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Grace knew he was being a lazy bum.
For days his Taumoeba farms laid unattended to and his and Rocky's things were strung about the ship haphazardly. He was stinky. The ship was stinky. He felt gross and the guilt of existing in such a messy state pooled in his stomach. But he just…couldn't get up.
The warmth of the xenonite wall in the dormitory never ceased to clash perfectly with the rest of the ship's temperature. Rocky laid right on the other side. They were both pressed against their barrier, Rocky's ventilations murmuring along the wall and tickling Grace's side. Every once in a while Grace would gently tap against the wall and Rocky would trill out his version of a purr and tap back. Tapping was like hugging for Eridians, their way of showing affection. At this point they've been doing it for so long it didn't feel out of the ordinary anymore. Grace quite enjoyed it, actually.
They've been like this for days. It had been approximately 135 hours since he saved Rocky from his ship. Their first order of business was to obviously get all of Rocky's belongings and store all of the Taumoeba into safer containers (at least until they could breed it to where it won't pass through the xenonite again). But after setting the course for Erid and celebrating with a few movies, this is where they've been. Grace doesn't think he's taken his touch off the xenonite since then. Whether Rocky was in his ball or in his boundary, he was always pressed against it. Even when Rocky went over yonder to eat, Grace stayed and awaited his return. Okay that was maybe a little bit of stretch. He did have to get up and use the bathroom every once in a while. However every time he did, he felt an overwhelming sense of dread. Separation anxiety, it must be. It was absolutely insane to think that less than a week ago he was one hundred percent ready to leave Rocky forever. And now he couldn't even leave to piss for two minutes without shaking like a codependent puppy.
Yeah, this attachment probably wasn't healthy. He still couldn't get himself to get up though. He opened his eyes, not even realizing they were closed and looked at Rocky.
“Is Grace tired, question? I watch you sleep.” Rocky chittered gently.
“No, no I'm just…kinda groggy. I need a shower.” He confessed.
“Yes, Grace been wearing same clothes since I came back.” Rocky nodded. “Stinky Grace.”
Grace laughed out a “heh” but his body didn't move. He kept staring at Rocky.
Rocky tilted his carapace and stamped one of legs expectantly. “Grace go clean.” He encouraged pretty assertively.
“I um,” Grace shifted to sit up but his body refused. He was now in an awkward half sitting position, still leaning against the xenonite. “I just, I'm um…scared?” He tried saying. Ugh, how was he going to explain this to Rocky? Surely Eridians experience something like separation anxiety, right?
“There is nothing in ship that will hurt Grace, no understand.”
“It's not that, Rock.” Grace shook his head. He should just explain it the worst Rocky will do is call him or humans stupid. “I just get really nervous when you're not next to me. When people get a strong bond with someone or something it causes anxiety when that thing gets taken away, even if it's just for a short time. It's an irrational thing.”
“Oh.” said Rocky. “Oh Rocky understand, yes. Rocky feel same way when go eat. Miss Grace much much much even though ship not even big and can still hear Grace.”
Thank god he feels the same way! That made Grace sigh in relief. “I'm glad you understand.”
“But is okay. Rocky be right here when Grace get back from cleaning. Promise.” Rocky put his hand to where Grace's head was pressed against the xenonite and patted it.
He took a deep breath and sat up all the way despite the restriction his brain was putting on his bones. “Okay,” he breathed with determination. “I'll be right back.”
***
This is…something Grace didn't think he'd ever witness again.
Rocky was laid up on his backside, dropping his freshly shredded food into his abdominal hole. Wordlessly. As if it's just. Normal. Okay.
They had spent that morning talking about Erid. Rocky shared his expectations for what their arrival will be like. They were…well more than positive.
“Will be big celebration! Many many elders will wish to see Grace. I make extra balls so Grace can meet. We will be famous.”
“You think Adrian will like me?” Grace asked. He really didn't think Rocky's tales of greatness were, well, realistic but what did he know about Eridian society besides what Rocky told him? There was no harm in placating ideas of grandeur for now.
“Adrian will love. Grace love science and Adrian love science. Will love each other.”
