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“Hey, Kris. You seen Noelle?” Susie asks, leaning back in her seat. She readily ignores everything Alphys is saying in her current lecture.
“Mmmgh...” Kris mumbles, face buried in their arms and trying to sleep through class again.
“Dude, seriously. Not like her to be absent. Or even late. Been actin’ kinda weird lately, too.”
Kris lifts their head up, “Don’t know.” they mumble again, then put their head back down.
Susie rolls her eyes, “Some help you are. Come on, she never does this, aren’t you worried? What if she got like, hit by a truck or something? Or what if she’s sick and nobody’s taking care of her?”
“Probably slept in...” Kris guesses.
Susie sighs, “I sure hope so.”
Kris pokes her in the back, “You worry too much.”
Susie retorts, “I love her, Kris, it’s my job to worry about her. Where the hell...”
Just then, the door to the classroom creaks open. Slowly but deliberately, Noelle comes through it, not even bothering to open the door all the way as she enters. She’s not wearing her vest. Only half of her shirt is tucked in. Her hair is unkempt. There are bags under her unusually vacant eyes. Her movements are slow and sloppy as she starts to walk across the room to her desk.
“Oh, Noelle!” Alphys says “You’re... late. Huh. But, it’s okay, just take a seat and turn to page, um...”
Noelle sits down. She reaches inside her desk, hitting her hand on the side a few times in the process. She feels around, eyes stuck on the ceiling, but doesn’t pull anything out. She just...sits there. Silently. Unmoving.
Alphys goes quiet for a moment, having trailed off. She looks around nervously, waiting for Noelle to say literally anything, or to even notice she hasn’t brought any of her supplies. But she doesn’t. “Noelle?” Alphys asks, to no reply. “Did you... not sleep well last night?” Again, no response. By now, everyone has their eyes on her, and even Berdly hasn’t decided to speak up. He has an uncharacteristic frown, staring at her. Alphys ends up nervously surrendering, “W-Well, if you aren’t feeling well, you can lay your head down. Now, where was I?”
Noelle doesn’t even seem to register that Alphys was talking to her, only continually staring ahead and vaguely towards the ground. After watching this, Susie leans back again, “Uhhh, you were saying?”
But Kris deliberately looks away, burying their face away and not saying a word.
Susie grumbles at them, “C’mon. Hey. You two are childhood friends, you really gonna sit there and not care about this?”
They lift their arm up, still hiding their face in a gesture that tells of shame, “She’s just... like this. Sometimes.”
“Just... Like this?”
Kris nods.
Susie looks back at Noelle, who’s rubbing her arm up and down slowly, occasionally poking it. Her gaze is unfocused, shifting around a lot. Susie looks back at Kris, “What’s... wrong with her?”
Kris shrugs, “Don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Susie almost sounds offended, as if Kris should know everything about Noelle.
They grasp their hair with the hand they use to hide their face, directing their gaze to the ground. They stiffen up and go quiet, almost as much as Noelle.
Susie sighs, “Kris... Please. You gotta know something.”
It takes a bit for Kris to respond. “She won’t... talk. Or pay attention.”
“Is it...” Susie ponders “Does she do it a lot?”
Kris shakes their head, “Just, sometimes.”
Susie looks back around, staring at the back of Noelle’s head. Noelle lays hers down on the desk, forehead firmly planted on its surface. Her arms dangle by the side, unmoving. Not knowing what to do, Susie just...waits. A few minutes pass. A few more. Ten. Fifteen, and Noelle’s mannerisms still don’t change at all. She spends the whole time doing strange, unpracticed, small movements. Several times, she tries to sit up and mess with her hair, but very quickly zones back out. Sometimes she makes a tiny sound. Sometimes she just violently shakes her head a few times and goes right back to motionless. And every time she does, she pinches the temples before eventually planting her head back on the desk and looking about as much like a corpse as Kris usually does.
