Chapter Text
i.
lance
so i found out why the last copy of corans textbook is gone
he took it
hunk
who?
lance
him
hunk
WHO??
lance
QUEEF
hunk
ha, good one lance.
lance
thanks bro
worked hard on that one
anyways back to the topic at hand
hunk
right.
how do you know keith took the last one?
lance
because dude i'm at the library and am literally watching him reading it from across the foyer
just taking it like he owns the place
like there wouldn't be anyone else who needs it before the projects due
asshole
hunk
well we kinda brought it on ourselves, man.
we didn't have to wait til the last minute to start on this.
lance
ok let's stop living in the past and think of the now
keith's in the library
i'm in the library
it's time to strategize
hunk
what do you mean?
lance
we need to think of a way for me to steal the book from keith
hunk
or
o r
you can just walk up to him and ask to borrow it when he's done?
lance
hunk don't be ridiculous
hunk
i'm serious, he's a chill guy! he’ll understand if you just explain to him.
lance
hunk u beautiful precious sweet summer child
u innocent newborn birb
u perfect sunflower
u cunning pliable chestnut-haired sunfish
hunk
lance. you're stalling.
lance
r u forgetting who we’re talking about
that plan would work if it was u here instead of me
but nope
i can't go thru a single conversation w that guy w out it turning into a fight
hunk
that's always your fault! dude seriously just go up to him and ask. the projects due in like two days. it'll be fine.
lance
that's what u think
but mark my words if i go up there then one thing will lead to another
and before u know it we’ll be literally trying to kiss each other
hunk
oh. well.
surely that's not the worst thing that could happen.
i say go for it.
lance
wh
WTF THE FUCK
HUNK
NO
I TYPED KILL I KNOW I DID WHY WOULD MY PHONE
HUNK
SHUT THE HELL YOUR MOUTH
hunk
i didn't say anything.
lance
I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING ACROSS CAMPUS
hunk
… honestly yeah you probably can.
lance
WE WOULD TRY TO LITERALLY KILL EACH OTHER
K I L L
BC WE’RE RIVALS
hunk
hunk r u there
helloooooo
lance
dude wtf
keith just came up to me dumped the book on my table and left
w out a single fuckin word
????
hunk
yeah, i actually remembered that i still have his number saved from last semester so i just texted him explaining the situation and asked if you could borrow it when he's done. he said sure.
lance
bro ♡♡♡♡
hunk
♡
lance
wait
u told him i was stalking him at the library???
hunk
well, not in those exact words…
ii.
pidge
hey lance did you get the page number for montgomerys assignment tonight
lance
lmao
pidge
yeah i thought so. was worth a shot
lance
frankly i'm shocked u didn't??? what happened
pidge
dude. i straight up wasn't there.
lance
oh lmao
pidge
impeccable attention to detail as always, lance.
anyways, heard something interesting from an innocent newborn birb today
lance
oh no
pidge
heard all about how much you and keith want to kiss each other
lance
pidge pls have i not been humiliated enough over this
pidge
0:)
lance
it was autocorrect ok!! i do not want to kiss keith i want to kiss him
i’M
pidge
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
iii.
lance
yo
have u finished the reading for iverson yet
keith
no, not yet. it's torture.
lance
glad it's not just me
ugh
kiss me
keith
…
lance
fuCKIGN-
iv.
lance
hey shiro
shiro
shirooooooo
help me shito or whoever the fuck u are… ur my only ho
shiro
Sorry, in the middle of tutoring with Keith.
lance
oh
shiro
I can still text, though. But I may reply a bit slow. What's up?
lance
welllllll
so like
can i ask u a question
shiro
Of course.
lance
so
keith
we’re rivals right
he wants to kiss me right
wait
shiro
… I’m not at liberty to say.
lance
that's not what i meant i meant kiss
kiss
KISS
!!!!! KILL
shiro
Oh. Well, whatever you meant, that's probably something you should just talk with Keith about.
lance
doesn't he though???
hate me i mean
like this is a rivalry based on mutual hatred right
right
shiro
Nope. Not answering.
Talk to Keith.
lance
uuuggghhhh
+i
lance
hey everyone
i have an announcement to make
hunk
?
pidge
oh boy
shiro
What's up?
lance
so
i kissed keith
lance
guys
hello
hunk
ok normally i'd wanna poke fun at you but if this turns out to be autocorrect again i am going to be very concerned.
pidge
lance
did you kill keith
lance
NO
shiro
I can vouch for Lance; Keith is here with me right now. Very flustered, but not dead. I'm happy for you two. :-)
pidge
i dunno, im not quite convinced yet
hunk
hmmm.
i'm with pidge. i'll need some photographic evidence.
lance
i'm a good fucking person i don't deserve this