Elasmith
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Summary
Despite the photographs and portraits Nandor keeps around the house on the Island of Staten, he sometimes feels like he is forgetting himself anyway. It’s not like he is looking to fall on a stake any time soon, but he does have some serious worries about his immortal life.
Can vampires age?
…
Is there such a thing as vampire nursing homes?
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"Objectively speaking, Sanji’s wedding day is not the worst thing to ever happen to him – there are far too many contenders for that title, but the day of his mother’s death is probably the one topping the chart – but it is on the list somewhere. And not at the bottom, at that."
Or:
Sanji thinks he's marrying the Demon of the East, the Pirate Hunter, a member of the Worst Generation and a cruel pirate, all for his bastard of a father's benefit.
Meanwhile, Zoro is marrying the hot guy he saw once as a picture in Red-Foot Zeff's restaurant. Also, they offered him booze.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,995
- Chapters:
- 25/?
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- 1,513
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- 3,077
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Bookmarked by Elasmith
15 May 2026
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Summary
“I need a date.”
Sanji’s head bats back and forth between the kitchen and the galley. He’s got Zoro pressed up against a wall, forcefully, unlike whatever song and dance Zoro was playing with the rando outside. Sanji fists Zoro’s long coat and looks him dead in the eyes. Well, eye.
Zoro blinks owlishly at him, the vein clear on his forehead for all of a second while he processes Sanji’s declaration. “You want to date me?”
“What? No—” Sanji could vomit from the absurdity. He’s one step away from strangling Zoro with his own haramaki. His cheeks burn, and even he knows how stupid he sounds, but there isn’t a universe out there that exists where he sounds dumber than Mosshead. So, his jaw tightens. “If we do this, I need a date.”
“Okay,” Zoro says, “so, like, a fluffer—?”
“NO!”
--
Zoro says they can fuck around so long as they don't make it weird. They both, of course, proceed to make it weird.
Series
- Part 1 of that frou frou shit
Bookmarked by Elasmith
05 May 2026
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“In town they say the woods are full of magic,” Zoro recalled, thinking of the stories Usopp loved to spin when he'd had more than a single ale. “Think if we stepped over, we’d be in a faerie ring?”
“Who’s to say we aren’t already?” Curly’s smile was enigmatic, a flicker of something sharp and full of secrets behind his teeth. “Maybe the world’s out there and we’re on the other side.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,460
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 125
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- 1,200
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- 305
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Bookmarked by Elasmith
21 Apr 2026
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After a long regular season of hockey and an even more grueling postseason, Sanji’s finally done it. He carried the Germa Raiders in a 4-1 victory over the Windmill City Pirates, earning them the Stanley Cup. He’s finished. He’s won.
Unfortunately for him, Pirates defenseman Roronoa Zoro is too damn stubborn to lose, stubborn enough to bend time itself to his will. Sanji’s forced to relive the Stanley Cup Finals, over and over again, until he finds a way to grind the man’s willpower into dust.
Series
- Part 1 of Hockey Time Loop
Bookmarked by Elasmith
20 Apr 2026
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After being forced to live with an injured Zoro while stranded together on an inhabited island, Sanji finds his feelings of animosity slowly changing into something else entirely. Which might be easier to swallow if he could get some decent sleep.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,099
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 599
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- 661
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Bookmarked by Elasmith
14 Apr 2026