Kalime
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The Kisses Don’t Count, If No One Else Knows by oldenuf2nb
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
23 Nov 2020
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Summary
Minister for Magic Harry Potter does not love his job. The one bright point in his life is his secret relationship with Quidditch Super Star Draco Malfoy. When they're 'outed' by a peeping tom with a camera, Harry has to decide what's really important.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,492
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 132
- Kudos:
- 3,808
- Bookmarks:
- 1,081
- Hits:
- 54,638
Bookmarked by Kalime
29 May 2026
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Summary
Irreparably damaged after the war, Harry has a choice to make: drag someone down with him or let the disease run its course.
OR: Harry is dying and Draco doesn't know how to mind his business.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,320
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 148
- Kudos:
- 1,580
- Bookmarks:
- 393
- Hits:
- 18,989
Bookmarked by Kalime
03 May 2026
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Summary
Fleeing the aftermath of his recent divorce, Draco Malfoy takes up a post as the new Potions Master at Hogwarts. At first he believes his hopes for a fresh start are dashed when he sees that a certain boyhood rival is on staff there as well. But Harry Potter is being weirdly nice to him, leaving Draco no choice but to play along. As Draco reckons with his ex-wife's infidelity and questions about his own sexuality, he finds himself going to an openly gay Potter for guidance. As their friendship deepens, Draco realizes that there is quite a lot that Potter can teach him. And that he is surprisingly ready to learn.
Series
- Part 1 of ASE Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 234,528
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 2,112
- Kudos:
- 5,896
- Bookmarks:
- 2,263
- Hits:
- 226,321
Bookmarked by Kalime
27 Apr 2026
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Summary
In which Draco is a Veela and Harry is his mate. Dark!Humor or Crack!Horror, you decide.
"When Draco Malfoy turned 16 years old, he thought he’d make a night of it. He went to a club, met a bloke, and then promptly took himself next door pay-by-the-hour hotel, determined to get the most bang for the Galleon, in a manner of speaking.
Not even one full Galleon into it, Draco Malfoy lost his virginity.
It all went just how he’d always imagined it, and it was, all in all, a bloody good time.
Waking up the next morning, however, next to a bloody ribcage and a man’s intestines strewn all over the bed like thick wet streamers - that was a bloody bad time."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,172
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 125
- Kudos:
- 2,630
- Bookmarks:
- 621
- Hits:
- 42,785
Bookmarked by Kalime
16 Apr 2026
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Summary
The short and smutty tale of how Draco Malloy wanked his way to true love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,116
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 101
- Kudos:
- 2,487
- Bookmarks:
- 436
- Hits:
- 29,957
Bookmarked by Kalime
15 Apr 2026