Grace's chest warmed. Rocky didn't use the word “love” all that often. It was already kind of a hard word to even define. He still wasn't sure what exactly Rocky meant by it so he tried not to think about it too hard.
They left the conversation off there and laid in the quiet. Rocky then eventually got up and muttered something about eating before wandering off. Grace didn't expect to see him for the next half hour or so. Surprisingly though, Rocky scurried back no more than five minutes later, one of his soft-covered bags in hand. Grace watched curiously as Rocky began taking out his food as he'd seen once before. What are you doing? He wanted to ask, but the words clung to his tongue. He recalled Rocky talking about how leaving to eat made him anxious when they had their conversation about separation anxiety. Maybe he was just too scared this time. Grace wanted to ask but thought better of it. Rocky didn't ask or offer to let him watch, there was never any mention of eating together after that one awkward time. So maybe Rocky just wanted Grace to be quiet and just…accept this. Grace was fine with that.
Anything Rocky wanted was fine with him.
***
It became an unspoken routine. It was less gross after a while. Even the dispensing waste part. It wasn't exactly like how humans did it anyway. It didn't stink or leave any residue and Rocky disposed of it rather cleanly. It was easy to dismiss is all. The actual eating was barely gut reaching anymore. From the angle he was at, a very close angle still pressed against the xenonite, he had a better view of what was happening inside the hole. There was one passage where the food went in and waste came out. Simple enough. North of that passage was a curled up bump of muscle. Most of the time it was excrementing liquid mercury, Grace assumed its purpose was to clean out any harmful bacteria that entered the hole during eating.
After a few sessions of watching though, Grace came to another conclusion about the muscle. Rocky's digestion passage leads directly to his stomach, nowhere else. So where did his…eggs come from? The muscle. It was his ovipositor.
Grace's face went red at the realization but he shook the thought away. What thought? There wasn't a thought. He had zero thoughts about this.
***
Okay, no. This is different.
It had been almost a month since Rocky's return. Grace and him had gotten better about not laying around all day, but their individual personal space was still null and void. Rocky was either tumbling behind him at his heels or they were laid down pressed against their barrier. Honestly that really wasn't much of a change.
Rocky continued to eat in front of him to the point where it was becoming normal. Grace even started eating with him sometimes. Perhaps Rocky was just adapting to the human habit of eating together. Human and Eridian mukbang. Splendid.
That day was different, however. Grace could taste it in the air. Rocky was unpacking his food rather gingerly. Grace watched him (no mukbang today, he'd eaten earlier). And he could just feel Rocky's sonar perceiving him back. Usually Rocky almost avoided Grace during his whole eating process but not today. They were doing their version of eye contact.
Rocky was also closer to the wall this time. When eating, he usually takes a step back but now he's as close as he normally is when they lay together.
He finished unpacking and shredding his food, however as his ventral seam parted he didn't flip onto his back. He just kind of…stood there. Poking at his food like he was scared to eat it.
What the heck is he doing? Grace had to ask but he never talked to Rocky while eating. He knew Rocky just didn't want him to, but, gosh this behavior is new and worrying him a little…!
“Aren't you…gonna lay down?” He asked, nearly whispering.
“No want to today.” Said Rocky. “Eridian eat like this too sometimes. Is normal.”
There was a small quiver in his voice. Darn it I probably just made him nervous.
Rocky finally picked his food up and put it in his hole. It was…weird. Rocky's fingers kept lingering inside of him even after ingesting the morsel. Maybe that's just something Eridians had to do when they ate upright. But something about it still felt…off. Rocky's carapace teetered over his fingers as he took his next bite, then on the next one he let out a trill.
Is he sick? Some kind of Eridian stomachache? Then why's he still eating? Grace had too many questions, too many concerns.
When Rocky took his last bite his fingers didn't come out. In fact they seemed to be shifting inside of him. It was almost like he was…
Grace mentally slapped himself. No NO Ryland you freaking pervert. He is not rubbing one out right in front of you. No way.
