BlueInfernian



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Hayden: Jackie is very jealous of your manny.
    Hayden: Says he’s incredible and that a bunch of the school moms are trying to get play dates with Violet.

    Shane: He is great.
    Shane: Kind of a menace, too, but Violet loves him, so I overlook some things.

    Hayden: Oh, I’m sure.
    Hayden: She also said he’s super hot.
    Hayden: Like he missed his calling as a model hot.

    Shane: Geez, Hayd. You want to marry him or something?

    Hayden: NO.
    Hayden: I just thought maybe for you, ya know?
    Hayden: You haven’t dated anyone like…ever.

    Shane: I’m not going to get involved with my daughter’s manny.
    Shane: That would be irresponsible.
    Shane: Even if he is stupid model hot.
    Shane: And obnoxiously charming and funny.
    Shane: Plus, he cooks, and has the best accent.
    Shane: And is amazing with my daughter.
    Shane: God. Fuck my life.

    Series
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    23 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    5 times Shane talks about Ilya, +1.

    Language:
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    Chapters:
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    Comments:
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    21 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane figured he'd be the anxious one. He'd done the math. He knew his limitations.

    He was wrong.

    Maxim Kai Hollander-Rozanov is a month old. His Papa has installed outlet covers in the Centaurs locker room, submitted a formal written request to have the team whirlpool gated - citing peer-reviewed literature - and can currently be found standing six inches from the bassinet at four in the morning, counting breaths.

    His Papa is fine, thanks for asking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,066
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    1/1
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    1,145
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    15 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    In which Shane Hollander's pubic hair goes viral, the internet colour-matches it to Pantone 15-1214 (Warm Sand), and Ilya Rozanov - creates accounts on Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, Tumblr, AND YouTube to anonymously defend his not-boyfriend's crotch using genetics Wikipedia and advanced hockey analytics.

    Features: a one-star Calvin Klein review ("very poor elastic, ruined my life"), Svetlana and Rose who have never once been wrong, and the most romantic use of the word "melanocytes" in the history of the English language according to Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
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    11,506
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    14 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is still learning that he doesn't have to be perfect in his own relationship. Ilya is still learning the rules of Shane's bad days. So when Shane tries to push him away after a crushing loss, it leads to a tense argument. But ten years of rivalry are no match for Shane’s tears; the second he starts to cry, Ilya folds like a house of cards.

    Or: Shane tries to starve himself as punishment for losing, Ilya tries to feed him, and it turns into a very soft night of pampering because Ilya is legally incapable of staying angry at a crying Shane.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
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    Comments:
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    248,436

    04 Apr 2026