Elaustic
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“Adrian is married?” Chris says, shocked enough that Economos gets the mouse back from under his hand.
“Oh, that,” Harcourt says, passing the table with a pair of folders in her hands and seeming entirely unconcerned.
“Who’s he – ?” Chris bodily shoves Economos’ chair across the floor, then grabs the mouse again to click at the link under the relationship status.
“Wait, don’t –”
“What the fuck?” Chris says, clicking back to the Vigilante profile a second time, then the link again, but it still goes to Peacemaker. “Is this broken?”
Bookmarked by Elaustic
24 Feb 2026
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"So you want me to like, teach you how to fuck a chick. Hands-on."
"It doesn't have to go that far," Adrian said, and the alcohol must have been hitting him more now because his face was a lot redder than before. "But at my age, people kind of expect you to be good at kissing and I've… never actually done that."
"I'm gonna teach you," Chris decided aloud, full of resolve. "'Cus I'm your fuckin' friend, and I'm a pussy magnet. And if you can get even half– no– even a one-eighth of what I know, you'll be drowning in pussy, too."
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Or:
Two idiots manipulate themselves into having sex with each other. But not real sex. Because it's just, like, practice.Bookmarked by Elaustic
23 Feb 2026
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That Story About Death by Spideypool_supremacy
Fandoms: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Wolverine (Marvel Comics), Deadpool (Marvel Comics), Spider-Man (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
27 Jul 2025
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"I don't understand how help from him," Spider-Man said, throwing a pointed look at Deadpool, "is any better than mine."
Logan glanced between them. "He was not planned."
"He's right. My parents didn't use any protection for their nasty business. They quickly realized the perks of safe sex after that."
OR
A roadtrip with Deadpool, Spider-Man, Wolverine and vague signs of depression
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,553
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 454
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- 1,020
- Bookmarks:
- 240
- Hits:
- 16,631
Bookmarked by Elaustic
10 Feb 2026
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World's Apart by riseofthefallenone
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
20 Jun 2021
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Spider-Man puts the ass in Assassin, and only Wade truly appreciates the joke. The Spider-Man trying to kill him? Not so much. Maybe he should try terrible flirting instead of terrible jokes? That might spare his life in this weird topsy turvy universe where everything is the same, except Spider-Man, it seems.
Series
- Part 4 of Spider-Man Bingo 2021
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,757
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 16
- Kudos:
- 474
- Bookmarks:
- 49
- Hits:
- 4,852
Bookmarked by Elaustic
26 Jan 2026
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this side of paradise by thistleraven
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
13 May 2025
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a sex pollen fuck buddy fic.
For the record: the whole thing is Peter’s fault.
They’re sitting on a rooftop, nearing the end of patrol, when Peter decides to jab Fate right in the eye and flip her the bird for good measure.
"—and I was sure it was about to be a sex pollen disaster, but thankfully," Wade says, knocking on his temple for good luck, "just some classic, springtime eau d'jizz from those pear tree things."
“There is no such thing as sex pollen,” Peter snorts derisively.
Wade points accusingly at him.
“Now you’ve done it! You’ve Invoked the Trope! We’re doomed by the narrative now!”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,359
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 162
- Kudos:
- 1,268
- Bookmarks:
- 213
- Hits:
- 13,623
Bookmarked by Elaustic
13 Jan 2026