Chapter Text
Magnus headed to the cabin hoping for solitude and some peace of mind. He came back with an aching heart and a miserably crying little cat. Princess Marshmallow and Chairman Meow decided that they adored each other immediately. Church was less impressed but seemed to tolerate the newcomer. Having each other, and their two companions, made the feline and man happy. But it was very clear that they both felt like something was missing. And knew exactly what, or rather who, it was.
Two days after returning home Magnus sighed heavily upon finding Marshmallow sitting in front of his apartment’s door, clearly expecting someone. Hearing him, the cat looked at him and meowed pitiably. Magnus sat and picked up the tiny feline who immediately snuggled as close as possible for comfort. “I know”, he murmured miserably. “I wish things went differently, too.”
/
Alec didn’t stay at the cabin very long after Magnus left. Everything there reminded him of the violinist. The kitchen where they danced... The room where they kissed... The snow was full of echoes of their snowball fight. And every time he looked out the window, he saw the neighboring cabin where Magnus used to stay.
For the first time in his life Alec was heartbroken and he absolutely loathed it.
Jace and Izzy didn’t make things a lot easier with the questions they bombarded him with as soon as he got home. (And Jace happened to be his roommate so he didn’t really have an escape.) “So let me get this straight. You have feelings for that guy. You really, actually, finally have feelings for someone. And you just... let him go?”
Alec rolled his eyes. “He had a bad sprain and a very nearly broken rib! What was I supposed to do, hold him hostage like that creepy woman in that movie Iz made us watch?”
“Hey!” Izzy narrowed her eyes and pointed a finger at him. “For your information, ‘Misery’ is an amazing movie.” Her features and tone softened. “You should’ve told him about your feelings. What did you have to lose?”
Alec huffed and wrapped his arms around himself. “You think I didn’t try? I couldn’t get a word out of my mouth. Besides, he could’ve just... stayed if he wanted to.”
Jace’s eyebrow bounced up. “So... That’s it? Usually you’re more stubborn than that.”
Alec groaned. “I’m not in the mood for this, okay? I’m going to my room.” Which he did. And he didn’t slam the door like Izzy later claimed, thank you very much, it just... closed loudly.
In his room he stayed, only emerging when he absolutely had to. He attempted to study ahead just to have something to occupy his head but couldn’t concentrate. His thoughts kept straying to Magnus and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Eventually, two days before Christmas, his siblings forced him out of his room to watch nauseatingly cliched Christmas movies with them. Because apparently he needed to stop isolating himself. Much to his displeasure Clary, Jace’s girlfriend, was also there. And caught him rolling his eyes a few times too many at the movies. “You hate these things, don’t you?”
Jace smacked him upside the head lightly, almost tenderly. “Don’t mind the Grinch. He’s just missing someone.”
“We’re not talking about Magnus”, Alec growled and stuffed his mouth full of nauseatingly sweet popcorn as if that would’ve made a point.
Clary stilled, her eyes widening. “Magnus? Magnus Bane?”
For a couple of seconds Alec stared at her, struck mute by shock. (It was the longest he’d ever looked at her without glaring.) “Do you know him?”
Clary nodded. “We’ve known each other for... what, almost a decade. He’s like a big brother to me. He’s the musician I once said you should go out with.”
Alec blinked once, twice. Apparently he wasn’t dreaming this. “I thought you meant Sherman”, was the most intellectual first response her could come up with.
“You know well it’s Simon. And he’s straight.” Under different circumstances he might’ve wondered how Izzy stated that with so much confidence.
Clary went on with some hesitation, obviously wondering how much she was allowed to reveal. “He’s been... quiet and sad since the cabin. He’s refused to tell me why, just keeps claiming that he’s fine.” She paused and studied him with her gaze. “He misses you. And I could take you to see him, if you’d want me to.”
Alec sat frozen, his mind and heart going a million miles per hour. Eventually he pinched himself. And still didn’t wake up.
