Chapter Text
Luz had woken up instantly upon hearing Amity hit the floor. Her heart jolted and she was up, her first thought was panicking about if she was hurt.
She looked down to see her looking embarrassed but uninjured. She smiled, filled with relief and the happiness of waking up with her still there. She was worried that she would have bolt as soon as she woke up after… last night.
She pushed the thought aside, not wanting to think about it yet. Letting herself enjoy the euphoric feeling for just a tiny bit longer before the logical part of her kicked in.
She hesitated for a second, then, just to test the waters, she used the nickname she had always wanted to use.
“What’re you doing down there Ams?”
Her face flushed; it was adorable.
“Um. Well. I…”
She really seemed flustered, feeling bad, she decided to give her an out.
“Did you fall?”
“YES. Yep, yep. I tried to sit up and then fell. That’s exactly what happened, mhm!”
GOD she was cute. She couldn’t take it.
She stretched out her arm to help her up.
“M’lady!”
She helped her up. She was so light. She had to make her eat more. If her mom had taught her anything, it’s to force-feed everyone around her.
Her hand was surprisingly hot. Do witches have higher body temperatures? She thought she remembered reading something like that, but she wasn’t sure. It’d make sense. She was so warm last night… But there’s always a possibility of something more and she would hate for Amity to be sick.
“Are you alright?”
“Um, What?”
“You’re all red, do you feel sick?”
She flushed even deeper and brushed her hair aside so it would cover her face. She flapped her hands in front of her chest a little. Luz recognized it as a nervous stim.
“Oh yes, yeah, yep. I’m fine, all good. Just you know, woke up suddenly, embarrassed at falling. You know it’s the weirdest thing! Training all these years and still no balance! Falling out of beds, that’s ridiculous haha! You’d think I’d learn. Not that your bed is an issue! It’s extremely comfortable. Yep, as far as beds go, this is a good one!”
She was rambling, fidgeting in her spot the whole time. She looked so nervous. She wanted to give her a hug, tell her she had nothing to be nervous about and that Luz wasn’t mad.
“…Alrighty then, Wanna go get breakfast?”
She looked relieved at the subject change.
“Yeah sure, let me get dressed.”
She heard the bathroom door shut and turned to make the bed, thinking about what to make for breakfast. Amity had told her that she missed breakfast a lot because she was so busy, so every time she was here, she made sure to get her to settle down and stay in one spot long enough to eat something. She decided on something she knew they both liked, griffin eggs, put the pillows back into their place, and turned to go downstairs.
She had always been an incredibly nosy person, so she automatically turned to the bathroom door when she heard someone talking.
“…. Luz is your friend. You are Luz’s friend. That’s all. You got that off your chest, now you need to move on.”
She froze. On one hand, the beginning of the sentence said friends. But would she had used the term “getting it off her chest” if she didn’t mean it? She stood there, confused. All she wanted was to love and be loved by that extraordinary girl. But nevertheless, she felt guilty for listening to her conversation. Again. This time though, she forced herself to mind her business.
“Amity? Are you talking to someone?”
She heard her sharply inhale and then silence.
“Sorry, just talking to myself! I’ll be out in a sec.”
“Alright, I’ll be downstairs! How do you like your griffin eggs?”
“Oh, you don’t have to bother- Don’t go out of your way for me!”
It was becoming more and more clear that Amity saw herself as a burden. Someone that didn’t deserve being taken care of. She knew her parents had something to do with this. But she deserved so much. Luz couldn’t do much about her parents just yet, but she could at the very least make sure Amity eats.
“Nope, none of that! You‘re gonna eat and take care of yourself whether you want to or not! Is scrambled good?”
She was worried that she overstepped, but she heard the smile and appreciation in her reply.
“Yeah…. Scrambled is good.”
“I’m gonna make some coffee too.”
“Is coffee really a good idea for you?”
She cringed hard, knowing that Amity was the only person who saw her that one time she drank 6 cups of coffee during a study session for midterms. She was bouncing off the walls, and she meant literally. That was the day that they had been working on jumping spells.
“Nope! See you downstairs!”
She bounded down the stairs. She didn’t get why people complained so much, she absolutely loved mornings. She was just so happy for another day at the boiling isles, and especially knowing she was near Amity, who always made her day a hundred times over.
She walked with a skip in her step, which retrospectively was a bad idea as she missed the last stair. She fell directly forward and landed hard on her knees.
She did this nearly every morning, so she laughed at her own clumsiness, brushed herself off, and got the eggs out of the fridge.
She stared at them for a second. How did she crack eggs again? Eda didn’t trust her to make stuff on the stove anymore (which was totally unfair. She only started a fire ONCE.), and her mom had always made breakfast back on earth. She remembered watching both of them crack them by tapping them against something.
