Chapter Text
What is your designation . . .
The screen showed only one question. It was a simple question that every well-born newspark and bitlit knew the answer to the moment they emerged.
He hated that question.
Everyone that asked got the same answer, an answer they didn't like, to a question they didn't think much of until they were surprised by it.
It was always the same reaction.
"He must have made a mistake with the first one"
"Don't worry, we can fix that if you'd just listen"
"I shouldn't have expected anything else"
"You don't need one anyway"
"You must be joking"
"Oh you poor thing"
"Are you serious?"
"What a mistake"
"I'm so sorry"
"Broken"
"Glitch"
.
.
.
It was always the same thing; Disgust, Pity, Anger, Disappointment . . . False Hope.
He knew he wasn't the first one, and wouldn't be the last either. And it wasn't like it was a strange thing, there were plenty of forged newsparks and bitlits that had the same problem he did.
But why were they treated so much better than he was?
There wasn't any difference between them, of anything he was easier. He didn't have those bitlits issues, or problems, or spark scars, and he didn't need special treatment or extra help.
He knew that was cruel to think, he knew he wasn't any better than them. He knew why they needed more attention. He would do anything to help them if he could, if he was old enough. They needed it more than him.
That didn't mean he didn't still want it.
His caretaker always tried to give him as much attention as possible, she even tried to find families for him.
He was the one that insisted another bitlit go with them instead.
He was the one who pushed families away because he wasn't the one that needed them the most.
He had his caretakers and that's all he needed.
He only needed Cloudjumper, and D, and Whistle. They were the closest thing he had to family, and that was good enough.
The other bitlits, the younger ones, the forged ones, the ones that truly needed a family. They deserved it more.
And he was willing to give it to them, even if it meant he didn't get one.
D always asked if it made him sad. Cloudjumper would get mad when he missed meetings and sent a different Bitlit instead of going himself. Whistle worried about him, always saying he should try.
He didn't care, he had the same answer for them every time.
"They needed it more"
He felt D's EM field brush against his.
D didn't have one either, he never got one and always said he would create his own when he found it.
D wasn't there all the time, he was nearing his third upgrade, and only dropped by every few solar cycles. He didn't know what he did the rest of the time, but D was great.
He helped the caretakers with the bitlits, he told great stories about the Primes, and he even was fun to play with.
He knew D spent more time with him then the others, he didn't know why. He wasn't upset about it. He asked once if D could take him in once he passed his third upgrade, so that they could be family.
He knew why D refused. Not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't.
He found out about the caste system early, overheard Cloudjumper arguing with a potential family, because they had insulted a bitlit's frame for being, as they said, useless.
D had stood up to them, and tried to protect Cloudjumper from the angry pair.
They had called him lowly, useless, a waste of energon, a minor.
He remembered seeing the fight, Cloudjumper had ushered everyone away, but he had stayed. He saw them hurt D in the back ally they had corned Cloudjumper in.
He had learned about the caste system from D right after.
He refused to let D hide it from him. He made D tell him exactly why it happened.
He told him everything, he even said that because of his status in the system, he wasn't liked.
He had asked the question then, saying how they could both be disliked together.
D refused, said he wanted him to become something better, that he had the chance to have a better life then he did. And if he took him in, he would never get that chance.
He never asked again, he knew why, and he couldn't be upset about it.
.
.
.
What is your designation . . .
D put his servos on his shoulder, and squeezed gently.
D was with him, and it was only a simple question. Something this family wanted to know.
Cloudjumper said this family was kind, that they would be perfect for him.
He had tried to refuse, but she forced him in the room with the computer, she had even let D in with him.
All he had to do was type in his designation, and he would join a call with a potential family.
What is your designation . . .
"You can skip the question if you really want"
D spoke above him, and he could see Cloudjumper nodding her head in agreement.
He let out a Chuff, acknowledging what he said.
He looked up at D, but he wasn't looking at him. His focus was on the computer, and he seemed nervous.
He turned back to the computer himself.
What is your designation . . .
He wasn't going to hide it, if this family was as great as Cloudjumper said they were, they wouldn't be upset seeing the answer he put.
What is your Designation: H-4826