Work Text:
Louis leaned his head against the wall of the elevator, his eyes drooping closed against his will. He had a fairly low key weekend for once, catching up on errands that usually went by the wayside for weeks on end. But regular things like that; paying bills, grocery shopping, attempting to have a social life and the lack of sleep were things that came with the territory when you were a homicide detective. He couldn’t complain too much though, he loved his job; it was interesting, the pay was decent, and he had won the lottery when it came to partners. Louis had his fair share of pompous twats and brown nosers over the years, so when he was paired up with Zayn Malik it was like a breath of fresh air.
Which was a funny way of describing him seeing as he smoked like a chimney and almost never had fresh air around him. But he always brought Louis a coffee in the morning, so he could sort of ignore the smoking. Louis heard the bing of the elevator and peeled himself off the back wall, nodding and smiling at the familiar faces as he made his way to his desk. Zayn was waiting in his chair when he got there, feet kicked up on top, and looking way too much like a model for seven in the morning. Louis smacked his feet off the desk, reaching for the coffee that was shouting his name.
“Can’t you go and look like this at your own desk, it’s too early for your Gucci bullshit,”
Zayn shrugged, sipping from his own venti cup. “Your chair is more comfortable. Besides, someone had to field your daily Eleanor coffee date inquiry,”
Louis groaned, slumping down into the chair next to his desk. “For god's sake, again? When will she ever get the hint?”
Zayn let out a fit of giggles – giggles, honestly. It’s a good thing he has his Gucci model appearance to balance out the twelve year old girl living inside him - while Louis wearily scrubbed a hand over his face. Eleanor worked in archives alongside Niall Horan, a rambunctious little Irishman whose actual full time job was gossping, and has consistently been asking Louis out for coffee since the day she started. Which Louis keeps politely declining, yet she still continues to ask. He has been on the verge of screaming “I like dicks okay!!” after a couple of seventeen hour shifts, but he didn't fancy a lecture from HR. So instead he took deep, calming breaths and refrained.
Zayn smiled over his coffee. “Why don’t you just tell her you’re seeing somebody?”
“Because, Zayn, I don’t feel like making up a fake relationship right now, alright? I’d rather not have to keep up the lie and also be reminded that I don’t actually have one, and that I will probably die old and alone, withering away the last of my years in some dumpy pub.”
Zayn threw his coffee cup away, tapping a smoke out of the package he pulled from his pocket. “Well, that’s wonderfully depressing. I’m just going to have a quick smoke before the morning meet, can you--”
They were interrupted by their boss, Inspector Teasdale, who was looming outside her door, a grim look on her face. “’Fraid’ I’m going to need you guys to get down to a scene, patrol just called in a body down by the docks. They’re waiting for you.”
Louis rolled his eyes, grabbing his jacket and gun holster. “The docks, how original.”
*
When they pulled up to the scene there were already way too many people, which annoyed Louis right off the bat. He grumbled to Zayn as they got out of the car, “That scene better be fucking secure.”
They wandered over to the crowd of people, Louis’ documenting their surroundings. He squinted up at the sun, absently noting that it was going to turn out to be another warm sunny day. He then noticed the meticulous placement of the police caution tape and thought ah yes. Liam.
Liam was their resident blood spatter expert, who was painfully anal with his scenes – which really, they should be thanking him for – but he mostly kept to himself, which made them wonder if he too wasn’t a secret serial killer on the side Dexter Morgan style.
They ducked under the tape and went to hover behind Liam so they could get the run down while he snapped pictures of the body. Zayn cocked his head to the side, scrunching his eyebrows together.
“What do you have for us?”
Liam continued to take pictures, pointing his finger in various places. “Multiple stab wounds, unsure of how many at this point, but enough to make a hell of a mess,”
Louis bent down lower to get a better inspection. “Hmm, so it's pretty safe to say it happened here then. Who called it in?”
Liam nodded over to where one of the patrol cars were parked. “Couple of fishermen heading in for their shift. Cal was the first responder,”
Zayn pulled out his note pad, taking a sketch of the body placement and started to make bullet points on the information Liam had given them. Louis gave him a pat on the back, “I’ll go have a chat with Cal.”
Zayn dismissed him with a wave, crouching down to Liam’s level now as he droned on about the way the blood pooled and the size of the cuts, and a couple other scientific terms that Louis had no plans in learning.
Cal was their favorite beat cop; he had been around long enough to make Sergeant and be the most liked one as well, as people notoriously fought to be transferred to his squad. Louis thinks the weekly end of shift beers had a lot to do with it as well.
Cal grinned around a mouthful of donut when Louis finally reached him, dusting his hands off on his pants. Louis laughed, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You’re keeping the stereotype alive Cal, bravo. Good weekend?”
He leaned against the car, mirroring Louis’ stance. “Can't complain. I got strapped training the newbie over there. Though I must admit, this is a great way to end his final shift in the rotation. Nothing like a dead body to terrorize your dreams for your first set of days off.”
Louis laughed again. “True enough. Best kind of initiation. So, you guys were on scene first?”
Cal straightened up, nodding his head. “Yes sir, got the kid to take the notes though,” he cupped his hands, hollering down the pier. “Hey Styles, we need you back here!”
Louis watched as a figure jogged over towards them, and held his breath when he finally stopped in front of them. Well this was interesting. Usually Louis didn’t acknowledge the existence of rookies unless he absolutely had to, but Officer Styles required a lot of acknowledgement. He was tall and lanky, with green, green eyes and a head of unruly hair that just really wasn’t appropriate for their line of work.
He looked between Cal and Louis, waiting for an introduction. Louis stuck out his hand and watched with horror as his own was engulfed by a massive one. Louis told his inner self to shut up so he wouldn’t make an inappropriate comment at a fresh homicide scene, and shook the gigantic hand with much more gusto than he needed to.
“Louis Tomlinson, homicide,”
Harry grinned and exposed a dimple that should have been brought in for questioning. Because it was surely illegal, Louis thought to himself begrudgingly. Stupid handsome rookie.
“Harry Styles, fresh out of the academy.”
“This is certainly an exciting start I would say, Harry. I’m going to need a copy of your notes to look over if you can bring them by the office sometime today. Do we have an ID on the victim?”
He nodded, licking a finger to flip the pages in his note pad. “Um yeah, a Thomas Parker? He’s apparently in a boy band or something,”
Louis groaned, rubbing his fingers into his already bloodshot eyes. Jesus Christ, a high profile case. Just what they needed. He looked around aimlessly and his eyes fell on a familiar quiff.
Fuck.
Cal followed his eyes, an amused grin on his face when he saw who Louis was looking at.
“Yeah media is here, betcha can’t wait to deal with old Grimmy again, hey Lou?”
Louis grumbled, pulling at the collar of his shirt that suddenly felt too tight. “Fuck off, Cal.
Louis stuck his hands in his pockets, reminding himself to keep his face neutral. Nick Grimshaw was their media liaison, and a mistake that Louis had made more times than he would like to remember. Nick was a bit of a fuck wit on a regular day, so add a couple of one night stands into the mix and he was a right prick. Workplace hook up regrets. They all had them unfortunately.
