Chapter Text
“Kidnapped!”
Part Six
“Winters End”
The trip home was miserable. Kili was cold, underweight and had a hard time making a full days ride. Fili had to watch him closely for signs of exhaustion. When they did arrive at an inn he would not enter the common room and at night Fili would awaken to find him pacing the room in distress. He could never tell Fili what frightened him, he would just tuck himself into his other’s coat and refuse to talk to anyone. Hilgot still fed him every day, he wouldn’t eat and was terribly thin. Finally he took her aside.
“What happened to him?” Fili asked while Kili was sleeping. “He’s never been like this before.”
“He is still in keep,” she answered. “Everywhere is danger. Only Greylock keep little Omega safe.”
“I don’t understand! How could that murderous outcast of a dwarf been Kili’s protector?”
“Those dwarves and men at keep,” she had a very dark look upon her face. “Evil. Without Greylock they would have taken him, done evil things.”
“Then why take Kili at all?”
“Because he could.” She looked in at the sleeping form in the bed. “He could have beautiful mizimelûh, sit him in hall, so obedient. Something they could not have, none of them. Keep him like pet.”
Fili looked at his One, sleeping peacefully for now, and understood a little. Kili had chosen him, wanted him, and it was the most special thing in the world. Because I betrayed him. He walked quietly back into the room and climbed into the bed next to the Omega he loved more than life, pressing skin-to-skin. Kili sighed and nestled in. “Sleep, atamanel. I will be here when you wake.”
When they reached Ered Luin Kili slept for three days. Fili, Dis and Thorin took turns watching him in case he woke. He wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t see his old friends when they came to the house. Oin was concerned by his low body weight. “Frankly he’s never been heavy enough, in my opinion.” Fili shot him an annoyed look. “But I expected him to fill out when he reached one-hundred or so. Is he eating anything at all?”
“He ate on the road and at the inns we stayed at, but only a little,” Dis answered. “But if we tried to get a full meal down him it would all come back up.”
“He ate for his friend,” Fili put in. “She came with us from the keep. She took care of him. Her name is Hilgot.”
“Aye, she’s working in my infirmary now,” Oin answered. “I’m glad to have her. She has an uncommon way about her.”
“Maybe she could come and see him?” Dis asked. They were at a loss.
“I will send her over for supper, see what she can do.” He was scratching out a list on some rough paper. “Feed him these if you can, puts weight on a body faster. If he can’t eat a full meal just give him small food whenever he’s awake. Keep him eating until he turns around.”
When he left Dis looked over the list. Instead of wild game he wanted Kili to eat farm-raised meat and fowl, eggs, fish, flax seeds and nuts if they could get them and an assortment of garden foods. “I can do this. I can go to the butcher now and see what he has. Nuts I can get at market day, fish and fowl we can get anytime.”
Fili trudged back upstairs, trying not to make noise. Kili was lying awake, watching the door. He walked over and sat on the bed. “How are you feeling?”
Kili seemed to wrestle with that thought for awhile. Finally he whispered, “Tired.”
Fili stroked his hair. It seemed thin and brittle. “Would you like me to lay down with you?” Kili nodded and waited for Fili to disrobe and crawl in with him. Fili lay under the furs, softly stroking his other’s back and shoulders. Oin was right to be concerned. He could feel every rib and bump on his spine.
“You didn’t lock the door.”
File looked at him. “What?”
“You didn’t lock the door. You have to lock the door.”
“We’re safe here, with Mum and Thorin. No one will hurt you.” Fili caressed his cheek.
“You have to lock the door Fili.” Kili was starting to look distressed so Fili pulled out from under the furs and padded over to the door and slid the bolt home. “There, is that better?” Kili nodded and waited for him to return. Burrowing back down into his other’s chest he drifted back to sleep.
Hilgot came for the evening meal as promised. Dis gripped her shoulders in welcome. “How are you faring at the infirmary?”
“Good,” she removed her cloak. “Is good work for me. Plenty to do with stubborn old dwarf.”
Dis laughed. If anything described Oin that was it. “We need your help with Kili. He won’t eat, he only sleeps. Oin says he’s not injured or fevered but I am afraid that I may still lose my son.”
Hilgot nodded as they walked into the kitchen, keeping her voice low so her words would not carry upstairs. “He has been that way for some time. Afraid, right to be afraid, but now he cannot stop. You must feed him and talk to him.”
“Did he eat for you?” Dis felt so desperate.
“At first he was very angry, fighting hard. He tried to run away but always they catch him. Then Greylock put knife on his face and say next time he put out eyes and give Kili to his men. Then he runs no more.” She stopped as Dis lost her composure, sobbing into her hand. Gently placing her hands on Dis’ shoulders Hilgot continued. “I am sorry to tell you these things. I know it hurts to hear them, but you must know.”
Dis wiped away her tears and nodded. “You’re right. I have to know if I’m going to help him.”
“He grew sad and frightened. Thought his beautiful Alpha was dead, cried for him. I think he wanted to follow him.”
“Fili fell defending him. We thought he would die at first he was so hurt.”
“Kili stopped eating. I would sit and tell him stories, give him food. He cannot look at it or know how much he eats. Greylock would force him to eat from his plate, drink from his cup, would make him sick.”
Dis passed her hand over her eyes. “Greylock, did he…?
“No, hands only. He had his whores, Kili was not for that.”
“Then what was he for?”
“To show off. To pet. To hold. Someone to give him Omega-born sons. Something to be proud of.” Her brow wrinkled at the strange contradiction. “Very dangerous he was, but very protective of Kili. He would sit him in lap and show men and dwarves he had something they could not get. No one touch. He kill a man for touching.”
“What happened?” Dis knew several fistfights had broken out over Kili, his brother coming home proudly sporting black eyes and bloody knuckles. Usually misunderstandings ended in a hasty apology and quick retreat. Their friends broke up the fights when they didn’t. “Men from mining camp, stupid. They not know about Omega. Man called Kili a whore and put hand on him.”
Fili would have erupted if someone did that to his other. “And Greylock killed him?”
“Greylock break his shoulder with his hands, then his arm. I saw blood and bone come through skin. Greylock stomp on back, break that, too. Have guard drag him off to pit. We could hear him screaming. No one talk to Kili after that, only me.”
