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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    A teenage Ilya arrives at development camp already planning to kill himself. Shane keeps accidentally interrupting his suicide attempts because he’s obsessed with rules, routine, and following proper protocol.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,268
    Chapters:
    8/12
    Comments:
    158
    Kudos:
    482
    Bookmarks:
    142
    Hits:
    7,579

    01 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Again, Ilya feels the shame flare in his belly. He imagines his father across the counter from them, watching this unfold. Watching Ilya be babied by his fucking boyfriend over an injury. He remembered how he’d yell at his mother for babying Ilya, the word soft being thrown around a lot.

    But Ilya likes being babied. He likes watching Shane fuss and frown as he portions out the pills, filling a glass with Ilya’s favorite juice to wash them down with, then bustling up and back down the stairs with Ilya’s favorite pillow and the sleep mask he keeps in his travel bag for planes and hotels.

    He is soft. Weak too, probably. His father’s voice spits through his thoughts, sharp and disgusted. Ilya feels them settle on his shoulders, tug at his spine.

    “You okay?” Shane asks, hair messy from the shower, Ilya’s pillow against his chest.

    His father’s voice fades.

    “Yes, moya lyubov. I am okay.”

    -
    Or, a shoulder injury takes Ilya out for the season ten games into his second year with the Ottawa Centaurs. With one good arm and an empty house, Ilya battles with memories of his parents and his mental health.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,211
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    466
    Bookmarks:
    125
    Hits:
    3,801

    26 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “You’re impossible.”

    “Yet here you are.”

    A skiing accident sidelines DU hockey’s golden freshman center.

    A Russian phenom arrives to replace him.

    And a very poorly made housing assignment.

    A stupid tree may have cost Shane Hollander his first collegiate season, but Ilya Rosanov has cost him the rest of his peace.

    It would be easier if they stayed enemies.
    It would be easier if they didn’t have to go home to the same place every night.

    Between rehab sessions, early practices, and an apartment that’s way too small for this much ego, Shane and Ilya discover that rivalry is easy—it’s everything else that’s complicated.

    Or… enemies to friends (kind of) to lovers (ew, Ilya, no, that’s gross), with hockey, bad decisions, and feelings no one asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    116,546
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    311
    Kudos:
    380
    Bookmarks:
    234
    Hits:
    16,558

    26 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Following a near-fatal suicide attempt, Ilya Rozanov is admitted to Calder Ward. He speaks almost exclusively Russian, refuses interpreters, and answers most questions with shrugs or silence. Staff struggle to establish even the most basic details of his life. Why he attempted suicide, who he left a note for, and what he has lost remain mysteries.

    Across the ward, Shane Hollander is fighting a different battle. Intelligent, anxious, and trapped by an eating disorder, he attempts to maintain rigid control over food, exercise, and his body even as his health deteriorates. Despite increasing concern from staff, he struggles to recognise the severity of his illness.
    As clinicians search for answers, the story reveals that recovery is rarely driven by dramatic breakthroughs. Instead, it emerges through trust, routine, patience, and human connection.

    Told entirely through clinical documentation, ward notes, emails, assessments, and multidisciplinary discussions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,430
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    92
    Kudos:
    324
    Bookmarks:
    111
    Hits:
    5,560

    24 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “We’ve made a trade,” Coach announces. “For Shane Hollander.”

    It’s like the ground drops out from beneath Ilya, and his heart falls from his chest. It tumbles past rock bottom, down to the cavern that shattered open inside of him on that night five years ago. The night when Ilya walked away from Hollander for the last time.

    He can’t breathe.

    (Or: Shane doesn’t get hurt, they break up, and they don’t talk for five long years. Until Shane is traded to Ottawa.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,904
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
    2,132
    Kudos:
    24,920
    Bookmarks:
    6,567
    Hits:
    250,260

    23 Jun 2026