Work Text:
TT: So I’ve been doing some research.
GT: Research? Into what? More technobaubles?? New wiring techniques for your miniature creations??? A better personality for the dang blasted intelligent line of programming that spends all of his computing power thinking of ways to antagonize me???? Ill have you know that hes been mimicking your chumhandle my friend.
TT: What?
GT: Just last night he got on and masqueraded as you.
TT: Dude. That was me talking to you.
GT: What?? But you were being
TT: I was being what?
GT: *sweat drop* Uhhhh...
TT: Spill.
GT: Nothing. Never you mind. Im much more interested in your topic of research that you were mentioning before i started chewing on my foot.
TT: Whatever.
TT: I’ve been researching in what you’ll need for your ‘adventure’ to the other side of the island. You were sighing over the possibility like it was a fair maiden that needed rescuing from the disastrous fire breathing dragon. Or possibly that is was like the enslaved fire breathing dragon needing to be rescued from the demanding and overbearing fair maiden. Whichever one works better for you.
TT: And in conclusion of my research, it seems like you are not quite prepared to undertake this journey.
GT: Not quite prepared???
GT: What malarkey are you spewing dirk?
TT: You were not preparing to take the appropriate equipment.
TT: I am sure your skills are up to par and substantial enough to wrestle this task to the ground.
TT: But you need the proper support to aid you through the journey. Like a good bra as my dear older sister would describe.
GT: Dirk!!! I dont need a bra!!!
TT: It seems you have missed the point.
TT: Nevertheless, I think it would be prudent to procure the following for such a trek:
TT: A GPS tracker.
TT: A first aid kit.
TT: Non perishable food that could last you a couple days. With your voracious appetite that might be tricky but I could write out a ration program for you if you’d like.
TT: Lots of water. At least a quart for every hour you believe the trip should take you.
GT: Dirk.
TT: Good boots.
TT: Sunscreen. Waterproof 100 SPF is preferable.
TT: Bug spray.
GT: Dirk!
TT: Swiss army knife. Or a multi functional substitute.
GT: Dirk! Stop!
TT: Yes?
GT: Im fine. Ill be fine. Its not going to be as epic as you are making it out to be. Ive been on many adventures before.
TT: With what equipment.
GT: Out of that list.... good boots?
GT: I got boots, my double pistols, and these fab shorts!
GT: You like my shorts if i recall.
TT: Hardly adequate protection against the environments that you might be traveling through.
GT: Worry wart.
TT: Yes. I am worried about your safety.
TT: I’d rather my boyfriend stay healthy and in one piece while I am not there to protect you myself.
GT: Ooop! Whats that i hear??
GT: I do believe the jungle is calling my name!
GT: Oh i think i just felt a little earthquake too.
GT: Better run before the volcano blows luv!
GT: HUZZAH! OFF I GO I’LL BE SAILING HOME IN A FORTNIGHT DOLL!!
-- golgothasTerror [GT] has ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --
TT: What?
TT: No.
TT: Jake.
TT: Get back here.
TT: Jake!
“That asshole!” Dirk slams the keyboard against the desk in frustration. “Why am I dating a fucking moron? If you live on a mostly uninhabited island you can’t just do adventuring all willy nilly. Fuck.” He ran a hand over his face. And then through his hair. And then over his face again. If the robot that he had sent for his birthday hadn’t malfunctioned a month ago he would have turned it on and gone after his rogue boyfriend himself. Unfortunately the parts were taking their dear sweet time getting shipped out to the assbackwards middle of the ocean island Jake was living on. And then Dirk would have to walk him through the near surgical repair.
And he couldn’t exactly do that if Jake was actually lost somewhere in that wild jungle with all of the strange and dangerous fauna that lurk in its shadowed depths.
“Fuck!”
He stands up from his desk, the chair rolling away from behind him to bounce off of Dave’s bed. The glint of a nearby sword catches his attention. It spurs and idea that is just what he needs to kill some time and burn off some of his righteous anger before he can properly worry about his farflung boyfriend.
The bedroom door bangs against the wall, startling Dave on the futon.
“Damn, Dirk. What has the door ever done to you? I can hear it weeping all the way over here. You’ve hurt its oaky feelings. I think its piney edges are bruised. You should kiss it and make it better.”
“Strife. Roof.”
