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"Come on, let me... let me touch you, for fucks sake." Gladio muttered, pressing a hand to his forehead in frustration. He could feel his anger, never far beneath the surface lately, threatening to rise and he breathed through it. He could not get angry at Ignis. He would not.
Ignis who just sat there quietly. So isolated in his own damn head. "I do," his tone was so mild, so unlike him that Gladio's temper flared again.
He made himself shut up until he was sure he was in control. Ignis was the last person to deserve his anger right now, even though he just... sat there. Though he could be passive, the advisor had always had an opinion, had some fucking thing to say. He'd take the lead the moment he was needed and was always there to look after everyone.
Now he sat in silence, like he was trying to disappear. It made Gladio ache deep in his chest, and he knelt down in front of Ignis with a sigh. The way he stared forwards, unseeing and unaware, hurt even more. The kingsguard put a hand on his knee.
"C'mon, Iggy," it took great effort, but he got the closest to his regular playful tone that he had in weeks. "You know that's not what I mean."
Ignis' mouth might have pulled into a very slightly tighter line.
"Let me comfort you a little bit, least when we're alone." It was the most straightforward he'd been. Yeah, he'd been around every damn second, making sure Ignis was okay. He'd been gentle and supportive since day one, but he'd also been respectful of every wish to be left alone. Every time Ignis had shrugged his hands off, he'd immediately stepped back. Maybe he was wrong to do it, because he was just watching the man he loved become more and more withdrawn.
"I'll be fine." The clipped little answer he had for everything now.
"I want to help you," Gladio's tone was already slipping, his voice becoming a frustrated growl. He was so sick of hearing that same lie. "Everyone knows you're not fine." As soon as he said it he regretted it, knew it was probably like a punch to the gut, but it was too late. He watched Ignis' mouth tighten again, a definite thing this time.
"I will manage," his voice was still level, how did he do that?
"I know that," Gladio said it quietly in the hope it wouldn't sound angry that way, but he had a feeling it still did. "No one fucking doubts you, okay? It's not about that." He definitely sounded like he wanted a fight now, and he knew it. Maybe he did want a fight, because he certainly wanted Ignis to do anything, anything at all other than sit there impassively.
Normally, he would've gotten his ass kicked if he'd come at Ignis with this tone. He wouldn't have even had a chance to say this much. The advisor always stood up for himself, always insisted on respect. Gladio didn't want to get angry, but seeing Ignis so weak was infuriating. He got up suddenly, took a few steps away in an attempt to control himself. Losing his temper at Noctis was one thing, but his partner - his disabled partner, for fucks sake - was unacceptable.
Even walking away didn't really get a reaction. "Ignis!" It wasn't exactly a shout, but he was getting there. "Talk to me! Dammit, that's all I want."
Slowly, Ignis stood, feeling for his cane. Despite his anger Gladio found himself back at the advisor's side almost before he realized it, hand light on his lower back. It had become instinct.
"There's nothing to say," Ignis' voice was almost a whisper, but he didn't step back. There was barely a handspan between them, and Gladio watched the hand not gripping the cane tremble minutely. It made him feel sick. He grabbed Ignis' chin, maybe more firmly than normally he would - not that he could've ever gotten away with that - and forced his head up. They couldn't meet eyes, and as much as it stung, as much as it made his resolve waver to stare into those scars, he hoped the gesture would still have meaning. "There is nothing to say," Ignis repeated, and frustratingly his tone was even and regular again. "I am blind. Nothing will change that. We both know my vision will not likely return. No words will alter the fact that I must now rely on others and learn to adapt." His voice was cold; he had once again separated his situation from his feelings. Fuck. So close.
"And it's obvious how much that bothers you," Gladio growled. "You're not fooling anyone. Let us help you. Let me fucking help you!"
"Gladio," he didn't still didn't sound angry. Just exhausted. He was indicating he was done having this conversation.
Well that was just too bad, because Gladio wasn't done.
If he were being truthful, he wanted Ignis to hit him; or to shove him away, or to command him to stop. That's what he would've expected Ignis to do. The only time he'd seen the man he knew and loved since all this shit went down was when he and Noctis got snapped at for bitching at each other outside the king's tomb. The determination Ignis had there, demanding to come with them. That was the real him.
"Who are you right now," Gladio searched his face for anger and saw none, but there was no fear there either. "You're not weak Iggy, okay? You listening? You're not this fucking weak." Gladio watched his brow furrow, and released his jaw, the tightness in his own chest lightening. "You're one of the strongest men I've met. I can't watch you act like a damn corpse anymore."
