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Levi doesn’t often feel stupid. But there are times, a few rare specific times, where he feels like an absolute idiot. An unthinking moron. A dumbass of the silliest order. This is one of them.
Rated for swearing, tiny (literally!) injury.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,632
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 200
- Bookmarks:
- 29
- Hits:
- 1,306
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
19 Jan 2026
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How to Cockblock Your 'Special Friend' From Serial Murder Without Even Trying by Watermelonsmellinfellon for Misery9980
Fandoms: Hannibal (TV)
15 Aug 2024
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OR the 3 times Will Graham's actions interrupted Hannibal before he could go off to kill someone, and the 1 time Hannibal's deep need for Will Graham's attention prevents him from going off to kill someone.
Told entirely from Hannibal's POV despite the unique title.
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
13 Aug 2025
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Tim's expression finally eased, and he gave Clark a sympathetic slap on the back. "Don't worry, Supes. You've just gotta suck tongue with B for like, twenty minutes and then everything will be back to normal."
Bruce gets hit in battle, forgets everything about being Batman, and adopts the entire personality and characteristics of his idiotic playboy persona. To get his memories back, someone has to get rather intimate with him.
And really, Clark is the only one for the task.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,071
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 121
- Kudos:
- 5,671
- Bookmarks:
- 941
- Hits:
- 36,046
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
13 Feb 2025
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“You're American?” The young man turns to him. Despite the faint ringing in his ears, Bruce hears the man's tone of slight displeasure, and suspicion, at the fact.
Wiping his cheek with the back of his hand and grimacing at the sting and blood that comes away, Bruce sighs, “And you're English. What an awful pair we make.”
It was the right amount of wit and humorous self deprecation, since the stranger grins in response, “Pleasure to meet you. I wish it was under better circumstances.”
Military, Bruce assumes, shaking the hand firmly, “Thomas Malone.” he introduces himself with a polite nod.
“Alfred Pennyworth,” the young man replies, eyes narrowing when Bruce startles and squeezes his hand a little too tight. Holy shit.
(Bruce gets sent fifty years into the past and meets a familiar stranger.)
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
26 Nov 2024
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Clark thought he had a pretty good idea of what a relationship with Bruce Wayne would be like. He thought wrong. He especially wasn’t expecting Bruce’s affinity for pet names.
He isn’t complaining about it, though.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,931
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 429
- Kudos:
- 7,834
- Bookmarks:
- 1,202
- Hits:
- 48,580
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
19 Jul 2024
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A collection of hugs between Alfred and Bruce over the years.
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
11 Jul 2024
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It wasn’t his place -- far from it -- but Bruce had asked.
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
26 Apr 2024
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Look the Devil in the Face by prettybirdy979
Fandoms: Daredevil (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
30 Oct 2015
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It's increasingly becoming a world where the unbelievable happens every day. The Avengers team includes a defrosted World War Two solider, a giant green rage monster and a man who might be a God; and they battle aliens and magic on a regular basis. It's not too far fetched to believe the Devil walks Hell's Kitchen.
Matt, on the other hand, hasn't realised exactly why his new battle buddies seem terrified of him. It's not like they've even heard the rumors about him being the Devil... right?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,412
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 28
- Comments:
- 536
- Kudos:
- 26,309
- Bookmarks:
- 5,704
- Hits:
- 211,038
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
25 Apr 2024
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Watch This by snackbaskets
Fandoms: DCU (Comics), DCU, DC Animated Universe (Timmverse), Justice League - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types
24 May 2019
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Summary
Hal and Barry are worried about Batman's new partner. Being around the Batman all the time can't be good for a kid, right?
Robin insists otherwise, and for $15.36 of betting money, is happy to demonstrate.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,458
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 1,131
- Kudos:
- 46,110
- Bookmarks:
- 8,766
- Hits:
- 240,643
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
21 Mar 2024
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he's got a heart of gold (that nobody can see) by agents_cxrter
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
25 Feb 2023
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Lucy stirs, mumbling something in her sleep, shifting so her head lolls the other way. There’s a strand of hair stuck to her cheek and he brushes it gently away, thumb smoothing over the imprint of the armchair’s material on her sleep-flushed skin.
When he straightens up, George is staring at him impassively from the doorway.
“What?” He whispers defensively.
“Nothing.” George says as he makes his way to the stairs. “Just remembering this for next time I fall asleep down here and you shove me off the sofa.”
or: five acts of service Lockwood does for Lucy and one she does for him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,593
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 100
- Kudos:
- 1,961
- Bookmarks:
- 244
- Hits:
- 13,532
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
11 Feb 2024
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Holding Onto a Hero by frozenpotions
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
24 Aug 2023
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Clark squinted sleep-tired eyes and frowned. “B? Everything okay?”
And then Bruce shivered. In a fraction of a second he was beside the bed, and in another he was settling a knee onto the mattress and wrapping his arms around Clark’s waist, cowled face pressed into Clark’s chest.
“So,” Clark said conversationally. “I’m gonna go ahead and take that as a no.”
For Bruce Wayne Week 2023. Day 4 - Cuddle Pollen
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,608
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 126
- Kudos:
- 3,831
- Bookmarks:
- 470
- Hits:
- 21,089
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
01 Nov 2023
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a baker's mile in your shoes by anonymousdaredevils, ImNotIntoMarvelAnymore (HereThereBeFic) for Ahavaa
Fandoms: Daredevil (TV)
18 Jun 2015
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Summary
“Foggy, listen to me. This isn't going to make any sense at all, but just – just listen. I need you to come by my place and – walk with me over to Murdock's, because I... need him to tell me how to call in sick.”