Zayn had wandered over now, puffing on a smoke, pointing it in the direction of Nick. “Please tell me we don’t have to deal with that arsehole on this,”
Louis nodded, his face contorted into a look of annoyance now that Zayn was here to share it with him.
“Some boy bander had to go and get himself offed, so I’m afraid we do.”
Cal was on the radio in the car while Harry stood there taking in their conversation with curious eyes.
“I’m guessing we don’t like the media guy then?”
They both turned their heads to Harry at the same time. “No.”
Zayn smiled around a mouthful of smoke, offering his hand. “I’m Zayn Malik, Louis’ partner. I’m sure we’ll be seeing you around more often than not. Cal’s our favorite.”
Louis was guessing this was their cue to go and actually do their jobs. He walked over to the car and tapped on the hood, giving Cal a mouthed goodbye while he remained on the radio. He gave Harry one last subtle once over, quirking his lips up into a half smile.
“Nice meeting you Harry, don’t forget those notes, alright?”
Harry pat his shirt pocket that was holding his notes, giving them a salute. “I’m on it, nice meeting you detectives.”
Zayn shook his head when they walked away, glancing back at Harry once more. “I swear they keep getting younger and better looking,”
Louis feigned ignorance on the better looking part. Because as they say, it is bliss. “He wasn’t that young…fucking hell…here comes Nick,”
He steeled himself as Nick approached them with a cocky smile on his face. He stopped in front of them flicking his eyes at Zayn briefly, before moving them over to Louis. “Detective Tomlinson, you’re looking awfully tired today, big night?"
Louis’ mouth pulled into a thin line. “How about we just discuss the case instead Nick, I really don’t feel like doing this with you right now,”
Nick narrowed his eyes at him. “Interesting that you only feel like doing things with me after you’ve had a few pints in you, but that’s neither here nor there I suppose. And do address me as Sergeant Grimshaw at work, we’re all professionals here, right doll?”
Zayn moved to step in front of Louis. “Just get to the fucking point Grimshaw so we can be on our way, some of us actually have a crime to solve here.”
Nick plastered the cocky smile back on as he started to back away from them. “Yes you do, and it’s a big one. Dead pop star? Can’t wait to see you in a week with more baggage under your eyes. Enjoy!”
Louis kicked a pebble in the direction that Nick retreated into. “Remind me to never sleep with tall, arrogant, quiffed pricks again alright?”
“Yeah, I seem to recall telling you not to do that every single time, so clearly that doesn’t work.”
Louis paused, tapping a pen against his lips. “Mmm, right. Well, maybe I should just refrain from sleeping with anyone in the department entirely.”
Zayn pulled out his own note pad again, giving him a friendly slap on the back. “Okay, let me know how that works out for you. Come on, we better go interview the rest of the guys in this band so we can get back and start piecing this shit together.”
Louis sighed heavily and followed behind him. Right. Fucking boy bands.
*
They finally arrived back at the office hours later, Louis peeling off his jacket and throwing it haphazardly on his chair, before hurtling himself into it as well, rubbing his temple.
“God, what a bunch of twats those guys were,”
Zayn nodded, tossing his note pad down on his desk. “That Max guy sure didn’t enjoy you very much.”
Louis grunted. “Makes him look even more suspicious, so he can be an arsehole all he wants. The little elf one was pleasant enough, seemed quite torn up about it.”
Zayn sighed as he powered up his computer. “You really need to start remembering people’s names. I think at this point in your career it’s probably time.”
Louis gave a dismissive shrug. “That’s what I have you for Detective Malik, good cop, bad cop right? Besides, you’re so much better at taking notes than me.”
Zayn hummed in response, already furiously typing away in an Excel document. Louis supposed he should start doing some background checks on the band members. He drummed his fingers on his desk waiting for his own computer to start up, when he caught a glimpse of their secretary Perrie out of the corner of his eye. He leaned back in his chair to call out to her.
“Hey Pez, what are you doing here so late?”
She was shrugging her coat on as she walked over to them, her handbag a bright florescent pink to match her hair. Louis couldn’t help but smile.
“Oh, I stayed to catch the press conference; Nick’s just fab up there isn’t he?”
Louis attempted a smile, but was sure it looked more like the Joker’s manic grin. “That’s not exactly the F word I would describe him with, but sure, yeah, he knows how to work a room.”
She gave Louis a funny look as she did up the buttons on her coat. “Right, well I’ll see you guys tomorrow then.”
Zayn, whose attention Louis thought was glued to his computer screen, suddenly jumped up from his seat. “Hey, I’ll walk you out; I was just going to grab a bite for Lou and I.”
Louis narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Were you now,”
Zayn motioned for Perrie to go ahead of him, shooting ‘the look’ back at Louis indicating for him to drop it. Louis rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling, turning his attention back to his computer. Zayn has had an impossible crush on Perrie since she started, and Louis didn’t know why he wouldn’t just ask her out already. They’ve all hung out plenty enough times, but Zayn was one of those people who abides by the time honored rule of not mixing business with pleasure. Which Louis should have remembered to stick to himself (fucking Grimshaw), but Perrie was not a massive arsehole, she was lovely, so Zayn just needed to stop being an idiot.
Louis wrote ‘STOP BEING AN IDIOT’ on a post it in black felt marker and got up to stick it inside Zayn’s desk for him to find one day. Satisfied, he sat back down and pulled up Google search to start his research.
He was deep into an article about his new best friend Max from the Wanted, when he heard the noise of a throat clearing. He glanced up to find a set of wide green eyes staring at him.
“Detective Tomlinson? I have those notes you requested earlier,” he trailed off, chewing on his bottom lip nervously.
Louis blinked twice and then thought oh…oh…wow, well Harry certainly looked different out of a uniform. Louis dragged his eyes up and down his body, which yes, inappropriate, but he could probably play it off as him judging his attire. And really, could anyone even call it that? His jeans looked like bloody tights and what, did he have an aversion to buttons or something, because he certainly wasn’t utilizing the ones on his shirt to keep it done up. Louis frowned, absently adjusting his glasses that were slipping down his nose.
“I’m sorry, I’ve interrupted you…”
Louis snapped himself out of it, bouncing up in his chair. “No, no, I’m the one who’s sorry. Just had a busy day is all, I completely forgot I asked you to drop this off. Thanks for remembering.”
Harry finally smiled, reaching into his bag to pull out his note pad and hand it over to Louis. “It’s not a problem, glad I could help. I hope I didn’t mess anything up,”
Louis gave him a warm smile back. “If Cal has been mentoring you, you’ll be fine. Bit of an exciting end to your first week, but I can assure you they won’t all be like this, don’t worry.”
He ran his fingers through his hair - and Louis watched slightly hypnotized as it sprung right back into place - his smile even bigger. “Cal’s great, I couldn’t have asked for a better training officer. It’s been a good week, despite you know, the dead body I had to see. Wasn’t expecting that so early into my career.” He glanced at the mess on Louis’ desk, flicking his eyes back on him. “I guess you’ll be staying late?”
