Iwarel



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    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

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    22 Jun 2026

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    Shane is cursed as a child so that he may never remember anyone he meets. He wakes up remembering nothing.

    Ilya Rozanov is the rival he can't forget: even when he does. A story told in endless firsts.

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    21 Jun 2026

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    What if instead of walking in on Shane and Ilya making out, what if David came across Ilya alone at the Cottage?

    ***

    “I’m David. Hollander. Shane’s dad.” 

    Ilya genuinely couldn’t figure out what the fuck to do. He needed to send out an SOS, but he had set his phone down somewhere and had no idea if it was in the sunroom, bedroom, or bathroom, and wasn’t about to go dash around to hunt it down. And as hard as he wracked his brain, he couldn’t come up with a single plausible explanation for his presence in Shane’s summer home other than, “I’m in love with your son. We have been fucking since we were teenagers. We have a ten year plan.” 

    Instead, what he choked out was, “Sorry. No English.” 

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    17 Jun 2026

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    “We’ve never met, but I’ve seen you before. Not in pictures, but in his face. In his smile. In his laugh,” Shane continues in Russian, slow and careful with each word as he looks out over the water. “On his good days. On the bad ones, too.”

    Oh, Ilya realizes distantly. His grip slackens on the mug in his hands. This is not for him.
    .
    .
    .
    [or, shane asks irina for her blessing.]

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    14 Jun 2026

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    “Where are you going?”

    “To the arena, Hollander. We are playing a game in three hours.”

    “That’s tomorrow, Rozanov,” Hollander says, smirking like Ilya might be fucking with him and he wants to make sure he’s in on the joke. He looks behind and around him. “Um, can I come inside?”

    “Hollander, we have game today. You were here yesterday.”

    Hollander is striding toward his kitchen, looking over his shoulder at Ilya like he’s getting tired of the joke. “Very funny. I was in Montreal yesterday, Rozanov.”

    “Hollander.” Ilya goes to stand in front of him. Hollander’s eyes flicker up and down his body the way that Ilya usually craves, but is rather unwelcome right now. “Today is Thursday. Game is today. Yesterday, you came to my house. We ate tuna melts, watched Buffalo game. Then, you left.”

    “Rozanov, it’s Wednesday morning. And I’ve never been to your house before.”

    “Hollander…”

    “Look at your phone if you don’t believe me.”

    Ilya snorts like a bull and pulls his phone out of his pocket, swipes down on the screen to look at the date.

    Wednesday, November 9th.


    Or: Ilya Rozanov in Groundhog Day!

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    10 Jun 2026

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