Chapter Text
He is my responsibility.
Empty words hiding a deeper meaning behind them.
First, they were used by Kira's mother to make her point clear. A quiet warning for Liam. He quickly understood what she meant. It was an easy statement.
When he repeated the sentence to Scott, he didn’t bother to correct him. He probably knew how much weigh they had on Liam, how heavy they felt. It was the understatement of someone who already lived through that. Scott accepted the words without hesitation. He still remembered the way he looked at Liam when he realized what he just did, how the question came to his mind without any need of words. A question he would have liked to ignore. Running away always seemed easier than dealing with Scott's emotional eyes.
Are you sure about this?
Of course he wasn't sure. He made a big mistake, a really big one. And only because he didn’t want to ruin the mod of victory, he nodded. (Later he said to Scott the blissful phrase because he was still worried.)
It was funny how one tiny action could make everything go to hell.
Perhaps if the situation had slowed itself down and the minutes could turn into hours instead of seconds, perhaps a better idea would have popped into his brain, like calling Kira or something. (Chains crossed his mind more often that he would admit. They were quite useful.) That way, he might have been able to avoid being a prey of his impulses.
Honestly, that wasn't even the first time he did something reckless without caring about the consequences his action could bring. Learn from you mistakes, they said. Hah, better said than done. He could almost hear his mother – Or Stiles – scolding him for not taking in consideration asking for advice. Another opinion in the matter would have worked too.
(Like Malia's, for example. She would have definitely putted him on the boat of beat the shit out of him, and then do something with the sword to sent him back to the hell where he belonged. No one would object on that idea. At least Liam wouldn't. Probably.)
But it didn’t matter any more, because none of that happened. And the decision was already made.
By his own.
In his defence, Liam really though it was the right thing to do, a good solution for his body full of adrenaline.
Just let him go, get rid of him, the wild hunt is over, there is no use for him.
Everyone was safe again. Not forgotten, not gone, not death. He remembered the way it made perfect sense to him, how he knew exactly what to do. Hayden was with him again, Corey and Mason were okay, it all ended perfectly, there was nothing to worry about. So, when he crossed paths again with Scott, he was already determinate to fulfill his desire. He saw them coming out of the woods with ripped clothes and wounds that seemed like nothing at the moment. Malia and the creepy old man – her father? - were beside Scott murmuring things to each other, but Liam didn't care enough to catch their little gossip. He was focus on connect his eyes with the guy behind them. Fast enough, deep blue returned the look without hesitation – Not like he expected to be, it was never like that with him – And just with a soft nod of his own head, the statement was completely understood.
Theo was gone the moment he blinked. Leaving a heavy responsibility on his shoulders.
Ironically, it only took one second for him to realize what he just did. He let Theo go. He let Theo fucking Reaken go. He let a murderer walk around free.
Regret wasn't enough to describe his feelings.
He spend most of the summer searching for a confirmation that Theo wasn't in Beacon Hills any more, a visual prove. The guilt of a bad decision was burning him alive, he still couldn’t believe that Scott let Theo go – That Malia let Theo go – trusting on his judgement like it was the law. Such a deep trust was scary, he didn't deserve it all, most of his life was made of mistakes. Like the way he met Hayden and ended up putting a black bruise on her face. Nobody should trust in his verdicts that much.
But Scott did, and it made everything worse.
What would happen if Theo decided that he wanted his revenge after all? What would happen if he succeeded on stealing Scott's alpha power? (Highly unlikely, but the possibility was there) How would he explain to Stiles that it was him who let that bastard walk around free? How could he keep living knowing that Scott died because of his boldness?
No, no no no.
It couldn't happen, he couldn’t let Theo break them apart again. Not because of him.
All of this was like watching a knife falling slowly into the floor without being able to catch it, but he had to catch it even if it ended up hurting his hands.
Still, he didn't want to catch Theo, he wanted him gone, forever. Looking around the town only served him to assure that Theo wouldn’t be hiding behind his backs while planing some evil crap. Liam was going to make sure he never got the chance to put a finger on his pack. No one would die because of his poor life decisions. Hayden used to tell him that he was being to harsh on himself, that everyone made mistakes. It was cute of her to try to cheer him up, but he was pretty sure no one screw up things as much as he did. Neither as bad as he did.
(Maybe she should be the 'soon-to-be-an-alpha' one, Hayden was a much better leader than him)
Without surprise, Mason ended up making him company on his stubborn research. The first time, Liam tried to make him leave, arguing that he shouldn't be spending his free time looking for a psycho because of Liam. He even use the Corey-card. But Mason was already glued to his side and nothing he could say would make him leave – He even said that Corey would be more than happy to help him too – Liam was kind of touched.
So he let him win. (To his surprise, Corey did accompanied them once.)
“Dude, we have been doing this for almost two months, I think is safe to say that Theo is actually gone.” Mason said one day, trying to make him leave the Theo subject aside.
Didn't work.
