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“No.”
The word falls from his lips almost before his mother finishes, and he can hear her stop mid-word on the other end of the phone.
“Ben, it would make the most sense-“
“No,” he says again, simply and matter-of-factly as he wipes down the counter, phone propped between his shoulder and his cheek as he gives the bar top another run-over. “No, I’m not hosting it, Mom, I don’t want alcohol, not when she’s all grabby now.”
“Ben, it’s a family holiday party, we don’t need to have alcohol.”
“So you say,” he mutters, looking up towards where his daughter is spinning one of the contraptions on her little bouncer, the really annoying one that rattles and spins a high-pitched melody every time her hand clumsily sends it rolling. Yep. His patience is cutting short, and fast. He sighs as he continues cleaning. “Mom, the apartment’s too small.”
“It’s just going to be me, your father, and maybe Uncle Luke. We’ll bring food, you won’t have to make or do anything, just provide the apartment. I’ll even make those cookies you love so much? And you can bring Rey, if you want.”
Ben stops mid-swipe, pulling back. “Which cookies?” he asks, watching as Amy spins the damn toy again.
“The chocolate ones. With the caramel and peanut butter.”
He can just picture her right now, sitting in her favorite chair in the living room, glasses perched on her nose and smirking. He has no idea whether his father rubbed off on her, or if she’s always been this cunning, but he sighs as he leans on the counter and runs his hand down his face. He braces his chin in his palm as he watches his daughter give another spin, the shrill melody playing yet again. He’s going to go deaf soon, he swears.
“… fine,” he concedes, and he can practically hear her grin. “But nothing big. No big turkey, no huge tree, none of that. We’re doing simple. Burgers if we have to.”
“That’s hardly a Christmas feast, Ben.”
She’s already gotten her way, she knows. He just sighs and goes with it. “All right, we’ll have whatever you want. Just … bring enough for Poe and Finn and their kid. If I’m doing this, I need allies.”
He hears her soft chuckle on the other end of the phone, and smiles despite himself, memories of crackling fires and glittering trees and warm cookies and –
Ben groans softly as he watches Amy’s hand reach for the toy again, the melody yet again triggered by her little fingers. “Damn it all…”
-
“Tell me you didn’t buy her one of those toy Ferraris.”
Ben blinks as he stands in the doorway to the apartment, keys still in the door and hand still on the knob as he watches Rey hold Amy up, his daughter’s feet on her thighs. “Huh?”
Rey nods to just by the door, and he leans over to look at the giant box that’s sitting to his right. Racking his brain for anything that he could’ve ordered, he stops, still halfway through the door. No, his present for BB’s not that big, unless they grossly over-packaged it…
“I have no idea what that is,” he admits, stepping through and stomping his slush-slicked shoes on the mat. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Rey lifting Amy a little bit, his daughter’s shrill laughter echoing throughout the apartment and making him smile after a much-too-long day at the office.
“I signed for it, whatever it is,” Rey replies as he sets his briefcase down and walks over to examine the tape and label. “He didn’t say what it was, though.”
“I didn’t buy anything this big,” Ben says, frowning as he takes his keys and uses one to tear through the tape. He busts through the heavy packing job and pulls the top apart. His stomach drops as he sees the several smaller boxes inside, and the one larger box that takes up most of the package. “She didn’t…”
“Who didn’t?” Rey asks, and she sounds closer as he pulls out one of the boxes of red and gold baubles, the plastic kind that don’t break. He looks back down at the box and notices a few more in variations of red, green, white, and gold, complete with a set of wire hooks. The artificial tree takes up most of the package, two strings of lights shoved in between the baubles and the box.
“My mom bought us a tree,” he mutters, looking up just as Rey comes to stand beside him, holding Amy in her arms. She doesn’t tear her eyes away from the package as she transfers Amy over to her father.
Ben takes his daughter, kissing the soft skin of her cheek in greeting as Rey bends and pulls the ornaments out. He watches as she pulls everything out, ending up with a few dozen plastic baubles and hooks, the tree, and a few wooden cut-out ornaments in shapes like reindeer and snowflakes and what he guesses are generic holiday symbols.
“You’re celebrating Christmas here?” she asks, eyes turning to him after she’s pulled everything but the tree from the box.
“Guess so,” he admits with a shrug. “It’s more of a holiday party. Yeah, we have a tree and exchange gifts, but it’s not like we sit around and sing carols or any of that. Mom bakes and cooks, Dad does his best to help her, Uncle Luke sits and talks with them. It’s just been us for as long as I can remember. Oh, and Chewie.”
“Chewie?” Rey asks, smiling.
“My dad’s best friend,” Ben replies, rocking with Amy in his arms as she starts to get a little restless. He turns and kisses her temple, a series of little pecks that apparently tickles and gets her grinning. “Big hairy dude, shit at English, gives the best hugs.”
He watches as her smile changes. It’s like a switch, sudden in its shift from wistful to sad, and he wonders what he said as she looks down at the baubles and the tree, crossing her arms over her chest. “That sounds wonderful.”
“You’re welcome to come.”
Well, there it is, then. He’d planned on inviting her later, on maybe knocking on her door the day of so that she didn’t have to think about buying gifts or anything. But it’s out in the open, now, and he continues rocking with Amy as Rey’s eyes meet his, wide and surprised.
“Isn’t it a family thing, though?” she asks, and he can hear the waver in her voice as she looks towards him and then back towards the tree, then back at him.
He shrugs, shifting Amy as his arm starts to ache. “The more the merrier, really, not to be cheesy or anything. I was planning on asking Poe and Finn if they wanted to bring BB, too. I have presents to give them anyway.”
“Oh.”
That’s all he gets. A soft little ‘oh.’ Not a yes, not a no. An ‘oh.’
“I might put it up tonight, if you want to help me?” he asks, nodding to the tree and the baubles. “I can’t do it by myself, it would take forever with all of these ornaments.”
It’s there that he gets a soft smile, her eyes lighting up as she looks down at the mess of gold and green and red and glitter. “Sure,” she replies, voice quiet. “I’ll help.”
-
There’s something about Christmas that affects Rey, he decides as he puts piece 2 on top of piece 1, according to the directions that came with the tree. Since he pulled the box of baubles and ornaments and the tree over to the clearest corner of the room with an outlet, she’s thrown herself into playing with Amy.
