Chapter Text
Chapter 3
The clock may have been ticking, but an outsider would never have been able to tell. Nothing was hurried, nothing was rushed, and for all intents and purposes, it was just a normal winter night spent outdoors with friends.
Sonic was surprised to discover that Maria wasn’t the only one who had never ice skated before, though Shadow had been loath to admit it. The crimson-striped hedgehog preferred to spend his time fumbling about the lake with arms flapping and curses flowing than asking for help. Sonic felt the urge to tease and taunt, but just this once, he decided he would let it go. For a little while anyway.
He wasn’t perfect.
Instead he opted to gently pull Maria around in circles and figure eights while she laughed and squealed when he dared to go a little faster. Her blue eyes were bright with joy and exhilaration, her light blonde locks whipping behind her in the wind they created.
She was the epitome of happiness and Sonic couldn’t help but share in her delight.
He slowed as they came up to pass a blundering Shadow for the umpteenth time, and he felt something warm and solid build in his chest. The way the hedgehog continued to push on, obstinately refusing to ask for help, was… endearing. He looked back at Maria, his breath seizing when he realized she’d been watching him. Did… did she know what he’d just been thinking?
The girl let go of his hands as they stopped and gestured toward the bank. “I think I’ll rest for a few minutes.”
Shadow struggled to turn around at her words, his body jerking and bending back and forth like a dancing balloon man in front of a fire sale. Sonic couldn’t smother a short laugh, but Shadow was too busy trying to stay upright to snap at him.
Sonic easily skated over the short distance and reached for Shadow’s elbows as he widened and braced his own stance. “Easy, Shads. I got you,” he said, as Shadow's hands closed around his forearms, his weight pushing down on Sonic’s arms as his form stabilized.
Crimson eyes looked up and just like that, Sonic was taken in, caught like a fly in a web. He was once again frozen, pulled in, mesmerized and wondering despite himself if Shadow’s lips were as soft as they looked. They were so close, their clouded breaths meeting and merging, almost drawing them in and closer—
But then the moment was over.
Shadow dropped his grip on Sonic’s arms and shook himself slightly before his eyes found Maria. The young human wore an expression he couldn’t quite discern. Her features were soft, her smile warm, but there was something there he was convinced was at least a little sad. He frowned, worried. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Shadow,” she responded cheerfully. “I want to watch you skate.”
The hybrid glanced down in embarrassment. “I’d rather you not. Besides, we only have a little time left and–”
“Sonic, will you pull Shadow around like you did me so he can see how much fun it is?”
“Uhh….”
“Absolutely not!” Shadow barked, his emphatic tone causing him to wobble and all but fall into Sonic’s arms. He immediately stiffened, face burning red, all while Maria giggled from the shoreline like they were two members of the three stooges participating in slapstick entertainment by choice. He pushed away from the delicious-smelling hedgehog, the other’s coat rustling with all the movement.
“Oh please, Shadow?” Maria pleaded. Her eyes widened and her bottom lip poked out in a slight pout, an expression she knew would pierce right through Shadow’s stubborn pride. “I just know you’ll love it, and it would make me so happy.”
The hybrid immediately tried to look away, but it was too late. He growled under his breath and held out his hands toward Sonic. “Fine. But if you make me fall I will kill you.”
“Um, understood!” Sonic chuckled nervously. “Just, help me out and keep your lips– Shit! I mean. Legs! Keep your legs about hip width apart!”
Shadow just held his hands out more. “Get moving so this can be over!”
“Uh, yeah. Sure. Okay. Um.” Sonic gulped and awkwardly reached for Shadow’s hands, completely unable to meet the agent’s eyes. “Here we go!”
Slowly, steadily, gaze trained on Shadow’s legs and feet at first, Sonic pulled them out across the lake, gliding with just enough speed to gently disturb red and black quills. “Are you cold?” Sonic asked. “You could have my scarf, or, you know, my coat. Whatever.”
Shadow was tense, his focus on keeping his balance, but he still had the bandwidth left to scoff at the hero’s offer. “Tch. As if I could ever succumb to something as basic as low body temperature.”
“Well, excuse me for being concerned about your welfare.”
“Don’t be.”
“Well I am, whether you like it or not.”
Shadow opened his mouth to argue, but shut it when Sonic began to speed up. “What are you doing?” he asked anxiously.
“Trust me?”
“No.”
“Shadow,” Sonic said softly, finally meeting crimson eyes again. The wind rushed by with more force, pushing blue quills forward. “Trust me.”
Shadow hesitated, but he could already feel something within himself lightening the faster they went. “Okay,” he whispered.
Sonic’s grin was instant and blinding. “Don’t let go.”
Without further warning, Sonic used muscles honed from running thousands of miles a week to push against the ice and send them flying at speeds a normal Mobian wouldn’t have a chance of surviving.
But not them. They were different. Special, unique, strange, it didn’t matter what you called it because just then, as Shadow’s face broke into the widest smile Sonic swore he’d ever seen, they were the same. Equal outliers.
From a cushion of snow Maria watched her best friend shine like she’d always hoped he would. She could have been blind and still have known that Shadow was happy. She could hear it in the rare sound of his laughter that she’d missed so much.