Hayden tagged along some of the days too, joining Mason on the convincing thing. Liam had to admit she was always closer than Mason to achieve it – Sorry Mason, girlfriend privileges – although, they never managed to do it. Liam had been told he had a pretty thick head. There wasn't much they could do once he aimed a goal. That didn't mean he liked turning down their offers. There were moments where he wished he could just give up and let their words reach his mind. Find the comfort he had been craving so much, and forget about the possibility of waking up one day to see his friends in the hospital’s morgue. The paranoia was making him mad.
He needed to find Theo. Find Theo and made sure he never left his side again.
Wait what?
A low growl escaped his lips, coming from the back of his throat. Suddenly the air on his lungs seemed to disappear, leaving him with the uncomfortable feeling of suffocation. Liam couldn’t breath – He wondered if this was what Scott felt when he had an asthma attack – he couldn't breath at all. Panic didn’t take long to occupy a big part of his brain while his breath turned faster and faster.
What the hell was happening to him?
The tips of his finger were ticking with anxiety, and his stomach felt like being starved for months. Hot and completely empty. It was making his blood boil. He had to calm down, nothing good would happen if he kept getting desperate. Liam could feel something crawling under his skin, something he could barely contain. It reminded him of the days when the moon was full, how it made him unable to think or see. An animal that only obeyed his instinct. He could hear them now too, way too clearly to be normal. His instincts screaming for him to move. Move and find him. Find him. Find him.
Liam forced his legs to go forward, following the-
Scent.
There was a scent.
It was so soft he almost missed it. But it was there, he could still taste the sweetness of it in his mouth. That was. He needed to find him.
*****
Where was he?
Liam blinked. Then blinked again. And because that wasn't enough, he pressed the back of his hands against his eyes to erase the blurriness on them. His mind was fuzzy too, memories mixed with confused emotions. Get it together Liam, this was nothing considerating the amount of times you were punch in the face on the field – and out of it too – and still being able to keep playing. This dizziness was a gift.
With a couple more of blinks, the fog on his brain started to banish.
Summer was over, Scott and the rest left – except for Malia, he still didn't know where she was, though – Classes were starting. There was not sight of Theo. He actually left.
Except, that wasn't true.
Theo was right there, inside the stupid library. He could see him through the glass of the windows, talking, smiling and actually acting like a human being. Kinda like when they first met him. Yet not the same. Maybe it was the hair, yeah, it was the hair. The floppy style made him seem a lot more approachable, softer than before. Not so hollow.
Almost vulnerable.
No, Theo would never look vulnerable, he was a threat.
Liam should go to class, today was the first day. The coach wouldn’t be pleased when he explained the reason he missed the first practice as a captain. Huh, where did that come from? Was he actually going to skip class? Mason must be really worried about him, Hayden too – He didn't know about Corey, they were in fine terms but not that much – he should turn around and start walking to the school. (Because of course his inner wolf would run instead of just taking the car.) With luck, he might be able to made it for the third period. That was if he actually managed to reach the school, Liam didn't have a single clue of where he was.
Yep, just turn back and go to learn something valuable, like maths.
Come on, move.
Liam was going to left and never look back.
Another growl slipped out of his mouth and seriously, this was ridiculous, it was like fighting with child version of himself. He was not an animal, he didn’t follow instincts. He didn’t want to be there. Long claws buried deep down on the soft part of his hand while his legs kept still despise his orders. Liam was numb standing in front of the small library – Well, as a small a library could be – with a body rejecting him as the controller and a bad headache starting to form on his temples. Just fucking great. His hand was bleeding too, it was a matter of time that the blood slipped onto the floor. Letting go a wince, he decided that if he wanted to leave soon, he would have to gave up to he wolf. Otherwise, it would be most likely he would spend the rest of the day standing there. Liam never hate being a werewolf so much.
The clean hand moved to slowly push the door open. A soft bell ringed when he entered the library. Luckily, no one paid attention to him, he was kinda glad for that. With foots that moved alone he didn’t want to stumble into an old lady. But..
What was he doing...
Liam shouldn't be doing this. He should grab his phone and call Scott to warn him. He should go back to the school before his friends started to worry. He should do something now that he found Theo. He should…
Stop looking at Theo the way he was doing it.
His breath got caught in his throat, at the same time the claws finally released his hand. Liam let himself relax into the smell that was starting to wrap around him like a warm blanked. It was so sweet. He just wanted to get closer and sniff all of his clothes. Or his neck, his neck would work too. Theo didn't seem to acknowledge his presence at all, he was to focus on a conversation with a girl – And is he actually working, like a normal person? He was behind a counter..- she was pretty, Theo was pretty too. But Theo is off the limits, Theo is only suppose to be h-
What the hell was he thinking?
Sniff him? Pretty? He was acting like a possessive dog. What the hell was wrong with him? It made him feel nauseous, sick of his own thoughts. Everything about this was wrong. Even his heartbeat stopped the moment his eyes fell onto the man. It was wrong, so wrong. Only Hayden made his heart skips beats. Not Theo, definitely not Theo.
Never Theo.
This time, Liam was the one who left when the other blinked.