Maybe this is what she’s always like when he’s not around, he thinks, as she makes goofy noises that resulted in his daughter giggling madly. Maybe she’s always this into the bouncer, he thinks as she sat with Amy for a good 45 minutes and spun every toy, pressed every button, triggered every sound and lit every light. Maybe he’s just playing wrong, quieter than she is and a little less enthusiastic. Or maybe there’s something about the tree and baubles and his offer of an invitation that upset her.
If it’s the last one, then …. well shit.
He doesn’t know how to fix this.
“Do you want me to put her to bed? Does she need a bath?”
“Huh? Ow, fuck,” Ben hisses, too lost in his thoughts to realize that there was a branch right in front of his eye, and nearly jerking right into it. He blinks and looks up to see Rey standing with Amy on her hip. She’s pulled a sweater on over her tank top, an ugly brown patterned thing that’s open in the front and looks more cozy than fashionable. He winces, trying to see properly after getting poked. “Uh, no, she doesn’t need a bath tonight.”
“So I can just get her ready for bed?” Rey asks.
“If you don’t mind, I’m trying to figure out where piece 3 is,” Ben replies, looking down at the directions and the collection of dark green fake branches in the box.
“Sure.” Again, her voice is soft, and Ben looks back up at her as she turns away, her lips pressed to the top of Amy’s head and steps slow to the bedroom.
Yep. He definitely fucked up somehow.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair harshly enough to make him wince, gaze slipping down back to the directions.
The tree is finished by the time she emerges, holding Amy in her arms once more. Ben’s just standing and pulling the plastic wrap off of the packaged branches, starting from the top and working his way down when she approaches him with a very sleepy Amy, passing her off to him with a smile.
“Someone wanted Daddy,” she whispers, and he reaches out for his daughter, taking her beneath her arms and lifting her to rest against his chest.
Her small size never fails to amaze him, his hand spreading across her back as he holds her and presses his lips to her downy light brown hair. He’ll miss this, he knows. The smell of lavender lotion and powder and something that’s entirely baby. He’ll miss this when she’s 3, 4, 5 … when she’s 20, though he doesn’t dare to think that far.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he mutters against her head, feeling her wriggle against him, impatient and wanting bed before she realizes that it’s him and settles with a soft little sigh.
“I’m going to need to request a bonus after that diaper,” Rey teases, voice light, and he looks up to see her smiling again. Not the sad smile he got earlier, thankfully. It’s far from her normal bright, sure, but it’s something, at least.
He can feel Amy slipping off into sleep, and that’s not what he wants, not yet at least. He needs her to fall asleep in the crib and not his arms. But it’s been almost a week and a half since he was able to hold her and rock her, with the extra hours he took on to get more gifts for the wonderful people who have entered his life …
One of whom is standing directly in front of him and smiling sweetly as he adjusts Amy to hold her more firmly, to feel her breathing even out, slow and deep.
“I’m just gonna …” he whispers, looking down to Amy.
Rey nods, still smiling. “Go,” she whispers back. “I’ll unwrap the rest of the tree.”
He wants to tell her that she’s an angel. That she is perfect and she is kind and she is one of the best things that’s ever happened to him. But instead the words catch just behind his teeth, much to his relief, and he just offers her a smile and a simple nod before he’s walking into the nursery to sit in the rocking chair. Just for a few minutes, he tells himself, even when he knows it’ll likely end up being a half hour or more with his daughter in his arms and his lips pressed to the top of her head.
-
He doesn’t know how long he’s spent holding his daughter, but by the time he emerges with his heart feeling fuller than it has in the past few days, Rey’s finished spreading the fake branches and is instead in the kitchen. He frowns as he hears the clinking of plates and the sound of the microwave, but his confusion lifts once he sees her emerge with a few pieces of leftover pizza, the microwave stopped just before it went off to keep from waking Amy with its annoying beeping.
“You haven’t eaten,” Rey says matter-of-factly, handing a plate with two pieces of pepperoni to him with a grin that looks much more like her normal smile.
“How do you know that?” he asks, grinning back as he takes the plate from her.
“Because when you get home you usually ask if I’ve eaten and then you try to force food into me while also feeding yourself,” Rey replies. “Neither of us have eaten.”
“This is true,” Ben admits, looking towards where the tree stands, bare and ready for trimming. “I’ll do lights if you start to unpack the ornaments?”
“Mhm,” Rey hums around a mouthful of pizza, reaching up to wipe away tomato sauce from her chin.
Ben snorts and moves to the box, gathering the lights and unwrapping them as best as he can as he hears Rey unpack the ornaments as quietly as she can. Out of the corner of his eye as he wraps the lights around the tree, he sees her sitting crosslegged on the floor, the pack of hooks in front of her and the big box of ornaments tugged to her side.
If he was home, they would have music. They would have music, and Chewie would be here with his special hot chocolate that Ben was somehow allowed to have sips of when he was little despite the absurd amount of Bailey’s in it. But he’s not home, and there’s no music, and there’s no hot chocolate.
He finds that he doesn’t mind as he wraps the lights around the tree, looking down to see Rey putting hooks on the ornaments dutifully, getting a good pile started beside her.
“My mom has an ornament on the tree,” Ben starts, trying to fill the silence as he moves around to tuck the strand of lights between the fake branches. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see that Rey’s gaze has shifted to him. “I think it’s plaster. It has my hand from my first Christmas pressed into it. Should I do that for Amy, or is that too cheesy?” he asks, shoving the lights around the back and looking to Rey as he walks to the other side.
“I think it’s sweet,” Rey replies, and once again her voice has that soft quality that has Ben wondering what in the hell he did. “They probably have kits for it.”
“Is it too much, though? I mean, they have ornaments that say ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ and you just put a picture in,” he protests, stopping to untangle a bit of the wire.
He hears laughter. Soft, obviously-trying-to-keep-from-being-too-loud laughter, and turns to look down at the girl sitting in the middle of his living room floor, her gaze towards the rug as she giggles, shaking her head. “What’d I say?” he asks, blinking in confusion as he holds the mess of tangled wires in his hand.
“You’re really overthinking this, Ben,” she teases, looking up at him, and there’s that grin he loves so much, bright and beautiful.
“Sorry that I want my daughter’s first Christmas to be remembered,” he mutters, feeling the tips of his ears heat in embarrassment. “I mean, it’s not really a big deal, it’s just another day of the year, it’s just-“
“If you want the plaster, get the plaster. If you want a picture, get a picture. Simple,” Rey replies as she stands, crossing to the other side of the tree. “Here, pass it around.”