She watched the two hedgehogs go round and round in blurs of black and blue and billows of yells, whoops, and laughter and smiled. It was so obvious the two were head over heels in love with each other and both fighting it just as hard as they fought the bad guys. Perhaps even harder.
Maybe that was why she was here. But, she supposed, it didn’t really matter. She’d be damned if she left the world again without Shadow knowing how loved he was. She turned her head toward the east, trepidation filling her. The sky was still dark, the stars still twinkling overhead, but dawn was approaching and so was her final goodbye.
Rising from her chosen spot of snow, she hobbled over to where her flats waited and began unlacing her ice skates.
Shadow sensed rather than saw her movement and squeezed Sonic’s hands to get his attention. “We should get back to Maria.”
Sonic nodded, heart sinking for multiple reasons, but said nothing. He pulled them back to the edge of the lake where Maria already stood waiting with their shoes in hand. She handed each their pair and then waited patiently while they changed. The air hung heavy with dread and for the first time since meeting, the three were noticeably quiet. They all knew what was coming.
“Sonic?” Maria asked, waving him over from where she stood a handful of feet away. Shadow started to follow, but Maria shook her head. “I’ll be right there. This will just take a moment.”
Shadow looked surprised and a little confused, but remained still. Maria eyed him sternly. “I know you can still hear from over there,” she chided.
The dark hedgehog crossed his arms in annoyance, but began to walk in the other direction.
Maria turned toward Sonic and reached for his hands. “I’m so happy I got to meet you, Sonic the Hedgehog.”
“Likewise. It’s easy to see why you mean so much to Shadow and why losing you was so hard.”
“But he has you, doesn’t he?”
Sonic smiled and shrugged casually. “Sure he does!”
Maria sank down to her knees, her gaze flicking down to their joined hands before meeting emerald eyes again. “Don’t give up on him.”
“I couldn’t if I wanted to,” Sonic replied softly.
“You love him, don’t you?”
Sonic quickly swallowed and looked away, cheeks burning. “I, uh… I try not to think about it, but, yeah,” he admitted, his own eyes wide as he actually allowed himself to let that phrase fully form in his mind. “I love him.”
Maria leaned forward and pressed her forehead to Sonic’s, eyes falling shut. “I could tell,” she whispered. “And, I know it’s hard, especially for the likes of you, but go slow. Be steady. Know there will be setbacks and moments where it seems like he doesn’t care, but underneath that tough guy exterior is a heart that is capable of love so strong and pure that it can be felt from beyond the grave.”
Sonic nodded gently before kissing her cheek. “I’ll take care of him.”
She gave his hands one last squeeze and stood. “You better. Or I’ll come back and bake you a cake.”
Sonic snorted and watched Maria turn and wave toward Shadow.
Maybe he should leave, let them say goodbye and give Shadow space to process, but… that didn’t feel right. Not after the past several hours. Not after the conversations he’d shared with Maria.
Instead, he zipped his coat up a little further and settled down into the snow to wait.
“There,” Maria called out. “That didn’t take too long did it?”
Shadow let his arms fall to his sides and turned toward Maria’s voice, finding her silhouette up a small embankment. “What did you talk about?” he asked as he climbed.
“You know. The weather mostly.”
That earned another short laugh from Shadow and she let it sink and settle into her memory like savoring a favorite food. “I’m going to miss that sound and I have a feeling you’re going to be laughing a lot more than you used to.”
“I doubt that.”
Maria sat as he topped the hill and patted the snow next to her. Shadow sat as beckoned and reached into his quills for the gift he never got the chance to give. He handed her the golden bracelet. “I made that for you just before the attack. I never imagined I’d have the chance to give it to you.”
“You carried it with you all this time?”
“Yes.”
Maria admired the shining metal and ran her thumb over the engraving with a smile. “M&S - Forever and More, huh?”
“It’s a little cheesy.”
“It’s not. It’s perfect,” Maria said, wiping a tear from her eye. “I would have worn it everyday. Just like you.” She slipped the golden circle onto her wrist and admired it. “I love it, Shadow.”
Shadow smiled at the sight, a brief sense of peace settling over him at the resolution of unfinished business. Maria scooted closer to him and pressed herself into his side. “Will you watch the sunrise with me?”
Shadow leaned into her affection. “I’d rather prevent the world from ever seeing another sunrise if it meant you could stay.”
Maria sighed, eyes trained to the east where a glow of light blue had appeared. “You don’t mean that.”
“You know I do. I’d do anything to have you here, to undo what happened.”
Maria reached her hand under Shadow’s arm and laced their fingers. “I need you to know something, Shadow, and to really hear me.” She turned to face him, making sure she had his full attention. “My death was not your fault. I chose to save you. I wanted to save you. You’re my best friend. You’re like a brother to me, and I see so much good in you, Shadow. I see everything that you fail to see yourself. You think you’re a failure, because Grandpa created you to save me and I’m dead, but don’t you see? You did save me. All those years I spent alone, hurting, not able to be a kid on earth, or a kid on the ARK and then you came along and suddenly, I wasn’t alone anymore.”
