Chapter Text
With his body stretched out on the green lawn, the air that cold night blew through the trees.
Feeling the tall grass in his hair and face-hugging him Mono cursed those days to come.
The grip tightened around him trying to tear in vain some grass, despite the now mental age from the continuously repeated passage of time that was remembered, in his body he was still a child.
The static noise of the television behind him rang in his ears increasing the irritation, the throbbing temples and the narrow throat as from an invisible external body made it impossible to get oxygen into the lungs.
His eyes filled with cold salty tears that ran down his face, hands tried in vain to hide the evidence of emotions and his mouth, barely closed, let go of the thoughts that had tormented him for years:
"Why? Why me ..."
sobs, screams, moans, kicks in the air ... he tried to let it all go before falling tired to the ground.
He lay there for a long time, his body felt too heavy at that moment but inevitably he had to get up to start again what would have been yet another betrayal.
He didn't know when he remembered or how long he had been doing this, but each time he fell back into the same love trap...yet Six was anything but lovely. Her coldness and her detachment must have been like red flags in his mind but they never were and he had to pay the price each time for such hope of change.
"Enough this time ... this time I will have no mercy. I will have no mercy in showing my anger, my pain to the one who has abandoned me all these times ... and for what reason? I saved her a thousand times, without me she would have died long ago, and this is my reward? What ... what did I do wrong, damn it!"
Shaking quickly his hands or clapping them together to lessen the fervor, the fierce tone rang out in the silent night, and together with it the heavy footsteps crushed every life under his bare feet (he also crushed some snail, when he realized it he apologized and continued his lament).
The sound of the music box woke him from the inner chaos with the ax already in both the plump hands and also...without the hat.
Making the weapon fall noisily and unconsciously to the ground, he looked in his pockets for the paper bag always carried, and as soon as his hand touched it a sigh of relief escaped from his lips.
He was about to put it on but his mind suggested something else.
Obviously, he could not go without a hat, the mere presence of something that covered at least his spacious forehead given to the short shaved hair already gave a little comfort.
He went up the steps of the staircase again but this time aware of his footsteps, his clear mind approached a room rarely visited and as soon as he reached it he bent to the ground to take his hat never worn, a hat with raccoon fur.
In the past loops, he never wanted to take it or wear it given nature with which it was made, but he promised himself in the latter that he would change in every sense.
He did not know if he was doing it to go against himself, the fate or that figure or again the love, affection towards Six so desired, the desire to change his opinion on what will always be, despite what happens and what will happen, his favorite person.
Lowering his hat to not to show his dark eyes, he went down again, hearing the sweet and annoying sound of the music box in his mind.
"It's its fault that our friendship is over...if she betrayed me, if..." he took up the abandoned ax and threw it repeatedly, violently at the door.
When he walked in he saw her under the huge furniture, shaking like a leaf, he stood there staring.
He felt like in a cartoon, with a devil and an angel on either side of his shoulders advising him on what to do.
"Act as usual, maybe we have to show her more affection in the future, we should give her more hugs or hold her hand more, or-"
"But haven't we already done all these things? And yet here we are again" the little devil interrupts abruptly.
"We have to punch her and make her feel on skin what we have felt in our soul all these years, maybe she will respect us more"
"No wait, this is not fair at all. She's a girl! What have our parents taught us? Women shouldn't even be touched with a flower-"
But, for the first time in all that time, Mono did not want to hear his angel, the voice of reason, his mind but rather an instinct, his guts.
Six didn't even have time to get out from under the furniture as Mono violently grabbed her by the cardigan, his fist outstretched close to colliding with the girl's dirty face.
The bangs shifted revealing Six's frightened expression, her eyes almost closed waiting for punishment.
The moon watched and illuminated the whole scene, probably also aware of the pain of both children.
"WHY DID YOU DO IT ?! AFTER ALL MY SACRIFICES. AFTER EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE FOR YOU THIS IS THE WAY YOU PAY ME BACK?"
Without even noticing, his sight again became clouded by the tears brought by confused feelings, the sadness confused with anger, and his words of hatred and forgiveness echoed in his mind so much that he did not realize that Six too was crying.
Faced with these words the child was blocked and her the only way to react was also to cry because she too remembered their past and future.
In her mind, she was aware that if Mono ever threw that punch she deserved it, in all that past time spent away from him and she too became what she was afraid of, brought her countless other ways of self-destruction. What during their first meeting, the bites on her arms, were already seen as bad, the future (or past) warned her of what bodily destruction actually is.
But she was afraid of him, she was so afraid that her words remained in her throat, she wanted to apologize for her behavior and explain why she did all that harm but what came out was:
"Who ... who are you?"
"What?"
The little girl did her best not to let too much leak out, thus shifting her fringe that darkened her eyes again.
Mono stood still, petrified as if he never expected it, disappointed in his memory.
Why did he remember but she didn't?
The question kept him in such a position not long enough to provoke a possible bad reaction from Six, and as he recovered from the brief confusion, his mind still studded with questions, he slowly loosened his grip on Six's garment letting her go.
"I'm sorry ... hi, I'm Mon-"
but as soon as he said his name the young girl ran up the ladder and collided with him as in the past, making him fall on the hard cold floor.
He looked surprised at the smashed door she walked through before letting out another lament.
"Here she is. She will never change."
Taking his hat in his hands he tried to make up his mind by taking up some time in the meantime.
The meeting just made with the one who abandoned him did not leave or calm the soul of the young child, far from it, his mind was drowned in words and thoughts, explanations, and theories on why Six could not remember him.
He was very bitter as soon as he felt those words come out between her crooked missing teeth, even more, betrayed given their relationship and what he put him through all that time.
He slowly got up from the ground, put his hat on his head and before chasing the traitor, his gaze fell on the music box but this time he didn't need to hear the thesis of conscience or instinct.
