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It was Christmas and Clarke had agreed to spend it with Octavia and her brother as a reflex, not realizing what that meant. Soon, she would meet one of her favorite Youtubers. The bad part, he probably thought she hated him.
The whole thing was an accident. A frustrating impulse to click the follow button after Octavia, shortly after moving in, told her her brother was the Geek King of old dead guys. She showed Clarke his Youtube page as a laugh, and Clarke had adamantly agreed that his opinions were in the history fanboy territory. He made a ten-minute long video detailing Herodotus’ Histories as one of the most insightful ancient texts available to the modern world, despite the common academic critique of the man as too religious. But then she noticed he did a series on Greek mythology and its representations in art across time. His breakdown of Cy Twombly’s Apollo and the Artist was nearly perfect.
So she subscribed.
...and told him why his breakdown wasn’t perfect.
This started a series of long strings of messages in the comment section where they debated. Clarke would critique some part of his video, he would respond with a counter-argument, she would counter his counter-argument, and so on. It had reached the point where this was basically habitual.
She always started it, but he always quick to answer. Any new upload by TalesfromDelphi was instantly followed by a back and forth between Clarke and Bellamy.
Christmas wouldn’t worry her so much if it weren’t for the fact that she still hadn’t owned up to being PrincessoftheArc (a stupid account name Wells had made for her) to either Bellamy or Octavia.
“Well,” Raven said halfway through her rambling panic at Grounders, “the way I see it, you have two real choices.” She took a calm sip of coffee, black, before continuing. Clarke was grateful for her friend’s level headedness. It was easier to breathe, calm down, and be rational around people who naturally exuded those characteristics. “One, you can keep your dirty secret cyber-crush on your roommate’s brother a secret--”
“It’s not a crush--”
Raven leveled her with an unimpressed look. “Or, two, you could let Octavia know you’ve been watching her brother’s videos and try to contact him to give him a head’s up that you’re...well you.”
Clarke tapped her index finger on the table and thought over both options. Carefully, weighing the pros and cons against each other. Raven didn’t seem to mind. She pulled out her phone and gave her a moment.
Finally, she admitted, “I don’t really like either option.”
Her friend shrugged, but didn’t offer her much else in the way of encouragement.
She sighed. She knew what she had to do. “I’ll keep it secret. There’s no need to make this a big deal for them.”
Raven snorted. “And what are we keeping secret?”
They stared off, neither willing to back down. But then, Raven leaned forward and gave Clarke that look of hers--the one between smug and amused where her left eyebrow lifts a little and her smirk says everything she doesn’t need to say with words.
Fine. “My secret cyber-crush.”
Raven laughed loudly, getting the attention a few people in the cafe, including Monty and Lincoln behind the bar. She leaned back in her chair and lifted the mug of coffee back to her lips. “You forgot the dirty bit, but I’ll take it.”
Clarke rolled her eyes but, for the first time since she said yes to a Blake sibling Christmas, relaxed. She would keep things secret. That’s the end of it.
Until it isn’t.
* * *
Five days before Christmas, when Clarke leaves her ‘studio,’ which is really just a repurposed guest bedroom, for a drink of water in the kitchen things get a bit worse. Or better. Clarke wasn’t really sure what to make of the new development.
Octavia ran over to Clarke’s side to grab a glass for her. That should have been the first sign. And then Octavia started talking about how Lincoln had to give up his plane ticket back home to pay for a broken window at Grounders. Something about kids playing in the alley nearby with fireworks or beebee guns or both.
Clarke was the one to ask, “So he’s stuck here for the holidays?”
Octavia nodded and stretched her arms, fingers entwined, over her head. It was her attempt at being nonchalant. “Yeah. He was thinking about just staying at his place, watching some movies, but then I thought--Well, as of now it’s you, me, and my brother. And you know how it is, siblings have a lot of inside jokes and roommates have a lot of inside jokes. Maybe if we add another person it will level out any awkwardness or third-wheeling.” She said this languidly, as if the thought had only just occurred to her.
Clarke had to hold back her laughter. She wanted to see where this was headed. “Mmhmm, makes sense.”