"Don't concern yours-"
Gladio didn't realize he was putting his fist through the wall until he'd already heard the crack; already felt specks of plaster dusting his hand. A bone-deep throb ran from his knuckles up his forearm, but it was nothing compared to the stab of guilt he felt when he saw the startled look on Ignis' face.
You could have hit him.
There was a long moment in which Gladio knew he couldn't stay, but wouldn't let himself strand Ignis in this room. Then Ignis stepped forwards, bringing them so close together that their chests nearly touched, and a gloved hand searched lightly over his chest and neck to find his face. Fingertips lingered there like they were afraid to really touch, really feel, and when Ignis spoke his voice sounded raw with emotion. It was not something the kingsguard could ever remember hearing from him.
"Gladio, you've done enough."
"Never," Gladio said it with all the conviction he had, and though he didn't feel like he deserved to pull Ignis any closer, he used the guiding hand on his back to do just that. For a moment Gladio was sure he was going to pull away, but he just sighed and - very uncharacteristically - rested his head on the bigger man's shoulder.
"I'm of no use now," Ignis muttered, so vulnerable that Gladio had to catch his breath. He tightened his arm protectively around that slim waist. In all their time together, he'd never thought he'd see Ignis like this.
"Don't be stupid. We'd be fucked without you."
"Says the man who told me that everyone was taking a risk if I came?" Somehow, he didn't sound bitter. Just tired. Probably should be bitter. Gladio kicked himself for saying it.
"Look, I just..." he had to admit it. He knew he owed it to Ignis to admit it. "I can't lose you. Already came close enough." His voice stayed remarkably steady, and he was thankful for that.
This time, both hands traced up his neck to find his face. Despite the fact that Ignis needed to do that to see, it still felt intimate. He took a shaky breath, and Gladio slid his hand higher up the man's back to steady him.
Ignis took him by surprise when he leaned up to kiss him. Far from initiating, a full kiss was something he'd been pulling away from since his injury. Gladio could not be happier. Aside from his partner acting just a little more normal; he loved to kiss. The closeness, the warmth, the wet slide of it despite what a neat kisser Ignis was. Most of all, he loved the feeling that he was witness to a part of the man that no one else had the privilege of experiencing.
"Let me fuck you," Gladio whispered against his lips, not expecting his voice to be as husky as it was. "Please, Iggy, let me fuck you."
"I would like that." His voice was still quiet, but he sounded marginally more like himself. He slowly lowered his hands, and Gladio was disappointed until he saw that Ignis was pulling his gloves off. Damn, that was usually pretty hard won. "I would also like to see you properly, if I may."
"Hell yes," it was impossible to stop a grin as he leaned in for another kiss. Those words had undone all of his worries at once. Ignis connecting with anything at this point would have been cause for celebration; that he wanted to do it with Gladio, in such an intense and intimate way...
Bare fingers traced along the curve of his shoulder, up his neck, back down to the hollow of his throat. The movements were much more confident than before, and Gladio was more than content to let him touch for now.
"What are you smiling about?" Ignis asked as the pads of his fingers slid over Gladio's mouth.
"Just missed you, Iggy."
"Now, now. I haven't gone anywhere." Holy shit, Ignis was actually teasing. There was a certain sadness in his face - the tiniest hint that Gladio was sure no one else would even notice - that said he knew how absent he really had been.
"Well, keep that up." Gladio gave him a smirk he couldn't see and hooked off his dark glasses. When Ignis furrowed his brow questioningly, he added, "they always end up stabbing me. Wanted to look at you anyways."
"This isn't really the time to check on my wounds," his tone was still playful, but the tightness in his face said he was self conscious. Gladio wasn't exactly surprised, but it was something he'd never encountered in Ignis before.
"Good thing I just wanted to look at you," he grunted. He bent and pressed a gentle kiss to the scarred eyelid, because he knew his partner would not stand for an honest explanation of how he really didn't find the scars repulsive; how he would be a hypocrite if he did besides. They were a mark of Ignis' bravery, nothing less.
"Hmm," he shied away a little from the kiss, but didn't protest. "Guide me to the bed."
It was probably a good thing he couldn't see how much Gladio was grinning. The kingsguard had never in his life thought he'd be so happy to be bossed around, and he knew if he made a big deal out of it Ignis would withdraw again. He drew them both towards the bed; and as always he was completely trusted.
There was a moment where he had no idea what to do. The way things were now and how they had been seemed too incomparably different. Then Ignis grabbed the front of his shirt and jerked him down with the considerable strength he of course still possessed - how could Gladio forget - and they fell heavily onto the bed together.