“It’s tangled, I’m untangling it,” Ben mumbles, but he passes it over anyway.
It’s not until she tugs it around and walks over to him that he realizes that he managed to pass it around himself, the wire wrapped around his waist and pressing him to the tree. He chuckles awkwardly even as his cheeks turn bright red, waiting as Rey comes closer, waiting for her to realize what happened.
“Here, you take this and pass it back around, and then…” she starts trailing off when she sees that he’s making no move to take the lights from him. “What’re you-?”
He watches as her eyes follow the trail of lights, from the ones in her hand to the ones wrapped around his waist, and then he watches as her other hand flies to her mouth to stifle her laughter.
“Yeah, sure, kid, laugh it up,” he replies, smirking as she continues to giggle.
“Wait, wait wait,” Rey insists, setting the wires on the tree before she rushes to the box.
“Wait for what?” Ben asks, watching as she rummages through the baubles and emerges victorious. It’s not the biggest gold star he’s seen, but it’s something at least, and she grins as she tries to reach up to put it on his head, going on her tiptoes. Humoring her, just for a bit, he bends his knees and lets her set it on top just for a moment.
“We could use you as the Christmas tree instead,” she offers.
“Uh huh, sure,” he teases. “Now untie me, please? There’s a branch in my thigh.” But he grins as she hides her giggles behind her palm, the sound better than any old CD of Christmas music that his mother would’ve put on.
-
He shouldn’t have expected anything less, really. Of course she was going to call, of course she was going to ask. And of course it would’ve been directly after Rey left with a smile and a wave and glitter stuck to her freckled cheeks.
“Did you get the tree?”
“Yes, Mom.” It’s an automatic response as he looks towards the now-glittering tree. At Rey’s insistence, they’d turned off every other light in the apartment, and he has to admit while he can’t see much past the little ring of illumination the tree provides, it does look pretty. He smiles a bit, watching the lights flicker. “Rey helped me decorate it.”
“She’s coming on Saturday, isn’t she?”
“Well, I asked-“ Ben starts.
“Ben Solo, don’t you dare tell me that that girl isn’t coming after all she’s done for you.”
“I’m just saying that I asked. I didn’t get a yes or a no from her, but we’ll see, okay? I still need to text Finn and Poe and see if they can come or not, and if they want to bring BB.”
“Bribe her. Tell her that she’ll get two weeks pay if she comes!”
Ben startles at his father’s voice in the background, before he sighs, running his hand down his face. “Oh, my god, Dad…”
“Han’s looking forward to seeing her again,” Leia insists, and Ben has to chuckle a bit at that.
“All right, fine. I’ll bribe her,” he replies, grinning despite himself, watching the tree glitter in the corner and honestly wondering what his daughter’s reaction will be to the shining lights. “I promise. I’ll ask again tomorrow, and get a definitive answer. How’s that for a promise?”
-
He doesn’t get an answer the next day.
Well, he doesn’t get one from Rey, at least. A text to Poe gets a quick response of ‘YES!!!!’ followed by every festive emoji Ben can think of, and a few he didn’t even realize existed. He snorts before continuing his work, occasionally replying to Finn’s follow-up texts asking what they could bring.
By the time he returns home, it’s dark, and the wind is whipping the tails of his coat. He shoves his hands into his pockets and pulls his coat collar up as much as he possibly can, keeping his head low and nose pressed to the wool. The warm sight of the tree and Rey sitting on the couch is a welcome greeting. He smiles as he quietly shuts the door behind him, setting his briefcase down as Rey turns, looking at him over the back of the couch.
“Hey,” she greets gently, and he shrugs out of his coat, shivering.
“Hey,” he whispers back, walking over. “How long has she been asleep?”
Rey checks her phone quickly. “About a half hour,” she replies, and that’s when Ben notices the mug of hot chocolate beside her, half-gone but marshmallows still floating on the top.
“I didn’t know we had hot chocolate,” he mutters, frowning. His gaze shifts, and that’s when he sees another one beside hers, in a mug he doesn’t recognize.
“Oh, I brought it over,” Rey explains. “And the mugs. And the marshmallows.” Her smile is sweet and shy. “It might not be really hot chocolate anymore, maybe very warm chocolate, but that one’s for you.”
“… wait, what?”
She smirks as she grabs the mug that says ‘Niima University’ in big garish brown letters on the front and offers it to him. “Didn’t know whether you liked marshmallows or not.”
“Hell yeah, you have a bag of them?” he asks, leaning over the side of the couch as she laughs and pulls a bag of mini marshmallows from the table, taking a handful and plopping them into his mug.
She’s right. It’s not exactly hot anymore, but it’s warm enough to still be good as he walks around to settle beside her, trying to avoid getting a marshmallow stuck to his upper lip. “How was she today?”
“Very attracted to the tree,” Rey replies, grinning, and his heart lurches. He missed it, he missed her reaction, and he sighs before there’s a soft pressure on his thigh, and he looks down to see Rey’s phone.
“Don’t worry, I filmed it.” Her grin is blinding and a little cheeky, and he finds himself grinning back, looking down to the screen. A quick press has him watching Amy in Rey’s arms, the angle a little off and camera a little shaky, but his daughter is looking at the tree with awe in her big brown eyes, and Rey’s laughing beside her. “You like it?” Rey asks in the video, watching as Amy looks it up and down. “It’s shiny, isn’t it? It’s pretty, huh?” Amy’s little hand reaches out to touch one of the ornaments, and then Rey’s laughing again. “Oh, no, not that one, now you’ve got glitter all over you!”
“I washed her hand as best as I could,” Rey assures from next to him, leaning over to see the video. He can feel the heat of her against his side as she holds her hot chocolate, pressing close.
“It’s okay,” he says, watching as the video repeats itself and trying not to combust as Rey snuggles just a bit closer. Could she … ? No, she’s just watching the video. “A little glitter around Christmastime is kind of a given, especially with those ornaments.”
He watches again as Amy reaches towards the lights, the shining ornaments, and the beauty that is the tree. He smiles down at it, heart suddenly sinking as he realizes that it really is her first Christmas.
He’d said it. Hell, he’d even thought it, but then he remembers the last Christmas he had, alone in his apartment with a box of peppermint bark and not a single scrap of greenery, let alone a tree. No presents, no family with him, no baby. No Amy. No Rey.