Dis sat down. This was too much to hear. Hilgot went on. “To Kili everything is danger. No one to protect him. He is afraid.”
Dis looked at her. “I am afraid.”
Hilgot took her hand. “I will help. We will make him better.”
Kili lay in the bed hidden down under the furs with his head on Fili’s chest. He was quiet, but Fili knew he wasn’t asleep. He would leave the bedroom door open so Kili could peer out over him and watch anyone going back and forth, hear the sound of voices speaking, the household in motion. But when that door was closed Kili insisted it be bolted tight, one of his “safety rules” as Fili started to think of them. The door must be locked. Kili must walk the floor before sleeping. He could not take food. Could not eat a full plate. Would not drink ale. Someone had to take his clothing and fold it. Would not raise his voice. Would not look anyone in the eye. Would not go outside. It made Fili’s head swim. Several times he had brought snow inside for Kili, handfuls of pure whiteness soft and fluffy or hard and crunchy. Kili loved snow and would share it with Fili but if anyone else walked in he would turn towards the wall and hide it.
The rules could not be broken but they could be stretched if even just a little. Fili devoted himself to finding ways to push those boundaries outwards, like leaving the door ajar if Kili were hidden beside him. Anyone entering the room pretended they didn’t see the wide brown eyes peering up at them from under his shoulder while they spoke with Fili and when that person departed they would discuss what was said in whispered voices. Ori proved especially good at this, coming in with the day’s news and gossip, placing his knitting on the bed while he made soft gloves and scarves in muted colors, pretending he did not see the hand that crept out to touch balls of yarn or the end of a scarf. Once Fili discovered a pair of dark green fingerless gloves under the blankets and assumed that Ori had deliberately placed them where he knew Kili would reach for them. Gimli came to with tales of hunting and new things he had learned at the forge. He brought several daggers he had made, very good apprentice work, one which he left sitting on the bedside table that promptly was squirreled away under their pillows.
So Fili was surprised when Dis walked in with a tray of food and announced that they had a visitor. “Someone is here to see you Kili.”
Hilgot walked in behind her and seated herself at Kili’s side while Dis set up the tray behind his line of sight. “How is Kili today?” she asked him directly. Fili was about to reply when Kili spoke up. “Tired,” he said in a soft voice.
“You had long journey to come home,” she went on. “This is golden Alpha you spoke of?”
“Fili,” Kili wiggled up a little. “His name’s Fili, and he’s mine.” Fili was afraid to move or speak. This was more than Kili had said to anyone but him for a week.
“Loves you, he does. Fought very hard to get you back.” Kili pushed himself up until he was propped fully up against Fili’s shoulder. “He loves me more than anything.” Fili gently pressed a soft kiss into his hair. He had placed himself in danger’s path for Kili and would do so again, and no matter what it took he would see him through this.
Hilgot rearranged some things on the tray. “Your mother made some special food just for you.”
Kili looked away. “I’m not hungry.”
“Maybe if I tell you story?” It was a statement more than a question. This had been their routine for months since Kili had first stopped eating. He nodded and she spooned up a small bite of dumpling. “When I leave keep no place there is for me to go. Happy I was to be out, but no husband, no home, no money.” Now a small bite of chicken. “Thought to go as far as city, work in tavern, have roof over head. Your mother asked I should come here. So I did.” A sip of a special tea Oin had left. “I meet grumpy old dwarf. Is healer. Needed help with dwarves hurt under bad rock. So I had work to do.” More chicken. “His office… jars and bottles everywhere, papers need put away.” More tea. “So much work for me to do. But still here are friends for me.” And so it went until the entire bowl had disappeared and she carefully covered the tray with a hand towel. “Is good you eat a little,” she told him, stroking his hair. “Pretty Alpha will get cold if not here to warm him.”
After she left Kili did not pace the floor. He lay against Fili letting him stroke his hair as soft voices filtered through the house. “Would you get cold without me?” Fili pressed soft kisses into his hair. “I would never be warm again.”
Dwalin paused at the doorway to the archives, carved wooden box in his hand. This was not somewhere he would ever normally be and he felt awkward. His domain was the forge, the weapons yard, the tavern. He made things with his hands and broke them just as easily. He raised his voice in battle and in song. He was the Warrior of Aulё set on the stone to strike fear into the hearts of the spawn of Melkor. He was not a dwarf to wander a hall filled with delicate and irreplaceable manuscripts. His big fingers were not made to touch parchment scrolls or hand-sewn bindings. He did not read for enjoyment. In fact it came to him with great difficulty, making his teachers think him to be thick-skulled and muscle-brained. The truth was he was very smart; level-headed when others panicked, calculating when others foundered. It was just that the runes and letters never lined up right for him and his early frustrations drove him towards the things that he was good at, becoming a warrior so fierce that his schoolmates stopped whispering about him even when he wasn’t around to hear it.
So now here he was about to walk into the one place he really didn’t want to be. He felt an all too familiar tightness roiling up in his gut and wished he could at least come up with a reasonable excuse to be there but there wasn’t one really. He was there for one purpose and one purpose only, so he took a deep breath and soldiered on. The archives were bigger than he had thought they would be. Rows upon rows of leather-bound books, drawers full of scrolls, scribes bent over desks. He was honestly beginning to wonder what in Middle Earth anyone could possibly write so many words about when a familiar voice interrupted his thoughts. “Oh! Hello, I thought that was you!” Looking down he saw the object of his intentions smiling up at him.
“Ori, just who ah was here to see,” he smiled back, pleased to see the happy look on the little ginger’s face.
“Really? Did I forget a training day?” He looked worried. “I’m so sorry!”
“No, nuthin’ like that,” Dwalin reassured him. “Is just that I came across this in one of the cities we went through on the road an’ thought you might like it.”
Ori took the box over to his desk and opened it. “Oh, my! An illumination kit!” Suddenly Dwalin found himself with an armful of happy ginger-haired Omega. “Thank you!” The other scribes caved into curiosity and left their work, crowding around Ori’s desk to look. As they ooh’d and ahh’d at the delicate brushes and vibrant colors Dwalin began to feel quite proud of himself.