Dave’s hand snaps up just in time to catch the sheathed katana thrown in his direction. “You are starting to sound more and more like Bro. I don’t know if that is a good thing. I’m getting conflicting feelings here. Like part of my brain says hot, you like Bro and Bro is hot so that makes Dirk hot, but then the other side of my brain says no, Bro is Bro and Dirk is Dirk and do not cross the streams and I can’t believe I just quoted Egbert. I bet he already knows. I bet I am going to get a text from him in three, two, one.” The phone in his hand stays silent and he gives an over exaggerated frown at it. His attention is drawn back up in surprise when Dirk growls at him before stalking out the front door and presumably up to the roof.
Ding!
“You are fucking annoying, Egbert. Be on time for once in your life.” He quickly types out an answer.
GT: hi dave!
TG: that was embarrassing
TG: now i need to get my ass kicked
TG: by the wrong brother
TG: dont have time for you egbert
TG: mumble mumble grumble
GT: what?
The open air is not calming at all. The usual breezes toy with his hair and he wishes he could swat them away. There is some jackass laying on their horn just because traffic isn’t going according to their schedule. The crows that haunt the edges of the rooftop gossip like old ladies and Dirk gets the feeling he is the topic of conversation. The sun feels oppressive and he feels a drop of sweat already roll between his shoulder blades.
He’s about to start taking his frustration out on the air conditioning unit when Dave finally comes out from the stairwell.
“Everything okay, bro?”
“Shut up. Sword up.”
Dave rolls his shoulders to loosen up before complying just in time to catch Dirk’s swing. It’s harder than normal and leaves his hands buzzing a little. Dave frowns a little at Dirk’s reactions but Dirk doesn’t catch the expression. He bleeds out his rage through heavy shot after heavy shot until it is tempered down to a cool simmering fire that hones the edges of his thoughts, making the thoughts that he wants to get away from all so much clearer.
Dave makes a break for the open air just as Dirk tries to pin him against the wall. He almost makes it cleanly but a sudden change in the direction of Dirk’s sword brings the back side down against Dave’s ankle. He yelps in pain and almost doesn’t make the block for the next hit.
Dirk can’t help imagining his stupid ass boyfriend alone on a dangerous island fighting dangerous fauna alone.
Dave has to hop around as Dirk aims again for his legs, this time with the bladed side. His ankle still throbs and he lands poorly on it, making pain shoot up his calf. He almost calls out for a break but Dirk is continuing to press him dangerously.
Dirk can’t help Jake from the middle of Texas. Dirk can’t suddenly get to the middle of the Pacific Ocean if something was to happen.
Dave tried changing tactics and lunges forward only to have Dirk catch his shoulder in a glancing blow where the tip of his sword tears at his shirt. There is no hot sting of drawn blood but Dave knows there is going to be a line shaped bruise by the end of the night.
Jake could be dead but Dirk wouldn’t know for days. The people closest to Jake, physically closer, wouldn’t know for days. Would they know to even tell Dirk?
Dodging the next couple strikes, Dave manages to get within Dirk’s swing only to be met with a cross punch with Dirk’s other fist. Dave imagines time slowing down to watch the spit fly out of his mouth as the punch lands solidly on his cheek and makes his head ring.
Dirk fights against the feeling of helplessness. He is strong. He is resourceful. He can do anything he sets his mind to. (Except convince Jake to be smart and safe.)
Dave can barely hold his sword upright and Dirk’s next supercharged swing accompanied by a howl of mixed emotions knocks it completely out of his hands. The backhanded follow up knocks Dave to the ground and yep, this time there is blood, he thinks as he tries to regain the breath that was knocked out of his lungs by the impact against the ground. Yep, this hurts. Dave really hopes that Dirk isn’t going to follow up anymore. Maybe he finally got everything out of his system, Dave prays to whatever might be listening out there as the stars in front of his face start to clear. Aren’t they supposed to be birds? They are usually yellow chirping birds that fly around people’s head. Dave would like crows instead.
Dirk is strong. He is strong enough to protect people. He is strong enough to protect Jake if Jake would just let him. He is strong enough to protect Dave... right?
Dirk looks at his brother now on the ground. His heart clenches. He’s fucked it up this time. Fucking control freak. His twin’s face is swelling and there is a long slice down his front. His blood runs cold at knowing he caused that. Of course he’s strong. He’s a fucking Strider. Dirk’s not helpless, just stupid.
Panicked Dirk drops to his knees and reaches out to grab Dave’s head as he watches Dave’s eyes close too slowly for a blink. They open immediately back up and try to assess the threat as Dave’s body really can’t take much more right now without some sort of recovery.