And now suddenly they’re here, a year later, and he has a new life. A newborn daughter, and Finn, and Poe, and BB, and Rey.
“Ben?”
“Hm?” he asks, blinking and realizing that his eyes are wet with tears, the soft hum getting a little stuck in his throat.
“You all right?”
God, Amy really does look like she could be her daughter. Big doe eyes, warm brown and bright amber when the light hits just right. He finds himself grinning and nodding before he can even process what he’s agreeing to. “Yeah,” he says, licking his suddenly dry lips as he reaches for his lukewarm hot chocolate. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
-
“Ben Solo, I am serious, you need to tell us what to bring.”
“Nope,” Ben says, popping the ‘p’ as he walks around the outdoor market, looking up at all the wreathes and branches of holly and bundles of mistletoe. “Bring yourselves.”
“That’s not helpful, Ben.”
He snorts as he looks to Rey beside him, his daughter in the backpack strapped to his chest. After days of sitting inside with Amy, he thought the Christmas market near the park would be a good outing for the both of them. Amy’s snug against his chest, wrapped in a blanket and covered with a hat and little mittens. Rey’s bundled up in a brown puffer coat and pale cream scarf, her hands shoved in her pockets as a few strands of hair whip around her face, having escaped from the loose bun she’d hurriedly made.
“You know, I’ve never been here before,” she pipes as they pass a stall with apple cider.
“Ben, you need to tell me what to bring.”
“Your son, Poe. I don’t know, Mom’s taking care of all of it. I guess if you want to bring an appetizer or something? Or whatever BB’s going to want to drink?” Ben asks, looking down to where Rey’s taking in everything, bright-eyed and red-cheeked.
“For fuck’s sake-“
“Daddy! Language!” Ben resists the urge to snort in laughter as he hears BB from nearby, the two words screamed at the top of his little lungs.
“Right, right, sorry, sweetheart, Daddy’s frustrated with Uncle Ben. Inside voice please, babe.”
Uncle Ben. That shouldn’t make him as happy as it does, and he finds himself grinning like a fool as he stops, stepping away from the main path as Rey walks forward to one of the stalls selling hot chocolate. There are flavors he didn’t even consider, like caramel and honey and cinnamon, and he waits with his other hand rubbing down Amy’s back through the thick cushioned backpack. “Drinks. You can bring drinks.”
“We’re making cookies tonight, want me to bring a few if they aren’t too covered in sugar?”
Ben grins. “Yeah, sure, if you feel like it,” he replies, watching as Rey hands over a few bills and returns with two cups of hot chocolate, steam wafting through the cold December air. Thankfully they both have lids – he wouldn’t dare drink with Amy beneath him if it were open. Rey passes one to him, and he smells vanilla and mint as they start to walk again. “Drinks for you and Finn and BB, cookies if you want. That’s all you need to do, Mom’s got the rest handled.”
“All right, fine. You win this one, Solo. But we’re bringing an extra present for Amy.”
Ben groans softly, drawing Rey’s attention. She looks at him curiously. “No, no more baby stuff.”
“It’s nothing big, I promise.”
“Does it make noise?” Ben demands.
“Not unless you throw it against something.”
Rey snorts, and Ben looks over to see her smirking, having heart Poe on the other line. He offers a small smile back, looking ahead towards the stalls they haven’t reached yet. “All right, I’ll consent to that,” he teases, and hears Poe laughing on the other line.
“See you Saturday?” the other dad asks.
“See you Saturday, 4 o’clock,” Ben confirms, before they say their goodbyes and he hangs up, slipping his phone back into his pocket.
Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Rey going up on her tiptoes to see Amy. “She still asleep?”
“Yeah, she’s conked out,” Ben replies, looking down at his daughter where her head is leaning on his chest. Her little mouth is open, and he tugs up the blanket a bit so she isn’t breathing in air that’s quite so harsh with cold. “I think I wore her out playing this morning.”
“Better than taking the big stroller,” Rey admits, taking a sip of her hot chocolate before making a face. “Ach, hot – be careful.”
He shouldn’t think her sticking her tongue out to cool it in the freezing air is cute. He shouldn’t think the fact that she takes another sip just to do the exact same thing is cute. He shouldn’t be thinking she’s cute at all, given that she’s probably at least 10 years his junior and employed by him besides. But he can’t help it, can’t help thinking that she’s cute when her cheeks and nose are pink and she’s all bundled up. So he lets himself have a little moment, grinning down at her when she’s not looking, watching as she takes in everything with a sense of wonder and fascination.
They don’t buy much aside from the hot chocolate, except Rey ends up getting some chocolates for Finn for Christmas. Ben’s grateful she chooses to keep the box upright and holds it in both hands, else he fears the urge to hold her chilled fingers in his would be too strong to ignore.
-
“I never got an answer from you about tomorrow.”
“Hm?”
Ben glances up from where he’s feeding Amy to where Rey is plugging in the tree for the night. “Tomorrow,” he explains, turning back to scoop some more butternut squash mush from his daughter’s chin. Amy babbles a little more, and he snorts as more yellow food falls down her chin. “Hey, stop it, I know you like talking but you can’t talk with your mouthful, sweetheart.”
His purposefully funny face gets a giggle, and he smiles as he wipes her chin again. “Yeah, yeah, you’re cute and you know it,” he teases as he feeds her another bite. This one she takes eagerly.
“What do you mean tomorrow?” She sounds closer, and he looks up to see her standing beside him, watching as he uses the spoon to catch the mush his daughter didn’t quite get.
“You never said if you were coming or not, you just kinda said ‘oh’,” Ben explains, and the more nervous he gets the quicker his words come out. This was a bad idea, he shouldn’t have asked again. But his mother’s been pestering him, and then his dad texted earlier that day. He knows full well if Han texted him, then it’s something serious. Why his parents are taking Rey’s presence seriously, he has no idea, but his heart rate quickens as he looks back up at Rey.
She has her thumb to her mouth, biting on her nail and looking out into space in the way that she does when she’s concentrated or nervous, and he thinks maybe he’s not the only one overthinking things. “Poe, Finn and BB are coming, right?” she asks, looking to him.
“Yeah, they’re coming at about 4. Mom, Dad and Chewie are supposed to be here at 3, I have no idea when Uncle Luke’s getting here,” he replies, turning back to Amy to feed her a bit more squash.
“So it’s not just family?” she asks, and he can hear the shaking in her voice.