“I could never get these inks here. Is that lapis?!” Ori was delighted. Dwalin was now feeling the whole dangerous trek to the archives was worth it when a polite cough sounded from behind him. Turning, he found himself looking into the disapproving eyes of Ori’s eldest brother. “A word, if you please.”
Dwalin nodded and followed him into the next room, internally debating how much trouble he would be in for pulling his weapons in this place. Probably a lot. He squared his shoulders and waited for the other to speak first. “Mister Dwalin,” began Dori. “I do believe you are aware of the customs of our people?” It was more of a statement than a question.
“Aye.”
“And so you would be aware that, by tradition, any courting gifts would first be approved of by the family before being presented?”
“Aye.”
“And yet you just presented Ori with an entirely elaborate set of illuminations materials.” By Mahal, did he have to use big words every time he spoke?
“Well, Master Dori,” Dwalin replied very politely. “Ori did say to me that he could ner find such things in this town’s market so I secured those on his behalf during mah travels.”
“Yes, but…”
“And,” he went on. “Should we be courtin’ I would certainly present them to you in a proper fashion, but seein’ as we are not…”
“Dori, what are you doing?” Ori poked his head in the door.
“Ori!,” Dori at least had the good grace to look sheepish. “We were just discussing…”
“I know what you were discussing!” Ori grabbed Dwalin by the arm and pulled him back towards his desk. “Oh Mahal, Dori! It’s not like we’re courting or anything!”
Dori knew when he was defeated. There was no hope for it but to start inviting the big warrior over for dinner.
Kili woke to find himself alone in the bed, the furs tucked tightly around him. He blinked owlishly for a moment, looking around for his One, only to see Thorin sitting in the chair next to him, working on something in his lap. Thorin smiled. “He’s not here. Dwalin came and took him to the training ground to work out. But your mother and I are.”
Kili didn’t answer that. He just slid back down into the warmth beneath the blankets and watched his uncle’s hands. “I had some things to do here so I stayed to keep you company,” Thorin continued. Kili could see feathers in his lap, large goose flights like he used for fletching that Thorin was carefully splitting and scraping.
“You’re doing that wrong.”
Thorin raised an eyebrow in his direction. He had been the one to teach the boys to hunt but no dwarf used a bow as well as Kili did.
“You’re stripping them wrong.”
He offered the little knife and a feather over to him. “Show me.” Kili slid up until he was sitting back against the headboard and took the tools in his hands and for the next two hours sat making arrows while Thorin told him stories of Erebor that was.
Fili hacked away at the practice pells, going through his routine, burning off frustrated, pent-up energy. As much as he loved the long days in bed with Kili after being apart for so long the hurt he saw there was torturous. The rules, the hiding, the refusal to eat or speak. Kili was afraid and broken and he wanted to smash the dwarf responsible in the face over and over until he ceased to exist. The trouble was he was already dead and even if he wasn’t, killing him again, no matter how good it made him feel would not help Kili get well again. He was angry at the men who took him and who would likely never answer for that crime. He was angry at the dwarves who had stood by and watched it happen. And he held back that anger whenever he was in the house, Kili didn’t need to be frightened any more than he was, but it burned inside of him.
Kili’s secrecy about what had happened made it harder. He didn’t know who had touched him, hurt him, caused that fear and the not knowing boiled up within him. When he was in the house he had to stay calm and controlled. He had to quiet all the questions he wanted to ask. Not grab Kili and stare at him until he found the happy little brother that had once been there. He wanted to hurt someone, break someone and he had nothing. The sound of wood cracking snapped his thoughts back to the present. He had broken the wooden practice sword he had been using and his left shoulder ached.
“Had ‘nuff?” Dwalin’s voice sounded from behind him.
Fili rubbed his chest. “Mahal, Dwalin, I don’t know what to do.”
Dwalin patted him firmly. “Yer angry, yeh have a right to be.”
“Fuck! I just want to break things!”
Dwalin took the broken sword from him. “Then come here an’ break things. Come every day if yeh need to.”
“I can’t, Kili needs me.” Fili scrubbed his hand across his face, wet with perspiration. “I have to get back. He might have woken and I won’t be there.”
“Kili needs you sane,” Dwalin tossed the broken sword on the woodpile. “Hovering over him with no way to get yer anger out won’t make him better. Meet me here in the afternoons and I’ll give yeh a workout. You can watch meh back.”
“Watch your back? Why?”
Dwalin looked around to see if anyone was in earshot. “Nori an’ Dori,” he said in a low voice.
Fili barked out a laugh. “You don’t do anything halfway do you?”
Dwalin shrugged and nodded. “I want yeh to head over to Oin’s and get that scar checked. I kin see yeh pullin yer left arm.”
“But Kili…”
“Is with yer Mum and Thorin. He’ll be fine for now. Go.” Dwalin sent him off with a firm shove.
Fili chafed at having to take a detour home, but Dwalin was right; anger bottled up eventually overflowed and injuries neglected didn’t heal. He walked to the infirmary to look for Oin.
“Fili,” a familiar voice greeted him. Hilgot’s smile changed to a look of concern. “Is Kili well?”
“No, I mean yes,” Fili stuttered. “He was sleeping when I left. Dwalin wanted me to come get my scar checked. It’s pulling.”
“Oin is not here. Injury to attend to. I can look.” She motioned for him to remove his coat and shirt.
Fili felt a little awkward. Oin and birthed both him and his brother and treated all of their injuries. As if sensing his discomfort she said, “Mother was healer, I help her since I was small. Many older brothers, always trying to kill each other. Let me see.”
He laughed at that and shrugged his shirt off. She had him move the arm and stretch to see where it pulled. “Hilgot, may I ask you something?”
“Ask, I will try to answer.”
He wanted to ask what happened in the keep. He wanted to ask if Greylock had done more than touching. He wanted to ask… “How did… Why did you live in the keep?”
“My husband and me come to town to open shop. Good business in mining town. At first we do well. Then husband start to drink, fight, got stabbed in tavern. We owe money so I had to sell shop. No way to get back home. Someone say come to keep, serve, clean, do laundry, save money to get home. I go, they not let me leave.”
“Like Kili.” He lowered his arm. “Thank you for taking care of him.”