She tapped it against the counter once. She heard a crack but it still didn’t break. So she decided to tap it again harder. However, in that moment, she slipped forward for a second and ended up smashing the egg against the counter by accident, the entire thing squished on her hand. It was everywhere, an absolute mess. It’s a good thing Amity didn’t watch her screw it up. That would be embarrass-
“Need help?” Amity said.
Oh no
“Oh- Hi! No, I got this all under control!” She gestured around to show her how absolutely in control of her own kitchen she was, and a splash of egg fell into the pan. She realized as the room filled with smoke that the pan was WAY too hot.
Amity raised an eyebrow, not convinced.
“Fine, a little assistance would be great.”
She smiled and walked over. Her heart skipped.
It’s just Amity, calm down. She told her heart.
Her heart health did NOT improve when Amity laughed and stared right at her. They made eye contact and they both flushed and then looked away, pretended they didn’t.
“Well, you’re in luck! I’m the best at cracking eggs in the entire Boiling Isles.”
“Oh, so we got an expert in here. This is JUST like Master Chef.”
“What’s that?”
“Oh right! You guys don’t have Gordon Ramsey here. I got to show you it later!”
The idea was SO exciting. Her and her mom had been watching it since she was little, laughing at the Chef’s strict rules and the contestants’ mistakes. She couldn’t wait to show Amity. She hopped up and down in excitement and did a little clap, succeeding in flinging egg around the room yet again.
Amity smiled again and slipped behind her, putting her hands on her waist from behind to steady her. She sent a quick thanks to Titan that Amity was behind her and couldn’t see her face, neck turn bright red.
“Here give me your hands.”
Luz had never been good at understanding social cues and knowing what others meant in instructions, so she plopped both of her hands into Amity’s. The other girl looked shocked but couldn’t hide her smile. Amity’s cheeks were pink and everywhere their hands touched felt electric. Luz wasn’t one to feel unjustly nervous, but she squirmed, the tension was palpable. Amity looked up from her eyes to her lips, once, twice, and so she took the risk and leaned in.
She lingered between them for a few seconds, giving her plenty of time to pull away. But Amity met her in the middle and their lips were pressed up together.
She never realized how much she wanted this. All that mattered was Amity. All she could touch, smell, and taste was Amity. At that moment, all doubt from her mind was gone. She truly loved the other girl. She-
Amity pushed away.
There were tears in her eyes and her expression looked one of… Pain? Guilt?
“What was that???”
Her heart stopped. Oh god, she misread the signals. She had made a huge mistake; she had ruined EVERYTHING. The absolute worst of all; she seemed to had hurt Amity.
“I- Amity I’m so so sorry. I just- you were- I thought-“ She stammered, trying to organize her thoughts.
“You thought WHAT, Luz???”
“I heard what you said last night, and I thought you- “
Her eyes widened and her face was red, this time in anger but… It didn’t feel directed at her?
“I can’t do this. It’s not fair for you. I’m leaving.”
“Amity, wait!” She caught her hand. “Amity, I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re the one I want. I lov-“
Amity’s hands shook. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She stared into Luz’s eyes. She hesitated like she wanted to stay. Luz wanted her to stay. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to explain how this was her fault, how she was sorry. She was so deeply sorry.
She pulled her hand away again.
“LET ME GO”
She turned, flung the door open, and ran out.
She could still feel griffin egg dripping down her fingers.
How could she have done this? She should’ve known. Amity deserved the world in a way that Luz could never provide. She was selfish, letting her own feelings get in the way of reality. And she hurt Amity in the process.
She was definitely crying now. She could never forgive herself for this. She reached to wipe the tear off her cheek, getting egg all over herself.
Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
She leaned up against the cabinet. Did she misunderstand? Luz didn’t understand most social situations, but Amity had said explicitly that she loved her...
Her heart fell as she remembered all the times she was asked out as a “joke” back on earth. But she didn’t think that Amity would ever do that. The Amity she knew was kind and cared about her friends. And it made no sense, she knew she was sleeping at the time so why would she go that far for a sick prank? And what had she meant by “not fair” to Luz? If anything, it wasn’t fair to Amity. But why was she so concerned about her?
She thought back at all she knew about the other girl. Their entire relationship. At this point, she was more tormenting herself with happy memories rather than working through her thoughts, drowning in regret and self-pity.
She had sounded so confident that night…
But… Wait that wasn’t right. She remembered the other girl’s voice breaking as she spoke about fearing HER not being enough for LUZ. It was a ridiculous statement to her, but did she genuinely believe that? Could that be why she pushed her away?
She pictured Amity, scared and alone. Feeling like she wasn’t worth it when she was worth SO MUCH.
It had started to rain, thankfully normal water, but it was still raining, Amity didn’t have a coat, and they were nowhere near the Blight mansion.
She stood. Even if Amity hated her after this, she couldn’t allow her to go through her life thinking all those bad things about herself. She couldn’t leave her alone thinking that in the pouring rain. She stood. She had to find her.