“No, not at all,” he replies, looking to her once he gets another spoonful in Amy’s mouth. Her cheeks are covered in squash at this point, but he’s just lucky he hasn’t had her smack her hand in the leftovers on her bib. That’s always fun – not.
“Sure, then. I’ll be here. Dress code?”
He snorts in surprise. “Whatever you want?” he asks, eyes finding his daughter as she swallows and starts to press her hand into one of the fallen globs of squash on the table. Oh, well. Clean while it lasted. “It’s nothing fancy. Just catching up and exchanging gifts, really.”
There’s silence from the girl beside him, but he feeds Amy another spoonful, chuckling as she spits it right back out. “All right, now that’s not funny.”
She gives him a gummy grin before she squishes more squash into the plastic tabletop, giggling.
“All right, fine, so it’s a little funny,” Ben admits as he wipes her face. “And you’re done, I guess, if you continue to be that way.”
“I’ve never had a family Christmas before.”
Ben stops, the wet cloth on Amy’s left cheek before he resumes cleaning her of yellow mush. “What do you mean?” he asks, frowning as he cleans Amy up and unbuckles her, pulling the bib off before lifting her out of her high chair and into his lap.
Rey has her arms crossed over her chest now, and is looking firmly down at the floor. She shrugs. “Just never had one.”
“What do you mean you never had a Christmas? Do you mean you celebrate something else? Or you had a non-religious family? Not that our Christmas is particularly religious,” Ben mutters, standing up and taking Amy with him in his arms.
“Foster home,” Rey says simply as she follows them into the living room. He sits down on the couch, and she sits next to him, taking Amy from him after a moment. “Our foster dad didn’t get us presents.”
“Okay, I get the whole not Christmas thing, but no presents this time of year?” Ben asks, frowning as he watches her sit Amy on her lap, grabbing one of the toys that’s on the coffee table and handing it to the little girl. Amy immediately goes towards the crinkly wing of the butterfly, holographic fabric reflecting the lights of the tree as crunches it. “That’s insane.”
“The older kids tried,” Rey explains, kissing the top of Amy’s head briefly before she turns and rests her cheek gently on top, face turned towards Ben. “But when Santa’s handwriting is the same one you see on the homework they helped you with, the magic kind of fades away. And then they just stopped trying.”
“So you’ve never had anything like this?” the father asks, frowning as he watches Rey press the antennae of the butterfly, the toy’s plush stomach lighting up rainbow colors as a tune plays. Amy startles a bit at the noise, but then presses her palm against the glowing body.
Rey shrugs. “Not really. I went to Poe and Finn’s last year for Christmas dinner, but nothing with a lot of people.”
“This is going to be chaos, then,” Ben replies truthfully, and he keeps a straight face as Rey laughs softly. “I’m not kidding. Between my parents, Poe and Finn, their kid, and Uncle Luke and Chewie, it’s going to be chaos. Be prepared to be hugged. A lot.”
Her smile softens to something that makes his heart hurt. It’s a little wistful, he guesses. Somewhat sad as she looks up at him, her cheek still resting on top of Amy’s head. “I think I can handle it,” she whispers, and something in her tone tells him that she hasn’t gotten many hugs, at least not from anyone aside from Poe, Finn and BB.
Tomorrow will fix that, he thinks wryly, not daring to speak it but giving her a little half smile as he watches her turn back to his daughter.
-
The day is dark, and dreary, and cold. A glance out the window shows that the sky is grey, but he doesn’t think too much about it. It’s winter, after all. And a white Christmas would make it harder for his mother, father, and both uncles to get there. He’s just grateful there’s no ice as the day goes on and he cleans the apartment as best as he can, Amy in her bouncer seat, watching him as he wipes tables and counters and fluffs the few pillows Rey said would make the couch look cozier. It does look good, he has to admit. Homey. Like someone put together lives there instead of a single dad who really needs a better job and more time with his daughter.
“Grandma and Grandpa will be here soon, sweetheart,” he mutters as he passes, pressing a kiss to his daughter’s head. Something feels off, and he can’t figure out why as he crosses to the desk, rag in hand to wipe it down.
Maybe it’s nerves, he thinks, as he moves his laptop and the pencil cup, wiping beneath them and grabbing a notebook that should go in the drawer. Maybe it’s just apprehension after not seeing Uncle Luke in over 5 years, he thinks, pulling the drawer open to throw the notebook in and catching sight of the silver frame.
Maybe it’s because it doesn’t feel complete.
She wouldn’t want to be here, he knows. But he sets the rag aside anyway, reaching into the drawer and pulling out the picture of Amy and her mother from the hospital. She didn’t like his parents. Han didn’t like her either, and he has the feeling his mother tolerated her. She wouldn’t be here. But the empty, sinking feeling he gets when he thinks of her doesn’t go away even as he looks down at her holding Amy, her expression soft for once.
“… think Santa would deliver a partner down the chimney?” he mutters, looking towards where his daughter is trying to reach the floor in her bouncer, stretching her little toes to feel the wood. He smirks, ex forgotten as the doorbell rings. The picture is set back, the drawer closed with a slam, and then he’s walking over to the door, yanking it open and staring in surprise at the girl before him.
“… hey?” he asks, brain short-circuiting pretty much immediately as he takes in red lips, red dress, and more of her legs than he’s ever seen. He covers himself with a quick cough.
“Hey, you’re early, it’s only 3,” he tries again, giving the best smile he can manage as his heart tries not to jump out of his mouth and run into his daughter’s sitter’s hands.
It hadn’t really occurred to him that he’s never seen Rey in a dress. Sure, she cleans up nicely the few times they’ve gone out with Poe and Finn, but it’s always been pants. And her clothes have always been casual with Amy – he gets it, a fancy dress and a baby don’t a good time make. But he racks his brain quickly as he stares at the off-the-shoulder sweater dress, trying to think of anytime he’s seen her in a dress, or hell, even a skirt. He comes up short.
“Is it too much?” she asks immediately, looking down at the dress. “I can go change, if you need me to be more casual. I just thought … the last time your parents met me, I was in my pajamas and half awake, and –“
“It’s hot,” Ben blurts, and immediately he resists the urge to turn right around and bang his head on the doorframe. “I-I mean, it’s not. It’s not too fancy, no, you don’t need to go change, its perfect.”
Great. Smooth, Solo. Fantastic save. Not.