Rocky's carapace suddenly pressed against the xenonite, one of his free hands reaching towards Grace. “G…grace? I'm…” Rocky let out a few inaudible chitters.
Okay no he was most definitely rubbing one out. Grace's eyes were probably wider than they've ever been, not to mention how red his face must be. “Rocky? Are you okay? Why…” he trailed off. What could he say? Why what?
“Can't e-explain. I need…I just need.”
“What do you need, buddy? I'll help you. Tell me what you need.” Grace said calmly.
He's sure he knows what's happening. Eridians do have an egg cycle, Rocky's told him about it before. It is usually activated whenever a mate is present but since Rocky's been alone for so long, his was probably abnormal due to a hormone imbalance of some kind. He was probably eating upright in order to avoid this kind of situation but that ended up failing on him.
“Just talk.” Rocky said, almost demandingly. “Hear voice h-help w-” he cut himself off in an honest-to-god whimper.
Grace tried to ignore what was happening in his pants and focus on the task at hand even though the task at hand was the literal cause of- you know what he just needs to help Rocky. And maybe jack off later, but help Rocky now! Grace pressed his forehead against where Rocky rested his carapace.
God he was so beautiful like this. Grace needed to admit that to himself out right. Rocky was beautiful in general but something about his shaky legs and desperate trills were doing something to him. Poor Rocky. All pent up. He caressed the xenonite and squinted to get a better look at how Rocky was touching himself. His ovipositor was unfurled and dangling out between his fingers, dripping copious amounts of mercury. It was almost like he was trying to hold it in. Well that's no way to fix this problem.
“You can let it out, Rock.” Grace whispered tenderly.
Rocky stumbled over himself. “Is foreign anatomy to Grace. I don't want to scare you.” He managed.
“It's not scary, Buddy. It's a part of you. It's okay.”
“Is gross. Is intimate. I'm sorry…” Rocky's broke out into a small deflated chitter.
Damn, tears were threatening to well up in Grace's eyes. “You poor thing.” He muttered under his breath but he knew Rocky heard him just fine. “I want to help. If you want me too. Please? I…I wanna help you feel good.”
Rocky allowed himself to slump a little. He shifted his occupied hand to the side of his opening, his ovipositor falling loose. Grace's heart stuttered as he watched the muscle unfurl. It was about two feet long and no more than seven inches in diameter. It was slippery with his bodily mercury and flesh colored underneath the metallic glaze. The shape was like a bumpy tentacle. Dear gosh, it was full of eggs. All Rocky had to do was push them out right? Would that be like his orgasm?
“U-usually mate helps push eggs out.” Rocky stammered. “But no mate here. Rocky do not have practice doing this by self.”
“I wish I could help.” Said Grace without thinking. It was true, but holy heck he just admitted that he'd like to jerk his best friend's alien dick.
“I wish you could t-too…”
Grace shifted. Sweet mother of God that went straight to his penis.
Rocky moved his hand back to his ovipositor and began stroking it slowly. It did look like an awkward thing to do by oneself but probably not more awkward than jerking off was. Rocky dragged his grip along one of the bumps, letting out another whimpering trill as it shifted along. There was a small hole at the end of the ovipositor for depositing the eggs that seemed to dilate when stimulated. Grace held his breath as the first egg was squeezed out through the opening, about the size of a quail egg, and plopped on the floor with a splat. It looked like a piece of gravel, speckled and spotted with Rocky-like colors but the material was soft like a fish egg. Grace wondered if they looked different when they were fertilized.
Grace kept his hands up against the xenonite wall, one of Rocky's free hands bracing against them. Grace's dick was screaming in his pants and he knew that if he moved his hands off the wall they'd go straight there. This wasn't about getting off, dammit, this was about helping Rocky. Even though this was so, so hot. Oh my gosh it was so hot.
“Just a few more right? You okay?” Grace asked.
“Yes.” Breathed Rocky. “Please keep talking.” He begged.
“What do you want me to say?”
“Anything.” Said Rocky. “Grace voice is beautiful song. Say anything make me feel good good good.”
Grace gulped. “You're really pretty, you know that?”
“Yeah, question? Grace think so, question?”