“I surrender,” he flinches at Dirk’s sudden movement. “Please, Dirk.”
“Shit fuck. Fuck fuck shit. Damn it!” Dirk tries to blink back the tears but a few escape down his cheek.
“Whoa whoa. No. No crying. That’s my job. Dirk, you’re okay. You’re alright. Just let it out. Hit me if you need to. A little more pain can’t hurt.” Dave pushes himself up to his elbow to get closer to Dirk. “I can take it. C’mon. I know those cogs are turning a billion miles a minute up there. Shoosh now. You needed a way out. Just tell me what happened. Scrooge McD cut off your allowance? Godzilla Bro step on a project? Jungle boy piss you off? Oh that’s it,” Dave murmurs as he feels Dirk flinch at the reference to Jake. “Just gimme a sec and I can get back up.”
“Dave, shut up.”
“No seriously, I could go another round. Ah, what’s the line since apparently I’m into quoting movies today... ‘Bah! Just a flesh wound!’”
Dirk falls to his butt, pulling Dave slightly with him. Dave hisses as the bending affects the cut across his chest but he’s not going to complain when Dirk buries his head into his shoulder and lets out a sob.
“So fucking useless.”
“Says who? I’ll go beat them up for you.”
“Says me.”
“That makes beating them up a little harder seeing as you just kicked my ass seven ways to Sunday.”
“Shut up.”
“Nope. Gotta make sure you are okay first. And as you just won, that makes me your slave and a slave’s number one duty is to their master so what can I do to make you feel better.”
“I don’t know,” Dirk mumbles into his shirt.
“Okay, let’s start with telling me what happened. I would at least like to know the reason for my beatdown. And it better be good. Not like he gave you lilies instead of roses because you know how allergic Bro is to romantic overtures. Now if he gave you white chocolate instead of milk, that’s a bit more worthy of the ass kicking I just got.”
“Jake wants to go an adventure but he’s stupid and going to get himself killed and I won’t be there to save him and they won’t tell me he’s dead and- and-”
“Whoa, slow down. Jake’s always going on adventures which I am pretty sure is just a romp through his backyard because I’m pretty sure he’s still like ten which makes you bit of a pervert but I’ve seen those shorts so I can’t blame you. Whatever grand adventure he has planned can’t be that bad. Plus, he’s survived how many years out there. I’m pretty sure he actually does know what he’s doing. He’s just being his usual obtuse self again. In fact, I bet he’s at his computer right now downloading the latest B rated movie he can fine. Probably not even pirating it. He probably legally bought it and downloaded it and is thinking about how to ask you to a movie night.”
“That- that actually sounds like him.”
“I know right? What a dweeb. He doesn’t even download movies from pirate bay. What kind of hooligan is he?”
“You aren’t even dating him. How do you-”
“Do you know how many of those skype calls you have while I am sitting right there trying to study. I’ll give you a hint. All of them. I’m practically dating him as well, though I doubt he could name my favorite color because it’s not like I get a word in edgewise on those romantic cyber trysts.” Dave hopes he is distracting Dirk enough that he doesn’t notice the blood seeping into his shirt until it scabs over. The swelling on his cheek won’t go down so easily but Dirk seems attached to his other side so he should be fine for now. “It’s not red by the way if that was going to be your answer.”
“Heh, of course it’s not red. Why would it be red?”
“Finally someone who gets me.” Dave softly breathes a sigh of relief. It seems like Dirk has worked out his issues with a little physical release and some therapeutic counseling.
“I’m your twin, dork.”
“Is that why we look the same?”
“Yes, idiot.” He pulls Dave in for a hug and catches the wince he makes at the movement. He pushes Dave away far enough to take a look. “Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.” Dave’s eye is almost shut from how much his cheek is swelling up. Dirk’s hands brush aside the tatters of Dave’s shirt to get a good look at how far down the cut goes. “Oh god, what have I done to you? I’m horrible. Fuck.”
“You owe me a shirt,” Dave jokes back.
“Dave please stop joking at me and take this seriously for five seconds. How bad’s the damage? I didn’t break any ribs right? Is first aid kit going to cut it? Or do we need to get out the emergency kit and stitch you up?” Dirk sets about patting him down, pressing along his sides and arms. “I should take you to the hospital and turn myself in for assault and battery before Bro can find me and beat the shit out of me. I deserve it.”