She handed him his shirt. “I was mother too, once.”
“You had a son?”
“Little girl. Dova, my Little Dove.”
“What happened?”
“Caravan came through village off trade road. One was ill with sweat. Soon many in the village fall ill with sweat. Some things,” she shook her head. “Some things cannot be fixed.”
“I’m sorry.” Fili felt an overwhelming sense of sadness.
“I will see her soon enough. She will always be happy little girl.” She handed him his coat. “There is no bruising at scar, skin does not open. You need to work it every day or else get used to not using arm.”
“I will, thank you.” He slid back into his coat. “Will you come see us soon?”
“If not needed here I will come.” She bade him farewell and turned back to her work.
When Fili returned to the house his mother swatted him away. “Ugh! Into the bath with you!”
“Smell of a warrior, Mum! Come here, let me hug you!” He spread his arms wide and advanced upon her.
“No,” she whacked him firmly. “Go on now. And take your brother with you!”
He marched up the stairs in a much better mood than when he had departed. Kili was sitting up in bed listening to Thorin talk. “Fee!”
“Hey, you!” Fili tossed off his coat, pulled the blankets back and lifted his other out of the bed, ignoring his indignant squawks. “Bath time!” He carried him down to the bathing room where their mother had already started the boiler going for them. There he pulled their clothes off, tossing them all over the floor and sat his other down on the bench for scrubbing. The boiler had already warmed the room and Fili started in on his brother’s hair, gently scratching at his scalp and massaging soap into the brittle locks.
“You’re happy,” Kili commented, his voice quiet.
“I am. I got to work my shoulder and I found out something about Dwalin.” He knew that would get Kili’s interest.
“Dwalin?”
“Um-hmmm… He’s in trouble.” Fili carefully started to rinse his hair, trying to keep the water off of his face. Kili never liked water on his face. “With who?” Kili let him soap over the rest of his body, rubbing the fragile skin with care.
“Nori and Dori.” Fili lovingly caressed his hands over him. “Seems he’s been very friendly with Ori lately and they don’t like it. We can ask Ori next time he comes to visit.”
Kili carefully unbraided Fili’s hair, setting the silver beads aside. “Thorin’s leaving,” he spoke the words in a whisper.
“Leaving? Why?”
Kili rubbed his fingers into the thick golden locks. “They’re going to pull down Greylock’s keep.”
Fili was silent at that. Thorin hadn’t told him he was going or what they intended to do. He had a deep and overwhelming urge to go, to kill as many as he could, to watch it all burn. “I don’t want you to.”
He looked back at Kili, so thin, so small. “Gimlelul?”
“I don’t want you to go.” Kili’s eyes were wide, pleading. “Please don’t leave me here alone.”
Fili’s heart lurched. “It would only be for a halfmoon. Maybe a few days more.”
“Half a moon and I won’t know if you’re alive or dead.” He let his hands drop into his lap. “Please.”
Fili had to make a decision. Fight a flesh and blood enemy a hard week’s ride away or stay here and fight one that he could not see. In the weeks since his return Kili had started gaining weight, had started talking again, but he was still broken and locked into his fears. He had to make the hard decision. “If you need me I will stay.”
Tears started to drip down Kili’s face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Fili took his face in his hands and kissed him, stilling the words of regret that were tumbling from his other’s mouth. “I love you. I will not leave you. Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.” Fili had never shied away from doing what was hard and he wouldn’t now. He would forego his revenge, stay and fight the monsters at Kili’s doorstep. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
Kili let himself be steered into the soaking tub where he relaxed into Fili’s arms. The large tub was one of the few luxuries they had, a gift from Nali’s father when Nali built the house for Dis. Kili lay tracing his fingers over the bright scar on Fili’s chest. Fili pressed his hand over his to cover it. “I think I’ll get it inked.”
“The scar?”
“Yeah. I’ll ask Dwalin to do it.”
“What will it say?”
“I don’t know yet. I’ll have to think on it.”
Kili laid his head down and closed his eyes. “Put a raven on it.”
Dis took the opportunity to change the bedding out in the boys room. She peeled the furs and blankets back only to reveal a mixture of items scattered around underneath. Pulling the pillows revealed more. A dagger with Gimli’s stamp on it, a pair of green, fingerless knit gloves and a dark blue scarf. Those must have come from Ori. The little knife Thorin used to trim and shape fletching arrows. A spoon. Several keys she had been looking for. An assortment of hair beads and Fili’s hair clip. She looked at the little pile of objects that somehow represented safety and security to her injured son. She wasn’t sure exactly why he felt he needed these things. Maybe they represented the people they had come from. She changed the linens and stashed them all underneath the pillows when she was done.
Fili lay face down on the bed, screaming into his pillow, Kili pressed firmly across his lower half as he picked at his legs. This was Kili’s favorite thing to do to him. Well, one of them anyway. Unlike Kili, whose leg hair grew in rather smooth, Fili’s golden fur tended to be curly and he ended up with ingrown hairs on his thighs. Kili would wrestle him down and lay on him, picking at them without mercy while Fili squirmed underneath him. If it wasn’t for the skin-to-skin contact or the fact that it usually ended with Kili’s mouth on him Fili would have never allowed it. As it was Fili was ready to leap out of his skin.
“Kili!” Fili growled into the pillow. “That hurts!”
Kili responded by flipping him over and attacking his front. Fili pulled the pillow over his face. Kili went over his skin an inch at a time, scritching and plucking, while Fili tried unsuccessfully to slide out from underneath him. Finally Kili crept up into his arms and laid his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes.
“Feel better now?” Fili asked. Kili nodded in reply but did not say anything. Fili pulled the furs over them, trying to hide his half-full erection. Usually they’d be intertwined by now, rutting shamelessly against each other. Now Kili just seemed tired. He watched as his other drifted off to sleep. “I love you atamanel and I’ll be here when you wake.”
Several weeks later Thorin stood once again at the keep in the wilderness, this time at the head of a small army of warriors sent from neighboring dwarven holds. Dwalin stood beside him, leaning comfortably on his hammer, used to the long waiting before a battle. They were quiet in the darkness, waiting for a signal from the small auburn-haired thief he had sent inside. They were watching a small door in the keep wall, two guards inside, two guards outside, and Thorin could smell the refuse heap nearby. The other dwarf lords had not hesitated to lend their aid to this. There could be no forgiveness for those who would willfully break one of the most sacred of their laws.
