Amargo



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    So what is the plan now, Mr. Spreadsheet?

    “Honestly I was kind of hoping your consciousness would just click back into your body once I touched you.” Shane scratches the back of his head.

    You treat me like slap bracelet, Ilya complains.

    After a bad hit knocks Ilya’s consciousness out of his body — literally — Shane finds himself sheltering the soul of his decade-long situationship in the back of his head. Turns out it’s a lot harder to keep secrets when you share a body.

    (They definitely still try, though.)

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    18 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander accidentally comes out to his hockey team after years of hiding his sexuality behind carefully crafted personas and unfinished coming out speeches. As the Metros slowly begin icing him out on and off the ice, Shane spirals between rage, grief, and self-discovery—while Ilya refuses to let him forget exactly who he is.

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    15 Jun 2026

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    If this is what Hollander is willing to give him, he will take it. It won’t be enough, not by a long shot, but if this is the little part of him he is allowed to have, by God he will take it.

    OR, Shane messages Ilya a few days after the tuna melt scene. Ilya is trying to not scare him away again. He will restrain himself. He will take what Shane gives him and never ask for more. Just please, he can’t see him walk out of his life again.

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    09 Jun 2026

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    There is a strong scent of antiseptic in the air, the kind that always haunts hospitals and morgues. Ilya thinks it is fitting. He thinks, perhaps, that some vital organ of his is failing irreparably, and he is only waiting for a doctor to call out his time of death.

    “You have lost your memories.” It’s not a question. Ilya’s burning hand drops from Shane’s cheek.

    “Yeah,” Shane says easily. “Wait, shit, did no one tell you?”

    “Is it temporary.” Ilya’s voice is hoarse, pleading. “This memory loss, is it… tell me that it is temporary.” Please, please, God. I know I promised to give anything up, but-

    Shane looks at Ilya with wide eyes. “They don’t know,” he says gently. He seems to be catching onto Ilya’s distress despite the drugs in his system.

    Ilya feels cold all over. Yes, any moment now, they will cover him with a white sheet and take him away.

    Shane's concussion in S01E05 leaves him missing his memories from the last decade. Ilya is now the only person in the world who knows the truth about him and Shane, and is forced to question whether to burden Shane with their complicated relationship or to walk away.

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    07 Jun 2026

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    “I am serious, though, you are safe, yes? Drunk at hotel, sitting on balcony, crying over Montreal’s terrible loss?”

    It makes sense that Ilya’s mind would go there first. Shane said he was outside. Based on past behavior, the hotel balcony is probably the only place Ilya would expect him to be. He feels a little giddy that he gets to shock him for once.

    “I’m at a club, actually.” He has to bite back a self-satisfied smile as he speaks, “With the team. Safe.”

    It's quiet for a few moments before Ilya deadpans,

    “Very funny joke.”

    (or: three days after the breakup with rose, shane gets drunk in boston. it spirals out from there.)

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    05 Jun 2026