Chapter Text
“So... What do you think?”
Bagi was sat on the yellow chair, nervously holding the photos on her hands, so tight they were crippling. The books were open on the glass table in between the two, and Pac was holding the last book she had translated, eyes going over and over the message. The prison, the escapes, darling .
He held out a breath, trying to hold back his own shaking and fighting against panicked tears. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Pac couldn’t have lost another one of his family, right? He couldn’t be alone now and...
“...Pac..? Are you okay?”
Her voice was soft, coated in worry and care. He looked up to her, vision blurry, and he somberly opened a smile to her. Yeah, right, he still had Bagi there. He could count on her, that he was sure about. She was part of the Favela Six and that was enough for Pac to lay his heart to her, tell her everything.
“Sorry, Bagi... I’m not that fine.” Pac strangled out a laugh without humor, cleaning his face from stubborn tears that managed to run down his cheeks. How he could even begin explain it all to Bagi? “What I think about this? Ha! I think Cell is back.” He laughed again, hiding his face on his hands and feeling another laughter bubbling up, cracking his heart, making him lose grasp on his mind.
“Cell...? You mean Cellbit?” Bagi quietly asked, as if talking to a scared animal, which she was right. Pac felt like a scared mouse, cornered by a big cat that played with him for years until the final showdown, when it would grab him on his paws and eat him in a single bite.
Pac shook his head, hugging his own knees, not looking at Bagi to not see the heartbreak in her eyes.
“When I met him, his name was Cell. Back in Alcatraz.”
Pac licked his lips, a phantom pain where his right knee should be.
“He...” Pac started, immediately feeling his mind derailing, losing himself in fear. “He was a monster...” His voice was low, whispered in rushed secret. “He was a force of nature, one to be feared and admired.” Pac laughed to himself again, remembering Mike berating him for his idiotic crush on the Alcatraz’ Cannibal. “He was able to control the whole prison with a stupid uncharged phone.” Pac mimicked with his hand, laughter escaping once more.
Maybe he was insane, maybe he always had been.
“Yeah, I heard the stories, he was the king of Alcatraz, right?”
Pac smiled, wide, manic. “He was the butcher of Alcatraz, Bagi.” Pac licked his lips again. “He worked in the kitchen, free access to knives.” Pac leaned forward, indulging Bagi to do the same. “He made his own menu, you know?”
He watched as Bagi’s eyes went wide, murmuring to herself. “I knew he used to eat people at the war but... At the prison... I just heard rumors-”
A snicker interrupted her, Pac’s tormented gaze burning her. Bagi had never seen Pac that way, that deep in his own mind and showing how broken he really was. “Rumors? He ate my fucking leg.” Pac smiled wide, as if he was under Risus again. Maybe he was, the fog in his brain was just like that, together with the squeeze in his chest and the constant need to laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh his pain away, keep laughing until he was crying, laughing as he tore open his arms again.
Bagi just stared at him, gaze shifting between his face and his leg. Pac could see the gears turning in her head, the slow realization and horror creeping through her expression, he could even see the question trapped in her throat.
He just raised the leg of his pants, up till above his knee, showing her his whole prosthetic. “Cell didn’t had time to eat it entirely, you know?” He felt as if he was underwater again, but he didn’t stop talking. “He ate as much as he could, tho. Bit deep, took chunks of it each bite.” Pac also knew Felps was there. Felps was always there somehow. Watching it happening, just amused, covering for Cell.
“I...” Bagi stuttered, getting up and standing by his side. In a single swoop that Pac wasn’t waiting for, she hugged him, pulling his head against her shoulder with one hand. Her body was shaking, and she held him so tight. “I’m so sorry, Pac...” She sounded as if she was the one that ate a part of him, as if Cellbit’s guilty carried over to his twin and he was using her as his messenger. “I’m so deeply sorry. I shouldn’t have showed you all of this. I shouldn’t have...”
Pac hugged her back, just as tight, accidentally pulling her to fall on his lap but neither minded it, focused on only holding each other and keep the cracks from keeping showing. “You don’t need to apologize.” Pac said, shaking his head. “It’s not your fault.” He sadly smiled, now untangling himself from her and getting hit with surprise as he saw how pained she looked to know what Pac had been through due to Cellbit. It really wasn’t her fault at all, he didn’t understand why she took his wounds like that.
“If I had been faster to find him...” She said to herself, eyes tempestuous. “He wouldn’t have hurt you, and I could have helped him...” Bagi mumbled, now looking at Pac. “I could have pushed myself harder and I would’ve...”
“Bagi.” Pac cut her short, an unusual serious expression on his face. “There’s no point is being stuck in the past.” He should laugh at himself, shouldn’t he? Pac was a fucking hypocrite. He never moved on, he was still fucking stuck in Alcatraz, he was still stuck in that minuscule island staring in disbelief as Mike lunged to stab him. “We’re here now, and...” Pac derailed again, eyes unfocused. His mind yelled at him to run, to hide, to grab Fit, Tubbo, and Mike so they could escape to a place nothing could ever hurt them again. “And...”
Just run. Hide. It’s not your fucking problem to solve.
“And...”
He ate your fucking leg. He fucked you up. You’re broken because of him.
It was kinda funny, how the voice in his head sounded so much like Mike. He missed his soulmate, at least Pac wouldn’t be drifting alone into oblivion. Someone to hold him hand and keep himself afloat. Above the scary dark deep of his fucked up mind.
“Pac?” Bagi’s voice was soft, her browns furrowed while staring at him again.
Oh, right. He wasn’t alone.
“And I think we should do what we can to... To help him.” Pac practically forced himself to say it, against all his wishes. How could he say anything else when Bagi looked so sad? She was counting on him, right?
Bagi got up, confusion splattered over her body expression more than anything, staring at Pac as if he was crazy (He was, it almost made him giggle how Bagi was just noticing it now). “Pac, are you sure about that?” She approached him again, kneeling right in front of him, trying to find any trace that Pac wasn’t thinking right, that he wanted to back off from that offer.
Pac just nodded, same smile as always cemented on his face. He had nothing else to do, did he? That was his last idea. He wanted to giggle again. “Of course, Bagi. Cellbit has hurt me but...” He held Bagi’s hand, letting out air from his lungs until they were empty. “He’s family, Bagi. He’s one of the father’s of my son. I can’t leave him like this... And I know you won’t either, will you?” Pac’s smile was smaller now, more genuine and hurt.
Bagi just let her body bend forward, her forehead hitting Pac’s shoulder as she just let exhaustion take the better out of her. Pac hugged her again, keeping her from falling. “Of course I won’t. I’m never gonna leave him again, no matter where I must follow him to.” Bagi mumbled, taking a deep breath. “I’m scared he’ll do a bigger damage to himself, Pac...” She hugged him tight, her whole body shaking. “He told me he hates being this monster... What will he think of himself when he realizes what happened? What if he just runs off again and I’ll never see him again?”
Something vibrated on Pac’s wrist, and he smoothly managed to check his communicator without Bagi noticing. The color washed away from his face, and he felt his fingers tingling with dread. “Oh... I don’t think he’ll do that.”
“How are you so sure about it?” Bagi inquired, and Pac just stepped away from her, showing the whisper he had just received.
He had a pained smile on his face, hands shaking so badly he felt he was about to pass out. “Because Cell just messaged me to meet at the Order, and quick.”