Susie can’t help but stare and worry the entire time. She looks back at Kris, displaying a similar silence and apathy, yet their expression just barely hidden behind their arms reeks of some kind of dread. It makes Susie’s heart ache and sink, seeing both of them like this. But she knows deep down that Kris isn’t going to do anything, content to just sit there and hope she goes back to normal eventually. The rest of the class, though clearly distraught by her behavior, just averts their gaze with the same look of discomfort that Kris has. It’s clear that they all know something, an open secret that they agree not to talk about. The deer-shaped elephant in the room. Even Alphys has to constantly steal looks at her.
But one tiny noise, a whimper, is all it takes to finally break Susie’s restraints. As soon as she hears it come out, she stands up and walks down the room to the side of Noelle’s desk. It startles Kris and a few others, including Alphys, who tells her, “S-Susie, is something wrong? You can’t just—”
Susie scowls at her, “You’re damn right something is wrong.” She proceeds to ignore Alphys and crouches beside Noelle, placing a hand on her shoulder that she doesn’t react to, “Hey. Noelle. You okay?”
Noelle doesn’t even look at her directly, eyes shifting around all over the place. She lets out a tiny, unintelligible murmur.
“Hey!” Susie shakes her, but still no response. “Noelle! Are you in there? Look at me.” Susie waves her hand in front of Noelle’s face. No reaction again. Just a long blink and a look away to a corner of the room. Her arms seem to raise up just a little, only to fall back down.
Alphys tries to talk to Susie, “Susie, I-I don’t think—”
“Didn’t ask you nothin’.” Susie stops her, then goes back to Noelle. She tries to stand in front of her, “Noelle. Come on, say something...” She raises her hand up to stroke Noelle’s messy hair.
And Noelle actually seems to do something. She makes a fist with one hand, and lifts it up with the other, still looking down at the corner, then to her desk, and she mouths something.
Susie can’t tell what, or what that gesture meant if anything at all. “Can you talk? Noelle?” she asks, softer this time.
Noelle’s eyes dart around, avoiding eye contact. She then violently shakes her head again like she’s been doing. Hugs herself. Doesn’t speak.
Susie cups her cheek and caresses it, which seems to elicit some kind of reaction. Noelle’s head leans into it. Susie brings her other hand up in the same way, this time brushing up lightly against her nose. “Wet...” Susie comments. She brushes it against her lips, “Dry...” She moves that hand to her shoulder, trying to rub it to make her feel at least a little better.
Susie comes to a conclusion, “Not sick... But she’s totally out of it... Noelle, did you sleep at all last night?”
There’s what looks like a nod at first, but she doesn’t finish it necessarily. It’s more like her head dips down as if she’s about to fall, but corrects itself. Her hands start moving around, trying to touch Susie’s arms, but they miss each time. Still trying to mouth something inaudible.
At a bit of a loss, Susie stands up and asks the entire class, “Okay, what the hell is wrong with you people!? She’s clearly been fucked up since she got here and none of you are doing a DAMN thing to help! Do any of you even care!?” She turns to Alphys with an accusatory point, “And YOU should be the one worrying the most! You’re the damn adult!”
Alphys holds her hands up defensively, “I-I’ve tried! I... We were never able to figure out... how. She’s just... like this.”
Berdly chimes in too, a melancholic look on his face unbecoming of the bluebird’s usual ego, “She is... right, Susan. She has done this a lot, before you came here. Nothing we do ever snaps her out of it. But! She usually goes back to normal after a day or so.”
“Back to normal...!?” Susie looks almost offended, scowling at him, “Fuck you mean back to normal!? If she keeps doing it, it’s a fucking problem!”
The classroom falls silent, everyone looking away from her. Noelle has started prodding herself again. Susie growls, fists clenched, “Alright, fine! Alphys, I don’t give a damn if you expel me for skipping, I’m taking Noelle somewhere she can get better and I’m fixing this.”
“Um—” Alphys tries to speak, but Susie isn’t done.
She points at Kris in the back, “Kris! She’s your oldest friend, help me out here!”
Just the idea of Susie being mad at them springs Kris into action, regardless of any lack of hope they have for Noelle. They lurch out of their seat and walk over to her, for Susie to give the instructions: “Arright, I’m gonna carry her. You just need to watch her when I can’t, make sure she doesn’t do anything dangerous. Try to keep her company. I dunno, just do whatever feels natural.”
