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   Hot Mess by patheticfangirl

   Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)  

   • Explicit
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   01 Apr 2025

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Astarion/Gale (Baldur's Gate)
   • Astarion (Baldur's Gate)
   • Gale (Baldur's Gate)
   • Cazador Szarr
   • Astarion's Siblings (Baldur's Gate)
   • Tara (Baldur's Gate)
   • Shadowheart (Baldur's Gate)
   • Minthara Baenre
   • Exxvikyap (Baldur's Gate)
   • Volothamp Geddarm
   • Scratch (Baldur's Gate)
   • Mystra (Dungeons & Dragons)
   • Ketheric Thorm
   • Barcus Wroot
   • Morena Dekarios
   • Karlach (Baldur's Gate)
   • Isobel Thorm
   • Bloodweave
   • Humor
   • Satire
   • Hurt/Comfort
   • Whirlwind Romance
   • Happy Ending
   • Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
   • Alternate Universe - Hot Ones
   • Fantasy Races Still Exist for Flavor
   • POV Astarion (Baldur's Gate)
   • Astarion Is a Mess (Baldur's Gate)
   • Astarion Has Self-Esteem Issues (Baldur's Gate)
   • Internet Meme Astarion
   • Magician Gale
   • Soft Gale (Baldur's Gate)
   • Gale Cooks (Baldur's Gate)
   • Gale's Creaking Knees (Baldur's Gate)
   • Gale Has a Big Dick (Baldur's Gate)
   • Warning: Cazador Szarr
   • Cazador Szarr Being an Asshole
   • Bullying
   • Workplace and Sexual Harassment
   • Elf Ears Are Erogenous Zones
   • Sensitive Elf Ears
   • Elf/Human Relationship(s)
   • Earjobs
   • Phone Sex
   • Oral Sex
   • Anal Sex
   • Frottage
   • Bogleech Buttplug
   • Recreational Drug Use
   • Mild Dissociation
   • Bad Online Therapy
   • Hornhub
   • Harvard Willoughby Slander
   • Mild Vomiting (it's a hot sauce show)
   • Choking
   • Hot Sauce Poisoning
   • Busty Deep Gnomes
   • Volo Is Basically Lin Manuel Miranda
   • Faerûnian Twitter Is a Cesspool
   • Cazador Shits Himself
   • Pothead Petras
   • Texting
   • Social Media
   • Multimedia

   Summary

   Astarion thought this stupid hot sauce show would last a season or two before it was cancelled. Ten years later, he’s still Cazador’s sidekick, taking potshots for laughs and enduring worse abuse when the cameras stop rolling.

   An upcoming guest—famed magician Gale Dekarios—has never seen an episode of Hot Mess, and he’s about to shake things up.

   Series

   • Part 1 of Sauce

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   154,065

   Chapters:

   24/24

   Comments:

   2,416

   Kudos:

   1,361

   Bookmarks:

   325

   Hits:

   33,376

   Bookmarked by JadeStrife

   10 Sep 2024