1 - 20 of 410 Bookmarks by Paradox__Machine
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It’s September 18, 2008. Castiel is being deployed to rescue Dean Winchester from Hell.
He lands in Dean Winchester’s motel room in 2003. Things go from there.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,546
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 902
- Kudos:
- 11,378
- Bookmarks:
- 3,678
- Hits:
- 153,720
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
29 Jun 2026
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Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,355
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 306
- Kudos:
- 11,135
- Bookmarks:
- 3,199
- Hits:
- 140,637
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
26 Jun 2026
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"It seems Morgause made a slight miscalculation," Cenred murmured, his gaze raking Merlin up and down, and leaving the sensation of dirty claw marks across his skin. "Camelot's prince does fancy a servant, but it isn't Guinevere."
Or, Cenred discovers an unexpected weakness of Arthur's.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,565
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 197
- Kudos:
- 6,169
- Bookmarks:
- 858
- Hits:
- 62,847
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
09 Jun 2026
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Never Like This by Faith Wood (faithwood)
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
02 Aug 2021
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The Winter Soldier thrashed, drowning. It was taking forever. His mask seemed to be stuck. He pulled on it, struggling to draw breath, sinking and resurfacing, clawing at his face, the panic in his eyes terrible.
Steve's would-be killer. The very worst HYDRA had ever conjured. A symbol of death and everything he stood against. And Steve just couldn't bear it. He was ready to go, but this guy clearly wasn't.
----------------------------------------
The premise: the Winter Soldier's mask doesn't come off quite as easily. Meaning, Steve never saw Bucky's face, and he didn't hold back during the fight on the Helicarrier. This is where the story picks up and is no longer canon-compliant. Though, I've stolen some ideas from the sequels and deliberately contradicted some future plot points/established canon.COMPLETED
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,917
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 392
- Kudos:
- 3,093
- Bookmarks:
- 1,003
- Hits:
- 54,496
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
26 May 2026
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Ivy on the Hill by chaya
Fandoms: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
25 Jan 2020
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"A quiet companion, a noble friend! / Has no compunctions 'bout biting your end!" Jaskier stops, frowns, and repositions his fingers on the lute's neck as if trying to work something out.
"Are you singing to Roach?" Geralt asks, leaning over the saddle horn. "I'm not hallucinating?"
Jaskier looks up and smiles brightly, cheeks pink from the sun. Something in Geralt... doesn't like this. "Well, you do take excellent care of her, but a little praise can go a long way, you know."
Series
- Part 1 of Flora
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,581
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 713
- Kudos:
- 6,464
- Bookmarks:
- 1,190
- Hits:
- 64,721
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
12 May 2026
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This is a tale of the awkward, unnerving, and sticky situations that the implementation of Memo's Man Milk gets Guillermo into, the stickiest of all being that Nandor comes to him with a big, business-ending problem: He just cannot manage to cum in the jar. Guillermo is forced to help, and he struggles fruitlessly with Nandor's lack of aim until Laszlo lets him in on a little secret that changes everything.
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
28 Apr 2026
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Laszlo and Nandor try Viagra after Colin goes on a rant about Big Pharma. Nandor finds himself in big trouble. Good trouble?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,288
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 44
- Kudos:
- 923
- Bookmarks:
- 101
- Hits:
- 10,318
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
13 Apr 2026
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“You have done a great service for us over the years, and for that we wish to reward you with the ultimate gift… vampirehood.”
Guillermo literally, physically cannot stop himself from making an excited little squeak at that. He’s smiling so much that it aches in his cheeks. Nandor gives him a disturbed, worried look, but goes on.
--
Guillermo is finally bestowed the great honor and reward of being turned into a vampire. It... does not go according to plan.
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
13 Apr 2026
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Guillermo goes to a Renaissance Faire with the Mosquito Collectors of the Tri-State Area and unfortunately, the group tags along. Nandor doesn't approve of Guillermo's friends or how they hang all over him.
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
10 Apr 2026
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All the Ancient Wonders of the World by telm_393
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
14 May 2022
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(Are in ruins now.)
When Nandor was nineteen years old, something unpleasant happened to him, but he got over it very quickly. Except, hundreds and hundreds of years later, he finds he’s not as over it as he thought.
Also, Guillermo breaks the bathroom door.
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
07 Apr 2026
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Summary
The vampires casually groom each other. Guillermo slowly becomes a part of that, but struggles with how it makes him feel.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,831
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 69
- Kudos:
- 959
- Bookmarks:
- 120
- Hits:
- 7,073
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
06 Apr 2026
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i've been here so long (i think that it's time to move) by UnfortunatelyObsessed for nerdykai128
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
08 Jun 2022
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Nandor is leaning against the curtained doorway, bumping his head back against the jamb over and over again as he listens to Guillermo just bitch.
“Memo, why have you not gotten a wife yet?” Guillermo imitates. “Memo, you should try the same diet Alexia is on. Memo, I saw Jeremiah in the supermercado yesterday, you two used to be such good friends—”
“Yeesh, alright, I get it,” Nandor finally snaps out, holding his hands over his ears. “You can stop with the voices now. It sounds insufferable.”