Rey’s cheeks are very, very close to matching her dress and her lips, and he curses himself as he steps back, giving her space to enter the apartment. “Sorry,” he mutters. “You look good. Really, really good. Beautiful, even.”
And there goes his mouth again. He flounders, pointing to Amy. “I’m gonna … I think I just heard her pee, I’m gonna-“ he starts, before Rey catches one of his flustered hands and stills him for half a second. It’s enough for her to lean up and press a kiss to his cheek, quicker than a heartbeat and softer than anything he’s ever felt. Ben blinks as she moves back down to her tiptoes, letting go of his hand.
“Thanks.” It’s a quiet word, accompanied by a little smile that has his heart doing somersaults in his chest as he stares in surprise. “I can go take care of her.”
With that, she’s gone, walking across his apartment to scoop his daughter into her arms, lifting her with ease before turning to go down the hallway.
He has no idea how long he stands in the doorway, staring after the girls with the front door wide open, but he knows that it’s long enough for his uncle to arrive, at least.
“Ben!”
The father turns his head just in time to be enveloped in a hug way too tight to be considered normal, his uncle’s arms big enough to bend steel, Ben bets. Regardless of how tight the embrace, though, Ben grins, wrapping his arms around the other man’s back.
“Hey, Chewie,” he says. Damn, the man still smells the same after all these years. And is wearing the same brown jacket that’s seen better days. “Glad you could make it.”
“And miss goddaughter?” his uncle asks, pulling back. Ben grins at how the man’s trimmed his unruly beard for the occasion, dark eyes raking him up and down. “Never!”
“Good to know you only missed Amy,” Ben teases, pulling back a bit just as he hears Rey’s footsteps come back from the bedroom. He turns and sees Rey carrying Amy, and stops, staring at his daughter’s new getup. “… what the hell?”
“I snuck it by you on the way in,” Rey explains, grin brighter than the Christmas tree as she carries Amy over. “Isn’t it adorable?”
It is adorable. It’s also a lot of pattern, and Ben blinks as he realizes that Rey has put his daughter in the sleeper equivalent of an ugly Christmas sweater, the front of it looking exactly like some of the patterned, knitted getups he’s seen. “You put my daughter in an ugly Christmas sweater for her first Christmas,” he deadpans.
“And she looks damn cute in it,” Rey insists, carrying the 8 month old over. “And you must be Chewie? Or Uncle Luke?” she asks.
Ben turns to his uncle, and finds that the man’s looking at him skeptically. “Girlfriend?” he asks, raising a big furry brow.
“Huh? Oh, no, I guess Mom and Dad didn’t tell you,” Ben says quickly, trying to cover the blunder as he gestures towards Rey. “Rey Jakksun, babysitter. Or nanny I guess. She takes care of Amy while I work.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Rey offers, smiling as she shifts Amy over into Chewie’s hands as he reaches for her.
“She’s very pretty,” Chewie mutters lowly. “Should be girlfriend.”
Ben wants to smack him. But that would risk nearly smacking his daughter, who’s staring up at Chewie in confusion. The man’s grin threatens to split his cheeks, and Ben watches with a smile of his own as Chewie immediately lifts her up as if she weighs absolutely nothing. Amy starts giggling, and Ben crosses his arms over his chest as he watches, feeling Rey come to his side.
“So which one is he?” she asks, voice a whisper as she leans over.
“That’s Chewie,” Ben explains as he watches Chewie lift Amy again, a little higher than last time. “Careful! Ceiling!”
“Ah,” Rey says, nodding. “I figured.”
“Yep,” Ben replies, popping the ‘p’ just as there’s a knock at the door. “That’s probably Mom and Dad.”
It’s not.
He opens the door to BB looking up at him, and then the little boy’s running past his legs. “Auntie Rey!”
“BB, aren’t you going to say hi to Uncle Ben?” Poe calls.
“Hi, Uncle Ben!” It’s said as the kid hangs from Rey’s neck, the college girl laughing and trying to get a good grip on his slick dress pants.
Ben grins as Poe mutters something that sounds like ‘dios mio’ under his breath, shaking his head as Finn claps him on the shoulder. “It’s fine,” Ben insists, stepping aside to let the other two in. Finn’s holding a canvas bag and Ben can see brown-paper-wrapped presents inside of them, tied with baker’s string.
“Mom, Dad and Uncle Luke should be here shortly,” he explains as Poe steps through holding another paper grocery bag of what looks like soda, a to-go of cookies set on top. Just looking through the blue plastic top, Ben can see that they’re covered in sprinkles, and he grins as Poe passes him to head to the kitchen.
“Sounds good to me, who’s the other one?” Poe asks, already pulling out the soda and opening the fridge. Ben leans against the counter, looking back to where Chewie has sat himself on the sofa and is playing horsie with his daughter, bouncing her on his knees as she shrieks in laughter. Rey’s already speaking to Finn as she helps him set the presents beneath the tree with Ben’s, the father’s wrapped in brown paper as well since it was the only wrapping type he could find. He hopes his Sharpie doodles of holly and a tree on top can suffice as enough decoration, though.
“That’s Chewie, my dad’s best friend. My godfather, and Amy’s as well, unofficially,” Ben replies, nodding towards the large man as he helps unpack the sodas.
“Huh,” Poe says, before he frowns. “What’s that…?”
Ben stops, staring at the man in confusion. “Huh?” he asks, realizing that the other father’s looking directly at him. “What, is there something on my face?” he asks, only half teasing.
“Yeah,” Poe mutters, reaching and grabbing Ben’s chin to turn his head to the side. Ben can see the man’s confused frown turn up into an outright grin. “You got some lipstick on your cheek, babe.”
“Lipstick?” Finn asks as he comes around the corner. Ben casts a quick glance to the side, sighing when his effort shows Rey talking to Chewie.
“Ben got kissed,” Poe taunts, grinning as he shows his boyfriend. Finn lets out a low, playful whistle and grins as well.
“Rey’s wearing red lipstick,” Ben explains until he realizes that he just dug the hole even deeper. “It wasn’t anything, okay? I told her she looked good and she kissed me.”
“Uh huh, sure, wasn’t anything,” Poe teases.
Ben’s cheeks flush hot, and he’s opening his mouth to protest when there’s another knock on the door, and the sound of the door buzzer. Saved by the bell.
“Sorry, that’s probably Mom and Dad,” he mutters as he ducks out of Poe’s grip.
