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    “The Red Hood has been good for Gotham,” Robin continued. “Crime in Park Row decreased by sixty one percent almost as soon as you showed up, and that’s even taking into account all the crime you commit. Drug overdoses have decreased by twenty two percent in adults and seventy nine percent in minors. Homeless minors are ninety two percent less likely to—”

    “Kid,” Jason interrupted. “Enough statistics. What the hell is this about?”

    Robin slowly lowered the tablet with his powerpoint presentation and looked up at Red Hood.

    “You care about Gotham,” Robin summarised. “Gotham needs Batman. Batman is missing and so is Nightwing. We need you to fill in for Batman.”

    “You want me to cover Batman’s patrols?” Jason clarified.

    “No,” Robin said. “I want you to be Batman.”

    Jason bluescreened.

     

    (Or: Batman and Nightwing mysteriously disappear before Red Hood has even started antagonising them, Robin is desperate, Gotham needs Batman, and Red Hood is Batman-Shaped.)

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    18 Jun 2026