DeliciouslyImpetuous
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Summary
Hermione is back in England after eight years. Her first order of business is to attend a dinner party hosted by DILFs.
The Eight Rules for Fucked Up Individuals: A Dinner -
1. Leave work at the door. If you must talk about work, take a shot.
2. Wear Black. This isn’t a funeral, but we are mourning the people we used to be, and the expectations of who we’ll never become.
3. Compliments must be specific; the more unhinged the better.
4. You cannot say “I’m Fine”...Unless you give a 3-5 sentence monologue explaining why you are absolutely not.
5. Everyone is encouraged to share their pettiest opinion. The smaller the hill, the harder you die on it.
6. Crying is allowed. If you cry, you get first dibs on dessert.
7. Everyone must toast to something they’ve lost. Metaphors are allowed.
8. If you fall in love, you must declare it. Lust counts.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,700
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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- 101
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Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
05 Jul 2026
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Marriage is largely a matter of perspective. From hers, Draco Malfoy is an exceptionally good husband.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,898
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 190
- Kudos:
- 1,116
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- 197
- Hits:
- 10,449
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
22 Jun 2026
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A Silver Sickle in Your Shoe by Ceilidhchaos, SarahFraser
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 May 2023
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The birth rate in magical Britain is so low that a Marriage Law has been put into place. The Unspeakables have used testing to determine compatibility and some of the matches are a bit of a surprise. Pansy Parkinson finds herself set to marry her on-again, off-again lover, Theodore Nott, and the Chosen One himself, Harry Potter. Theo’s a mess and he and Pansy have a decade of drama between them. And she did try to offer Potter up to Voldemort that one time, but she really hoped he wasn’t still holding a grudge about that.
Series
- Part 2 of Marriage Law Stories
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,631
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 27
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- 442
- Bookmarks:
- 75
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- 9,674
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
31 May 2026
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The Devil In The Details by inadaze22, jaxxinabox for dreamsofdramione
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Nov 2021
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“You misunderstand, Minister.” Appreciative grey eyes drank her in like wine he wanted to savour. When he had his fill, a slow smirk curled the edges of his lips. “You don’t need an escort. You need a partner.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,186
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 21
- Comments:
- 100
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- 5,630
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- 1,327
- Hits:
- 152,381
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
26 May 2026
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Summary
Hermione Granger survived two years in enemy hands. Or so she claims. But in a war where minds can be tampered with, survival is no guarantee of freedom. The Order watches her now, suspicion mounting as one question weighs heavier than the rest.
They say no one escapes the Harrower whole.
So how did she?
***
“I built my heart out of ice on purpose, Granger. I needed it like that. It’s what kept me alive. How dare you set it on fire. How dare you fucking ruin me.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,887
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 331
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- 1,938
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- 525
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- 24,737
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
21 May 2026