Chapter Text
Your mom helps you into the car. A fresh layer of clean, white snow separates you from the vehicle, an obstacle much more challenging than perceived. You’d been in the hospital almost a week, resulting in a good outcome as stated by the staff. You weren’t really convinced of that, as a foot of snow might as well have been a mountain.
You’re leaving with a lot more than you had come with, including Flowey. The fact you had acquired a new appendage essentially overnight wasn’t lost on anyone, but no one really wanted to ask about it.
You mom places a worn, brown duffle that she dug up from who-knows-where in your family’s house in the back seat as you tentatively climb into the passenger side managing to bang your arm against the side despite your efforts. Just your luck, really.
“So, he’s a permanent fixture I’m guessing?” Your mom pulls herself into the driver’s side, eyeing Flowey. He shifts uncomfortably, so that he faces the window. You figured if anyone would eventually ask it would be your mom.
You mumble in agreement. Earlier in the week when your parents pressed you for what happened in the Underground, they just barely managed to respect that you didn’t want to talk about it. With the same limited information you’d given at the hospital, you’d figure ‘psychotic break’ was as good of a reason as any. You could see they felt somewhat betrayed by your silence but you didn’t see any other way as thing were right now. You’d probably have to tell them eventually all things considered. But how could you even explain it?
“Are you feeling well enough to go back to school?”
You nod. “School should be fine.” Social life? Being friends with people again? Figuring out how to be a person at all? Probably not. But academics would be alright.
“You sure? You haven’t really seemed like yourself sweetheart. I know this must have been hard but still.” You mom nervously raps her fingers on the steering wheel. You glance down at Flowey, who’s taken on an uncharacteristic silent mood. She’s not wrong, an obvious thing to you. You wonder who else might notice.
Of course you learned that it might be a rough transition from Aria while in the hospital. She made it a point to talk to you and Flowey about how your personality and Chara’s would eventually be forced to merge into one entity. Even though your souls were ‘merged’ your minds and personalities were still somewhat separate. Aria said it was kind of a slow process at first, which is why there wasn’t a lot of change in your regular habits and actions but you felt completely different inside. Supposedly it was going to get weird…but you don’t know about that. Aria said you would feel out of control, almost like a psychosis, whatever that meant. Apparently Flowey was prepped for it.
“Chara?”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I’m just tired.” You do your best a convincing smile.
“I would say so! Being so long in the hospital. Really, now.” You mom shakes her head dramatically and continues on about how she’ll have you home during your next break to make sure you’re ‘as perfect as a peach’. Her words, not yours.
You don’t realize how nervous you are when your mom pulls up to your apartment building. Interacting with your parents was one thing, but your roommates would be a very different situation. They knew something had been up all this time. You figured they would never guess what though.
“And you sure you don’t want to come home?” You mom makes a last ditch effort, but somehow giving up on this school year seemed like it would have meant you really did let all of this get the better of you.
“You don’t have to worry so much. I’ll be alright.” You jostle the bag and Flowey around, hearing him cuss under his breath when he goes almost horizontal. What can you do? Your arm and ribs are still broken, after all.
After finally getting your mom to go home, you turn your attention to your apartment. “Just don’t drop me.” Flowey huffs.
“Don’t be such a crybaby. You’re fine.” You roll your eyes. It was a long time coming for you and Flowey to be in each other’s presence. You tried to explain what happened before you arrived in the Underground as he tried to give you clearer view of the past, but it was a failed attempt each time. It was still just too strange. The only rule you had managed to actually establish with this situation was that as he is now, Flowey will be called Flowey.
The outburst in the hospital after you called him Asriel anyways was bad enough.
“Anyways,” Flowey wags his head back and forth. “Are you going to tell your roommates about everything? You still didn’t say so. Also, do I really need to remember who’s who?”
“Yes, you need to remember. We are working on being good, right?” You drop your bag at the top of stairs to take a break.
“Who would have thought we’d both be the epitome of evil in the Underground, huh? And that you’d drag yourself into it. Does that make sense? Mom and dad sure are going to proud of us.” Flowey injects sarcasm into as many words as he sees fit. But you’re more worried about that whole, mom and dad bit.
You didn’t meet with Toriel directly in the hospital. Because of that, it was the only time Undyne and Alphys came to visit. You were surprised to see Alphys at all, but they only had a message to pass along. You, Flowey and Aria were to meet with both her and Asgore at the end of the month to discuss what happened since the hospital was deemed an inappropriate place to have your asses chewed out.
“Why not just shout about to it everyone? How incessantly annoying.” You grumble to yourself, picking up your bag again.
“That sounds more like the Chara I know.” Flowey grins mischievously as you roll your eyes. You’re not sure about that. You’ve lost the feeling of ‘different’ Charas.
But not strange symptoms. Maybe Aria just experienced something differently than you will.
You’re unsure of what to do with yourself when you get to the front door. You had minimal contact with your roommates, mostly because you weren’t sure how to explain this situation to them. That probably made it worse in the long run, but then it seemed like fitting solution at the time.
You wondered if putting off things you didn’t want to deal with was a better solution than just making rash decisions.
Before you could get your keys out, the knob jangled and the door was slowly pulled open. Caroline’s worry-stuck face poked out from behind the crack, big eyes wet with fat tears.
“Caroline we talked about this!” You heard Dena cry, footsteps thumping from inside the apartment.
It was too late though. Caroline had already launched herself out from behind the door, sobbing about how worried she had been about you and how much everyone was afraid for you. Dena and Mercedes followed her out, trying to keep her from knocking you and Flowey over. The most that was managed was that somehow Mercedes ended up in position of Flowey and you slumped to the ground, Caroline’s arms linked around your waist.
