Chapter Text
For lacewood, samurai!detective!AU; Aomine and Kise are the worst detectives.
The blade slid through the paper wall and barely missed the lord's face, slicing all the wall- paper, wood and wall-hangings- in one fell stroke.
"Open in the name of the law!" thundered Aomine, kicking in what remained of the sliding door.
Kise came in through the other, open side of the door, and said with a flourish, "WE ARREST YOU FOR THE CRIME OF- Aominechi wait what was he accused of?"
"Ask Satsuki," said Aomine automatically.
"Momochi isn't here," said Kise. "Er- drugs? Slaves? Something?"
"We'll ask her when we get back to the station," said Aomine, then flicked out his sword to slice just one hair off the fleeing lord's mustache, and no more. The miscreant stopped dead in his tracks. "Where the hell do you think you're going, I said you're under fucking arrest."
"I said that," said Kise.
"Whatever," said Aomine.
"You were unwise to come without backup!" cried the lord, and yelled, "GUARDS! GUARDS! I have a hundred men on this estate!"
"Oh, those?" said Kise.
"We were done with them before we passed the front gate," said Aomine.
The lord cowered. "IMPOSSIBLE," he said. "You came from the east side! You came over the wall! You were never at the front gate!"
"Yeah," said Aomine. "You've got a big-ass house. We had to go back out and circle around to get to you, we kept getting turned around in there."
"Whatever it is we're arresting you for, it sure does pay," said Kise. "We should look into it, Aominechi."
The lord faltered, then squared his shoulders. "You have no evidence!" he said. "I demand a trial under the law, as is my right!"
Aomine and Kise looked at each other. "Evidence," Aomine said.
"We've got some," said Kise. "I think."
"If he's killed resisting arrest we won't need evidence," said Aomine hopefully. Akashi had spent considerable effort trying to extract the concept of killed resisting arrest from Aomine's repitore of excuses, but some things were just impossible.
Kuroko's knife flashed and a ninja fell to the ground, making bubbling noises. "Arrest him," Kuroko said. "Momoi-san is already loading the cart with the ledgers."
"What ledgers," said Aomine.
"Kurokochi, I thought we were looking for suspicious boxes!" said Kise.
Kuroko looked at them. "Just bring him along."
#when Kise says 'suspicious boxes' he means boxes with 'suspicious' printed on them