AgentBuzzkill



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    For a moment, nothing happens. Then, about thirty seconds later, Ilya blinks once, then again, his expression tightening as confusion slowly takes over, trying to make sense of something that’s supposed to be impossible. Shane immediately knows that he’s freaking out.

    You’re freaking out right now, aren’t you? Please don’t freak out. Because if you freak out, then I’m going to freak out.

    "What the fuck?" Ilya yells, as he jerks back like he’s been burned, his hand ripping away from Shane’s ankle. His irises dart left to right crazily, locked in on Shane’s face as he searches for something. Shane stays silent. "What the fuck was that?"

    OR: Shane and Ilya develop telepathy while being in a situationship. It goes as well as you’d expect.

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    25 Jun 2026

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    “So. That’s it? Those are the rules?” Hayden asked. “Don’t go through your texts or photos, keep up with your workouts and diet, and listen to everything Yuna says, without question.”

    Shane seemed to be thinking about it, pausing a second. All of a sudden, he looked up at Hayden, again with that intense anxiety face.

    “And most importantly, do not talk to Ilya Rozanov. Ever. No matter what.” Shane said, “Avoid him. Don’t even look at him. OK?”

    Hayden nodded, and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Like he even needed to be told that. Besides, Shane had been avoiding Ilya Rozanov for his entire career. How hard could it be?

    OR a well-meaning witch bodyswaps Shane and Hayden (to teach them about the power of friendship) the day before the 2017 All Stars Game.

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    24 Jun 2026

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    A few months after Ilya joins the Centaurs, his apartment gets a gas leak. It's a perfectly inconvenient time to be out of housing, but luckily, Yuna and David come to the rescue. Now, Ilya just has to survive a week living with in-laws that may or may not hate his guts.

    As it turns out, his expectations could not have been more subverted.

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    1/1
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    14 Jun 2026

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    “I was trying to be cool about it.” Shane's confession is a quiet whine, muffled into his palms. “Go with the flow, y’know?”

    It’s almost unbearable, how much Ilya adores this perfect, neurotic man. “Hollander,” he says patiently. “You have never once gone with flow. Not ever in your life.”

    There is only one grey cloud in the perfect blue sky of Ilya’s summer.

    His two weeks at the cottage are almost over, and Shane still hasn’t asked him to stay.

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    12 Jun 2026

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    Svetlana could give Ilya everything Shane could not.

    She shared his language, his culture, and knew what it was like living in Russia–she didn’t have to try and learn Russian in secret so if Ilya wanted to just talk freely with her he could. She’d known Ilya his whole life, known his father and brother and, most importantly, his mother–the most precious person to Ilya. She could date Ilya, in public, and it wouldn’t cause a scandal–Ilya wouldn’t have to sacrifice his country to be with her or have to secure citizenship somewhere safe just so that if people found out he wouldn’t get arrested. She could stay with Ilya during the hockey season and share his space–she could get groceries with him and argue with him in the produce aisle about what to make for dinner that week. She could love Ilya, freely, and Shane could not.

    In the end it was not about Ilya or even Svetlana at all really. It was about what Shane could not be, what he could not give, to the person he loved most.

    OR: Shane and Svetlana meet for the first time and Shane battles with his insecurities.

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    04 Jun 2026