“Dirk, I’ll be fine. You don’t deserve it. Okay, maybe a little. But I’ll put in an argument for mercy if you help me get downstairs. I think I’ve sprained my ankle and all the goodies in the first aid kit sound wonderful right now. And don’t poke the ankle!” Dave tries to pull his leg back from where Dirk is prodding it.
“Yeah, it’s probably sprained not broken. I’m still a piece of shit though. I’m sorry for beating you up.”
“As long as you are alright now, it’s worth it. So what do you want for your win? Though you are going to have to put up with damaged goods.”
“I demand that you tell me what you want to do.”
“What? I’m not sure that’s how it works.”
“My prize is whatever you want to do. It’s either that or I’ll make you ask Bro for a bullwhip - and we both know he probably has one - and lash me until I’m mollified for my sins.”
“Cuddles after first aid,” Dave replies quickly. “And possibly a movie. Maybe even the one Jake has downloaded if the reviews tell us that we won’t want to stab our eyes out with rusty spoons watching it.”
“Have you ever had a review say that?”
“Yes. For The Room.”
“Gotcha.” Dirk climbs to his feet and pulls Dave up, careful to keep his weight off the bad foot. He lets Dave balance for a second as he collects the swords and then acts as Dave crutch on the slow journey downstairs.
Dirk guides Dave to the bathroom and makes him sit on the toilet lid. Dirk pulls off his ruined shirt and tosses it in the trashcan. He helps Dave out of his pants when Dave yelps as he tries to take off his shoes. He grabs the first aid kit from the cabinet and lays out all the tools he’ll need on the nearby counter.
Dave leans back to let Dirk use the gauzes to sop up the extra blood. He cringes prematurely when he sees Dirk reach for the hydrogen peroxide. Dirk takes it nice and slow, loading up a gauze before applying it to his skin before Dave gets fed up and grabs the bottle. He tips it over his chest and twists his body just enough so the bubbling liquid runs the length of the shallow cut.
“Fuck fuck fuck,” Dave breathes out against the stinging.
“We could have done it my way,” Dirk grumbles as he mops up the extra runoffs.
“And we would be here until Bro came home and made me bathe in the stuff.”
As soon as the skin in dried, Dirk wraps a long piece of gauze across his chest and over his shoulder several time, patting it down as he goes. When he leans forward to roll the gauze down Dave’s back, his stomach brushes over Dave’s boxers and the apparent erection underneath. He’s not surprised, especially with Dave’s pain kink. All of the soft touches and gentle pain from cleaning him up, bandaging, and even tying off the gauze would get him riled.
Dirk’s hands smooth down the stripe of white across his chest before falling to his waist to tug at Dave’s boxers.
“Dirk, what are you doing?” Dirk doesn’t answer as he pulls out Dave’s cock, the waistband snug against the base. “Seriously, what are you-” He gasps as Dirk’s mouth catches the tip of his cock. “Oh!” Dirk swirls his tongue around and starts a shallow bob. “Oooh,” Dave moans softly. Dirk wraps his hand around the rest of his length and strokes it in time with his lips. “Oh, oh. Oh. Oh! No!”
Dirk is yanked off by his hair. He looks up confused at Dave’s flushed face.
“Sorry. Can’t. Ow. Yeah, no. Not feeling it. Too sore to react properly. Hurting too much in not a good way. And yeah, no sympathy slash guilt blow jobs for you. Dick is off limits. Let it run wild and free.”
“Are you sure?”
“Get me some fucking ice and arnica for my face and ankle. Those need more attention than my damn dick,” Dave grumbles at Dirk who looks away sheepishly. He climbs to his feet and does what Dave asks. The cool arnica salve feels good against his heated skin on his face. Dirk helps Dave get to his bed before retrieving the ice. He returns with two bags of ice wrapped in thin towels, a handful of pain medication, and a tall bottle of chilled apple juice. Dave makes grabby hands from where he has built a nest for two out of the sheets. Dirk laughs at him as he passes the consumables before applying the ice to the appropriate locations.
He strips down to his own boxers and snags his laptop before crawling in next to Dave. When he flips it open there’s a chat box waiting for him.
-- golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --
GT: Dirk?
GT: Im sorry ive been such a meathead.
GT: I really screwed the pooch in our last conversation.
GT: Not that i actually fucked a canine.
GT: But you know what i mean.
GT: I should take your concerns into consideration.
GT: I know you mean well and i know you care. Thats never been a question.
GT: And i just wanted to let you know that i didnt get farther than the edge of my backyard before realizing that it would be handy to have a couple of those items that you listed before i traverse too far.