For a prompt on the Daredevil kink meme:
Matt Murdock + Brett Mahoney, body swap.
(Full prompt and warnings in preliminary note.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,508
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 256
- Kudos:
- 8,594
- Bookmarks:
- 2,433
- Hits:
- 57,052
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
09 Sep 2023
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After a blowout argument with Bruce, Jason lashes out in a way he knows will hit Bruce where it hurts. He doesn’t expect the aftermath.
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
29 Aug 2023
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"Just a couple of orphans," Duke mumbles sadly, laughing with just enough self-deprecation that it could be passed off as genuine, "Sitting on the roof of a mansion, all alone, wallowing in our self pity. Should we start a club? Make matching bracelets?"
Bruce gives him a funny look, his eyes impossibly soft, as he whispers, "I'm not alone."
Duke turns to him with a confused frown.
"I've got you." Bruce says, like it's that simple.
(After a painful reality check, Duke and Bruce sit on the roof and look at the stars.)
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,116
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 45
- Kudos:
- 1,301
- Bookmarks:
- 197
- Hits:
- 6,734
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
21 May 2023
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Summary
Damian huffs, sounding slightly annoyed again, but Jason's starting to think that it might just be his default tone of voice, "Yes, Todd. I have been going for about two months now. Thomas and I decided it was essential to our livelihoods."
There's a lot to unpack in that confession. Mostly though, Jason is rather horrified at all the emotions he's suddenly feeling and receiving. The last conversation he can remember having with Damian had been a few months ago where Red Hood had chucked the kid to the side before he could get shot, to which Robin told him never manhandle me like that again you neanderthal.
So this was a lot to take in at seven in the morning.
(Jason becomes a big brother and rebuilds some bridges, all in good time.)
Series
- Part 2 of DAMIAN WAYNE GOES TO THERAPY.
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
18 May 2023
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but it's golden (like daylight) by agents_cxrter
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
06 Mar 2023
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Summary
He can feel regular, deep breaths ghosting along his spine, the weight of a forehead against the base of his neck, hair tickling the exposed skin above his shirt’s collar.
He freezes and a sleepy grumble is muttered into his back from the figure curled up behind him.
“Luce?” He murmurs cautiously.
or: Lockwood and Co Appreciation Week Day Four: Favourite Ship
Series
- Part 4 of lockwood & co appreciation week 2023
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
14 May 2023
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proximity / barriers by certes
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
01 May 2023
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Summary
A shuffle of feet. Lockwood’s standing right behind her. She can feel the warmth of him shiver all along her back, the nape of her neck.
She’s about to turn to face him when suddenly that warmth connects: Lockwood’s arms fold carefully around her, his body draping overtop of hers like he suddenly can’t stand. Lucy stiffens. His chin touches the side of her head, then his jaw, his mouth, as he curls in over her back, tucks his head down into her shoulder. Their cheeks press together. Something warm and heavy settles on the top of her head, and she realizes he’s pulled the blanket up over both of their heads like a shelter.
Like a cape.
“Sorry, Lucy,” he whispers in her ear. “Just bear it for a second. Please.”
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(the one where lockwood has a nightmare about the other side)
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
13 May 2023
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dropped my sword (i threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door) by agents_cxrter
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
26 Mar 2023
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Summary
“Got a new lackey to hide behind?” He asks Kipps as the older boy stares at his sword embedded high above them.
“My name is Lucy.” The girl informs him with a hard glare before Kipps can even open his mouth to speak, a soft Northern accent ticking through her words.
This is unusual – Kipps’ crew usually loiter behind him self-righteously but they let their not-so-fearless leader do the talking. Clearly, she is new if she doesn’t know that yet. If Lockwood wasn’t quite so cocksure of himself, the scowl she’s sending him would probably take him down a peg or two.
As it is, he instead becomes instantly fascinated.
or; Lockwood and Co Appreciation Week Day Seven: Free Day & Locklyle Week 2023 Day Seven: AU
Series
- Part 7 of lockwood & co appreciation week 2023
- Part 7 of Locklyle Week 2023
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,080
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 87
- Kudos:
- 1,307
- Bookmarks:
- 160
- Hits:
- 9,193
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
13 May 2023
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HOPE THE LOVE WE SHARED CAN RESURRECT THE LAST. by orpheusaki
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
27 Apr 2023
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Summary
"I would never be mad at you for this," Bruce tells him clearly, leaving no room for misunderstanding, blue eyes sharp and clear as they meet Jason's steadily, "I think you know this Jason, deep down. You know I would never blame you for any of this."
Jason's heart is tight, "I'm —"
Bruce places both hands on his shoulders, "Don't apologise. Just breathe with me."
Jason takes a deep breath in, matching Bruce's unshakeable calmness. It's the first time in a long time that Jason feels like he can actually breathe.
(Jason survives Ethiopia and returns home; this is the beginning.)
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
04 May 2023
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IF EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY (I WILL BEAR THE UNBEARABLE). by orpheusaki
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
03 Mar 2023
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"Father. Do not panic. I have everything under control."
Bruce immediately begins to panic, because Damian should know his father would never panic, so whatever has happened, whatever Damian claims he has under control, is undoubtedly going to make Bruce panic. Like right now. He's panicking.
But just as Bruce pushes himself to sit up on the bed, with great difficulty due to the bandages across his stomach, eyes darting over Damian to find any injuries —
Thomas Wayne, age thirty, walks through his bedroom door.
(Or; a ten step guide of things not to do when you're sent to the past, by Bruce Wayne.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,478
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 213
- Kudos:
- 7,734
- Bookmarks:
- 1,676
- Hits:
- 47,584
Bookmarked by NotThePotatoes
29 Mar 2023