The girl’s eyes went sharp. She must have known what Clarke was doing, but at this point it was a matter of who would stop the game first. “Both Lincoln and Bell cook too, so it’s not like this will add to our load.”
She nodded, slow and careful. Octavia would crack soon.
“Look,” she huffed, predictably, “I know you know what I’m getting at Clarke.”
Clarke couldn’t help but grin. She set down her now empty glass. It was covered in blue and red fingerprints.
Her roommate leaned back against the counter and jut out her hip impatiently. “I feel bad asking. Like I’m imposing my holiday on yours,” she admitted.
“No, no, don’t.” She placed a hand on Octavia’s shoulder and smiled. “The more the merrier. Honestly, Lincoln is the best and your brother…” Is one of the most engaging and interesting people she’s never officially met. “...he’s family.”
A small grin began to grow on Octavia’s hard form. No matter how tough the girl was, Octavia always had a hard time asking for what she wanted.
“Besides,” Clarke said, “as long as I’m not cooking you can invite whoever you want.”
That night, she told Raven. And her response was, “Looks like you get to double date.” Clarke really hoped her dumb crush would be squashed when she met him in person.
* * *
Four days before Christmas, Octavia told Clarke that Bellamy’s roommate asked if he could tag along. Clarke agreed to let Miller crash at their place for the holidays, but it no longer felt like a small dinner. So she suggested they ask Raven, Monty, and Jasper if they were free.
* * *
Three days before Christmas, everyone but Raven confirmed.
* * *
Two days before Christmas, Raven confirmed.
* * *
On Christmas Eve, Bellamy and his roommate Miller, who she embarrassingly recognized from a few videos, arrived.
“Bell!” Octavia rushed off the couch toward the door after the first knock. Clarke smiled and paused a documentary on minimalism she somehow convinced Octavia to watch after hours of scrubbing and vacuuming every inch of their place.
Clarke pulled out her hair tie and dragged herself off the couch. She was so tired she couldn’t even bother being nervous.
The door swung open and a man, several shades darker than Octavia, stood at the door wearing a scowl and a beanie.
Octavia’s mirth disappeared. Her hands went to her waist. “Hey Miller, what’s with the face?”
Clarke came up behind Octavia and noticed that Miller’s jaw, though clenched, was shuddering.
“Goddamn rental car’s heating was out.” He gave Octavia a half-hug and nodded at Clarke. “Hey. Miller.” They shook hands.
“Clarke.”
As Miller shook out of his coat, Clarke grabbed his bags and moved them to the living room. He was tugging his gloves off with his teeth while Octavia asked about their flight over.
The door was still open when Bellamy arrived.
He had at least six grocery bags hanging off his arms, while carrying his luggage. He was taller, with harder edges in person. “Hey, O.”
“Bell!”
Miller had walked over to where she stood by the couch and watched the siblings’ reunion. Clarke could imagine him roll his eyes as he spoke to her. “No heating and he still insists on going to the grocery store before getting here.”
Octavia took his luggage and kicked it across the room to the living room.
Clarke chuckled. “Octavia already bought everything on the list he sent her.” She tilted her chin toward the kitchen. “The turkey is defrosted and everything.”
Bellamy was still lecturing Octavia about kicking other people’s belonging as they carried the bags to the kitchen. Clarke had never had siblings, she always thought Wells was more than enough. But right then, she knew what she and Wells had was nothing like this.
Miller shook his head and laughed with her. “O said there were more people coming.” She finally turned to look at him. He smirked at her and shrugged. “He likes to show off.”
In that moment, her crush went from digital to reality.
A few seconds later, Octavia finally realized she completely forgot to introduce Clarke and her brother. She apologized by making her a PB&J sandwich. Bellamy was pretty normal, a lot more jock than nerd during their introduction. Instead of the typical professor vibe from his videos, when he took off his coat he was wearing a basic t-shirt on top of his jeans. Plus, no glasses.
Her home felt warm and cozy with him and Miller there. They all got to know each other, at least the basic surface level stuff. Miller and Bellamy worked together as teachers at their hometown’s high school. Bellamy taught history, not at all a surprise, and Miller taught senior English and coached lacrosse. From what they said, it seemed like the administration there was terrible. They both wanted to leave. Clarke told them about her paintings and the art classes she taught at the gallery and children’s museum.