He kicked it hard enough to send it against the wall.
Yet not satisfied, he continued until he could be sure of the complete non-use of the now damaged toy (and also the bare feet, especially the toes, began to hurt from the
continuous kicks).
While on the upper floor set in the outer corner of the corridor, Six also tried to calm down.
The trembling hands sought a way to cool down but to no avail, after more than one life dedicated to pity and guilt she never actually found a particularly healthy coping mechanism.
Fear, regret coursed through her veins and traveled through her mind, thoughts so strong that she didn't notice the sound of Mono's footsteps on the steps.
In the dining room, the graceless image of a family ruined by evilness.
She never knew them as when she was kidnapped their bodies were already positioned in that room, embalmed and creepy.
Yet she ... she really wanted to know them.
When the Hunter clattered down the ladder took Six for their usual hunt he often indulged in carefree memories of his family and how it used to be.
The time until then with the Hunter turned out to be better than the other times, so much so that he started talking to her for the first time.
She became more docile this time, so much that during her imprisonment she reserved for the Hunter an unthinkable affection for someone who had kidnapped her...he was now a sort of parental figure, so running away from him this time became harder than she originally thought.
Hidden, like the previous times, it was Six who unconsciously reached out his hand to want to take Mono's, panting, tired and with too many questions in his mind to answer.
"Hey ..."
the little girl called in a low voice to bring him back to consciousness.
"Oh, emh ..."
He looked at the dirty hand held out in front of him, and hesitated, was it really the right thing to do?
His eyes seemed to become heavier and heavier than usual and a strong pain took the whole body remembering the same hand extended waiting for the help of his friend when she was found and kidnapped by the Thin Man.
A squeeze in the heart in contrast to the bitter taste in the mouth that even if started all over again she would have betrayed him anyway because even if remembering that first real moment of loss Mono was not able to blame himself.
The still outstretched hand was then slapped away and he walked alone towards the tall grass leaving alone the child behind.
He did not even wait for her in the actions to come, they stayed away from their eyes and above all from their hands, the air became even heavier than it already had to be for the chase.
When they reached the bridge they both stopped, petrified in front of the short void immediately followed by the path.
Memories of the last moment together were repeated in the minds of the two children at the same time, and if one hand Mono was increasingly afraid of falling back because of the child next to him, Six was afraid of what he would do to her but also of what she would do to both of them in a moment of further panic.
Mono slowly raised the broken bridge and the moment Six had to jump he lowered it violently making her barely cling to the other bridge.
"What!- Why the fuck did you do that ?!"
"I see you continue to use those words even though I have always told you that I never liked them"
"I don't know you!"
"YOU! YOU KNOW ME" shouted the child, the distance caused him to raise his voice, but these were louder than the others "AND I KNOW YOU TOO...or so I thought before being betrayed...I have...I have waited for you, I have always thought
'don't worry Mono, now she'll come back...she will...she will understand her mistake'
but...this was never the case, it never happened...you never came and I...I can't forgive you for this."
he tried to hold back the tears, the knuckles of his hands turning white as he held his fists tight.
"Listen, I ... Mono, I-"
They did not notice the passing of time, they forgot everything...until the Hunter tried to kill Mono, but missing him.
"Jump!"
Six yelled, her hand already out to be taken by him.
Mono hesitated at first until he heard another shot from the Hunter, this time he caught him almost close to his foot and then jumped.
He kept his eyes closed tight during the jump, already preparing for a possible fall... but that didn't happen because she caught him, she didn't let him go this time.
She lifted him and took him by the hand as they ran away.
Mono was incredulous at this action, even if in the past loops he always took it and they continued the escape this time it was different.
The Hunter nearly killed him and when this happened Six was the first to escape leaving him behind to save herself.
He continued to stare at those joined hands until they entered the shack where they had to go to separated ways.
Six immediately went to block the door with her fragile tiny body, on the other side Mono tried to take the heavy rifle as quickly as possible.
Having helped him to raise it and take aim, the Hunter without problems broke the door this time by opening the handle but was immediately stopped by the bullet straight in the head.
Silence, noisy annoyance silence dispersed into the air, creating a severe temporary headache for both of them.
Mono was the first to make his way to the white door ashore while Six stared at the dead body of the Hunter.
Her heart tightened as she looked at him, different from previous times.
Blood dripped down from the mask, the only ditch in it showed nothing, full darkness...but she noticed something on the jacket.
A breast pocket carried a photo frame, already shown to her previously by the Hunter himself.
"This is where I keep my family photos"
hoarse words rang in the child's mind.
She climbed into the cold body (although he had probably been dead for a long time already, not outside but inside, the worst death that could ever exist and Six knew of it from experience) and took it with great difficulty.
She leafed through it at that moment, finally seeing the unshaved faces and bodies of the family at the table.
The photo frame brought back a few images, two or three for each family member and then when she reached the limit she thought that the last part of the photo frame was dedicated to the Hunter himself...but it was not so.
The federina was still empty but with a writing at the bottom that had to presage the person, or being, to whom the page was dedicated.
Only one number could be read, "6".
She stared at the writing in disbelief, then looked back at his lifeless body again.
She never wanted to say or think, yet she felt it in her heart that she hoped it still contained some childish happiness.
And with tears in her eyes and a low voice she repeated out what she would never have imagined in the past:
"I love you dad"
The sound of the sea beside Mono kept him company as he waited for the little girl who came back with slow steps with eyes still red.
She did not speak, as was her custom, and pushed the door with Mono so that she could touch the water and set off on their journey.
As soon as they got on, Mono didn't wait twice to tell her the thoughts that started since he met Six in this loop.
"You remember the other loops like me ... right?"
"...kinda."