Cjm24
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Summary
Armed with a purple crayon and some very specific legal advice from his grandfather, Scorpius takes charge of the Manor’s legal affairs.
His first order of business?
Acquiring Hermione.
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A Series of Rather Unfortunate Events by TheWitchfluencer for SilverDragonGemini
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Apr 2026
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"An off book assignment to a middle-of-nowhere muggle village where we are forced to stay overnight at an inn with only one bed…" Draco raised a brow. "It's highly suspicious.”
Her eyes flashed. “And just what exactly are you implying?”
"I’m implying that I have read this book before, Granger.”
Her lips twitched but she denied him her full smile. “I see. Well then please enlighten me, what happens next?”
“Oh it’s terrible,” he tsked. “If the tropes are to be believed, we are all but doomed by forced proximity.”
ORA hilariously self-aware "Only one bed at the inn" Dramione Minific
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“Miss Granger. Mr Weasley. And Mr Malfoy.”
Hermione groaned. What kind of foul luck did she have that she just had to be grouped with a pair of Wizards that were – for the past three weeks – embroiled in some obnoxious, maddening pissing contest?
And somehow, she recently – through no actions of her own – had gotten stuck in the middle of it.
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This sixth year, Hermione's biggest concern is acing all her classes. She doesn't have time for Malfoy and Ron's annoying battle of the egos. But when a magical injury lands her in the infirmary, helped by the last person she'd expect, she suddenly realizes she has a solution to her problem.
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Summary
Hermione is back in England after eight years. Her first order of business is to attend a dinner party hosted by DILFs.
The Eight Rules for Fucked Up Individuals: A Dinner -
1. Leave work at the door. If you must talk about work, take a shot.
2. Wear Black. This isn’t a funeral, but we are mourning the people we used to be, and the expectations of who we’ll never become.
3. Compliments must be specific; the more unhinged the better.
4. You cannot say “I’m Fine”...Unless you give a 3-5 sentence monologue explaining why you are absolutely not.
5. Everyone is encouraged to share their pettiest opinion. The smaller the hill, the harder you die on it.
6. Crying is allowed. If you cry, you get first dibs on dessert.
7. Everyone must toast to something they’ve lost. Metaphors are allowed.
8. If you fall in love, you must declare it. Lust counts. -
Tea Towels and Other Weapons of Courtship by sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 Apr 2025
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Summary
Draco Malfoy thinks he's courting Hermione Granger.
Hermione Granger thinks Draco Malfoy is experiencing a very slow, very polite breakdown.
Nothing about this is graceful.
They're both doing it anyway.Expect:
-missed signals
-disaster courtship rituals
-deeply amused Slytherins
-Ginny Weasley gives dating advice
-a tea towel that counts as an act of war
-"this is fine" energy
-Hermione Granger, missing every signal
-Draco Malfoy, sending them like distress signals from a sinking ship
-nothing, absolutely nothing, remotely gracefulChallenge: April Showers Bring May Flowers
Aster:
Patience, elegance
Required Tag: Cultural Misunderstandings or Slow Burn