As they watched the door opened from the inside and stayed open, as if of it’s own accord. The guards looked at each other and then one after the other went in to look. Not smart, but then how dumb did you have to be to get roped into guarding a cesspool? Nori popped his head out and whistled the short pip, pip, pip. Thorin raised his hand and signaled them to move forward. By morning most of the dwarves and men inside would be dead. In two days they would have the place burned from the inside and the stones pulled to the ground.
Dis walked down to the creek in the morning light, her fishing bag over her shoulder and a bucket in her hand. As they usually did, her thoughts wandered towards her younger son. He was home but he was not safe, his biggest challenge was that he was having trouble putting weight back on. His unnatural thinness made him cold and gave him yet another excuse for not wanting to leave their house. He had been a frequent eater, his natural energy seeming to burn off food as fast as he consumed it, but now just getting food into him had become a group effort. He bargained for food; would eat in exchange for a story, but couldn’t look at the plate or really even feed himself. It was as if he denied himself permission to just do this simple thing he had done every day of his life.
The one thing he had started eating was the nuts she was bringing home from the marketplace. She had brought a bowl to crack while she was sitting with him one day while Fili was at the training grounds and he had discretely started sneaking them out when he thought she wasn’t looking, so she made a pouch that she could leave under his blanket and every day it would be empty. Perhaps he could not allow anyone to see him eat or maybe stolen food did not count, in any case she was determined to get him to feed himself.
Sitting at the bank of the creek she divested herself of her boots and coat and unpacked her fishing bag. Thorin had no patience for it but Nali had loved it, taking her frequently before the boys were born. Fili and Kili enjoyed it as well, Fili attempting to stalk the fish with a long, many pronged spear while Kili just flopped into the water and chased after them until he could flip one out bear-style. She smiled as she spread her net and anchored the tether beneath a large rock. When the sun finally melted the snows she would bring them all out here and let the boys splash around while they baked fish in clay under a fire. They would bring Ori, Gimli and Hilgot with them as well, and Dwalin, who couldn’t fish to save his life but greatly enjoyed eating them.
She rolled up her pant legs and slipped quietly into the chill stream, walking over the smooth rocks, careful not to splash. There were several good-sized fish in the water. They moved out of her way but didn’t dart. Slowly moving back and forth she brought her net across to where they could no longer swim away. Reaching in she trailed her hands in until she had a fish backed against the net and neatly flipped him out of the water and into the bucket of water. She repeated this smooth gathering technique until she had a good bucketful and gathered her net up. Returning to the bank she proceeded to dispatch and clean her catch, offering a prayer to Yavanna as she did so.
Looking up she noticed several large ravens watching her from the rocks poking out of the patchy snow. Then the snow itself blinked at her and she realized she was looking at a fox, still in it’s winter coat. They were all waiting for her to clean the fish so they could eat. “Oaky,” she said. “I hear you.” She started tossing out fish heads and tail tips, making sure everyone got one. The fox grabbed a head and ran with it before the ravens could steal it. She knew that when she left they would come clean the leavings. Nothing would go to waste.
She walked in through the kitchen door. “Kili, Fili? I’m home!”
“Hi Ma!” they were in the common room bundled up in front of the fire. Their hair was mussed and they looked happy so she assumed they had been making good use of their time alone. “If you boys want to get the stove going I brought fish back.”
Fili scrambled up, pulling Kili behind him. He opened the dampers and fed the coals that had been banked to keep them going, Kili whispering instruction over his shoulder. “I know how to do this, brother.”
“You always put too much wood in at first.”
“Does it matter? It’s all going to burn anyway.”
“You’ll smother the fire.” Dis smiled. Usually Kili would end up shoving his brother out of the way and doing it himself. They managed to get a good steady burn going and put a large pot of fresh water on to heat while she scaled the fish. She was just deciding to give them a good fry up, perhaps serve them up with an assortment of fermented and pickled vegetables from her root cellar when the front door opened with a bang.
“Hello the house!”
“Uncle!” Thorin walked in looking tired and careworn, a heavy pack on his shoulder and a burlap bag hanging from his hand. He needed a bath and a hot meal, but first he wanted his family. Kili and Fili threw their arms around him as if they were dwarfings. Dis was up to her elbows in fish so she gently pressed foreheads with him. “Welcome home.”
“What’s in the bag?” Fili lifted it from his hands. Thorin set down his pack, reached into the bag and pulled out a heavy chunk of stone. It was cracked and blackened by fire. He dropped it with a resounding clunk! onto the table. “We pulled down the keep. Burnt the timbers from the inside out, broke the stone, leveled it to the foundations.”
Kili stared at it. “What about…”
“Those dwarves and men who opposed us are dead. We left them for the crows to feed upon, to serve as a warning.” Thorin walked over to the stove and poured a mug of hot water from the kettle for tea.
“And the servants?”
“Some ran off, we think to the town or to the mine. Those that surrendered we escorted to the nearest city.” Kili seemed satisfied with that.
“Get that thing off my table,” Dis commanded. “Boys, go get the boiler started in the washroom for your uncle.”
Kili scooped the offending rock off the table, carried it out the kitchen door and dropped it into the snow. If nothing else it would make a useful doorstop.
Supper saw them all in a much better mood. Dis insisted that they eat at the table and served everyone a plate. In celebration of Thorin’s return she baked scones and had the boys broach a cask of pickles. Kili sat pressed up against his other, not looking at the food on his plate. Instead he laid his head on Fili’s shoulder listening to Thorin tell the tale of their journey and the battle.
“Nori let us in through the back gate. They did not know we were there until we were among them.” Thorin happily munched down on a slice of pickle.
“Did they think they would come to no consequence for their actions?” Fili asked. Glancing down at his plate he noticed some of his fish was missing.
“I do not believe anyone ever delivered retribution to their door, no,” Thorin answered, pointedly not looking at Kili.
