Littlequeen77
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Harry hated Director Boone, the Death Division, and the failing marks on his Trainee Unspeakable Final Record. Harry probably would have hated academic probation, too, if he weren’t busy hating his tutor.
Malfoy does a lot less tutoring than Harry would have thought, and anyway, Malfoy’s clearly Up To Something. Malfoy has a secret, and he knows Harry is determined to figure it out. He’ll even tell him, too, if only Harry can explain why he wants to become an Unspeakable.
Too bad Harry doesn’t have a clue.
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How To Hump Your Rival In One Easy Step by Moonflower_Rose for RatKingPoe
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
16 Dec 2025
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It took Harry many steps to follow Malfoy out into the school grounds, but only one to absolutely blow his mind.
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Draco Malfoy gets everything he wants.
A love story featuring: a chipped tooth, baby chicks born in a bathtub, Harry Potter playing the piano poorly, quitting smoking but taking up vaping instead, domesticity, desire, dandelion seeds, a perfect romance and then the real one.
Bookmarked by Littlequeen77
15 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Real and fake and fake and real. Great story.
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In the fall of 1998, Harry finds a dollhouse. In the spring of 2018, he finds his home.
- Language:
- English
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- 40,701
- Chapters:
- 6/6
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- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by Littlequeen77
15 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
AU, no kids. Liked the construct of the doll house. Realistic.
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"Congratulations," Malfoy said, when Harry saw him next. He had to have cut in front of half a dozen disgruntled Ministry employees in the queue to stand behind Harry. "I'm so sorry I missed the wedding. My invite must have gotten lost in the mail."
"Must've," Harry said. "We held up the ceremony for you. Waited for hours, but you didn't show."
Malfoy's voice was light. Cheerful. "You might've rescheduled."