Work Text:
He watched her dance along with the steady rhythm of his piano, her laughter echoing off the green and white floral patterned wallpaper which hugged each wall of the living room. Sunlight cascaded through the semi stained glass windows, bright colours shimmered and reflected off her jewelry, filling the room like waves at a beach on a hot day. Encapsulated by her movement and the quiet drum of her feet on the soft polished wooden floors, he couldn’t help but sit there and radiate in the warmth that emitted from her.
He wished to stop playing and reach out to her, to be able to hold her and feel the soft yellow fabric of her dress under his fingers as they swayed. Playfully spinning her around for the chance of hearing her giggle that beautifully infectious laugh again. He would pull her close, cradling her curls as her perfume filled his senses, gently placing a kiss to her hair as he told her how much he loved her. She would pretend to reel her head back in disgust, but continue to cling on him further like a baby koala.
He admired the way her presence filled the room, life shining out from her, which in turn made everything around her bright and alive. The unlit candles on the mantelpiece stared back with envy, but why need them? He already had the only thing needed to bring light into his life, his North Star, his sun, his Claudia.
How was he meant to know it wouldn’t last forever, that his light would fade out and the music would be the only thing from his past that didn’t hurt? Now he was alone in the living room, an empty void of something once there staring back at him.
Delicate marble hands, now aged and stiff, staggered to play the stained white ivory keys with precision. Claudia was gone and he could do nothing to bring her back. A discordant melody pierced his senses as his finger slipped on the wrong note. He squeezed his eyes shut to drown out the failure, images flashed before him. Experiences turned into faded photographs framed on the wall, all which captured her beauty, but never her light. A haunting reminder of what was once his sanctuary.
He wondered when this torment would end, when would he be able to live in peace without being consumed by her memory, her ghost? Without hearing her laughter when he struggled to play, without seeing glimpses of her reflection in every glass, mirror, and window. Expecting to see her when he turned around, only to be left with hot wet tears.
Taking a breath of almost suffocating air, he slowly felt his way through the dimly lit room. Stumbling like a fawn on the cold hard wood, tripping over miscellaneous piles of paper and books. The scuttles and squeaks of rats could be heard from every corner. Soft heavy curtains draped unopened windows, shielding him from the world. He walked over to grab a dying candle from the mantelpiece, then set the idle wood in the delicately carved fireplace alight. The fireplace cracked and burnt as the hot hands of flames were brought to life. Embers and sparks spread, while dark charcoal rose and muffled screams grew.
Gazing into the warmth of the fire, which never quite reached his cold skin, he could see her in the flames that jumped and danced. Memories embedded with easy comfort and soft yellows, overtaken by murky fog and nauseous nights. Shadows loomed over him like a tidal wave as he stared into the all encompassing flame. Thick darkness surrounded him, sucking him down and swallowing him whole. His body shook and shuttered as the smell of salt flooded his nose, tears began to spill, the dam had broken. Had he drowned? Was he drowning? He tried to reach out for something, anything; a lifeline, a light. The room shook as the walls pounded against his skull. A chilled breeze from a long forgotten door struck his spine suddenly, smothering the fire out in its ambush.
Any sense of warmth ever felt had been stolen from him, leaving him hollow, a shell of sadness. This room was his coffin.
But what was the point of escape? His sun had burnt out and died.