“We’re talking later, Solo!” the other father’s tone is teasing, but Ben also knows full well he won’t get out of it that easily as he walks to the door and yanks it open, for once relieved to see his mother standing there. “Hi, Mom.”
“Sorry we’re a little early,” Leia apologizes, and Ben smiles as he bends to kiss his mother’s cheek.
“That’s okay, so is everyone else, apparently. Where’s Dad?” he asks, pulling back and frowning at the lack of Han behind her.
“Getting the turkey,” Leia says simply as she walks in.
Ben stares after her. “Wait a second, turkey? I thought I said we weren’t doing fancy.”
“Well, you’re the one who didn’t come home for Thanksgiving, so we’re having a turkey. Keep the door open for your father.”
Ben opens his mouth to reply when there’s a loud ‘bang’ from the kitchen, and the tell-tale sound of a soda exploding on impact. Amy starts to wail immediately, startled, and before Ben can lunge towards her, Rey’s already hurrying over, scooping her from a concerned-looking Chewie’s arms and sweeping his daughter into her own.
He looks to the kitchen, through the hole in the wall where the bar extends from, and sees that Poe’s hand is poised as if holding a soda can. He can just see Finn behind him, grabbing paper towels for the spill.
“You’re Leia Organa,” Poe breathes, and Ben takes a quick step forward out of fear that the man might faint, his dark tan skin having paled considerably.
“Yes, I am,” his mother replies, smile friendly. “And you are…?”
“Dameron,” Poe says immediately. “Poe Dameron, ma’am. Huge fan, huge huge fan.”
“He’s not kidding,” Finn calls from the floor, and Ben walks around to help him mop up the Diet Coke that Poe dropped. The younger man offers him a grateful smile as Ben gets on his knees as well to wipe the sticky mess.
“You’ve written all of my favorite books, ma’am,” Poe says, words rapid-fire as he walks around the bar and offers his hand, taking Leia’s in his and kissing her knuckles quickly. “It’s an honor, Ms. Organa, I-“
“Hey! Hands off my wife!”
Ben turns and leans back to see around the wall, spotting his father coming in through the front door carrying a big aluminum-covered tray. “Hang on, Dad, let me get that,” he mutters, standing and tossing the paper towels away as Finn gets the last few spots. Ben hurries over, taking the heavy tray from his father.
“Who’re you?” Han demands, his gaze never leaving Poe. Ben can see Rey hiding her smile, her lips pressed together as she tries not to laugh.
“Poe Dameron, sir,” Poe says immediately. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-“
“Dameron, huh?” Han asks, and Ben has to resist laughing himself as his father looks Poe up and down. “You one of Ben’s friends?”
“Yes, Han, he’s the one who’s married to Finn, they have the little boy, remember?”
“Not married yet,” Finn pipes up, standing to toss the last of the paper towels away, stepping on the tile to make sure that it’s not sticky or slick with Diet Coke. “Getting there, but not yet.”
Ben watches his father look confused for half a heartbeat, and then he’s shrugging. “No harm done, kid.”
Much to his surprise, everything runs … smoothly, for the most part. Finn helps him get the turkey in the oven for reheating, and then they tackle the side dishes on the second rack. He can hear Poe speaking to his mother, watching out of the corner of his eye as Poe listens to every word she breathes with stars in his eyes. He smirks as he watches Han and Chewie sit next to each other, Rey sitting on the coffee table in front of them as they speak. He can’t hear what they’re saying, but Rey’s enthusiastically speaking with Han, and Chewie has Amy on his lap while BB seems to be shy but intrigued by the man. It takes some time for the kid to stand next to Chewie, but when he looks up after putting the green beans in the oven, BB’s sitting in between Chewie and the couch arm and swinging his legs as he talks animatedly.
“So she kissed you.”
He resists the urge to groan. But this is Finn. Finn, who asked him softly, no smirk in sight and no alternate agenda.
“Yeah, briefly,” Ben admits, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter. Finn mirrors his position next to him. “I don’t think I’ve seen her in a dress before, and I was … tongue-tied, I guess.”
“She doesn’t wear them often,” Finn replies. “She wears jeans more often than not. But I guess this is a special occasion for her, never having been to a party like this.”
“You know?” Ben asks, looking to the man next to him.
“Of course. Best friends, remember,” the student says. Ben has to admit, he looks good. In a black turtleneck and dark jeans, a brown leather jacket paired with it. Upon closer inspection, he notices that it’s Poe’s jacket, the same one the man wore to IKEA. “She had a shit childhood. Foster home to foster home until some guy named Plutt took her in.”
“I didn’t know,” Ben admits, watching as Rey reaches forward to hand a toy to Amy, her smile bright. “She never mentioned it.”
“It’s not something she really brings up,” Finn mutters, and then his smile brightens as his boyfriend comes back over. “Hey, you.”
“Hey, babe,” Poe breathes, and Ben chuckles at the flush on the man’s cheeks. “You never told me your mother was Leia Organa.”
“It never came up,” Ben replies with a shrug as he smiles and moves out of the way, Poe reaching for the fridge. There’s a knock on the door soon after he pushes off of the counter. “That should be Luke. I’ll be back, okay?”
“Yep,” Poe says absentmindedly as he looks for another soda.
Ben snorts, shaking his head as he chuckles and walks to the door, heart racing as he opens it. He smiles nervously as he leans on the doorframe. “You have a beard.”
“You have a daughter,” Luke replies matter-of-factly, smile slight and kind as he stands holding two boxes in his hands. “Shall we state the obvious some more?”
The father grins and shakes his head, taking the boxes and stepping aside to let his uncle in. “How’s work at the university?” he asks.
“Fine, just fine. Lots of students. Eager minds. Well, some of them, at least,” his uncle replies, stepping inside and removing his hat, some spots bearing flakes of white snow that quickly melt as he sets the hat on the table by the door. “Others, not so much.”
“Luke!”
And with his mother’s exclamation, Ben finds himself walking to the tree, setting the presents beneath it. He jumps when he feels a hand on his back, and looks up to see Rey standing beside him. “Oh, hey,” he says, smiling as he straightens back up.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” she replies, stepping a little closer before she looks out at the company spread out across the apartment. Ben notices that Han now has Amy, and Chewie is fully invested in whatever BB’s talking about, leaning down to be more on the boy’s level, his elbows on his knees. Han’s bouncing Amy on his knees, making airplane noises, and giving the baby girl a lopsided grin when she giggles at him. Poe and Finn are still in the kitchen, and Ben watches as they speak to each other in low tones, Finn’s head resting on Poe’s shoulder and Poe’s arm around his boyfriend’s waist. His mother’s speaking with his uncle.