Louis chuckled. “Unfortunately this case takes precedence over after work pints. But have fun tonight, it’s just the beginning,”
“Thanks. I guess I’ll see you around, detective.”
He turned to leave, offering Louis a little wave before he rounded the corner to the elevator. He crossed paths with Zayn who was on his way back with two paper bags in his hands, nodding a hello. Zayn handed one of the bags over to Louis before slotting himself behind his desk once again.
“Gotta say, he certainly looks different in regular clothes,”
Louis snorted as he reached into the crumpled bag, mumbling to himself. “They were barely clothes.” He pulled out a burger and a container with a salad, jerking his head up toss an angry glare at him. “A fucking salad, really Zayn?”
Zayn didn’t even bother to look at him, already focused on his spreadsheet once again. “Think of it as a compromise. You should really start eating better,”
Louis briefly considered throwing the fucking salad at him. “What are you my mum or something?”
Zayn shifted back in his seat, fingers steepled under his chin thoughtfully. “When’s the last time you went to the gym?”
Louis faltered a moment. Fuck…the year 2009 flashed through his mind. He cringed inwardly while stabbing an accusatory finger out at Zayn. “You should talk, you’re a fucking chain smoker!”
“Just trying to look out for you…it’s just, ever since Nick…”
Louis held up a hand to stop him. “Let’s not…I’ll go to the gym tomorrow alright? Grab a smoothie after if that will help ease your worries, just…I don’t want to talk about him anymore, okay?”
Zayn’s eyes were soft under the glow of the terrible lighting surrounding them – Louis has only been complaining about this for years – “Course, yeah. Guess we better get into this.”
Louis mumbled a ‘yeah’ under his breath, as he kicked off his shoes and folded himself back into his chair, and wondered when he started becoming such a cliché.
*
Louis really wanted to go back to being a cliché. Not working out was so, so much better. Absolutely everything about his workout had been shit, starting with the fact that he woke up at his desk after a few cramped hours of sleep, so he had already been in pain going into the work out, coupled with the mildly embarrassing moment when he realized he couldn’t remember where the gym actually was.
So, because Louis was a stubborn arsehole, he ended up wandering around the building – you would think they could put up some signs for fucks sake – and prayed that nobody he knew would be in there to laugh at his feeble attempts of running without passing out. Luckily he managed to survive, but he figured he should stretch or something. That’s a thing people do right?
Though as soon as he got over to the mats he decided to do his stretches in the form of lying down. With his eyes closed. They had another long day ahead of them, so he was going to take any chance given to him for a spot of rest.
“Louis?”
Fuck. Louis’ prayers were not heard. He slowly opened his eyes and slapped a smile on his face.
“Morning, Eleanor.”
Louis started to peel himself off the mat as she just stared at him in awe. It was clear that he was not going to get a moments rest now, so he may as well go back to work. Anything to avoid this encounter really.
“I didn’t know you worked out,”
Louis huffed, wiping the sweat from his face with the towel in his hand. “I promise you, what I just did in here did not resemble anything that looked like working out.”
She let out a giggle, pushing him lightly on his shoulder. “Well, I’m sure you looked good doing it.”
Louis sighed inwardly. He really needed to put an end to this one of these days. “You’re much too kind El…anyways, I’ve got to run, big case to follow up on.”
She reached out to give his arm a light squeeze, Louis tracking the movement with a little frown on his face.
“Good luck with the case, I’m sure you’ll be brilliant!”
She turned on her heel and bounced over to the elliptical trainers, while Louis considered fashioning a noose out of his towel and hanging himself in the change room. He opted for a shower instead.
He trudged over to the bench where he had thrown all of his shit earlier, because you had to actually use the gym on a regular basis to require a locker, and stopped dead in his tracks when he came face to face with a naked Harry Styles. Okay he wasn’t naked, but he might as well have been because the grey briefs he was wearing left very little to the imagination.
Louis really did not need this for his imagination because he was already delirious, and the only thing at the forefront of his brain right now was ‘you would look really good on your knees in front of me in those’ or ‘you would look really good in my bed with those’ and ‘you would look really good out of those handcuffed to my bed’.
He was such a cliché.
Louis groaned (he really fucking hopes it came out as a groan, because it sounded very suspiciously like a moan).
“Hey, Harry. I thought you had the day off?”
He beamed at Louis as he pulled on a pair of workout shorts. Now Louis was sad. He already missed the briefs. However, Harry was still shirtless and holy fucking v lines. Louis wanted to do a lengthy investigation on those and leave it as an open case so it never had to end. Wow, Louis was going to hell. Smarmy, pervert cop hell, where he will suffer an eternity with Nick Grimshaw, because that’s what he deserves.
“You remembered that I was off today?”
Harry seemed so utterly shocked by this news. Bless his (hot) rookie heart. “Yes, despite what Zayn says, I do actually listen to people when they speak to me. Kind of in the job requirement. Did you have a good night with Cal and the boys?”
Harry tied half his hair back in a ponytail, nodding enthusiastically. This was probably the most arousing experience of watching a person get dressed that Louis has ever had. It was like watching some sort of backwards strip tease and should not have been so hot. This was very unfair.
“Yeah, it was loads of fun, I met Niall Horan from archives? He’s such a laugh. But we drank quite a bit, so I was feeling guilty. I made myself get out of bed to run some calories off.”
Louis wondered if Harry has seen his body. He is ridiculous. “Well, I had an exciting night too falling asleep at my desk, followed up by quite a laughable workout just now, and I think it’s probably safe to say that’s how the rest of my week is going to go.”
Harry massaged at his neck, "I know, like, I'm probably not allowed, but if you wanted help I could stick around? Like help you research or something? It would be interesting to see, but I totally get it if you say no…” he shrugged at the end, not quite meeting Louis’ eyes.
Louis blew out a breath. Who the hell did Harry Styles think he was, being all fit and kind and helpful like this? It was a true testament of just how new he was to the job. Nobody offered their time, especially not for free.
“I mean, that’s really nice of you, but are you sure that’s what you want to do on your day off?”
Harry finally met his eyes, fiddling with a bracelet on his wrist. “I’m totally sure. Is that a yes then?”
“If you’re sure that’s how you want to spend your day, then by all means come to our office whenever you’re done here.”
Harry gave him a wide grin and a thumbs up as he walked backwards out of the room. “Cool, see you in a bit.”
Louis covered a hand over his eyes. He can already think of ten thousand reasons why this isn’t a good idea. He then thought back to the briefs and remembered why it was. That ‘brief’ encounter really made his morning.
Louis leaned his head against a locker, and imaginary slapped himself in the face for that horrific pun.
He really needed coffee.
*
Since Zayn actually made it home to grab his own two hours of sleep, he was looking slightly better than Louis as he lounged in his chair with his eyes closed. He was also able to bring their morning coffee. Louis grabbed at it with hearts in his eyes, forever grateful that Zayn refused to buy coffee from their cranky lunch lady after she made fun of his hair the day he came to work with a bit of a mohawk. Zayn hadn't been down there since.