Grace nodded. “I've always liked your colors.”
Rocky chittered, another egg plopping out. “I'm g-glad. Rocky appeal to Grace's special sense. Rocky like being pretty for Grace.”
“You're good at it. So good.”
“Grace is pretty too. So pretty, beautiful.” Rocky groaned, pushing out another egg. “Need help with mating organ too, question?”
Grace glanced bashfully down at the tent in his pants and shook his head quickly. “No! No, bud I'm okay. I'll be okay. Let's focus on you, okay?”
“Only t-two more.” Rocky murmured. “So…close…”
“You're doing such a great job, buddy. Let it all out.” Grace soothed, pressing his lips to the wall in a kiss. He didn't know what he was doing anymore. All the blood usually in his brain was in his dick right now.
“Is kiss, question?”
“Yeah is…that okay?”
“Yes, more.”
Grace kissed the xenonite again and Rocky pleaded for more so he continued until he was basically making out with the wall. He wished it was Rocky's carapace instead. God he didn't even care if his face burned off. He wanted to feel Rocky against his lips. Against his skin. Against everything.
He pulled away slightly as he heard two loud splats, one after the other. Rocky had finished, his unfertilized eggs laying in a slurry of mercury on the floor, his ovipositor now limp. He fell into a lazy squat, his vents pushing a load of extra hot air.
“Feel better?” Grace dared to ask, a smirk tugging on his lips.
“Yes. Thank you. I…I'm so sorry.” Rocky wilted.
Grace's smirk immediately fell. “Why are you sorry?”
“Did such intimate thing. Grace didn't have to help but did. I not even ask Grace for consent before action. I'm so sorry.”
“Oh, Rock…” Grace sighed. “You don't have to apologize. I liked it, I wanted to help you. You didn't have to ask. If I didn't want to help I would've told you to stop.”
“Promise, question?”
“Promise. Is it sleep time?”
“Grace still need help with mating organ-”
“I told you not to worry about that. It'll calm down on its own. You sleep.”
Rocky fell quiet, Grace hoped it was in understanding. He didn't need Rocky to worry about him, even if his dick wanted otherwise.
***
And oh god did it want otherwise. Even after Rocky cleaned up his mess and went to sleep, Grace was still hard somehow. He wanted to cry. He tried thinking of things that would turn him off. Things like his ever impending doom. He was on the way to a planet designed to kill him with nothing but Taumoeba slurry to eat for the rest of his life. He could already taste the bitter stings of malnutrition.
It was all worth it for Rocky though. Goddammit everything he thought of came back to Rocky. Rocky and his big dumb carapace that he was so utterly in love with. The thoughts of what they just did played in his mind. Rocky's deep moans and stuttering chitters and trills. He barely ever saw him so embarrassed. It was so cute.
Grace pawed at his dick through his pants. He barely had a libido for his entire time in the Hail Mary. Or ever. He wasn't a horny guy. Having loads of sex was never in the cards for him. He tried it a few times and deemed it overrated. He had more important things to focus on. But now…Rocky was the most important thing. His best friend that he was in love with. That trusted him to talk him through jerking off. He couldn't get over that. Rocky literally told him that it was something mates helped with. Laying eggs together was the Eridian equivalent of sex.
Then was Rocky cheating? Grace supposed once they got to Erid it's not like Adrian would have any idea that their mate masturbated in front of an alien but…what if they did find out? Would they hate Grace? Are Eridian cheating scandals akin to humans? Or were Eridians more loose on the subject?
Grace gulped. Partially from his trepidation and partially from the uncomfortable prison his pants were serving as. He didn't want Adrian to hate him. He hoped Rocky was right and Adrian would like him. Well, Rocky said “love” but Grace needed to at least shoot for like.
He grinded into his hand. He needed to get rid of this problem. He glanced over his shoulder to see Rocky still sound asleep on the other side of the xenonite. Gingerly he scooted until his back pressed against the wall. He could feel Rocky's warmth radiating from the other side.