"Don't be gentle with me." Ignis muttered in his ear, his tone very clearly implying 'don't you dare'. Those words pushed away the rest of Gladio's worries and made him almost achingly hard in one go. He looked down at Ignis, at the slightly sour expression on his face that'd always used to be there, at the one milky eye that had absently fluttered open because he'd stopped concentrating on keeping it closed. Gladio was completely, dizzyingly overwhelmed with love for the man underneath him. Fuck, he could cry.
Ignis gave him a light smack upside the head, and he'd been so absorbed he was actually mildly startled. "What exactly are you doing?"
He dropped his weight a little, letting Ignis feel the crush of his body. Since Iggy couldn't see him, he'd have to make this as sensual as possible. That was more than fine with him, he was a pretty physical guy. Ignis' hands raked over his shoulders, then plucked at his tank top. "Take this off."
Before, Gladio would have sat back and made a show out of it, slowly pulling his top off and displaying his chest. Now, he barely lifted himself up enough to squirm out of it, wanting to keep as much contact between them as he could. Ignis' hands were immediately sliding down his body, feeling every curve. Gladio couldn't believe how turned on he was. He was used to Ignis being very exclusive with his touching, not to mention resisting taking his gloves off as long as he could. This was not a change Gladio had a problem with. Even without the fact that it was his reserved partner with hands all over him, something about the searching, almost hungry way he was touching made it even hotter.
Grabbing him roughly by the hips, Gladio flipped them. Generally speaking there was nothing better for both of them than Ignis straddling his lap, and keeping him in a vulnerable position didn't seem like a worthwhile risk anyways. He had never really thought of the man as vulnerable, but with how he'd been acting lately...
Besides, he missed Ignis riding his dick.
He grabbed Ignis' ass firmly with both hands, groping him through the leather pants he was unfortunately still wearing, and dragging him a few inches closer so they were flush against each other again. Nimble hands threaded through his hair, at first gently but then his head was wrenched back and Ignis claimed his mouth. His aim was good. He only missed a little, and Gladio was too busy being hot for him to really notice. He pulled Ignis' hips down against his, grinding the two of them messily together. He wanted to make sure his partner could feel how fucking hard he was, especially since it had been so long. He didn't want Ignis to have the slightest shadow of a doubt that he was still gorgeous, that he was still capable of driving Gladio completely crazy.
"I'll need a little longer than usual," Ignis sounded a little breathless, damn that was hot. Not to mention the pink high on his cheeks. It was looking like someone really needed this.
"Yeah, been a long time." Gladio's voice was husky, his fingers ran along the skin just over the band of those tight pants, teasing the sensitive little dips that ran down from his hip bones. "Don't worry, Iggy. Not in a rush."
"I'm not particularly keen on taking things slow, just now." Ignis had that bitchy little edge to his voice now and god, Gladio had missed that. He'd never wanted anything more this past while than for this man to nag him.
"Get your pants off, then." Gladio teased. Watching his face was fascinating. Somehow, probably due to lack of expression from his eyes, he looked much less guarded now. A tiny smirk played on his lips, and his fingertips trailed down Gladio's face again.
"You're the one who put me here," Ignis kneeled up to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants.
"Guess I was too eager," Gladio helped him back off of his lap, despite knowing he could've done it on his own. Ignis had always been shockingly good at getting out of leather pants, and he did not disappoint. Gladio took the opportunity to kneel up and squirm out of his own. Both of them removed their briefs without consulting each other; clearly not wanting anything else to get in the way.
Lately, the only time Gladio had seen him naked was helping him figure out how to bathe and get dressed without being able to see. That was about as nonsexual as something could be, so when Ignis patted for his knee and crawled into his lap unassisted, Gladio started on his shirt buttons.
"I want you totally naked for once."
"Very well," Ignis shrugged out of his button up, then stripped off his undershirt with no further prompting. Eagerly, Gladio wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled them chest-to-chest. He pressed wet kisses on bare shoulders like it was the last thing he'd ever do, and when he moved to the hollow of Ignis' throat he felt fingertips trace a line over his bicep and shoulder before that hand grabbed a tight fistful of hair.
"Don't bite," to say Ignis said it firmly was an understatement. A shiver ran down Gladio's spine, and he held his partner closer; a large hand protective on that familiar curve of his lower back.
"Yes Sir," he muttered, only half teasing. God, he was so hard it hurt. Those light little caresses that Ignis was using to see were so erotic it might be the death of him yet. As his hand moved to cup the curve of Ignis' ass, he had a moment of panic - there was no way he had lube.