“I would kiss you on the lips right here Zayn Malik if it wasn’t going to ruin your chances with a certain pink haired young lady,”
Zayn flipped him off, his eyes still clamped shut. “I saw that note you left in my drawer, you wanker.”
Louis walked over to lean against Zayn’s desk, sipping happily on his coffee. “So, when are you going to follow my instructions on it already?”
Zayn opened his eyes, shaking his head as he reached over for his own coffee. “We’re a little busy right now, I don’t have time to worry about Niall gossiping about my life love.”
“You’re right Zayn, you don’t have the time right now,” They both turned their heads to face their boss, her eyes sparkling with amusement, though they quickly turned serious. “I need you to go and check the video from the club the band was at the night of the murder, and Louis you’ll be doing a follow up interview with the band, they’re coming in later today.”
Louis scrunched his nose, making a noise of disgust. “Bloody hell, why can’t Zayn interview them? That Max guy is a twat. A twat I have no patience for today, I can’t promise I’ll be pleasant to him,”
She cocked an eyebrow at Louis. “The press wants another statement today, so I told them we would give it outside of the club. Sgt. Grimshaw will be there to handle the questions, so if you would rather do that Louis, by all means.”
He heard Zayn choke on a laugh beside him which he would pay him back for a later date. “No, I am perfectly happy to interview the wonderful chaps of the Wanted again."
“That’s what I thought. I want a full report from the two of you later.”
She headed back into her office and Zayn finally barked out the laugh he’d been holding in.
“Poor Lou, you just can’t win, either way someone wants to hate fuck you.”
Louis tilted his head down to look at him, flicking him the forehead with a pen. “I don’t think you understand how hate fucking works, it’s supposed to be a good thing.”
Zayn eased out of his chair, grabbing his jacket off the back of it. “That’s ‘cause I’m a lover not a fighter, babe.”
Louis shoved him towards the elevators. “Go do your fucking job, you’re embarrassing yourself.”
Of course at the same moment Zayn was about to get into the elevator, Harry got out of it. Because, of course. Zayn turned around wiggling his eyebrows at Louis before hopping behind the closing doors. His phone buzzed a moment later.
- Someone has blue fever in the form of a homicide detective aha! Xx
Louis typed out a message while plotting Zayn’s demise in his head
- If you didn’t bring me coffee every day I would be showing Perrie the drawing you did of her as a comic book character that one time when you were drunk
Louis pocketed his phone, knowing that Zayn was probably having a mild panic attack right now. He figured he could sweat it out for a while. Harry was back in regular clothes, his hair still damp from the shower, and Louis needed him to stop. How could a man look so fuckable in rolled up jeggings and a pink and grey checkered flannel, HOW??
He looked a little nervous, smiling at Louis sheepishly, like he suddenly felt out of place now that there were people milling about the office.
Louis motioned him over with a wave, patting at the chair beside him. “Harry, if you keep looking like that you’re going to give some of the people in this department bigger heads than they already have. Now come sit,”
Harry moved to sit down next to him, clasping his hands between his legs while he looked at Louis for instruction. “So, what can I help with?”
Louis scratched his head, shuffling around some of the papers on his desk. “I have to interview those little shit…I mean, the band again later, so maybe if you don’t mind doing some more background checks on them? Read some articles, check their Twitters, see if anything sticks out to you and make a note of it,”
Harry smirked. “Not a fan then I take it?”
“I didn’t even know who they were until yesterday, and let’s just say I wish I still didn’t know who one of them was.”
Harry nodded; his eyes thoughtful as he drew them over Louis’ profile. Louis tried not to squirm under the intensity of his gaze, like shit; did he realize how he looked at people? God he was not safe to be sending out into the streets in a uniform. Louis wondered how many people wanted to do a crime just to be strip searched by him.
They both snapped out of their creepy staring contest at the same time, Harry speaking up first. “Where did you want me to work?”
Louis was proud of his self-restraint when he did not answer with ‘in my lap’ “You can use my desk here, Zayn’s gone for the day, so I can sit at his.”
Louis gathered up his notes and reached to grab his glasses, when he looked down to find Harry’s snow shoe sized hand on his arm. “Thanks again Louis, this will be a really great learning experience for me.”
All Louis could offer him was a mumbled ‘no problem’ before moving over to Zayn’s desk.
He needed to add polite mother fucker to his ‘Harry Styles is trying to kill me list’ that he started after the gym this morning for his upcoming autobiography ‘How a rookie ruined my life in less than 24 hours: The Louis Tomlinson story’.
He pulled out his phone and smiled at the one threatening ‘Louis’ text from Zayn. He got those a lot. He sighed and typed his own one back.
- I think I’m the one with a case of blue fever
- Help me :(
*
They sat and worked for a few hours in relative silence, save for the regular buzz of office noises and Harry jumping up every so often to read Louis some of the notes he had made. A few people walked past them throwing Harry a questioning look, but didn’t bother to say anything, whereas Perrie ooed and awed over him so much that Louis had to physically walk her back to her own desk and command her to stay like a dog. Which she didn’t even bat a false eyelash at; as she was too busy still dreamily staring at Harry.
He ran out to the vending machines to grab them a couple of sodas and crisps, and came back to Lou standing in front of his desk with her arms crossed. “You don’t look like Detective Tomlinson,”
Louis rushed over, noting how Harry’s eyes went from deer caught in headlights to relived once he spotted him. Harry stood up while Louis did the introductions.
“Oh hey boss, this is Harry Styles. He was at the scene yesterday; he’s on Cal’s squad. He just wanted to see what the glamorous life of being a homicide detective was like. He’s been a big help actually,”
Louis smiled at Harry fondly and immediately shut it down, because, his boss was standing right there. Self-control Louis, get into it.
Lou looked at Harry, impressed. “Inspector Teasdale. And people don’t usually start sucking up to the homicide detectives until they’re at least a couple years on the job,”
Harry blushed furiously, stumbling on his words. “Oh my god, no, I was just interested, I didn’t expect anything out of it, I…”
Lou burst out laughing, startling Harry back into his deer eyes. “I’m only joking, Harry. You better get used to the all the ribbing, Cal’s a genius at it. But thanks for your time, it’s nice to see people putting an effort into their careers,” she glanced at Louis, pointing down the hall. “They’re ready for you in interview room one, Louis. Nice to meet you Harry.”
Louis dragged a hand through his fringe, trying to fix it to the best of his abilities without actually being able to see it. He smoothed down his tie, squaring his shoulders. “I really hope that little twat isn’t as terrible as he was yesterday.”
He heard the wonderful sound of Harry’s laughter follow him down the hall and felt a little bit calmer when he stepped into the room.
…
“Nope, he’s still a fucking twat,”
Harry was still sitting at this desk, joined now by Niall, who both perked up at Louis’ disgruntled voice. He yanked on his tie and threw it in the direction of his desk, before falling heavily into Zayn’s chair.