Izzy’s voice reached him with difficulty. A wide grin had appeared to her face. “You know... This may be the last chance you get.” She shrugged. “We both know there’s only one thing you want for Christmas. So you have two options. To keep moping around at home through Christmas. Or to do something to get what you want.”
“It needs to be Alec’s decision”, Clary interjected. The fond way she smiled made him regret how he’d treated her. (Not that he would’ve admitted as much out loud.) “If you’re pushed into this it’ll only lead to more mess and heartbreak. The decision needs to come from you.”
It was like something clicked into place. Suddenly Alec’s heart was steady and his mind was quiet. He nodded. “I want to see him.” Desperately. “Take me to him.” After a small delay, and with the help of a glare from Jace, he added. “Please.”
Clary grinned just like Izzy did earlier. “Well. You did say the magic word.”
/
When someone knocked on his door Magnus was very tempted to just ignore whoever it was. But when playing the saddest Christmas songs he knew with his violin didn’t drown out the incessant sound he had no other choice but to investigate. A small smile appeared to his face when he found Clary. “Biscuit! What a sight for sore eyes. What brings you here?” He really hoped she didn’t just come to check up on him. Catarina already did that far too often with varying excuses.
Clary grinned. “I came to give you an early Christmas gift.” She moved to the side as a signal for someone to reveal themselves. And suddenly Magnus couldn’t breathe. Because standing right there in front of him...
“Alexander?” he breathed out, his head spinning and his heart racing.
Alec smiled shyly. “Hey. I...” The man got no further than that. Because as soon as Marshmallow heard his voice she came running and climbed up Alec’s clothes until she was purring blissfully in the man’s arms.
Magnus couldn’t help but smile. “She’s missed you a lot.” He wasn’t quite ready to admit how much he’d missed Alec, too.
Alec sobered and clearly gathered his courage. “Look, Magnus...” The man swallowed and went on after Marshmallow licked his chin twice. “Since you left the cabin, I’ve been thinking a lot.” Alec looked at him, appearing heartbreakingly honest and vulnerable with the cat in his arms. “I like you. I mean... Really like you. I wish I never let you go because... I enjoy spending time with you. You’re the most magical person I’ve ever met. And... I know we’re both stubborn, and complicated, so it’d be hard as hell, but... I’d like to... try. With you.”
Magnus stared like he suddenly couldn’t understand English. Was Alec... offering what he thought the man was offering? Was this real? He tried to respond, to at least open his mouth, but nothing happened.
And in front of his eyes Alec’s hopeful facial expression fell. “I see.” The man gave Marshmallow to Clary and took a step backwards, fighting visibly to appear brave. “Just so you know, I’m still happy I met you. Have a Merry Christmas.” With that Alec turned and walked away, with Marshmallow and Magnus’ heart screaming as he disappeared.
Finally able to function, Magnus turned his gaze towards Clary. No amount of blinking woke him up. “That just happened, didn’t it?”
“Go!” Clary commanded and Marshmallow meowed her agreement.
Magnus ran, the best as he could with his still recovering ankle, anyway.
/
Alec didn’t think his feet had ever weighed as much as they did while he walked away, the shards of his broken heart aching in his chest. He pressed the elevator’s call button aggressively, like it was the only source of his pain. He was such an idiot...! And why was the elevator taking a damned year to arrive?
Someone living in an apartment nearby was listening to overly perky Christmas music and Alec was emotionally wounded enough to be convinced it mocked him personally.
“Alexander Lightwood!” Magnus’ sudden voice made him jump. The man limped towards him with a facial expression that could only be called stubborn. “Don’t you dare just... run away from me when I can’t run after you!”
Alec tensed up and swallowed laboriously. When did his mouth go so dry? “It’s... What I just said...”
Magnus shook his head fiercely. “Don’t you dare claim it didn’t mean anything. No more lying and hiding how we really feel.” Just as the elevator’s doors finally opened the smaller man inhaled a deep breath. “I like you too, Alec. I’ve regretted walking away since I did and I don’t want you to walk away now.”
