Jablooey



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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    28 Jun 2026

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    The woman had her hair tucked under a knit hat, and her eyes were actually kind.

    "You are cold," she said.

    "I'm fine," Shane said. His teeth betrayed him with a chatter.

    She unwound her scarf from her own neck and wrapped it around his.

    Eight-year-old Shane goes to a hockey camp in Moscow, becomes a victim to language barrier, and gets rescued by a woman who gives him her scarf and tells him snow angels are real.

    Eighteen years later, Ilya finds out his mother had already met the love of his life.

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    23 Jun 2026

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    “You are not broken, Ilya,” Terry says, sounding a little stern now. “I told you to keep an eye on the side effects. How long have you been experiencing this?”

    “Since last night.”

    “What?”

    “Since last night,” Ilya repeats. “Or afternoon, technically.”

    And Terry…Terry fucking laughs.

    Ilya is going to die, and Shane will be sad forever and Terry fucking laughs.

    “It hasn’t even been a day?” Terry clarifies, still chuckling. “Well, this could have nothing to do with the medication. It could just be an off day—”

    “Off day?” Ilya repeats incredulously. “Have you seen my husband? There are no off days with an ass like that.”

    OR: Ilya starts taking antidepressants only to realise it's fucking up his sex life. And, he acts totally very chill about it.

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    19 Jun 2026

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    “I turned the other cheek every fucking time. I still got tossed on my ass the second I went too far over the line, and threatened by the commissioner, and told to kill myself on just about every social media platform because my nightmare that I’d get outed came true. And you, after everything you did, got to come out to a supportive team and fans, get a slap on the wrist, and have your happy fucking ending.”

    Or:

    An exploration of Shane Hollander's struggle against racism and homophobia in hockey, and how others come to understand it

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    17 Jun 2026

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    “Why are you here?” Ilya asked, very quietly.
    It still felt like a slap.
    Shane must have let out a sound of some sort, because Ilya turned to look at him, finally.
    “Did not mean it like that,” Ilya said. “Just… surprised.”
    Shane shifted awkwardly from one foot to the next, as if he was suddenly coming to the realization that he had no right to be here at all. “I got a call from the hospital,” he explained. “They told me I’m your emergency contact.”
    “Sorry,” Ilya said, in such a quiet voice it was almost impossible to hear him. “I forgot to change it.”
    Shane could only frown. That did not make him any less confused. “I guess I just… I don’t understand why you put me down as your emergency contact in the first place. It’s not like we…”
    Ilya took a couple of deep breaths. It looked like they were painful. His eyes slid away from Shane, like he couldn’t bear to look at him. “Did not have anyone else,” he admitted, and now his voice was the smallest Shane had ever heard it, like Ilya was trying to disappear as the words left him. “I’m sorry.”

    --

    Or: Ilya has a car accident. Shane is his emergency contact... even though they're no longer seeing each other.

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    11 Jun 2026