Oak1985



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya is not going to do anything. He knows this. He's also standing very still.

    He thinks about his mother's arm, hanging over the side of the bed. He was twelve. He'd thought she was sleeping.

    He closes the cabinet.

    The face in the mirror is someone he recognizes in the way you recognize a city you lived in as a child: the basic geography is familiar, but you can't find anything you're looking for.

    -

    Or: A closer look at Ilya’s first year in Ottawa, set against his first in Boston—featuring a long-lost answering machine he claimed he’d never listen to, the family inevitably left behind when you move, and the mostly self-imposed pressure of loving a man as large and looming as the great Shane Hollander.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,807
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    90
    Kudos:
    543
    Bookmarks:
    184
    Hits:
    5,347

    07 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane was fourteen the first time a number felt like safety.

    The nutritionist worked out of an office in Kanata, framed certificates, a calm voice, laminated charts with columns. She explained it simply: fuel in, output required, timing of each. She said it was a starting point.

    Shane took notes in the margins the way he took notes on everything—completely, past what was required. Yuna had found the nutritionist herself, sat beside him, and took notes too.

    Like mother, like son.

    -

    Or: Shane’s system works until it doesn’t; Ilya notices first.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,240
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    233
    Kudos:
    1,193
    Bookmarks:
    430
    Hits:
    12,327

    06 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is in the front pew. His face is—Ilya does not have words for what Shane's face is doing. He has seen Shane angry and afraid and exhausted and soft and undone. He has never seen this: living at the very bottom of a person, surfacing only when every single thing above it has given way.

    This is what it looks like when Shane has nothing left to manage.

    Ilya reaches for him.

    His hand passes through air.

    -

    Or: Ilya Rozanov turns the same age his mother was when she died. Featuring strange dreams, tarot readings, and a woman with her back to him who keeps appearing where she shouldn’t.

    A man who spent twenty years preparing to die, and one husband who refuses to let him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,210
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    123
    Kudos:
    474
    Bookmarks:
    248
    Hits:
    10,120

    31 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane goes back to his hotel after leaving Ilya's house, and he immediately spits up a flower petal.

    Within a week, he has his mother schedule the surgery.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,424
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    238
    Kudos:
    2,604
    Bookmarks:
    380
    Hits:
    11,258

    25 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s like they’re in a fucked up game of relationship chicken now, increasingly doing things together that Shane can’t describe as anything other than domestic and romantic and boyfriend-like. They text constantly, detailing their days and sharing everything from complaints about teammates to jokes about other players in the league to the kind of quiet worries about family that don’t need to be responded to, just heard by another person.

    Or maybe it’s like Schroedinger’s cat. As long as Shane doesn’t ask, doesn’t speak out loud, he can have this. It can exist, and it cannot exist at the same time as long as Shane doesn’t press too hard. Doesn’t want too much.

    It feels increasingly like agony now that he’s realized that he loves Ilya.

    ...

    Tunameltdown AU where Ilya makes him tuna melts and says his name and Shane doesn’t freak out and run away. Well, he does freak out, but he also stays. Or the one where Shane doesn’t realize that Ilya’s his boyfriend for a solid three months.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,999
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    225
    Kudos:
    3,752
    Bookmarks:
    1,080
    Hits:
    25,394

    21 May 2026