Chapter Text
Your name is John Egbert and you can’t believe you finally get to see Dave! In real life! It’s pretty safe to say that you are freaking the fuck out. You’ve got your flight ticket in your hands, holding onto it tightly, as if any second it could just float away without you. Your bags are mostly packed already – they have been for a week now. You were too excited to wait – and you’ve got 12 more hours to go before Dad takes you to the airport. 12 painfully long hours. You’re not even sure if you’ll be able to sleep tonight, you’re so anxious! You just want to play video games with him, and find out what his laugh sounds like, and throw popcorn at him when he inevitably insults your awesome movies… It’ll be nice to have your friend close!
None of your friends in school are really like Dave. They’re nice enough, and you hang out with them sometimes, but you don’t think they understand you like your Internet pal does. You can always look forward to seeing that red text light up your screen when you get home, going off on a tangent with some metaphor that slowly becomes so diluted it barely makes sense… it makes you smile.
You throw a few more items into your suitcase: a bag of gummy worms, your favourite ghostbusters tee, some swim trunks, and a carefully wrapped present. You struggle to get the bag zipped up with everything staying inside, managing to get it about halfway before you let yourself take a break and flop onto your bed in defeat.
Ding.
Someone’s pestering you. It must be Dave! You nearly fall on your face in your mad dash to the computer desk, catching yourself just in time. You really need to calm down. He’s going to think you’re some hyperactive weirdo if you act like this once you get to Texas. Deep breaths, you tell yourself. You open up pesterchum to see a new message.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
TG: sup
EB: hi dave!!!
EB: only a few more hours and we finally get to meet in person!
EB: i can hardly wait!
TG: i dont know man
TG: im not sure youre ready for all the strider swag youre about to be faced with
EB: i think i can manage.
TG: i mean handling one is hard enough
TG: but three
TG: shit you better prepare yourself
TG: i bet youre already wet just thinking about it
TG: you sick little fuck
EB: haha.
EB: yeah, TOTALLY.
EB: i bet you guys are actually really lame.
TG: excuse you
TG: do you know who youve been talking to for the last 4 years
EB: well how would i know!
EB: i’ve only ever heard you talk about what a cool kid you are.
EB: i don’t even really know what you look like, dude.
TG: yeah i guess not
TG: i could send you a pic if you want
TG: just to ease you into it
TG: dont want you creaming yourself in the middle of a crowded airport when you lay your eyes on me
EB: okay!
EB: i guess i should send you one of me too.
TG: why the hell not
TG: brb
Oh, wow, this is really happening. You were finally going to see what he looked like! You guess it’s probably going to make pick up easier tomorrow when he meets you at the airport. You were a bit worried you might end up laying your best bro embrace on some innocent bystander who you’d mistaken for Dave. That’s totally a thing that could happen. You tend to let your excitement get the better of you and often wind up in really embarrassing situations!
> Come on now, we don’t have all day.
Of course! You can’t leave your bro hanging! He’s probably on the edge of his seat, the suspense must be killing him!
Actually, you think he’s probably taking an ungodly amount of time with his camera aimed at the bathroom mirror, making duck faces like a 13-year-old girl. Ironically, of course.
You pull out your own camera and hold it as far from yourself as your arms will let you, grinning your stupid, goofy grin as you take the photo. You don’t really care how it looks. You’re not self-conscious or anything. You are who you are, and surely your best bro won’t really care what you look like, right?
----
You are now Dave Strider and you’re definitely not nervous. Not even a little. Nope. You will admit that you’re pretty excited to be meeting your best friend face to face, though. That’s perfectly reasonable. You two have been saving up money for quite a while now to make the trip happen. You wouldn’t even let your bros help you out. You got a real fucking job and did it yourself. Of course, you only kept the job for a few months. There’s only so long you can work at Taco Bell until it stops being ironic and starts being just plain depressing. But that’s all behind you now, and you are sure as hell never looking back.
You grab your camera and leave your room. You can see Bro sitting on the couch watching My Little Pony. Down the hall you can hear Dirk in his room with the music cranked, probably working on one of his robotics projects. You turn your attention back to the living room for a moment to observe its state of tidiness. You have to admit it’s not too bad, considering what it usually looks like.
You’ve spent the whole week getting this death trap of an apartment ready. You’ve cleared the swords out of the fridge several times now – they keep finding their way back in there – and gotten rid of the fireworks in the sink. Bro doesn’t really give a shit about John coming, so he’s not really putting in much effort to keep the place livable by normal standards. Dirk has at least promised to stay out the way. Not like it’s much of a change for him. He usually holes himself up in his room with some leftover Chinese food to tinker for hours on end. At least he keeps his shit to himself. Bro just leaves his smuppets in piles around the living room. You’ve tried to hide them as best you can, but you swear to god, he’s leaving them out on purpose! John knows about them, but for christ’s sake you don’t want to scar the little bastard.
> Take the goddamn picture already.
Right. The picture. You head straight to the bathroom across the hall. You then proceed to take a series of ironic selfies until you deem one acceptable. You head back to your computer to see John has already sent you a file and is getting impatient waiting for you.
EB: http://tinyurl.com/004543
EB: there you go!
EB: dave.
EB: daaaaaaaave.
EB: are you still there?
EB: don’t tell me you saw my face and fainted like a girl.
EB: i know i’m hot but seriously, man, pull yourself together!
EB: heh heh.
TG: http://tinyurl.com/keepyourpantiesonegbert
You roll your eyes behind your shades before opening the file he sent and – oh. Oh shit. This is not good. He’s… really fucking cute.
He’s got this messy tangle of black hair and an overly wide grin that shows off his oversized front teeth. His skin is pretty pale - especially in contrast to his thick-rimmed black glasses - and he’s built like a beanstalk, like he jumped straight out of the Science Club year book picture from the most cliché high school imaginable. But all this is pushed to the back of your mind because those eyes are staring straight into your soul. Holy shit. They are the bluest things you’ve ever seen. You’re pretty sure it’s not even possible to have eyes like that. But there they are. Huge and impossibly blue. Wow.
You come back to real life when you realize John’s been messaging you again.
EB: woah!
EB: i can’t believe i ever doubted you, cool kid.
EB: i’m blinded by the irony!
EB: haha.
TG: yeah its a curse
TG: i literally cant stop being cool
TG: its hard egbert you wouldnt understand
EB: also are those the shades i got you?
TG: yeah
TG: theyre basically an extension of my person now
TG: i dont think i can physically take them off anymore
TG: theyre about as attached to my face as you are to your terrible fucking movies
TG: which you better not be bringing
EB: too late!
EB: they’re already piled underneath all my other stuff in my suitcase.
EB: there’s no sense in taking them out now!
TG: goddamnit egbert
TG: this is why we can’t have nice things
EB: oh!
EB: my dad’s calling me for dinner.
EB: i’ll talk to you later!
TG: sure whatever
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
> Become a nervous wreck.
Yeah, that’s not something you’re going to be doing. Besides, you’ve already established that you’re not even nervous to begin with. So what if your best friend is sort of attractive? And also staying at your place for the next two weeks. And sleeping in your room. Okay, shut up, you’re starting to sound like a creep. He’s your bro and you’re not going to mess this up just because he’s got really nice eyes or a ridiculously charming smile…
You think you might have a crush on your best friend.