“Hey, Niall.”
Niall grinned, passing him over a brownie. “Brought you a gift from your girlfriend,”
Louis glowered at him, snatching the treat from him. “Very funny.”
Harry bit his lip, looking between the two of him. “Girlfriend? Are you with someone that works here?”
Louis dropped his face into his hands, while Niall cackled uncontrollably, “Oh, Harry, no. My co-worker Eleanor has had the hots for old Louis here for years. It’s an ongoing joke. In fact, I heard you were working out this morning, Tommo.”
He whipped his head back up. “Why is that gossip! God dammit I hate this place,” he rolled his chair over to Niall, clutching at his knees. “When will she stop Niall, when??”
He shrugged, taking a bite of his own brownie. “She can’t stop…she won’t stop,”
“Please don’t mock me with Miley Cyrus to me in my time of need.”
Niall reached out to ruffle his hair, which Louis dodged due to chocolaty fingers. “You love it. So, what was wrong with the interview today?”
Louis sat back up in his chair, but didn’t roll back because he was closer to Harry this way. Sue him.
“That little shit Max was hell bent on insinuating that I’m gay for one thing. He was one homophobic comment away from getting dropped on his stupid bald head. Other than that, it was alright.”
Harry’s mouth formed a thin line. “Are you serious right now? That’s disgusting, are they still here?”
Louis was so glad there were people around, because if there weren’t he could not promise he wouldn’t be clearing his desk so he could fuck Harry into the next century on top of it, against it, under it, who the fuck cares, maybe all three. But there were, so he went with something more low key.
“Calm down tiger, we can’t have a rookie suspended in his first week for beating up a boy bander. Bad press and all that. Who knows, maybe this is how he’s dealing, I suppose his friend did just get murdered after all,”
Harry looked down at his hands, his face etched in frustration. “Yeah, but that doesn’t give him the right to say things like that to you. You’re trying to help him.”
Niall frowned, wiping his hands off on his jeans. “I’m with you, I’d punch the fucker if I had the chance. Nobody should be allowed to get away with saying shit like that.”
Louis drew a hand to his heart. “I’m so touched, my two very own knights in shining armor. Anyways, I’m going to see if I can get a few hours of sleep in at home,” he looked pointedly at Harry, mostly because he wanted to extend the invite to him. “Thanks again for all your help today, you’re a brilliant researcher.”
Harry blushed faintly, playing with the frayed end of the bracelet he wore on his wrist, a nervous twitch that Louis had become familiar with. Already. “It’s really no problem at all, you guys work really hard up here.”
Niall brightened as if a switch was turned on in his brain. “Yeah, you do work too hard, so this just reminded me of something. Liam and I are having a joint birthday party on the 30th, and I will not take no for an answer. You’re coming.”
Louis’ eyebrows shot up in shock. “You and Liam? Like Liam Payne? Loner Liam who doesn’t interact with anybody…that Liam?”
Niall rolled his eyes, this time successfully getting in a hair ruffle. “You guys watch too much Dexter. Liam is cool, he comes out with us a lot actually. And you would know that if you didn’t work so hard. So come to the party. Drink. Be social. You might like it.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll come for a few hours. You know it’s not like I don’t have a huge homicide to solve or anything.”
Niall shot him a wink, waving his goodbye at Harry as well. “Ooh you’re so important. Might want to deflate that ego of yours a bit, don’t make me tell El you said you’ll go with her!”
Louis shouted after him as he spun on his heel to run the rest of the way to the elevators. “I will end you Niall Horan!!!”
Harry was smirking at him, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans (what did he fill the pockets with butter or something, because how else was that possible). Louis opened his drawer to grab his wallet and keys, casting a glance at him. “You better be going to this party as well,”
His smirked deepened, making his dimple stand out prominently and Louis wanted to swim around naked in it. “Are you kidding, I would never pass up a chance to see your ‘girlfriend’ try and drunkenly grind up all over you.”
Louis shoved his wallet in his pocket, pushing past Harry. “You guys are all arseholes you know that?”
Harry grabbed his arm when he passed, his lips ghosting over his ear. Louis almost passed out right there – imagine that first aid report, yes nurse Harry Styles touched me, and no I am not fine – “Have a good sleep."
Louis swallowed. He never needed to know what Harry sounded like whispering in his ear.
He didn’t think he was going to get much sleep after all.
*
Turns out he was right about the whole sleep thing, because his new favorite person had to go and get himself murdered overnight.
Louis and Zayn pulled up to an eerily familiar scene at the docks once again, this time however it was dark and gloomy just like Louis’s mood.
“What is with this person and their fixation with leaving bodies down here?”
Zayn rubbed his eyes, pulling out a smoke, his face covered in exhaustion. “I’m more thinking what is with this person and murdering this boy band off one by one,”
“Yeah, that too I suppose,” Louis grumbled. He braced himself as they made their way over to Liam, knowing that Nick had to be lurking around here somewhere. They stood behind the tape while Liam snapped away with his camera, Louis titling his head to look at the sickly white face of the guy who was just mouthing him off about blow jobs the day before. “Fuck, I ran my mouth off about him so much people are probably going to think I stabbed him to death.”
Zayn elbowed him in the side. “Not funny, Lou…hey Liam, it is looking the same as the last victim?”
Liam stood up nodding, his camera hanging around his neck as he peeled off the gloves he was wearing and crouched under the police tape. “Almost identical if you can believe it. Though the number of stab wounds are significantly higher. Whoever did this, well they were angry.”
Louis grimaced and wondered in the very back of his mind if perhaps he didn’t have an out of body experience last night and murder Max to death. Jesus Louis, shut up. He really needed a vacation. In the sun. With lots of drinks. So many drinks. He wondered what Harry would look like with a tan. Did Harry have a happy trail? He doesn’t remember from the other day and now he really wants to.
He saw Zayn watching him curiously out of the corner of his eye. “You alright?”
No, no I’m not. “Yeah, sorry. Just a bit knackered. We better start interviewing people; you want to split it up?”
Zayn looked at him once more, his eyes still worried. He nodded his agreement though and took off towards a table where a few workers were sitting in stunned silence. Liam was already back in his spot beside the body, pointing out different places where there were stab wounds and muttering to himself. Louis had to go to this birthday party, because he wasn’t quite sure he believed Niall about Liam being social. Maybe he and Niall were some sort of Dexter murdering duo. Didn’t that happen on a season of Dexter?
He shrugged and thought he might need to start taking medication because he himself might be crazy. He ran back to the car after patting down his pockets and realizing that he forgot to bring a pen and note pad with him. Of course Nick had to be waiting at it when he got there.
“Nick, I’ve had a total of 4 hours sleep in the past few days, let’s not make this into a double homicide alright?”
Nick grinned wickedly, sliding over so Louis could pull the passenger side door open. “Hmm, no sleep. Wouldn’t be because of a fit little rookie now would it?”
Louis was just on enough edge that he almost screamed ‘I WISH’ into his face. He took a deep breath and shut the door, trying for indifferent. “Dear Nicholas, you’re not trolling the academy for young boys again are you?”