Maria paused and squeezed his hand for emphasis. “You made me feel like I belonged, like you and I were our own little family. Apart from everything and everyone else, but we had each other. You think you didn’t save me because my physical body died, but Shadow, I’m telling you, you saved me the day you came into existence and every single day after.”
Shadow bit his lip, tasting blood as he tried to stop the tears that welled in his eyes, but Maria pointed her finger at him adamantly. “Don’t you do that. Don’t hide your feelings. Feel them. You want to know why you hurt so bad sometimes? It’s because your heart is so big. You are full of love. More so than any person I’ve ever met, except for maybe that guy over there,” she said, jerking her head toward Sonic who lay making snow angels in the distance.
Shadow twisted his head to follow her gaze and shook his head. Moron.
“You know he’s in love with you.”
Shadow whipped back around, nearly falling backwards in the snow. “What?!”
“It’s obvious!”
“It is not!”
“Shadow, for goodness sake, do you not see the way he looks at you?”
Shadow rolled his eyes. “That’s just his idiot face! He looks at everyone like that!”
“What color coat is he wearing?”
“Black?”
Maria nodded. “And what color scarf?”
“Red. But, what does that–?”
“And what color is your fur Shadow?”
Shadow felt his face burn, his heart picking up speed. “That doesn’t mean anything!”
“If you want it to, it could mean everything.”
Shadow swallowed hard, flustered and nearly trembling from… something. Not love. Or attraction. Or, anything like that. It had to be anger.
Probably.
Across the lake the sky was growing in brightness, orange and hot pink heralding the coming sun. Maria took both of Shadow’s hands and held them tightly. “There are people who want you in their life. They’re knocking, you just gotta open the door.”
Shadow looked down, tears beginning to stream down his face. “But it hurts,” he choked out.
Maria released Shadow’s hands to brush away his tears. “I know it does. But would you rather have never known me?”
“No!” came Shadow’s immediate reply. “I’d never give up a second of our time together.”
“It could be like that again. With someone else. If you want it.”
“I….”
“I see how you look at him and I see how he looks at you. I saw it five seconds in. You deserve love, Shadow. You deserve all the things you gave me. Don’t deny yourself that.”
Maria twisted around so that she could rest her head on Shadow’s shoulder. She closed her eyes to the brightening sky and the minutes, if not seconds she had remaining. She nuzzled her head against her best friend’s soft fur and breathed in his comforting scent. “I love you,” she whispered. "Forever and more."
Shadow pressed his face into her blonde hair. “Please don’t go,” he cried.
“You never know,” she mumbled, feeling her physical ties to the earth weakening. “Maybe miracles can happen more than once.”
Shadow let out a half laugh through a sob and pulled Maria closer until…. There was nothing to pull.
“Open your heart, Shadow,” her spirit whispered, the sound airy and fading.
Shadow jumped up, looking everywhere, desperately seeking Maria’s form, be it physical or ghost, anything. “I love you, too,” he called out, his eyes finding nothing but trees and snow. “I love you, too,” he whispered, body sagging under the weight of alone.
“Hey.”
Shadow flicked an ear back, but didn’t turn around. “Go away,” he snapped, voice still thick with emotion.
“No.”
Shadow was snarling in his face a second later. “I said leave me the fuck alone!”
Sonic gritted his teeth and gave no ground. “And I said no! I’m not leaving you! Not until I make sure you’re okay. You can yell at me all you want, push me away, punch me if it makes you feel better, but I’m not going anywhere!”
“Why?!” Shadow half sobbed. “Why? Why would you bother, when I give you no reason? I insult you, I fight you, I do everything I can to get you to leave me alone and yet you’re still here. Why?”
Sonic’s shoulders drooped in exasperation, a tired half smile forming on his face. “Because you idiot, for some reason, my stupid-ass heart chose you.”
“W-what?”
“I’m in love with you. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, so long as you know that I care about you and I’m not leaving you out here like this alone.”
Shadow’s mouth hung open in shock. “You love me?”
Sonic lifted his eyebrows and pursed his lips, hands burrowing into the pockets of his jacket. “Yuuuup.”
Shadow followed the movement, gaze falling on the shiny black fabric and then to the red scarf wrapped around his rival’s neck, remembering what Maria had said. Her words… For the first time since Maria’s death he felt something within himself change course, like a compass whose true north had moved. It was like maybe this whole time, he’d been walking backwards, running into things and sometimes missing them completely, all because he hadn’t been looking.
“We could talk, if you want, or just watch the sunrise? Or you could come help me make breakfast for Tails? Or you could–”
Shadow took two very large steps forward, entering Sonic’s personal space so quickly the hedgehog didn’t have a chance to react. He stopped, just a breath away from Sonic’s lips. “Stop talking.”
Even through the mess of tears on his face Shadow smiled softly and pressed his lips to Sonic’s in a gentle kiss that made Shadow's heart soar and his stomach flutter. As the sphere of yellow rose from the horizon, Shadow felt himself loosen his hold on the past, exchanging it for the present.
Which was very nice indeed.