It was really uncontrollable, the tears. You weren’t feeling particularly sad or elated, but you were crying alongside Caroline none the less. It was like there was no connection between emotion and thought. Of course, right now is when you’d get your merged personality symptomatology. You tried to explain and apologize through tears, but Flowey had to translate for you. It was apparent Flowey was stressing out Mercedes, but she managed to stay composed well enough and not hurl him over the bannister. Dena was quick to get everyone inside after that.
“Chara,” Dena didn’t turn from the door as it clicked shut. Everyone else filed around the coffee table. “I don’t really understand what’s going on. We’re really happy you’re okay and we really want to know what happened…but if you don’t want to tell us that’s okay too.”
You settled yourself onto the floor in lieu of trying to climb into an actual seat. “I think she would need to think that over.” Flowey says, leaves folded one over the other.
Dena scowls slightly. “I get you’re some kind of monster, but who are you again?”
“I’m Flowey the flower.” Flowey twitches and shrinks back a bit. “Uh, it’s a little complicated beyond that. And…I’m not really sure where I fit into all of this.” He glances over to you, but your current state is unfavorable for ultimate decision making.
But that’s never stopped you in the past. You’ve delayed enough. “I don’t think I can tell you guys effectively. I don’t think I completely understand all of it on my own.” You shiver hard, but it’s not cold. You immediately feel like you’re overheating.
Your roommates give you tentative stares. You take a deep breath. “But I’ll tell you. And I’ll tell you now, otherwise I might change my mind.”
While your roommates look relieved, Flowey grunts in protest. You shrug. Despite the increasing friction caused by the merging of your souls, you still needed to trust the people who had proven themselves already. You wondering for a second if you should have Aria help explain, but you needed to start relying on yourself for a change.
The only person besides her who could explain would have been Sans.
But you hadn’t heard from him since that first day you were stable in the hospital. Neither had Aria or Frisk. No one had.
It’s hard to find a place to start. You explain the changes in your personality, the realization you contained two souls. When questioned, Flowey chooses to extract Caroline’s soul as an example. While a harmless gesture, there was a good 20 minute uproar afterwards. For a split moment, there was a sense of normalcy but it was gone as soon as it was appeared.
Once settled, you explain the happenings in the lab, the liquid LV, the determination injections, everything. You talked about how the relationship formed because of this second soul, how between that and working with Alphys you had managed to wedge yourself into a complicated drama of the monsters and the human child from the Underground.
Dena, Mercedes, Caroline, and Flowey listen without saying anything from that point on. You can see confusion, contempt, and sadness pass over Flowey’s expressions, if only just enough for you to notice. It stings, even though you’re unsure about where the emotions are directed at. You can only grab at the few times he looked like he truly understood.
Throughout the explanation, your forced to stop due to uncontrollable crying fits, moments where your voice vanishes, or angry outbursts. You feel like you’re getting more detached from any control you once had, as you explain, a side effect of two souls becoming one. You do your best to recount the events in the Underground on your own, leaving out some less than appropriate details. Especially of the past timelines where they died. You try to explain your rationale for your choices, but there isn’t a lot. Most of it was just an intangible feeling.
It takes a long time. You don’t even bother to look at the time. But the end of your tale, all that’s left is silence.
Mercedes is the first one to move. She stands up, heading over the door. “I’m going to take a walk.” She grabs her coat and leaves without another word.
Dena sighs and follows Mercedes out. “I think,” Caroline says slowly. “I still don’t really understand everything. And that is happened right under our noses and we never knew to help.”
“I had no right to drag anyone into this, especially all of you.” You state attentively.
Caroline looks like she’s going to say something, but chooses not to.
Maybe it was just a moment. But it felt like an eternity of silence until Caroline got up and went to her room.
You place your chin on the coffee table, feeling Flowey pat your head. You feel like this is the first in a long string of broken relationships that were about to start snapping. It was a heavy feeling, but you were too exhausted to contemplate just how hard it would be to rebuild.
“If it counts for anything, you’ve got me.” It almost sounds like he’s saying it to himself rather than to you.
There was some solstice in that.
It turned out to be truer than you thought.
Your roommates slowly came about, but there was a strict tension that still existed. You could tell Mercedes and Caroline wore their blame on their sleeves, but Dena was harder to read. They did their best to act normal, but you knew they were hurt for themselves at for you. Flowey’s presence also wasn’t particularly helpful. She did say that time would be what helped everyone. You hoped she was right.
Alphys sent you a blunt email you weren’t to return to your lab assistant position until after your meeting with Asgore and Toriel. It was a harsh slap in the face, but you figure Sans or Aria must have given her the general rundown of the events in the Underground at some point and you couldn’t blame her for wanting you to stay as far away as possible.
Aria was thrust back into her classes, and while she tried to keep some type of communication, she just couldn’t. It was also incredibly hard to make conversation. It made you realize how many of your similarities were really due to this whole Underground business.
Frisk sent you a single text message about being grounded and hoped you could talk later that month. You didn’t know what to expect for that one.
Despite Flowey’s protest and a nagging feeling not to, you tried to text Sans a few times. You made no attempt to actually say anything just yet, but you never got a response. You wondered a few times about maybe trying to ask Papyrus when you saw him around on campus, but you had no right to pry.
You honestly believed there would be no salvaging that one. You weren’t sure that there was a reason to with such conflicting feelings.
The end of the month couldn’t come fast enough.