GT: And doesnt that little metal doohickey that is mimicking a heap of scrap have gps capabilities? I guess my adventures will be held off until he can get him up and running and in the meantime i shall pursue that list of yours and procure some of them so that i can make it across safely.
GT: Hrm...
GT: It doesnt seem like you are online.
GT: I hope you arent exasperated at my previously ungentlemanly behavior.
GT: Dirk? You arent peeved at me right?
GT: I guess i should download something while i wait for your forgiveness.
-- timaeusTestified is an idle chum --
GT: Give me a ping when you get back in luv.
“Told ya so,” Dave murmurs over Dirk’s shoulder.
“Now I feel like a piece of utter shit not even worthy of being scraped off the bottom of your shoe. I am the worst brother ever. Strip me of my name and toss me to the curb.”
Dave just grabs Dirk’s face and turns it until he can softly kiss him. He kisses him until he feels Dirk relax into it.
“Good Strider. Best brother.”
“You are such a dork.”
“Love you too.” Dave snuggles into his side. “Now let’s see if what he got is palatable.”
TT: What did you download?
GT: Oh there you are!
GT: Youre not mad at me are you?
Dirk feels guilty about answering until Dave reaches over and types it in.
TT: nah im good
GT: Are you sure there? Your typing declares that you are a bit out of sorts.
TT: One line, English, and you know my disposition? Shit, you are better than my sister and she’s got that uncanny valley going on when it comes to predicting shit.
GT: Ah! Back to normal. Right as rain i guess.
GT: Anyways *smoothly changes topic* i downloaded a true gem this time. I believe it will even live up to strider standards!
Dave doesn’t hide the scoff he makes at the green text. Dirk is about to elbow him before he remembers the injuries and instead feels a wave of guilt.
TT: Well, we can put it to the test if you have time for a stream.
GT: A movie date? Certainly! Give me a jiff to set it up!
TT: Date, plus one. Dave’s hanging out too.
Dirk kisses the top of Dave’s head. Dave nuzzles against his chest.
GT: Oh well then i have to impress a bigger audience!
GT: And keep our proverbial hands to ourselves i guess.
GT: As if wed have any attention to spare away from this fantastic movie!
Dave flat out snorts at Jake. Even Dirk is chuckling a little.
TT: Just send us the link, Jake.
GT: Right away! I aim to please!
GT: Through service! Not sexually! At least not with your brother there. *tugs on collar*
TT: You’d service me? *raises eyebrow*
GT: DIRK!
Dave starts to laugh and then winces at the pain when his chest moves.
“Shit. Dave, no laughing.”
“Then tell your boy to stop making me laugh.”
TT: Stop making Dave laugh.
GT: What!?!? Arg! You striders!
TT: What about us Striders? We’re sexy? We’re handsome? We’re devilishly charming? We’re still waiting on a link to the stream?
GT: ARGH!!!
Eventually they get things settled and start the movie. True to Jake’s prediction, they don’t chat with him often even though they keep the box off to the side of the screen. Dave and Dirk crack many jokes at the poor movies expense. They manage to keep the humor dry enough that Dave isn’t tempted to laugh and hurt himself further, but they both grin.
Sometime during the middle the jokes trail off. Dirk listens to Dave’s breathing becomes slow and regular as the medication kicks in and he falls asleep.
TT: Hey Jake.
GT: Yes luv?
TT: I actually
TT: I actually did get really mad.
GT: Oh.
TT: Yeah.
TT: And I was kind of a dumbass and took it out on Dave in a strife. I really beat him up. Bleeding, black eye, and almost a broken ankle. I really did a number on him because I was stupid and angry. Angry over you telling me that you could handle yourself like you have for past eighteen years. Angry over nothing. I hurt him over nothing but my own stupid fucking feelings. I’m a terrible brother. A god awful boyfriend. A disgrace of a Strider. A miserable worthless guy.
GT: Oh fucking diddly i didn't realize it upset you that much luv. Im sorry i was such a gosh darned fucking nincompoop.
GT: You arent worthless and you are a great boyfriend! I know you care about me and i know you care about dave even if you might get a wee bit carried away sometimes. I love you and i am pretty sure dave does too and will no matter what happens.
GT: Now wake dave back up before he misses the rest of the movie!
TT: Of course.
TT: And, I love you too.
Dirk pulls one of the blankets up over Dave’s shoulder and doesn’t fuss about the pool of drool on his chest. He’s just fine with the reassurance that the two of them wouldn’t hate his guts.