MatchingWasNeverAnOption



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov, captain of the Boston Raiders, has a boyfriend. A definitely real, suspiciously (and boringly) handsome, conveniently offline, consistently unable to meet up in real life boyfriend.

    Who lives in Canada.

    Unfortunately for him, absolutely no one believes him.

    The more serious Ilya gets about his Totally Real Canadian Boyfriend™️, the more concerned his teammates become that someone either needs to call MTV and get him on the next episode of Catfish or that he's slowly losing his mind.

    Shane Hollander is, fortunately, very real, very sarcastic, and increasingly delighted that an entire NHL locker room seems to think that he's a government psyop to distract Ilya from his game.

    Series
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    Words:
    17,633
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    1/1
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    24 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “You invited the team to our house. . . for a bachelor party.”

    Ilya pauses before smiling and wincing. “Yes.”

    There’s a beat of silence between them. “Ilya, they are going to destroy our house.”

    “We don’t know that for sure.” he argues. “Plus, it is for Harris and Troy. We should be the ones to do it.” Ilya shrugs.

    “Because we’re gay?”

    (shane and ilya host a bachelor party for harris and troy and the whole thing ends up way more chaotic and way more wholesome than expected)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,695
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    1/1
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    24 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    If Ilya Rozanov was set to be branded for life in the space above his butt crack, he was damn well going to pay a premium for it.

    Booking with one of the most exclusive tattoo studios in North America was the easy bit.

    Having his brain melted into oblivion by Shane Hollander’s steady hands and even steadier voice was decidedly not part of the plan.

    Or, the one where tattoo artist Shane is very good at giving instructions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,770
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    1/1
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    571
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    20 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    82,013
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    5
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    1,754

    19 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane and Ilya are hockey’s power couple. They’re unstoppable on the ice, darlings in the press, icons of the newly inclusive NHL.

    Ilya still isn’t satisfied. He needs the world to know Shane Hollander is his.

    -OR-

    Ilya takes Shane to a gay club and edges him within an inch of his life.

    Language:
    English
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    18,460

    19 Jun 2026