“I don’t know, you’re the one who’s practically ready to rim him at the drop of a hat from what I hear, you tell me.”
Louis willed himself to not do a full body shiver. Fucking Nick. “It’s a bit early for rimming banter. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go and do my job.”
Nick blew him a kiss, batting his lashes. “Too early for rimming? That doesn’t sound like the old Louis, you’ve changed, pet.”
Louis watched him strut away, his mouth hanging open. One of these days he’s going to have a witty come back for him. But right now he mostly wants to rim Harry until he cries.
Yeah. It’s way too fucking early for this.
*
Louis and Zayn were pretty much walking, talking zombies by the time week two of who is killing off this second rate boy band – Louis made a point of listening to their music. Backstreet Boys they were certainly not. They had interviewed the band again, their friends, their families, fuck they might as well have interviewed their pets by now, because they had zero leads to go on.
Louis continued going to the gym even though it thoroughly pissed him off, especially because he hadn’t seen Harry there again hanging out in his underwear. He had seen Harry and Cal a couple of times in passing, but it wasn’t enough to fuel his fantasies. Not that he could even do anything with that information, he was so fucking tired that he didn’t even have time to wank off to all of his Harry material, and that was frankly the saddest thing about being this overworked.
The night of Liam and Niall’s party arrived and Louis really didn’t know if he could chance a couple of hours off. Zayn firmly argued with him that he needed to get out for a bit and he would stay back at the office and cover for him.
“Just go, Niall hasn’t shut up about this party for the past week; one of us should be there. You can do something really awesome for me in the future. I love having Louis favors owed to me, you know that,”
This was true; Zayn had collected a number of them over the years. Louis was scared to ask how many of them he still had left to use. “If you’re sure…”
He got up and pulled him into a hug, before spinning him around towards the elevators. “Just goooo. You’re in a brand new blazer, your hair game is strong, you’ve got your proper party shoes on…don’t waste this.”
“Alright, alright, I’m going. Just phone or message if you need me okay?”
Zayn nodded, smiling innocently. “Same to you, I definitely want a message if you snog Harry,”
Louis pointed a finger at him. “I am a professional going to a work function with my professional coworkers. There will be no snogging.”
…
Louis was four beers in and he definitely wanted there to be snogging. Harry looked obnoxiously good, trading his skinny black jeans (okay they were jeggings lets not lie to ourselves) for skinny black jeans made from good old fashioned jean material, but they had patches of leather sewn onto the knees, and thank you, there was another visual for Louis’ already excessive arsenal of Harry porn. He had a black t shirt hap hazardly tucked into the jeans, and somehow managed to fit a pair of motorcycle boots under the hem of his jeans. Louis took a long sip of his pint. He thinks he was going to need a whole barrel to himself to quench his thirst.
Niall of course was the life of the party, clamoring up onto the benches to sing and dance like a maniac, and once Liam joined him up there as well, Louis finally (though begrudgingly) decided that he probably wasn’t killing people and keeping samples of their blood. He texted Zayn the bad news, who insisted they still make up stories about it during their drunken lads nights. He really was the best partner ever.
He was feeling more buzzed than he should have been, but that was to be expected, and looked up expectantly when he felt a body slide into the booth next to him. Oh.
“Hey Lou, you having a good night? You look really nice by the way,”
Louis tried to slide a little further away from where Eleanor had plastered herself against his side. “Yeah, I’m good El, just what I needed to be honest. You look nice as well.”
Louis couldn’t fault her that, she always looked quite put together. Though she seemed to be wearing a lot less clothes tonight than he was used to. He felt a hand on his thigh, and quickly glanced around for help. He was met with Harry’s heated eyes; that look that he gave that made Louis want to melt into the floor. Or touch himself. That seemed like the better option.
Harry was pushing through the crowd to get to their table now, looking at Louis like he was some sort of mission that Harry needed to accomplish.
Yes. Please.
He steadily ignored Eleanor, yanking at Louis’ hand to pull him out of the booth. “Dance with me.”
Louis turned back to mouth ‘sorry’ to Eleanor, even though he wasn’t the least bit sorry at all. She sipped her drink and looked away, and Louis couldn’t help but wonder if he saw a flicker of something in her eyes.
But back to Harry. And Harry dragging him outside…wait a minute…outside? They hit the fresh air and Harry looked around frantically before heading around to the side of the building. Louis felt his back hit the exposed brick wall, as Harry bracketed him in with his arms. He slowly licked his lips, his breathing coming out ragged against Louis’ already too tight skin.
“I actually meant go home with me,”
And then Harry was kissing Louis, hot and dirty and passionate and desperate, better than any scenario he had dreamt up in his head since the first time he thought about it. It was over as soon as it started though, Harry pulling back hesitantly. “Wait, fuck…god you’re so fucking hot, I...sorry I didn’t even ask if this was okay,”
Louis grabbed a fistful of curls, and felt Harry’s entire body convulse under his touch. So he liked hair pulling. They really needed to get the fuck out of there. “The only thing that isn’t okay is the fact that we have clothes on still. My flat is a couple of blocks away, let’s fucking move Styles.”
They pretty much bolted all the way there, Louis silently praising himself for keeping up on his running at the gym. But then he was praising Harry, who hauled him up and wrapped him around his waist as soon as they got into his building, sucking and nibbling at his neck until they reached his door, where Louis squirmed around his waist to pull the keys out of his pocket.
“Louis, if you don’t stop rubbing your dick into my stomach I’m going to fuck you against your front door, hurry up,”
Louis was way too fucking delirious for Harry Styles and his dirty talk, how the fuck was he going to make it through this? Harry finally fumbled the door open, kicking it shut behind him and dropping Louis to his feet so he could pull off this blazer, his lips never detaching from any part of his body.
“Bedroom, bedroom, bedroom,” he mumbled against his lips, while his slender fingers worked at the buttons of Louis’s shirt. Louis was already squeezing his eyes shut at the thought of what those fingers would be doing to him. He also gave his dick a quick squeeze to calm that down as well.
“Harry, you better not be a figment of my imagination, I’m so fucking horny and tired and horny that I think you very possibly could be.”
Harry cocked an eyebrow and dropped to his knees, taking Louis’ jeans and pants down with him. He wrapped his warm and ridiculously swollen lips around Louis and sucked him down so hard Louis had to dart a hand out to steady himself against the living room wall. He gasped when Harry slowly slid back off and stared up at Louis with his lust blown eyes. “Did that feel real to you?”
Louis could only nod (barely) in response. Harry leaned back in, teasing Louis with the tip of his tongue. “Good. Though if this doesn’t convince you, I’m hoping the fact that I’m going to fuck you so hard that I have to buy you a new headboard will,” he glanced up once more, his mouth inches from Louis’ cock. “Do you have handcuffs here?”
Louis finally thanked his lack of sleep for keeping his body reactions delayed, or else that would have been it for him. He would have come all over Harry’s face, and at this point in their relationship he does not know if he would be into that.