Taking a deep breath, he hooked his fingers on the waistband of his pants and pulled down. He cringed as he saw his tenting penis through his boxers, precum leaking through the fabric. He pulled his boxers down and instantly gasped as the cold air hit his bare skin. He bit his lip. Not that Rocky would even hear him while asleep but it still felt rude to be so loud.
He went right in for the kill. Using both hands he grasped his dick, holding his shaft with his left hand and stroking with his right. It felt so good he almost forgot to pace himself until he felt heat quickly pull in his stomach. He slowed down a bit.
His mind traveled to Rocky. How his carapace caught light and reflected it. The way his hands were always meticulously fidgeting or working on something. He was so intentional. He made every movement with purpose. He wondered how it would feel if those hands were touching him.
His mind flashed to earlier that day when Rocky revealed he was working on a form-fitting xenonite suit. Less clunky than the ball, and would allow him to interact with Grace's environment. It would make things practical when moving around the ship and completing tasks. They could hug. He would be able to feel Rocky's arms around him. His warmth all around him. He could feel his fingers. Maybe Rocky would like to run them through his hair.
Grace whimpered. “Oh, Rocky…” he said under his breath, slouching further into the wall
He thought about Rocky's hole. What would it feel like inside? The slippery, fleshy hole. It would vaporize him is what it would do. Either that or break down all the components of his skin and digest it. A thought flashed through his head. If Rocky could make xenonite flexible enough for a form-fitting suit, could he craft some sort of xenonite condom? An extra flexible panel of the suit near his hole that Grace could just slip into. Rocky could use the panel as well for his ovipositor. Grace thought about being able to help Rocky squeeze out his eggs. Moving the bumps along the large, slippery organ until it reached the dilated tip and fell out. Rocky would let out relieved vents and collapse into Grace. He'd be able to feel all five of Rocky's hearts beating against him.
“Shit, shit, shit!” Grace hissed, writhing onto his side. His left shoulder and cheek were now pressed against the wall. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Rocky. He was stroking faster, he couldn't help it.
“Oh, Rock- oh Rocky!” He whined, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I need you, I need you so bad. You're so b…beautiful- fuck, you're so h-hot. I need you so fucking bad. I lo-ov-”
Grace heaved a moan with each shot of cum he squirted. He'd never seen himself produce such an amount. It was all over his hands and splattered at the crease where the xenonite barrier sat. He gasped for multiple breaths before closing his eyes and slumping his shoulders. It was quiet for several moments, not even Grace's fucked-out brain could form a single thought.
“Grace done, question?”
Grace immediately whipped his head around to look at Rocky, who was just now getting up from his sleeping position.
“WHAT? You were- huh?! How long have you been awake?!” Grace managed to ask through his utter embarrassment. His limp dick was out and his hands were covered in semen. There was no playing this off.
“I wake up when you said my name.”
“You're kidding.” Grace was dumbstruck.
“Why not let me help, question?”
“Look, Rock it's not I…well um-”
“Would I have not done good job, question?” Rocky asked genuinely, his carapace sinking a bit.
“No! No, no Rocky you would have done amazing. Like actually you have no idea-”
“Then why do by yourself?”
Grace sighed. “Well why did you stay quiet when you woke up?”
“Was afraid it would make you stop.”
“Oh God.” Grace almost facepalmed and then remembered his palms were covered in cum so he opted for the back of his hand instead. He thought for a brief moment. “I don't think I would have stopped.” He said aloud.
Rocky teetered his torso, processing that information. “Grace beautiful when…what human word?
“Human word for what?”
“When pleasure self sexually.”
“Masturbation.”
Rocky sang the Eridian word to him and Grace quickly put it to memory.
“You dirty. Grace clean then sleep. I watch.”
Grace obeyed without much feedback, his post-nut brain still lagging. Rocky could probably tell him to do anything right now and he'd do it.
After going to sponge himself off and wipe away the stray strings of cum off the floor, he curled up on his bed, which was of course placed against the wall. Rocky pressed up next to him.
“I wish I could hug you.” Said Grace.
“Should I get in ball?”
“No, no like, I wish I could hug you and you could hug me back.”
“Hmm…one day.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”