They nod and prepare to follow. Susie picks Noelle up out of her seat and hoists her into a bridal carry as she walks out the door. When it slams shut from her lack of ability to do anything but kick it (and her unrelenting outrage), the entire class flinches on reflex.
“Arright, where the hell do we go? Can’t take her to the closet, unused classroom isn’t very comfortable, we can’t really get into her house, yours is locked, and mine is... Kris, you got any ideas? Maybe take her to the hospital?“
Kris shakes their head, “Tried that. Long time ago. Couldn’t help.”
“Then what?”
“...QC’s?” Kris guesses out of the blue, one of the few third spaces they have.
“Kris, I’m broke. You know that. And I’m NOT taking advantage of Noelle.”
Kris shrugs, “Just ask.”
“Kris, she’s passed out.”
Kris corrects her, “Ask QC.”
“What, for free food? If the diner’s packed it’s just gonna make things worse.”
Kris shakes their head, “Ask to stay anyway.”
Susie ponders the idea, “...Like, just sit in a booth and not eat anything? You think she’ll let us do that?”
Kris shrugs again and starts walking ahead, “Mayor’s daughter.”
Susie follows with a groan, but a small smile, “Yeah, good point. Guess it has its perks, huh?”
No answer or acknowledgement from Kris.
Susie’s smile fades, “Right. Let’s go.” She carries Noelle all the way to the diner while Kris follows, and as they ring the bell of their entry, she looks around to see that the place is barely occupied. Maybe a few people lingering around in their off time, one or two on laptops with their headphones on doing whatever, as if this is some kind of coffee shop. She walks up to the counter QC is tending to, greeting her, “Uh, hey...”
QC perks up, having just been daydreaming the past few minutes due to a lack of things to do, “Oh, well if it isn’t the two lovebirds! Shouldn’t you be in school right now?”
Susie blushes and groans, “Uuugh, come on... Don’t...” She shakes her head, “Alphys let us out. Noelle’s... not doin’ well. Just needed to take her somewhere to rest. Not really anywhere to go but here or the librarby.”
QC considers it for a bit, looking around to check if it looks like things might get busy, then turns her attention to Noelle resting in Susie’s arms, “... What’s wrong with her?”
Susie stares down at her, “Dunno, she just... isn’t talking. Or moving. Or anything. I’unno what to do.”
QC’s expression softens considerably. She lets out a deep breath, “Another one of those days, huh?”
“I guess.” Susie says. “Didn’t know she got like this. And... Look, we’re flat broke. But can we just... sit in a booth for a while?”
QC points at the booth nearest to the counter, the same one Susie and Kris sat in before, “Sure thing. Take that one over there, she can stay here ‘till she feels better.”
Susie nods, going over and setting Noelle down in as comfortable a position as she can manage, leaning against Susie’s shoulder. Kris joins them, sitting across the table but not looking up at either of them. Susie wraps her arm around Noelle’s side and whispers to her, “Hey, if you’re listening, just relax. Okay? I got you.”
That seems to stir something. Noelle reaches up with one hand, seemingly hesitant, and crosses Susie’s chest with it in a sort of weak hold, grasping onto her jacket. Her antlers bump up against the back of the booth as she tries to bury herself into Susie. Susie reaches over her with her other hand and holds her closely, offering, “... You want my jacket?”
But no response.
Susie kisses her forehead, the only thing she can really reach at this angle. Kris lays their head down, letting out a sigh as they also try to rest some. The three of them sit there, basking in the evening light for a few minutes in total silence, Susie glancing out the window as she grows just a bit restless. All she gets is a view of the wall of the neighboring Ice-e’s P”e”zza and the autumn trees.
About that time, QC shows back up at the table and slides a cup of hot chocolate with a straw in it towards Susie and Noelle. “Here, this should help.” she says.
Susie looks up at her, eyebrows raised, “W-Wait, but we don’t...”
“It’s complimentary.” QC says. She bends over and whispers, “Her and her sister used to come by in the winter and get hot chocolate together when she was feeling down. Thought it might help. Just let it cool down first!”
“Oh...” Susie murmurs as she looks down at the piping hot cup. “... Thanks. That... means a lot. I think.”