After a while, they turned off Clarke’s documentary to play Mario Party at Octavia’s insistence. “The best way to get to know someone,” she said, “is through competition.”
She was right. Clarke played dirty like the worst of them. Her trash talk was nowhere near Raven’s level, who mostly played FPS games, but it was pretty evenly matched with Octavia’s. Bellamy started a campaign, one-round into the game, to knock Clarke down a level since she pushed his character into danger during a mini-game. Miller was a strategist. He faded into the background most of the time while everyone else yelled at each other. In the end he won, by a lot.
They tried playing Mario Kart. But Bellamy shoved her character off Rainbow Road as revenge, and she knocked into him when he was making a sharp turn. Octavia put them on time out. They weren’t allowed to play together until they could get along.
Miller laughed, a single chuckle. Then he knocked his knee into Bellamy’s. “As long as you’re not busy, go grab me a beer.”
Bellamy rolled his eyes. “This is why we need to get you a boyfriend. So I’m not the one getting your drinks all the time.”
Clarke laughed in time with Miller’s smirk. “Not if my next boyfriend is better than you at video games. Then you’ll be getting us both drinks.”
Bellamy shook his head, and looked at Clarke. “Do you see what I have to deal with?” he asked her.
She shrugged. “I paint Octavia’s nails every week. It’s hard not to be a little married to your roommate.”
“You love it,” Octavia said.
He laughed, and the way his teeth all showed and the smile seemed too big for his face to contain made her cheeks run hot. “Want anything?”
She shook her head and tried not to think about how easily he made himself at home.
That night, Raven texted her at some point during her shower.
so? is the cyber crush still cyber?
Clarke called out a goodnight to Miller and Bellamy in the living room and then to Octavia as she rushed past her to the bathroom.
Do you ever grow tired of being right?
Raven’s reply was immediate.
Hahaha i knew it. can’t wait to see this all front row
* * *
Clarke hasn’t set an alarm on her phone for Christmas Day. She figured it would be perfectly alright if she stayed asleep through the morning, maybe got some painting done in the afternoon, and helped prep for tonight after.
She woke up at 8:30 AM to an alert on her phone.
Watch “Saturnalia”
from TalesfromDelphi
Even if she wanted to go back to sleep after seeing the alert, she wouldn’t have been able. There were too many questions. Questions that could easily be answered by clicking the link and watching the video. Did he film this beforehand? Was Bellamy awake already? What was Saturnalia? Seriously, did he film this video ahead of time or just now? In her apartment?
She swiped up, input her password, and clicked on the link.
Bellamy’s curly mop came up on her screen. He was wearing glasses and a cardigan, sitting in front of a world map that did not exist in her apartment.
She pulled her comforter over her nose and smiled.
He smirked at the camera. “Let’s talk about the Romans.”
* * *
Clarke tied her hair up, got dressed in her painting clothes, and typed up a quick comment to the video before leaving her room for coffee.
The couch was a pull-out, so Miller and Bellamy were able to share. When she reached the living room, Miller was sprawled out across the pull-out bed and slightly snoring.
“He’s a cuddler.” Bellamy’s voice made her jump and look up. He was looking at her amused over a cup of coffee. The glasses from the video were perched a little crookedly over his nose. “If I wasn’t such a heavy sleeper, I don’t think I would survived the night.”
She smiled. “The only time I’ve had to share with Octavia she kicked me off the bed.”
He laughed and nearly choked on his coffee. “Yeah,” he said with a cough, “that sounds like her.”
They stood there in a comfortable silence until he gestured at his cup. Well, technically Octavia’s cup, the one that said Winter is Coming. “I made a fresh pot a few minute ago, if you want some.”
“How could I refuse my own coffee?” she said and winked. For a moment, she panicked that might have been too flirtatious or abrasive but he just shook his head and laughed.
She went to the kitchen and served herself in a travel mug so she could keep it closed and warm while she worked.
On her way back, she showed him which remotes did what. Before she could leave, though, Bellamy asked, “Have you watched the documentary Chuck Norris vs. Communism?”
She shook her head. “Can’t say I have.”