“That’s why they were so far out in the wilderness,” Dis pointed out. “This were not unheard of in the time of our father. Lawless dwarves who would set up on their own, menacing the farmers and caravans.” She reached over and slid several more servings of fish onto Fili’s plate.
“Thror would send armies to clear them out. A king must look after the lowest of his subjects as well as the highest,” Thorin spoke around a mouthful of scone. “Trade routes must remain clear, mines and farms must be kept safe. His protection extended far beyond the mountain.”
“We should work with the other holds to root them all out, make sure no criminal tries to set himself up as a lord again,” Fili said, ignoring the slender fingers filching the food off his plate.
“How do we know where they are? They are secretive until they cause a problem so big it cannot be hidden,” Thorin replied.
“Nori would know,” Dis produced a plate of mince tarts from the sideboard, doling one out to each of them. “I’m sure he’s picked up such information in his travels.”
Fili broke his tart up into small pieces on his plate. “You will have to bribe him with supper.” Finally he reached over and discreetly swapped his plate for Kili’s untouched one. If food from someone else’s plate was only stretching Kili’s rules and not breaking them then at least he could start to feed himself. He took a bite of the fish. “This is really good Mum.”
The breaking of the keep seemed to trigger a change in Kili and very gradually he started to come back to himself. The most noticeable change was the weight gain and with it a lessening of the strange behaviors and fears. One by one the rules fell, his friends and family gently helping to bend them until they broke apart. The first green of spring saw him bright eyed and glossy haired and now with enough weight on to not feel cold all of the time. Ori and Gimli would visit and they would all lay under the tree, bellies full from Dis’ kitchen. Some days they watched Kili at target practice, building his arms up again. Finally they all went for a walk down the path through the woods to the place where that terrible thing had happened.
“You fell here,” tears fell down Kili’s face.
“And you saved me,” Fili brushed them away. “Mum and Uncle followed the trail you left back to me. I owe you my life.”
Kili cried unashamedly upon his shoulder and Dis and Thorin held them both. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” Fili whispered over and over to him.
Thorin and Dwalin sat together at an outdoor table in the Ered Luin marketplace eating meat pies and watching the crowd flow around them. He made it a point of visiting each market day, shaking hands with the stall owners, exchanging news and looking at the wares that were coming in up the trade route. It gave him a better insight on what was going on in the community, who was opening a new forge, what new family had moved into town, the celebrations, the feuds, the gossip. It provided him with a welcome change from his usual meetings with the council and talks with the guilds. Often Dwalin would accompany him and if they spent more time in the weapons stalls looking at new swords and axes no one commented on it. For now they were just content to eat and drink and not have any pressing crisis to deal with.
As if Fate knew their thoughts a shout arouse across the square and in a moment Nori came pelting past them, a grin on his face and two guards at his heels. The King and the Captain watched them go.
“You going to chase him?”
“Still eatin’. Don’ want ta spoil meh lunch.”
“Think he does it on purpose?”
“Aye, gives the new guards a good workout. Considers it part of their trainin’.”
Thorin shook his head. They knew that when Nori was tired of the chase he’d take to the rooftops where the guard was practically useless. Sometimes he’d be a good sport and let himself be caught but would always be out again by morning. “How full is his pouch?”
“He could get arrested every day fer the next sixmoon and still be out the next.” Dwalin drained his ale. “He knows it, too.” Nori had refused to accept any public accolades or reward for his part in Kili’s rescue. Instead a sum was quietly gifted to his family and an apprenticeship opened up with the Illuminations Master at the Archives for Ori. The “pouch” Thorin referred to was a bail fund, discreetly kept in the lockbox at the settlement’s jail. Anytime Nori felt like spending a night in a cell he was bounced right back out again the next morning to the consternation of the guards who were charged with keeping him out of the marketplace.
“Let’s hope he stays out of any real trouble.”
“You like to wager on that?”
“No…”
epilogue
Erebor, Three Years After The Fall Of Smaug
“Fili… Fili…. FEE!”
Fili knelt down at the feet of his very pregnant and uncomfortable consort and placed his hands gently on his knees, gazing up at him with love and adoration. Kili was in the last days of his confinement, ready to give birth at any time and absolutely miserable, his mate not leaving his side. “Yes, Gimlelul?”
Kili was sitting in an overstuffed chair before the fire in their front room, pillows piled behind his back, looking worn out and forlorn. “I can’t…” he waved his hands.
“Can’t…?” Fili knew what the problem was and knew better than to smirk about it.
“I can’t get up. Please help me?” Fili stood and carefully lifted his beautiful, bonded Omega gently under the shoulders and eased him into a standing position. Kili waddled unsteadily with one hand on Fili’s shoulder and one on the small of his back and huffed. “I blame you for this.”
Fili smiled blissfully, leaning in to kiss him. “I love you so much.”
“No you don’t. I’m huge and I waddle like a duck and my back hurts all the time.”
“A very lovely duck.” Fili nuzzled along his neck and smiled, a hand slipping down to rub over his mate’s rather large belly. The unique mix of hormones Kili was giving off and Fili’s protective instincts making him besotted and just slightly obsessed with his mate.
“I don’t know how you can even look at me right now. I can’t see my feet and the baby is pressing on my bladder. I have to pee…” Fili steered him towards the bedroom. “Come on, I’ll help you. Then you can lay down and I’ll rub your back.”
He helped Kili undress and laid him down on the firs covering their sprawling bed. It was a huge four-poster with draping curtains, a remainder of the Erebor that was before, a gift to them from Thorin when Fili told him they were trying for a baby. “This bed has been the foundation of many a royal marriage through generations in Erebor. The wood used to make it is special, tough, ruins the tools used to carve it, yet beautiful to look upon.” And indeed it was, the beautiful dark grain shining with oil, the posts carved with geometric shapes, the headboard inlaid with the seven-starred seal of Durin in mithril that shone gently in the darkness. It was sturdy and plush and opulent and they had spent the better part of a week breaking it in while Kili was fertile.
Fili stroked his hands over his mate’s pregnant belly, skin stretched tight and full. He peppered little kisses all along the way, worshiping everything it meant to be bonded, to be a father, the promise of all their future together. He had been so inordinately proud when Kili started showing, the congratulatory toasts and backslapping of their friends not helping. Thorin didn’t make matters any better by being so smug about it in front of the envoys from the other kingdoms. Omegas were rare and the impending birth only helped to solidify the standing of the royal family. Fili was considered a fine successor to Thorin, proven in battle and in fortitude, a dwarf to be respected and…
“…are you listening to me?”