The doors slid closed. Alec stood frozen. Or no, no longer frozen, resolute. “I don’t want to walk away, either”, he admitted. Once that was out of the way more words bubbled out. (Magnus’ small nod that seemed to say ‘Go on’ prompted him.) “I like you, too. A lot.”
Magnus’ smile, one that lit up the man’s eyes, was the most beautiful thing Alec had ever seen. (After the man himself, of course.) The man’s gaze traveled slowly from his eyes to lips and back again. “So... Now what?”
It was the same question Alec asked not too long ago. They were still scared out of their minds. But this time neither felt like lying, to themselves or each other.
Alec took a nearly cautious step closer to Magnus, as though fearing that the other might flee, after all. Then, very slowly and gently, he took the violinist’s face between his hands and pressed his lips against the waiting ones. And while they’d kissed before this one felt like their actual first kiss. It was inquisitive and loving, two people testing something that scared and excited them. It tasted of all those hopes and dreams Alec had imagined would never come true.
If Alec was a sappy, corny person, which he absolutely wasn’t, he would’ve claimed that Magnus tasted heavenly.
In the end, once breathing became an unfortunate necessity, they stood with their arms wrapped around each other and their foreheads resting together. Held on like fearing the other would vanish. “I can’t believe how difficult we made everything. You’re an idiot”, Magnus mumbled.
“So are you”, Alec returned immediately.
“I know.” They exchanged another kiss. Because they damned well could. Then looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. “But we’re learning. Slowly.”
“I’m very okay with slow”, Alec declared. And meant it. Why rush when they had all the time in the world?
That was when they became aware enough of the world around them to notice their background music. One of Magnus’ neighbors was listening to ‘All I Want for Christmas’ and sang along, loudly and painfully off-key.
The two men looked at each other and burst into laughter. Until Magnus groaned. “I shouldn’t be laughing with a broken rib.”
Alec hummed and nuzzled Magnus’ cheek comfortingly with his nose. “It’s just bruised. Let’s not get overdramatic.”
Magnus snorted and rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Like you’re never overdramatic.”
Alec shrugged. His facial expression was probably smug but he didn’t care with the most beautiful man he’d ever seen in his arms. His heart sang happily. “You know how to shut me up.”
Oh, Magnus certainly did.
/
Unsurprisingly they spent that Christmas together, both their families insisting that they wanted to see the lovebirds. Raphael was, as Magnus put it, his ‘own charming self’. Ragnor drank and sang a lot. Catarina and especially Madzie greeted Alec with wide-open arms. Izzy and Magnus were almost instantly like old friends. Jace tried to be the stern, protective brother but caved in fairly quickly at Magnus’ charm. To Alec’s shock even his parents were civil towards Magnus. Max asked several embarrassing questions but welcomed anyone who made his brother happy. On Christmas Day Magnus had a concert and Alec fell properly in love with his music while watching the man perform.
A week later, when the year changed to another, they were unaware of the rockets outside or the passing time because they were finally making love for the first time. The next Valentine’s Day they decided to move in together. (Magnus announced that he was done with Marshmallow and Chairman crying after Alec whenever the man was away so they told everyone that the cats made the big decision for them.) Getting used to living together and sharing the space certainly didn’t come easily, or quietly. But they nonetheless agreed that it was one of the best decisions they’d ever made. By the following summer Alec was studying to become a veterinarian and happier than ever in his life.
On the next Christmas Day they woke up in the same bed, with two of their three cats snuggled close and one sulking on the floor. And smiled at each other like the lovesick idiots they probably were. “Merry Christmas”, Alec whispered.
“A Merry Christmas it will be”, Magnus purred into the sleepy kiss they exchanged.
For them both the best possible Christmas gift was right there next to them, of course. But there were several more wrapped ones hidden in the apartment. One of them was a small ring box Alec fetched from his mom a few days earlier.