He was going to have to duck-tape his mouth shut pretty soon.
*
Louis fell back against his pillows, rolling onto this side to grin at Harry. They had just eaten midnight breakfast in bed after a few rounds of trying, with some success, to break Louis’ headboard.
“I think we at least put a crack in it,”
Harry rolled onto his side, dragging a pillow with him to scoot closer to Louis. “Dammit. Better luck next time I guess,” he traced a finger over the lines of his ‘It Is What It Is’ tattoo “So…ah, I don’t really know how to bring this up without sounding weird, but like…do people at work know, about you…being gay?”
Louis smiled softly at Harry’s delightful awkwardness. “I think they might have an idea now Harry, you looked like you were going to eat me alive at that pub,”
Harry groaned, burying his face into the pillow. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m sure Niall’s already announced it on the department intranet.”
Louis ran his fingers through his insane mop of hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. “Trust me babe, it’ll just be another rumor, this place wouldn’t survive without them. I’m not too worried; this wouldn’t exactly be the first time,”
Harry shifted his neck up to look at him again. “Really?”
Louis chewed on his lip, contemplating on whether or not to tell him about Nick. But fuck it; he would hear about it eventually anyways. “Unfortunately yes. I made the mistake we all know and love as Nick Grimshaw. It was a dark time for me.”
“This definitely explains why Nick gave me attitude at a scene the other day,”
All Louis could do was lean his head against Harry’s chest and laugh. “Fuck, now I’m the one who’s sorry. Nick makes it his life goal to fuck with me and you are lucky enough to now be a part of that.”
Louis felt him shrug. “Green doesn’t look good on everyone.”
Louis smiled, remembering Harry from earlier tonight. He lifted his head to fit his lips against Harry’s. God they were so soft. He probably used some fancy chap stick, because, he would. “Looked pretty hot on you tonight.”
Harry pulled him in for a deeper kiss, wrapping his tongue around Louis’ before easing off with a happy sigh. “Yeah about that, how does Eleanor not know about you by now?”
“I hate to be rude, but she’s either quite dense or very willingly blind.”
Harry smiled softly, running his thumb along Louis’ bottom lip. “So, why don’t you just tell her then?”
Louis bit down on his thumb, earning him a playful slap on the bum. “I guess I’m finally going to have to. She’s a nice girl; I don’t know why she can’t just have a crush on Niall like everyone else,”
Harry sat up, reaching over to grab his phone. “He’s quite the ladies’ man that one, he probably couldn’t have picked a better place to work.” Harry unlocked his phone, frowning at the time. “I hate to be that person, but I really have to get home. I’ve got work in the morning…I would stay, but I need my stuff…”
Louis launched himself at Harry, rolling him over until he was on his back and he was straddling his waist. Louis had a lot of feelings about Harry’s waist after tonight, especially the fingerprints he left there after fucking him into his mattress. “Stop that, I of all people know that you need specific things for this job. And I also know that you are not one of those people that would run home after sex, in fact I have a pretty good feeling you might like to come by again tomorrow to go again?"
Harry moved his hands to cover Louis', pressing into the bruises. “You have no idea.”
“I thought so. Now, get your cute little arse out of here, I have to work too and I need at least two hours of sleep. I think I’m going to try and get into the Guinness World book of records for the least amount of sleep over the course of a month. I deserve a plaque at the very least.”
Harry shook his head, giving his hips one last squeeze. “You deserve a vacation.”
Louis agreed wholeheartedly. And he knows exactly who he wanted to have all the vacation sex with when that time finally arrived.
*
The next day was another filled with too much work, zero leads and Zayn forgetting to bring them coffee. He would have been furious about it, but Harry. Harry happened. He was floating on a cloud of Harry orgasms. So he would be fine for a while. However, something wasn’t right here. Louis rolled his chair over, eyeing Zayn up and down.
“What happened to you last night…you look different. And you forgot to bring coffee, so don’t even try to fool me with your terrible lies,” he inched his face closer, trying not to laugh as he narrowed his eyes, “And I detect people’s lies for a living.”
Louis’ resolve faded quickly, bursting into a fit of laughter while Zayn tried rolling him back over to his own desk. “Shut up, I’m fine you idiot. You’re the one who can barely function today,”
Louis’ eyes clouded over dreamily. “We tried to break my bed.”
Zayn made a vomiting noise, holding his hand in front of Louis’ face. “Please…that’s enough detail.”
Louis slapped his hand away, pouting in a way he knows gets on Zayn’s very last nerve. “Why don’t you want to hear about Harry and his blow job lips? I care about Perrie’s lips,”
Zayn immediately flushed a beet red. Louis slapped his hand on the desk, pointing a finger excitedly at him. “Hold the fuck up, did you two hook up last night? Were all the stars aligned that we both got with our sexual fantasies in actual real life?”
Zayn covered his face with his jacket. “You are the worst.”
Since it was Sunday and no one was really in the office, Louis did his best booty shaking victory dance. He had the ass for it, it was necessary. “I knew it, I knew something was off. Fuck, finally! To be honest, I’m more excited about this than my own conquest, this has been years in the making.”
“I wish he would have screwed that loud voice out of you, can you please be quiet?”
Louis dropped back in his chair, pulling Zayn’s jacket off of his head. “We haven’t explored face fucking yet Zayn, you’ll know when we have,”
Zayn immediately pushed out of his chair and grabbed his wallet off the desk. “I’m going to get coffee. And a lobotomy. Please have your oversharing sorted by the time I get back.”
“I want a latte!” Louis called out after him.
He really held back on making any white, creamy foam references along with his request. Baby steps.
*
Two days later they still had nothing to go on, and Louis had not heard from Harry. Which, okay, he knows that he has been working, but not even a text, and Harry loves texting random shit. Louis was beginning to think he had done something terribly wrong, or read Harry entirely wrong. Had he made yet another work mistake?
He was moping about in the cafeteria, picking at a bagel because that was the only thing the lunch lady didn’t make herself, so it was safe to assume it wasn’t full of hate like everything else that she made, when Niall slammed a tray of food down next to him.
“Hey man, I haven’t seen you since the party. Not that I saw very much of you. Seem to think Harry saw quite a bit more,”
Louis tore off another piece of bagel, only to throw the crumbs directly back onto the plate. “Ha ha. Speaking of Harry, have you seen him around?”
Niall tore open the package of one of the three sandwiches he had in front of him, pursing his lips thoughtfully. “Nah, in fact a couple of people of been AWOL. Eleanor called in sick, m’fucking swamped down there. God forbid we get a temp in to help me out.”
Louis scratched at the days old stubble on his chin. Huh. “Who else is AWOL?”
“Um, apparently Grimmy didn’t show up to a press conference today. They’ve been trying to get a hold of him all morning.”
Louis frowned, reaching for his phone when he felt the buzz of it in his pocket. What the fuck was going on? His heart started pounded when he saw he had a couple of texts from Harry “What the…”
- Hiiiiii so I know who the boy band murderer is
- I think I’m in trouble
- :(((((((((
The last message was a dozen more variations of the sad face emoji, and Louis didn’t have time to be fucking endeared by Harry as he bolted upright out of his seat muttering a hasty goodbye to Niall as he hit speed dial on Zayn’s number. He picked up on the first ring.