He smirked and gestured at the screen with his chin. “You should. Want to join me?”
She made a show of deciding before spinning on her heel and making herself comfortable on the nearby armchair.
* * *
Halfway through the film Miller woke up and Clarke got up to use the restroom. While she washed her hands, her phone chimed.
Underneath her comment of, Since I have no background knowledge of Saturnalia and since the Fabricated Christmas Spirit is alive in me today, I will not start an argument, Bellamy had replied.
I disagree. You should definitely argue with me today. The Fabricated Christmas Spirit is deceiving you.
The only reason she didn’t burst out laughing was because she already biting her lip.
Quickly, she typed up a response. I think you should have gone with Francisco Goya’s painting when you explained who Saturn was instead of the picture you chose.
When, she got back to the living room Octavia was hanging over the back of the couch. Her head was stuck between Miller and Bellamy’s shoulders. “That was fast,” Octavia commented.
Miller snorted. “Are you seriously Googling the painting?”
“Shut up.” Bellamy’s response seemed habitual rather than angry. His eyebrows were furrowed as he typed. “I think I know--yup. She wanted me to put Saturn Devouring His Son in my video?”
Octavia laughed and rocked back off the couch. She saw Clarke and nodded at her. “Morning.”
Miller rolled his eyes at Bellamy’s phone and got up. “She’s probably joking around. You were the one who told her to argue with you.”
At this point, Clarke knew it would be weird if she didn’t say anything. And since she wanted to keep her secret, she needed to hide her tracks. “What’s going on?”
Her roommate was the first to answer. “Bell’s antagonizing his number one fan.”
“There,” he said to himself. Her phone chimed.
She hoped her face wasn’t as red as she imagined it to be.
“He flirts like a kid,” Miller told her as he tugged the sheets from under Bellamy.
“Shut up, Miller.”
Octavia smirked at her. “He’s right, it’s tragic.”
Clarke tried to smirk back, but knew it came out shaky. She went back to the armchair and hid her face behind her travel mug as she tried to calm her heart.
* * *
She never got back to painting.
Instead Clarke tried her best to sneak away every once in awhile to continue her back and forth with Bellamy. Though her replies were admittedly harder to come up with now that she knew he too had a cyber-crush on her. She texted Raven. Hell, she even texted Wells for good measure.
Her awkward situation just received an upgrade and she had no idea what to do with this new information. It’s not like she could ignore it. Not with Miller’s constant eyerolls whenever Bellamy went about replying and Octavia’s comments.
“I mean, honestly big brother.” She said, as she went about rearranging the living room furniture to fit all their guests. Just ask for her phone number already, so you're at the very least not spamming your subscribers.”
Clarke had been busy grabbing the pots and pans Bellamy asked for, as they shared small smiles when Octavia spoke up.
Miller seemed to be on the same page as the younger Blake. “I’m sure they don’t mind. Some of his nerds quote, unquote ship them.”
Bellamy was blushing at this point. “Alright, can we stop this now? You guys are making me look like a freak in front of Clarke.”
She laughed, because she knew she should, and smirked, because she wanted to. “I really don’t mind.”
His face dropped in betrayal. Then he gave her a stern look she imagined he’d perfected through his years teaching.
* * *
“Looks like you’re not the only one with a crush.” Raven bumped her hip into Clarke’s in the dining room where the drinks were set up. It was Lincoln’s suggestion they set dinner up buffet style when he arrived two hours ago. Followed by Wells, who turned up as a surprise for Clarke right after Lincoln. Everyone else showed up about half an hour ago.
This had been more than enough time for Octavia to start another round of bonding through competition. Currently, Miller and Monty were duking it out playing their third round of Mortal Kombat. As soon as they were done, Clarke and Raven were next. Lincoln, Jasper, Wells, and Octavia were yelling over a game of Juno--a ridiculous combination of Jenga and Uno Jasper had created as a drinking game in college.
“Huh?” Clarke decided to bypass the teasing.
Raven gestured over to the couch where Monty had just shoved Miller’s shoulder. Miller ducked his head and shoved him back. “Cute, huh?” she asked and clicked her tongue.
Clarke shook her head. “Gonna give them a hard time?”