“It is insufferable!” Guillermo shoves another sweater into his overnight bag. “But Victor had to go and get engaged and plan the wedding for the same fucking weekend so here I am! Guilt-tripped into helping for a cousin I don’t even really know!”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,124
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 242
- Kudos:
- 1,195
- Bookmarks:
- 356
- Hits:
- 11,775
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
03 Apr 2026
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hey little sister (what have you done?) by UnfortunatelyObsessed
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
21 Dec 2021
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Guillermo de la Cruz cares about a lot of things. He cares about his mother, he cares about public transportation. He cares about the fight for unions, the way Nadja taught him how to braid, the record Laszlo gave him, the office supplies Colin brings him, the soft curl that escapes Nandor’s updo when he’s had a harrowing day. He cares about the stupid glitter portrait, he cares about his mini fridge, his crucifix, his coffee mug, he just. Cares. Guillermo de la Cruz cares. It’s what has made him a good familiar, a great bodyguard, an unflinching friend.
So that’s what he does. He cares. He cares when Nandor lets blood flow into Gail’s mouth. He cares when he hits his knees and pulls out that stupid fucking ring. He cares when Gail says yes.
He cares. He cares. He cares.
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
01 Apr 2026
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Writing Porn (and other ways to seduce your vampire roommates) by UnfortunatelyObsessed for foxymandy3100 (Sukurarose92), nerdykai128
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
27 Mar 2022
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Summary
“There,” he says. “Taken care of. Now back to my problems—“
“NANDOR!” Guillermo is already yelling, snatching the vacuum away and pressing his face to the dusty old bag. “Can you hear me?!” He thinks he hears a defeated, squished help, and he scowls at Laszlo. “How the hell am I meant to get him out of here in one piece?!”
“Not my problem,” Laszlo deadpans. “What is my problem is that I’ve run out of porn to read.”
“Holy fucking—“ Guillermo is off, muttering curses as he unearths Laszlo’s laptop from under a pile of crap. “Use your computer. You know, the one you made me steal from Best Buy?! Just Google it!”
“There’s porn on the internet?”
“THAT IS ALL THAT IS ON THE INTERNET!”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,135
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 299
- Kudos:
- 1,203
- Bookmarks:
- 303
- Hits:
- 11,840
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
01 Apr 2026
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it's been the ruin of many a poor boy by ghostoftonantzin
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
18 Jan 2021
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Summary
“My darkest darling, Giz- Guillermo’s been dosed with some of Lilith’s finest party brew.” Hearing Laszlo pronounce his name correctly should not have been doing the things to Guillermo’s dick that it was doing.
“And, my dear, I believe Guillermo just took me up on my offer to lend a helping hand.” Laszlo said with a small flourish.
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
27 Mar 2026
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Better Get a Chaperone by ghostoftonantzin for Jackie_Gaytona
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
20 Jun 2021
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Summary
Laszlo is either going to get his entrails ripped out, the sad virginal smell around Guillermo to go away, or both. Whichever way it goes, it certainly won't be uninteresting.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,756
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 40
- Kudos:
- 1,779
- Bookmarks:
- 221
- Hits:
- 11,304
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
27 Mar 2026
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You're Dead (and Outta This World) by TheOceanIsMyInkwell
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
21 Jan 2021
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“Holy shit!” shouts the EMT at his side. His partner on the other side of the gurney--the other side of the body bag--follows up with a well-deserved holy fuck and stumbles backward over her boots to sag against the back of the open ambulance.
“I’m fine, I’m fine, oh God, I’m sorry,” Guillermo babbles. His knees are trembling. He wriggles out of the body bag and hops to his feet, feeling like his legs are a cross between jello and underbaked macaroons, and he repeats his litany of apologies as he bounces from one foot to another to restore circulation.
Pain shoots through his joints from the roots of his toes. He ignores it, instead pivoting his head from side to side wildly seeking the detritus of his phone and groceries.
“Sir! Sir! You were--sir, please get back here! You were dead!”
“Not today, sorry!”
--
Or: 3 times Guillermo came back from the dead, and 1 time Nandor was there to see it.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,573
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 140
- Kudos:
- 3,433
- Bookmarks:
- 714
- Hits:
- 24,435
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
25 Mar 2026
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Summary
Five times Guillermo is injured in front of Nandor.
Or, five times that Nandor is reminded of the fragility of humans.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,260
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 256
- Kudos:
- 3,265
- Bookmarks:
- 626
- Hits:
- 44,618
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
24 Mar 2026
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Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow Too by cookinguptales for htbthomas, fenellaevangela
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
06 Dec 2022
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Summary
After Guillermo comes home with another vampire's bite on his neck, a poorly planned wish gets Nandor's dumb ass stuck in a time loop.
And Nandor's never handled eternity well.
Series
- Part 1 of Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow Too
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,117
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 516
- Kudos:
- 1,249
- Bookmarks:
- 305
- Hits:
- 14,110
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
20 Mar 2026
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Summary
Sequel to "Who We Kiss in the Shadows"
Guillermo has never been in a relationship. Nandor's last relationship was 20-Guillermo-Lifetimes ago. Now they have to figure out where to go from the unexpected events on Guillermo's birthday.
Series
- Part 2 of In The Shadows
Bookmarked by Paradox__Machine
17 Mar 2026