“We need to ping Harry’s phone, pretty sure he just solved our case by going and getting himself kidnapped,”
“Lou, have you gone mental? What are you talking about?”
Louis picked up the pace, jogging out to the parking lot to start up their car. “Ping the motherfucking phone and get that skinny arse of yours down to the car now!”
Louis was probably going to have a heart attack today, again because of Harry Styles. If their killer didn’t kill him first, Louis was going to do it for him.
*
They pulled into a familiar area of town, shifting their confused gazes at each other. They brought the car to a stop, and Louis wanted to race out of it screaming ‘Harry’ at the top of his lungs, but that would be slightly irrational. He instead calmly opened the door to the building they had tracked Harry to.
They were supposed to wait for their backup, but Louis was never one for abiding by the department rules. He was probably going to get his hand slapped (again), but this was Harry and he needed to be slapped by him again (okay he means spanked), so he had to rescue him and his mutant sized hands.
Both he and Zayn crept through the building as quietly as they could, Louis putting a finger to his lips as they rounded a corner to an exposed warehouse. He darted his eyes around the room, and they almost bugged right out of the socket when he saw Harry tied up on the concrete floor. To Nick Grimshaw.
Zayn crashed into him where he had stopped short to ogle the absurd scene in front of him. Zayn gave him a questioning look, as his stabbed his finger in the direction of Harry and Nick. Zayn’s widened so slowly and so comically wide that Louis wanted to start laughing hysterically, because this was quite literally the most bizarre fucking thing they have ever experienced together.
That was until Eleanor stepped into their eyesight.
Louis was done after that. He raised his arms in exasperation. “Eleanor, what the bloody hell?"
She whirled around, smiling brightly at him. “Oh, hello, Louis. I’m glad you came,”
Nick piped up in the background. “Terrible, terrible pun, darling.”
Louis approached her slowly. “You?? But why El? The Wanted? I don’t get it,”
She shrugged, picking at her nail polish absently. “I had to get you to notice me somehow. Plus their music is shit. And that one guy was rude to you,”
Well, fair enough Louis thought. But no, that wasn’t a reason to go around murdering people. “Why is Nick here?”
She cast him a glance, focusing back on her nails again. “Oh him? He was also rude to you,”
Nick scoffed. “Excuse me, we’re rude to each other. The hate is mutual. We’ve discussed it.”
Harry raised a hand. “I definitely know why I’m here then,”
Louis mouthed at him to shut up, focusing his eyes back on Eleanor. He moved a little closer to her. “El, I’m sorry, but this is not the way to get my attention. You really can’t go around murdering boy bands anymore.”
She finally looked up at Louis, her face contorted into an angry frown. “Why, worried there will be less of them for you to sleep with?”
Nick howled with laughter behind her, Harry putting his hand up again. “Um, I’m not in a boy band just for the record,”
She threw Harry a look as she marched over to a bag she had on the ground, pulling a piece of paper out of it. “Are you sure Harry? This looks an awful lot like you,”
Nick cackled even more loudly than before, his breath wheezing out. “Fuck…I can’t breathe, someone get me out of these ropes.”
Eleanor turned to shove the paper at Louis, who heard Zayn also stifle a laugh behind him. He peered down at it, before looking over at Harry. “Um…”
He wriggled angrily against his ropes. “Oh for god’s sake, I was 17! It was a band with a few friends of mine; we released one obscure song, which was complete shit. Why do you think I became a police officer? Jesus Christ,”
Eleanor pointed the knife she was holding at him. “I do have to say, you dress so much better now. Good call on losing the baggy jeans,”
“Thanks, I just really love black skinny jeans. No one gets it.”
And that was just enough for Louis. “Okay, I can’t take any more of this absolute fucking nonsense. El, drop the knife and hand over that picture, they are both weapons that you should not be wielding. Harry, we’ll discuss that picture and your boy band background at length later on. Nick, as much as I would love to leave you tied up here for at least another day, sadly I cannot. You missed a press conference this morning and the Chief is pissed,” Louis spoke over his shoulder. “Zayn, do you have anything to add?”
“What was the name of the song, Harry; anything we’ve heard of? Nick certainly must know it, he’s like 45.”
Louis didn’t get a chance to elbow him in the stomach, as their backup finally showed up. Louis gently pulled the knife out of Eleanor’s hand and circled a cuff around her wrist. “I am sorry you know, it really shouldn’t have ended up like this, you know the whole you having to go to jail thing.”
She offered Louis her other wrist, smiling at him wistfully. “Oh well, that Max guy was still a prick. Tell Niall I’ll miss him.”
Louis handed her off to Zayn, who if Louis could read minds was most likely thinking ‘I need to find a new job; this was the weirdest fucking thing to ever happen to us’. He was not wrong.
He strode over to Harry and Nick, helping them out of the (poorly) tied ropes. He clapped Nick on the shoulder, grinning up at him.
“Getting soft on us, Nick? You could have easily gotten out of those ropes.”
Nick ran his fingers through his hair, messing about with the massive quiff that was still surprisingly in place throughout all this. “Yes, I must remember to bring my Swiss army knife with me the next time one of your crazy girlfriends decides to kidnap me.”
He adjusted the rest of his uniform before tossing Louis one last sassy look. “Now, I must be on my way, I have to go and give the most hilarious press conference this world has ever seen. Only you Louis, only you."
Louis didn’t bother watching him leave as he crouched down to Harry’s level, grasping his hands. “Are you okay?”
Harry hugged an arm around him, pulling him into his chest. “I’m fine. She’s crafty that one. Luring us here saying you wanted to discuss the case. And we didn’t even bat an eye. Everyone loves Louis.”
Louis laughed into the shirt of his now wrinkled uniform. “You guys are both idiots then. God, this is the creepiest thing ever if you think about it. The department shrink is going to be awfully busy after this. I really need that vacation now.”
Harry gave him one more squeeze before leaning back, his eyes hungrily raking over Louis’ profile. “Do you need company on that vacation?”
“I definitely think we should take this whole breaking the bed business worldwide.”
Louis watched Harry’s hand’s twitch in his lap, knowing that he wanted nothing more than to grab onto Louis right now, but they couldn’t, because work, and really everything that just happened there was so fucking bizarre that is was not even remotely appropriate.
“Fuck that, we're breaking that thing tonight.”
Louis blinked twice before tackling Harry onto his back. Fuck work and being appropriate. Besides, news couldn’t travel that fast now that one half of the department team was on her way to jail.
Then Louis remembered something as he bit at Harry’s delicious lips. “Hey, did you ever wear a uniform back in your boy band days?”
Harry raked his fingers through his hair, pulling at the ends to get a moan out of Louis. It worked. “No, but I was wondering what you’d look like in yours, I bet it's so hot.”
Looks like they both had a case of blue fever.
FIN