“Yup,” she said, popping her p. “Hey lovebirds! You done flirting yet? Or do Clarke and I need to force you off the console?”
Miller glared. Monty was able to form a response. “Sorry didn’t mean to cut into your totally platonic time with Clarke.”
“Yeah you better be sorry, Green.”
“And he says I’m pathetic.” Clarke would have loved to say she didn’t jump when Bellamy snuck up beside her, but she did. He wa smirking down at her with a casserole tray in his hands. “If I flirt like a kid, Miller flirts like a toddler.”
She couldn’t help herself. “So you really have a cyber-crush?”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s not weird and I don’t.”
She shrugged at him and hoped her tone comes out teasing not hopeful. “I’ve seen you check your phone every time you leave the kitchen.”
He passed her and set down the casserole tray. “Fine, a little.”
“No, no,” she said, raising her hands in the air. “I get it.” Did she ever.
Bellamy crossed his arms and gave her a look of disbelief. “Uh-huh.”
She leaned in toward him and ignored the nervous flutter in her belly. She kept her voice low. “Raven’s been teasing me about my own cyber-crush.”
He instantly perked up. “Really? You?”
“What?” she asked. “You think you have a monopoly on Internet relationships?”
His laughter came out as a shock. “I wouldn’t call it a relationship. She’s… well, she’s incredibly smart but it’s not like we’ve taken the conversations out of the comment section.”
Not until yesterday.
“Clarke!” Octavia called out, catching both their attentions. Jasper was crumbled in front of a pile of Jenga blocks in despair. It looked like he lost. “If two wanna keep talking, take it to the kitchen. I’m starving!”
She was about to bring up the fact that Lincoln was supposed to be helping with dinner before Octavia decided to flaunt her boyfriend’s skills during a game of Pictionary that never occurred.
“No way! It’s finally our turn.” Raven’s objection was followed by Monty pushing a finger gun to his temple. “Get your ass over here, Griffin. You can hit on Big Blake later.”
Clarke was going to kill her best friend on Christmas.
“Damn,” Bellamy said, “is everyone just pairing up tonight in your head, Reyes?”
She smirked.
* * *
Dinner was amazing. And there was more than enough to go around. She and Octavia would be living off of leftovers for a while even if everyone took some to go.
They were at the point of the night where Octavia decided now was a perfect time for drinking games. Monty, as always, had been kind enough to bring his homemade stuff. Jasper used to say that Monty’s first batches back in high school tasted like fire and burned you up just as fast. Taste had never been an issue with Monty’s drinks since Clarke met him. But they did get you drunk almost immediately.
The ones who weren’t hanging off the couch were splayed out on the living room floor.
Monty, Jasper, and Raven were the only three people in the room who weren’t drunk off their asses. And maybe Lincoln. It was always so tough to tell with that guy.
“Never Have I Ever,” mumbled Octavia into her shoulder.
Clarke knocked her head to the side, knocking it into her roommate’s on accident. “How are you even human?”
“She’s not,” mumbled Lincoln from Octavia’s other side.
“Demon,” Bellamy added.
“Oh!” Wells said suddenly. “We never did gifts.”
Everyone groaned from their respective spots.
He chuckled once. “Yeah, alright. Maybe tomorrow.”
Clarke ran a hand over her face. “Oh god, you’re all to drink to leave my home, huh?”
“Yup,” Bellamy answered without missing a beat. “I’m too rum, Wells is too moonshine, I’m gonna guess Jasper’s too...vodka?”
“Huh?”
Octavia pat her cheek lightly. It must have been what she thought qualified as a comforting gesture. “You said drink instead of drunk.”
“Ah.” She lifted her head and struggled to keep her eyes still enough to find Bellamy. She pointed a finger in his direction, hoping to be a little intimidating. “You’re not so smart...as smart...as you think.”
He snorted. “What about you?”
She smirked, “I’m a freaking genius. You know I was accepted to med school?”
“Did not.” He seemed amused.
“Well I was. Ask me anything!” She’d prove, once and for all, her intellectual prowess to him.
“What’s the capital of Spain?” God, his stupid little smirk was ridiculously attractive. He sucked.
“That’s cheating.”
“You said I could ask anything.”
