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He was lounging on the couch reading a brief when he heard it. Ian jerked his head up in surprise, shocked at the string of sounds drifting from the nearby kitchen.
“You motherfucking worthless shitbrick, I should’ve gotten rid of you ages ago instead of letting you cock up every fucking thing. You can just fucking--”
“Rose?” At the sound of her name, Rose broke off her rant and looked up from the currently smoldering casserole she was holding. Ian’s lips quirked in amusement.
“Can I fucking help you?” His normally oh-so-sweet girlfriend growled.
That did it. Ian burst into laughter.
“What?!” Rose snapped, scraping the ruined casserole out of the dish and into the sink.
“Nothing, sweetheart,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. He tried and failed to avoid chuckling again.
“It’s not fucking funny, Ian. The one time I even try to cook for us in the last month, this bloody excuse for an appliance ruins it. Look at this,” she said, pointing at the charred globs of tuna in the sink. “It’s like a fucking tuna fish meteor. One that hated itself so much that it slammed into the earth just to fucking end it all.” This made Ian explode into a fresh fit of laughter, and Rose pulled away from him. “What about my failure do you find so amusing?”
Ian gently turned her to face him. “Oh, sweetheart, I don’t find your failure funny. Besides, it’s not even your failure. You said it yourself, the oven is a worthless shitbrick.” He tenderly slid a loose piece of her hair out of her face and met Rose’s eyes as he continued. “And I’m sorry it ruined the casserole, but we can order takeaway, love. It’s not a big deal.” He gave her an affectionate squeeze and Rose returned it. She buried her face in his chest and Ian felt her tense muscles relax a bit.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. The Stanton case has been stressing me out so much, I guess I just exploded a bit. It was silly.”
“It’s understandable, Rose. You’ve been pulling twelve hour days working on that bloody case, you had to let off some fucking steam somehow. Or let off some smoke, as the case may be.” That earned him a playful swat on the arm. Ian grabbed her wrist, prompting Rose to look up at him and giving him the chance to snog her thoroughly.
She gave as good as she got, and within a few moments, they were both panting and Ian’s trousers were getting a bit uncomfortable. Rose drew back, her flush face lit up with desire. Ian smiled at her fondly and wordlessly began to guide her towards the bedroom. Rose followed for a few steps, then stopped abruptly. “Wait. If it wasn’t the casserole, what were you laughing about?”
“I’ve just never heard you swear that much. It was so adorable. I’m sorry if I upset you, sweetheart, but I just couldn’t help myself.”
Rose sauntered back up to him. “It’s your fault I do it, you know.”
“Of course it fucking is.” It might be a bad habit, the swearing, but it was a part of who he was. And, weirdly, Rose picking it up reminded him of how in sync they were and it made him quite proud.
“You don’t feel even a little bad that you’ve totally corrupted me with that mouth of yours?”
Ian grinned. “Not at all, Rose Tyler.” He kissed her hard, plunging his tongue into her mouth eagerly. “Not one fucking bit.”