But she can’t help but spot Kris eyeballing the drink intently, and tells them, “Kris, no. That’s hers.”
Kris looks up at her glumly, “... Not that...”
“Then...” Susie only has to think about it for a second. “Oh. You were... Yeah. I get it.”
QC asks Kris as well, “You want one too, hun?” Kris nods as much as they can with their chin to the table. She leaves for a minute and comes back with another cup, “You two cheer up. Last thing we need in this town is more depression.” And she takes off to tend to the other customers, trusting that the three will be okay alone.
Kris finally sits up and starts blowing on their cup. Susie blows on Noelle’s in turn, until both of them are cool. When it is, she shakes her a bit and tries to sit her back in the seat, “Hey. Noelle. Look.” She picks up the cup, “Hot chocolate. You thirsty?”
Noelle’s eyes shift around, arm falling to the side, but she offers no response.
“Here, let me help...” Susie picks it up and gets the straw close to her mouth, “Open up. Come on. You’ll feel better.”
The straw has to poke her in the lips and cheek a few times before she starts reacting to it, trying to crack her mouth ajar to let it in. Takes a bit of effort, but Susie gets it. But she doesn’t hear any sipping or see the drink go down, so she reminds her, “Uh... You have to... suck. On it. Don’t tell me you forgot how to use a straw...” She pats Noelle’s shoulder with her fingers, and that seems to be enough to get her briefly back into reality. Noelle drinks it slowly. Very, very slowly, stopping sometimes and needing to be tapped again to continue. But she eventually stops completely.
Susie puts the drink down, “Done? Heh, you got like... half of it down. Feel any better?” She lifts a finger up to Noelle’s chin, to lift her head up a bit. Not for any particular reason, just to get her attention. She lets out a tiny noise, indiscernible in its purpose. Susie takes it as a yes; not much else she can do.
Looking down at Noelle, she notices that her lips are still dry, chapped. She leans down and puts their noses together, licking her lips for her, which slowly but surely evolves into a kiss. Noelle springs back to life for just a moment, to grab onto her and lean into it, letting her eyes shut for the time. It’s as if her body moves on its own. Normally, but automatically.
Then Susie separates, leaving Noelle to go catatonic again after burying herself back into an embrace. Susie holds her tightly, stroking her hair and trying to comb out the knots with her fingers. Scratching her head, near the base of her antlers, massaging it gently while rubbing her back and side. They go on for minutes. Those turn to 10. Then 20.
Eventually, the hot chocolate goes cool, and Susie asks her, “You... gonna finish your drink?”
She doesn’t get a response.
“Hey... Noelle?” She shakes her a bit, brushing the hair out of her eyes. And in a compulsion of concern and love, calls her a pet name with a whisper, “Elly?”
Noelle shivers, grasping onto Susie’s shirt like a vice, her breath quivering. She whimpers, making Susie suddenly tighten her hold. And that whimper quickly turns into sobbing as Noelle cries into her shoulder. Her voice carries through the entire diner, making a few people turn their heads to the three in curiosity. Susie doesn’t care, too busy rocking her back and forth and whispering, “Shhh... It’s alright. I’m right here. Just let it out.”
She does. Neither of them are quite sure how long she sobs for, but it feels like a handful of eternity. Enough time that Susie can memorize the sounds she makes, and perhaps even some words, however indecipherable they are. The rhythm of her breath is uneven, broken, gasping. She grabs and grabs for Susie, trying to hold her entire body in.
“Elly...” Susie repeats. Kris flinches and looks away, out the window. Noelle curls up into a fetal position, legs resting on Susie’s lap, and Susie cradles her to the best of her ability. She’s still crying. Susie closes her eyes, feeling them water up, “Dammit, you... You’re gonna make me start too...” She blinks briefly, but her other ear catches something else. She hears another, unfamiliar sniffle from across the table. She asks, “Kris, dude. Are you... ?”
“Shut up.” Kris mumbles through their own far quieter tears.
“Did I... fuck up? Did I say something wrong?” Susie asks, a look of desperation written on her face.
“No.” Kris immediately answers, voice still shaky. “Just...” They take one look at Noelle and regret it, stuffing their head back between their arms to rest it on the table.
