Um— there’s only one guy.

    Or: Shane Hollander’s disastrous pining, as documented by Rose Landry over FaceTime.

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    20 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Cliff watches him squeeze the phone between his cheek and shoulder, lifting the jersey over his head as he continues to talk, a bit distracted now by the multitasking.

    “And was good practice, you know, for when I am your husband."

    Immediately, the locker room goes dead silent. And so does Rozanov, in fact.

    In which Ilya accidentally calls himself Shane's future husband in the middle of the Bears locker room. Worse still, they're not even dating yet.

    Language:
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    20 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    THE SWEETEST ilya deciding (?) he wants to be with shane forever ft the bears group therapy, a shitty accountant, and a visa application

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
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    1,605

    20 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    OH MY LORD SO GOOD.

    centaurs/wags group chats for shane and ilya

  5. Public Bookmark 22

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    "Honk! Stop! Bad bird!" Will lunged, trying to grab the goose around the middle. Honk hissed and snapped his beak, narrowly missing Will’s fingers.

     

    Alternatively; Will adopts a goose that forces them to sleep in one bed, and maybe, share a goodnight kiss.

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    18 Jun 2026