“Octavia,” she said, shaking her friend’s shoulder now that her head was on Lincoln’s shoulder. “Your brother is a cheater.”
Octavia’s palm met her face in a sloppy grab. “Shh, shh, shh, Clarke. If you’re gonna hit on my brother in front of me, do it when I’m sober enough to yell at you two to get a room.”
“Bellamy would never cheat on the Princess,” Miller said in a monotone. It sounded like a reflex response more than anything.
Raven and Wells both made an amused noise.
“Shut up, Miller.”
“Yeah, shut up guys.”
* * *
Clarke woke up at 3 AM still a little drunk and feeling like an idiot. She pulled out her phone and opened up Youtube. Of course she knew the capital of Spain!
Madrid.
* * *
She woke up again at 8:30 the next morning. When her eyes opened and she adjusted to being awake, she realized what did it. Outside of her room, someone was pacing back and forth.
“Um.” Her voice came out light and shaky. Clarke cleared her throat. “Who’s there?”
The pacing stopped. Then, pointlessly, the person knocked on the door.
“Come in?”
The door creaked open. A sliver of light came in and made her raise her arm up to her eyes. “Hey, uh, Clarke?”
It was Bellamy.
A hand came up from the ground and slapped her mattress. “Mmm, it’s early.” Raven. Right, Raven dragged her back to her room last night.
“Sorry,” she whispered down to her friend.
She stepped over her and tip-toed over to the door. Bellamy smiled tightly at her and whispered an apology to Raven. The door shut lightly behind them, and she leaned back on it.
“What’s up?”
He raised a mug of already prepared coffee toward her. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
The mug was warm when she grabbed it. She smiled at him gratefully and took a small sip. “Coffee more than makes up for it.”
“Can we talk?” The question was sudden and unexpected.
She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Isn’t that what we’re currently doing?”
His hand went to his neck. He was nervous. “Uh, yeah. But I mean somewhere private.”
Now she was really confused. “Sure?”
They went to her studio. There was only one seat so Clarke sat on the floor and Bellamy followed her lead. He was tapping a finger on one of her mugs. The one she painted herself and then ruined by putting in the dishwasher before baking it.
“I’m not sure how to ask this without it being weird, so I’ll go ahead and just--” he stopped suddenly, searching her face. “You don’t know what I’m trying to say?”
Clarke shrugged and took another drink of her coffee. “I can honestly say I have no idea why you wanted to talk to me in private.”
“Have you watched my videos?”
She nodded. “Yeah, Octavia showed me them right after she moved in.”
He nodded back but still seemed frustrated. “I guess the better question is do you watch them? Present tense.”
“Um.” Shit, did he know? How could he know? She didn’t think she’d been super obvious last night. In fact, she remembers Raven gave her a hard time right before they fell asleep for not saying anything.
“Clarke,” she had said, “he’s clearly into you. Digital and IRL.”
He was watching her. Waiting for something. “Are you PrincessoftheArc?”
Fuck.
She could just deny it. Instead she started to ask “How did you find out?” Then stopped right after you and before find.
Because all at once, she remembered waking up last night. She knew the answer to his question. And because they’d been arguing she forgot it was all in real life and not online. “Madrid.”
When her eyes met his, she instantly began to panic. Clarke knew she needed an excuse. A good one. For everything. Not saying anything at the start, not saying anything before Christmas, at Christmas, ever.
Then, unexpectedly, his hands were on her cheeks. Both. Holding her steady, and pulling her slightly forward. In his eyes, she could see there was no anger. He seemed...relieved.
Raven was right.
He should kiss her before she could form a sentence and ruin it all. “You’re not mad?” Too late.
His laughter was deep and low. Their foreheads pressed together. “Are you kidding?” he asked. “Not when I’m this happy.”
She licked her lips and pressed into him first. He didn’t hesitate to answer.
When they started to pull apart, he lingered and gave her another short peck.
“For the record,” she said, breathless, “I still think you should have gone with the gory Goya painting for yesterday’s video.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “You’re the worst.” But his tone was so fond she could hear the word best hiding under worst.
“I’m just saying--” She stopped to kiss him again. “I’m on call if you ever need recommendations.”