Everything, surprisingly, isn’t as chaotic as he expected.
“How’s your first family holiday party?” Ben questions, feeling as Rey leans into him a little. To his surprise, she leans her head on his shoulder, too, mirroring the actual couple in the kitchen.
“Nice,” Rey says, and he looks down at the quietness of her voice. Her eyes are still open, so she’s not tired, not quite yet. But she looks content, smiling as she looks out across the apartment. “Really, really nice.”
“Well, that’s good,” Ben mutters, watching Han as his father’s eyes dart towards them, and his smirk broadens. “Dad’s very insistent that you become part of the family one way or another.”
Rey snorts. “Really?” she asks. “I’m not that interesting.”
“So you say,” Ben replies as he watches Luke and Leia glance towards them, his mother smiling knowingly. He resists the very real urge to groan and go hide himself in the branches of the fake tree for all eternity.
“Ben, I need your help in the kitchen!” his mother calls, and Rey lifts her head from his shoulder. He misses the warmth immediately, but walks forward anyway, helping his mother pull the turkey from the oven.
The next hour or so is a bit of a blur for him. There’s talk of the university where Luke teaches, his mother’s new novel, and Han’s endeavor to completely repair the Falcon. Chewie doesn’t speak much, his attention captured by BB’s excited rambling of what he asked Santa for for Christmas, and Poe and Finn sit by Rey, interjecting into conversations then they can.
It’s quite possibly the best Christmas he’s had in recent memory, even though he spends less time eating and more time feeding Amy and making sure she doesn’t make her food fly across the table.
He looks across the table, watching Poe listen intently to his mother. He sees Finn and Rey laughing, and BB explaining one of his presents to Chewie with lots of hand gestures and sound effects. He can see Han and Luke speaking lowly, his uncle laughing every few moments, his father smirking back.
These are the people his daughter is going to grow up with. These are the people she is going to have in her life. These are some of the most generous, loving, caring people he’s ever met, and his daughter is going to be raised by them.
It’s probably the best Christmas present he could get, he thinks.
He resists the urge to grin like an idiot as he taps Poe on the shoulder to get him to watch Amy for a second, standing to get another glass of water. “Anyone need anything while I’m up?”
“I’ll get a Coke,” Rey says, already standing up from her seat.
“No, no, I got it,” Ben protests, shaking his head.
“No, it’s fine, I’ve got it,” Rey insists, grinning as she walks towards the kitchen with him, Ben waiting in the archway for her.
“Hold up, you two!”
Ben turns his head, looking towards where his father has the smuggest smirk he’s ever seen. Han points upwards, and Ben tips his head back, glancing up to see the smallest, limpest sprig of mistletoe he’s ever seen. His heart feels like it’s being torn in half, tugged upwards and yanked downwards in one movement.
Rey looks up as well, and he watches as her cheeks flush, the top of her chest turning pink as well as the tips of her ears.
“Dad-“ Ben protests, looking towards Han.
“You know the rules, your mother and I did it earlier,” Han insists.
They damn well didn’t, Ben knows, because he was either in the kitchen or out in the living room, and his mother was talking to either Luke or Poe the whole time. And he knows one of them planted it, because he sure as hell didn’t plant any mistletoe anywhere.
“It’s fine, Ben, really,” Rey replies, and he can hear the laughter in her voice, even as it shakes a bit. “It’s just a bit of fun, let them have it.”
“We got caught under it last year,” Poe explains, his grin absolutely shit-eating as he turns and kisses Finn soundly, the younger man’s eyes widening and making a noise of surprise as his boyfriend plants one on him right at the table.
Ben feels his cheeks flame hot. “I…” he starts, trailing off and looking down at Rey. He doesn’t … think that’s an expectant look? She looks more shy than anything, avoiding his gaze. He inhales quickly before he bends and pecks her brow. It’s a kiss, isn’t it? He bites his lip as he pulls back, glaring at his father. “There, happy?”
“Not at all,” Han protests. “C’mon, Ben, mistletoe is for kissing, that wasn’t a kiss!”
“I kissed her forehead, it counts,” Ben mutters, just loud enough for his father to hear. He can’t believe this, can’t believe that his own father would put him through this.
“Han, lay off,” Leia chides.
“No, I put that damn plant there and nearly pulled my shoulder again, I want-“
Ben’s opening his mouth to interject, to protest that they’re friends, that she’s Amy’s sitter, that there’s absolutely nothing there when he feels a small hand wrap around the back of his neck, and then he’s being pulled down. Soft, full lips press against his, and he distinctly smells vanilla as he stays frozen, unsure of what to do as he feels Rey’s hand slide into his hair and her lips mesh against his.
He can just barely hear the wolf-whistles, the cheering over his heartbeat roaring in his ears. It’s between one beat and the next that he steps a little closer, his hand slipping around her waist, feeling the soft knit of her sweater dress as he pulls her closer and starts to kiss back. Her lipstick tastes like vanilla too, and he has no doubt that he’ll leave this kiss with some of it on his own mouth as he reaches up to cup her cheek with his other hand, her skin warm beneath his touch.
“Now that’s a kiss!”
Ben groans softly against Rey’s mouth, pulling back regretfully to look at his father, who looks even smugger.
“Think he’ll be quiet now?”
Rey’s voice comes from below, and he looks down to see her, cheeks still flushed and lips missing some of their red, but smile absolutely sinful in its mirth.
“Sure as hell hope so,” he breathes, feeling like he still looks like a deer-in-headlights as he stares down at her, watching as she moves into the kitchen to refill her drink and trying desperately to restart his pulse.
He can see Poe grinning out of the corner of his eye, the man giving him a wink when he turns his head. His father’s still smirking, and his mother and Luke offer him soft smiles as he returns to the table, cheeks flushed bright red as he hears Rey get ice. “I hate you,” he mutters under the sound of the ice falling into the glass. “I hate all of you.”
“Nah, you love us,” Han teases as Rey comes back, bringing the water glass he’d forgotten and her own drink.
Despite his blushing cheeks and racing heart, his shy glances to Rey after she sits back down, he can’t help but think yes, yes he does love them.
And he’s pretty damn sure he loves her, too.