DojoLoach
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It felt amazing to be close with him like that again. The only light in the room came from the dull glow of the TV, and the way it hit Blitzø made it hard for Stolas to look away from him. He’d been a bit disappointed when the documentary ended, casting them mostly into darkness, but it wasn’t reason enough to stop.
It felt amazing until suddenly it didn’t.
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Or; Stolas struggles to understand why something from the past is bothering him so much now.
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“Moxxie, who the fuck is that?”
Blitzø had told Moxxie he didn’t want another court jester. They had been through a shit ton of them and the last one, Dennis, had been so fucking terrible he’d decided it was a position his castle didn’t fucking need.
“He’s a jester, Your Majesty.” Moxxie provided unhelpfully. “Or maybe he’s a clown.”
The guy was dressed in a goofy ass costume made up of reds, yellows, and blues, with a pointy hat on top of his head and the stupid markings painted on his face. Obviously he was a jester. But he was also freakishly tall and covered in feathers, and Blitzø had never seen him before.
“His name, Moxx. And what the fuck is he doing here?” Blitzø snapped, lower eyelid twitching.
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Or; A mysterious clown owl shows up at Blitzø's castle. He doesn't speak, he's not very funny, and Blitzø is unreasonably horny about it.
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The Very Horny Caterpillar by DojoLoach, HelluvaBoink, NeverALonelyDay
Fandoms: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
05 Apr 2026
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Blitzø hadn’t planned to go out during the lightning storm, but his antennae was twitching like crazy. Somebuggy was giving off some extremely horny pheromones out there, and Blitzø was going to get to the bottom of it.
Or; Stolitz as bugs. What else do you want me to say?
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The owl picked up the painting at a thrift store. He didn’t really seem like the type, but his eyes lit up the moment he saw it. Blitzø thought maybe he bought it as a joke for someone else, but then the owl took it home and put it up on the wall in the middle of his dining room. He stood back with his hands on his hips and smiled all wide at it.
Fucking weirdo.
Whatever. He seemed like an easy target, anyway.
“TADAAAA–ah fuck.”
Blitzø leapt out of the painting and fell flat on his fucking face.
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Or; Blitzø has a job as a sad clown in a painting that is released when people cry in front of him and then he tries to cheer them up but really he just wants them to kill themselves
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Stolas gazed out into the endless expanse of space before him. He’d been away longer than intended–it was time to turn back. Yet, as he stared into the silent void, a strange feeling crept in. The thought of returning home–to his planet, to his wife–didn’t bring him comfort. Instead, it stirred a deep, aching loneliness he didn’t know how to address.
Then, out of nowhere, there was a deafening crash. And then he was plummeting, plummeting, plummeting down…
• • •
The little creature he had met after his crash landing was quite cute, and how fortuitous that Stolas could communicate with him!
“Y’know, I could help you if you wanted me to,” Blitzø said with a grin, tail swaying slowly behind him. “But you have to give me something in return!”
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Or; A Pikmin inspired AU where a recently married Stolas crash lands on an alien planet where he meets Blitz, an alien creature who agrees to help him as long as he agrees to return the favor, one day. (No Pikmin knowledge required to read!)Series
- Part 1 of Pikmin AU
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My Best Friend’s Stupid Fucking Arranged Wedding by satanic_bipanic
Fandoms: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
04 Feb 2025
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The night of Stolas' bachelor party, his best friend Blitzø tries to stop him from making a huge mistake in marrying Stella.
Written for HelluValentine Week. Day 2 Prompt: RomCom
Stereotypical RomCom/Romantasy behavior from all parties. Let’s play Spot the Tropes!
Series
- Part 1 of Choose Me
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“Darling,” Stolas huffs with an intent grind of his hips, interrupting Blitz’s spiraling train of thought, all four of his bright eyes half-lidded and unblinkingly focused on him, “kiss me.”
Blitz’s eyes dart to the beak hanging open barely two inches from his own mouth, flicks his forked tongue out at it as the idea worms its way into his brain, mutes his alarms, then complies with the prince’s request.
or: stolitz kiss during
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What is the logic behind the undeniable urge to literally smash your face into another’s, where does the urge to purse your lips and leave a trail of wet patches quickly cooled by the air over another’s skin come from? Blitzø has never been able to make sense of the desire, of why he’ll become so consumed with the idea of pressing close to another person that his entire body goes stiff in a herculean effort to not give in to his desires. He’s not always been able to, in some of his more embarrassing moments.
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Stolas' infidelity leads him down a road he never thought he'd travel. But hey, at least his blackmailer is sexy.
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Stella marches over to him, stopping about a foot away. She grabs his wrist and pulls his hand up, pressing it to her breast. His fingers stiffen against the warmth of her feathers. Grinning at him, she squeezes her talons more tightly around his arm.
“If you care for me at all,” she says, “you will get over yourself and fuck me. And when I eventually pop out an egg, I will be more than happy to stay far away from you and your hideous little ass.”
Stolas swallows around nothing, body alight with shame. As much as he has no choice in this, neither does Stella. It's what their families expect.
“Okay,” he agrees.
Or:
Stolas' experience of sex has always been transactional. After Sinsmas, he struggles to find a balance in his relationship with Blitzø and closes the gap the only way he knows how.