Fili’s head popped up to meet Kili’s brown eyes. “I am sorry, Âzyungâl. I was lost in thought.”
Kili laid his head back and rolled his eyes. “If I wasn’t beached I would trounce you.” He squirmed uncomfortably. “Lay skin-to-skin with me? Rub my back and feet? Make your son stop kicking his mother?”
Fili smiled indulgently, ready to do anything Kili asked of him. He pulled off his clothing, rolled his long-suffering mate onto his side and gently massaged his lower back, working knots out of over-used muscles and down his long legs, pressing swollen feet and ankles. “Has he been busy today?”
“Oof!” Kili breathed. “He starts kicking and won’t stop.”
Fili slid around to Kili’s front and directly addressed his belly. “My little son,” he cooed, placing his hand where he could feel little feet pressing. “You have to stop being unkind to your mother. In a few days you will be out and I will teach you to hold a sword and to fight and drink and hunt and all the swear words you’re not supposed to say.”
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Of course I’m enjoying this. It’s wonderful!”
Kili groaned. “Wonderful for you maybe. I’m just fat and sore and tired.”
“Would you like to sleep for a while?”
“I think so. Not like I can get up and do anything.”
Fili slid around to spoon his mate, so in love with him, so in love with the idea of being a father and bringing this new life into the world. Kili was just tired and ready to get it over with. The room was quiet with only the fire to illuminate them. In a few moments they had both drifted off to sleep.
Kili woke a few hours later gasping and in pain, a tremendous pressure exerting itself on his distended abdomen. He reached down a found his legs and the sheets under him to be wet and sticky. “Thank Mahal,” he whispered. “Fili! Fili, wake up!”
Fili popped up behind him, hair disheveled, eyes gummy. “What?! What’s wrong?”
“I need,” Kili huffed and rubbed his hand over his belly. “Midwife, and Mum, get Mum.”
Fili was up off the bed and fully awake now. “Did something happen? Is the baby ok?”
“Everything’s fine,” Kili made grabby hands towards his nightshirt, which was hanging near the fire. “The baby’s coming.”
“Now?!” Fili looked down at his legs as if he expected the baby to crown at any moment.
“Not now,” Kili was getting exasperated. “Soon. Midwife! Mother! Go, now!” he gestured towards the door.
Fili bolted out into the hallway without pausing to put his boots on, running right into a very startled Hobbit. “Bilbo!”
“Fili?” the rather flustered Royal Consort struggled to right himself. “What’s wrong?”
“Baby! Now!” For all his solidity on the field of battle the young Prince of Erebor was starting to panic. What if the baby came before he could get back with the midwife? What if something happened while Kili was alone?
“Oh! Right!” Bilbo looked just as alarmed. “Thorin’s in the council chambers, your mother is usually there. I’ll go now.”
“Thank you!” Fili took off at a run and dashed down the halls until he came to the part of the mountain where the hospital wing was. Bursting through the doors he quickly located the midwife. She had been checking in on Kili every day now for the past two weeks and was not at all surprised when a near incoherent father-to-be burst in and started waving his hands frantically.
“Did his water break?” she asked, gathering things she needed into a basket. “What about contractions?”
“Yes! Um, I don’t know?” Fili wasn’t sure about the contractions. How was he supposed to be able to tell?
“I will go now and see what there is to see,” she patted him on the arm. “Why don’t you get Oin and ask him to come?”
“Oin, yes, get Oin,” Fili panted. Why would they need Oin? Was Kili in danger? He tracked down the old healer and begged him to come, despite Oin’s assurances that he really wouldn’t be needed, at least not for some time yet. “Please? I have to get back there!”
“Fine, fine,” Oin swatted him away. The infirmary was quiet anyway he might as well stop in and see if anyone needed sedation, most likely Fili. “You go, I’ll follow.”
By the time Fili made it back to their rooms Thorin, Dis, Balin and Bilbo were already there, the other members of The Company just starting to arrive. It was dwarven tradition that the families and close friends of the expectant parents gather to wait together, as much to keep the father occupied and out of the way as anything else. Thorin nodded in the direction of the bedroom door. “You can go in, nothing will be happening for a while yet.” He had been present at the boy’s birthings and vividly remembered Dis breaking two fingers on his left hand during a contraction.
Fili tentatively cracked open the bedroom door and peered inside as if expecting the baby to already be there. He was surprised to see Kili dressed in loose trousers and tunic, standing and leaning his hands against the wall, breathing hard. “Kili? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
His mother turned and smiled at him. “You’re just in time. Kili needs to walk for a while to help ease the pressure until he’s ready. You can help.”
Fili helped his now huffing and nervous mate walk slow laps up and down the hall outside of their rooms, every small while stopping to lean and breath as another contraction started. He would rub Kili’s back and murmur words of love and encouragement while Dis and the midwife watched, but he quickly learned not to hold his mate’s hand while it was happening. “You’re so strong, and so beautiful, I am so proud of you my love…” Fili gently whispered, silently willing all of his strength and resilience into his other, his One.
“You are a horrible bastard,” Kili replied, eyes squeezed shut. “When I am back on my feet I am going to put your stones in a vise and squeeze them until they pop!”
“Of course you are,” Fili rubbed his back gently.
“I think you should be forced to squeeze a lead ingot through your… oof!”
As another contraction comes and goes and the midwife placed a hand on Kili’s shoulder. “They are getting close. Let’s get you into bed, the pushing will start soon.”
Fili helped him back to the bedroom but was quickly shoved back out into the sitting room with Thorin and the others. “Can’t I stay? I could help.”
“No!” Kili looked at his wits end. “I don’t want you to watch me squeeze something that big out of there!”
“Come on lad,” Dwalin carefully steered him back to the sofa where he was surrounded by friends, only Oin, Ori and the midwife’s helpers going past the door now. They told stories and placed wagers on the time and size and Bofur sang until the first sounds of Kili pushing in earnest filtered through the door. Fili felt a wretched pang of fear shoot through him. “Is that, I mean, is he…?”