"Check my pants," Ignis rested his chin against Gladio's head, which was both incredibly uncomfortable and really nice.
"How'd you..."
"You froze," he let both of his arms sit on Gladio's shoulders, more visibly relaxed than he'd been for what seemed like ever.
As Gladio reached for his pants and patted the pockets, he realized that meant Ignis had been wanting this. God damn, how had he not noticed? As he was fumbling to get the packet open as fast as possible, it came to him that he'd probably been too protective. He'd been so busy making sure that Ignis was alright and caring for him that somewhere between his worry and his grief he'd started losing his image of the man as his partner.
As he pressed his slick fingers up between Ignis' legs, he stopped kicking himself to watch his face. He knew he wouldn't get much, and he didn't want to miss it this time of all times. There was a sharp intake of breath as he pressed inside with one finger, and he pulled Ignis close to him again. Biting might not be allowed, but hickeys were and the shoulder right in front of his mouth was too good of an opportunity for Gladio to miss.
It was obvious it had been a while, but Gladio didn't mind. As eager as he was to actually fuck Ignis, he was happy for now with the intimacy. Getting to leave marks under his partner's dress shirt was a reward in and of itself, not to mention having him relaxed and warm and pliant in his lap.
"Tell me when you're ready, Iggy," he breathed against the red welt he was leaving. "No rush." He pushed in another finger, pretty good at telling by now when it wasn't going to hurt.
"I told you not to be gentle," Ignis' voice was slightly strained. Gladio smirked and hooked his fingers hard. He was rewarded with a sudden jerk, and he started circling the familiar spot. The sound of Ignis' breath hitching and catching was honestly the sexiest thing he'd ever heard.
"Let me fuck you," Gladio grunted, lips still resting against his third love bite. "God, Iggy..."
He looked up at his partner and was almost startled by the absence of the sharp, demanding gaze he was so used to. Looking into that single foggy eye hurt him all over again.
Instead of answering, Ignis started to lower himself. Gladio got the hint and pulled his hand away, moving to guide his cock inside.
He didn't hold back a groan as he slid in - fuck did sex ever feel good - and once Ignis was sat panting on his lap, he couldn't stop himself from muttering a bunch of sappy shit. It was stuff Ignis would smack him for, and he knew it; sweet nothings type stuff. Everything had been so hard since Leviathan, everything had been tainted by the struggle to cope with Ignis' new disability. Their 'I love you's had always been infrequent, more implied than stated, but lately Gladio had been so concerned with pushing him even further into his shell that he hadn't said anything at all. Ignis pulled his head up and kissed him hard. This time, his aim was right on, and Gladio hummed pleasure into his mouth as he kissed back with a fierceness he'd all but forgotten.
Ignis rolled his hips with exactly as much poise and precision as he'd always had, and Gladio's hands settled in the position on his lower back where they felt more comfortable now than ever. Ignis had exceptionally strong legs and needed no help at all lifting himself, so Gladio helped slam him down, helped keep the angle of his body just so, and within moments the advisor was shuddering against his chest.
"I love you too," Ignis breathed against his lips, and he was not someone who said those things without full and obvious sincerity.
"Fuck, Iggy," Gladio growled, his heart jumping in his chest. He could feel how hot his face was, and he also knew he wouldn't make it much longer. "I'm... gonna throw you on your back, okay? You wanted rough?"
There was only a moment's hesitation, then a breathless, "Yes."
Gladio flipped him, pressing his shoulders against the mattress and holding his hips with bruising force as he pounded him with everything he had. There was not much rhythm to speak of, but both of them were past caring. Normally Gladio would be riled up, trying his hardest to make Ignis lose it and cry out, but now he couldn't give less of a shit about that. The sharp, trembling gasp for breath as Ignis came was all he could ever want, and the way his partner's body kept seizing in his arms for what felt like an eternity as he kept thrusting through it was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Then his climax hit him, and that was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
When Gladio pushed himself up, it was to see Ignis neatly wiping a tear away from his open eye with the pad of a thumb. "Overstimulated," he said, his voice a bare whisper.
Whether that was really it or not, Gladio knew better than to comment. He sat back, careful to keep a hand on Ignis, wanting him to know he was still there. The advisor's hands were shaking badly, and Gladio decided to pull him back into his lap regardless of whether he'd protest or not.
He didn't. Ignis settled against him quietly, head resting in the crook of his shoulder and neck. Without question, Gladio knew this was the most genuinely vulnerable he'd ever seen Ignis.
He couldn't be more thankful for that.