Bombur raised a small toast to the room. “Won’t be long now.” He and his wife had ten children and he was an experienced hand at this.
The cries were agonizing, along with the encouraging voices of Dis and the midwife, they could hear a lot of activity. At one point Oin and Ori emerged to report that everything was going as expected and Kili was doing fine. Fili absolutely did not believe them.
“Fili!” he could hear his mate’s cry. “I want Fili so I can kill him for doing this to me!”
Fili leaped up off the couch only to be pressed back down by firm hands. “Aye ye want nothin’ to do with what’s happenin’ in there,” Gloin commented. “Take yer life in yeh hands walkin’ through that door.”
“But he needs me!” Fili insisted.
“Your mother broke my fingers giving birth to you,” Thorin commented. “And when your brother was born she picked your father up and threw him into the wall so hard his head made a dent.” The others laughed around him.
Finally, after an excruciatingly long push, they heard the sound they had been waiting for, the loud, strong cry of a new life thoroughly objecting to being brought into this world. In the sitting room they cheered and toasted and hammered Fili on the back in congratulations. “That’s a healthy set of lungs, no doubt about it,” Bofur chimed happily.
A few minutes later Dis emerged, a swaddled bundle in her arms. “Fili, would you like to meet your daughter?”
“My…” Fili stood and reached out his arms. “A girl? Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure!” Dis laughed. Fili parted the blanket to look down at a very grumpy-looking baby with a tuft of dark hair.
“Oh, Mahal and Yavanna, we are blessed,” Fili breathed. “My baby girl!” Tears started slipping down his face.
Dis left them to go back into the bedroom with a stern admonishment not to let the infant get cold. Fili settled into a chair near the fire. “Hello, baby,” he cooed. “Hello my little daughter.” So focused was he on this new life in his arms he didn’t hear the voices behind the door. It was not until he heard Kili cry out that his head snapped up. “What’s wrong? Thorin?”
His uncle strode over to the door and peeked in with caution, only to have it slammed back in his face. “Out!”
They all stared, listening to what sounded like Kili pushing again. “But the baby’s already out!” Fili was almost frantic now, the baby growing fussy in his arms. “What’s happening to Kili?”
Suddenly they heard the sound of another voice loudly objecting its introduction into the world. “Well bless me!” Bofur exclaimed. “Did ya hear that? Two babies!”
In short order Dis emerged again holding another sleepy baby, this one with a tuft a golden hair like his father. “This one’s a boy,” she said, handing him to Thorin, who looked just as dumbstruck as Fili.
“Are there… any more?” Fili asked hesitantly.
“It does not appear so,” Dis answered. “The midwife is as surprised as I am. Now I have to go back, we have a lot to do yet before you can go in. Keep them close and don’t let them get cold.”
“How is Kili?” Fili ached to go inside, bring the babies in on the bed and just lay next to Kili and watch them all sleep.
“He’s doing fine. He’s strong and is expressing a desire to throw you off the front gate.”
They settled in around the fire and Fili wondered at how he was blessed with not one but two healthy babes, his beautiful consort, his friends and family surrounding him. Balin stood and patted him on the shoulder. “I think it’s time we made an announcement. Congratulations to the both of you.” He slipped out of the room taking Gloin with him and it wasn’t long before they heard the sound of a horn blowing.
Thorin looked up and smiled. “I have not heard that horn blow since… well, since I was young.”
“What is it?” Fili did not remember seeing any horn in the mountain.
“It is the Horn of the Maker and it sits in a cavern at the very top of the mountain,” Thorin stroked the baby he was holding. “It is only blown on very momentous occasions. There are few left who could do it.” Soon they felt more then heard an answering rumble roll softly through the mountain.
“Dale?” asked Dori.
“Aye think so,” Dwalin commented. “Ravens will be going out to all the kingdoms. Mahal and Yavanna have seen fit to doubly bless the Line of Durin on this day.”
For a while they all just sat and watched the babies yawn, squirm and scrunch their faces until Bofur quietly asked, “Did you pick out names yet?”
“Nali, after our Da,” Fili answered. We were so sure of a boy but now we’ll have to find a girl’s name as well.”
The door clicked open and Dis poked her head out. “You can come in now.”
Servants left the bedchamber carrying away soiled bedding and nightclothes and Fili and Thorin entered, carrying the babes. Kili was propped up in the bed looking tired but rather proud of himself. Fili leaned over and kissed him gently. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” Their daughter squirmed in his arms, her face scrunching up. “I think she’s hungry.”
He handed Kili the infant and took the other from Thorin to wait his turn at the breast. Their mother sat at Kili’s side and helped him start nursing. “She likes it,” Fili murmured. “Good appetite on that one.”
Assured that Kili’s milk was starting to flow Thorin, Dis and the midwife slipped quietly out of the room. There would be time for grandparents and celebrations later. Right now the little family made up just by the four of them needed to be together, just them. “I think she’s full,” Kili said. “Put her up on your shoulder while I nurse her brother.” They traded and Fili put his daughter up on his shoulder and gently patted her back until a loud burp sounded.
“Oh yeah, she’s your daughter,” Fili laughed. He lowered her back into his arms and she yawned and scrunched her eyes tight. “She looks so much like you.”
Kili lifted their son to his shoulder to burp him but they were surprised when a loud rumble sounded from his backside instead. “Well that leaves no doubt about who your daddy is, does it?”
They both looked at each other and started to laugh. “I am so happy,” whispered Fili.
“I am so sore,” whispered Kili.
“Oh! My love, I am sorry!” Fili laid both babies carefully into the bassinet at the side of the bed, letting the babes snuggle into each other contentedly. “Let me help you.” He got everything shifted around until Kili was comfortable on his side where he could see the babes and then slid into bed behind him.
“Thank you,” Fili whispered. “Thank you for my children, thank you for not giving up. I would never be here without you.”
“This is everything I wanted,” Kili murmured. “You, these little ones, in a safe place surrounded by people who want and love us. I will never ask for more than this.”
“Mmmm…” Fili hummed in agreement into his hair and in the quiet, in the darkness and dancing firelight they drifted off to sleep.
fin