Susie sighs, wiping her eyes, “Goddammit, you idiot. Get over here.” She pats the seat beside her.
Kris shakes their head, “No. I don’t...”
“I said get over here, dumbass.” Susie says more insistently.
Kris lifts their head up, wiping their own eyes with their sleeve, and walks over reluctantly. Sits down slowly. Leans next to Susie, but tries to avoid looking at Noelle.
Susie tells them, “Kris. I don’t know what’s up with you two, but... Whatever you two had back then, whatever made you two like this... I think maybe, you might need each other. I don’t know what happened. But she’s always talking about how good it was back then. It’s just... sad. To see it turn out like this. So please, help.”
“... Is that why you brought me?” they ask.
“Yeah.” Susie admits easily. “Heh... Man, I used to bully the crap out of you. And now I’m just a living security blanket... That’s so dumb. Just... I don’t care what’s up, I just know that I want everyone to be happy.”
Kris sighs defeatedly after considering her words for a minute, “... You’re so bad at this.” A small, teasing chuckle, followed by another sniffle.
Susie kicks their shoes, teasing them back, “Shut up. It’s better than what I used to be.”
Finally, they say it, after even more consideration, “It’s my fault.”
“... What?”
“All I do is hurt her. No matter what. I don’t even deserve to be friends with her. It’s just... better that way.”
Susie frowns, rolls her eyes, and tells them, “Kris, look at her.” Noelle is still crying, perhaps more softly, but still a total mess of a doe. “If I weren’t around, she’d still be like this. Right?”
Kris tries to look away, but Susie forces their gaze back on Noelle.
“And you’re gonna just... let that happen? That’s... That’s even worse than causing it in the first place.”
Susie pulls them in closer, trying to get the two as close as possible before Kris starts to resist, and she tells them, “I don’t care what you did, or what the deal is. She cares about you, and you care about her. It’s all over your damn face, so just... quit pretending. Alright?”
Susie holds out Noelle’s desperately grasping hand, leading it towards Kris. They hesitate at first, but Susie’s kicking tips them over the edge. They lean forward and finally stop holding back, “Dammit, when did you become such a sap... ?” They grab onto Noelle’s hand, which tightens around theirs, and curls up into the two of them just as Noelle is doing. They start to sob, not quite as much as Noelle, but infected by her melancholy.
Susie also starts to catch it, sniffling once, “Dunno... Maybe I was one all along, and just...” a chuckle, another sniffle, her face reddening “... didn’t know.” She shakes her head slowly, so as to not disturb Noelle, “Dammit, this is getting me... Ugh... Let’s just stop talking for a bit.”
Kris agrees silently. All three of them sit there, cuddled up in the booth as comfortably as they can manage, quietly sharing in a moment of vulnerability. Their quiet crying continues for minutes. And minutes turn to tens. Tens turn to an hour. One into two. Eventually, somewhere along the line, they all manage to calm down despite still clinging tightly to each other.
Noelle returns back to being a vacant, hollow shell of her former self, albeit with more movement than before. Enough to reach for her pocket and pull out her phone to fiddle with it. Slowly, that is. She doesn’t even really do anything with it, as far as Susie can observe. She just stares at it, maybe opens her notifications. There’s hundreds of unread ones. She scrolls absentmindedly through them, doesn’t tap any. Even a message from her mother, she just ignores before Susie can read it. She pulls up youtube and just... keeps looking at it. Scrolls, and scrolls, and scrolls, with no clear goal in mind.
Susie asks her, “Noelle... ? Can you talk now?”
No answer. She keeps scrolling.
“You uh... wanna see something? Specific?”
A gentle nudge from her head, what could be interpreted as a nod if you were generous.
“Okay, let me... Can I see it?” Susie very carefully lifts the phone from her hand, and she doesn’t seem to react at all to it besides her eyes following the screen. Susie starts to scroll as well, trying to find something that isn’t too disruptive. Unfortunately, Susie has no idea how phones work, so she ends up having to ask Kris, “Hey, could you uh, help?”
Kris takes the phone next, then does some tech wizardry Susie can’t decipher the purpose of. They hand Susie a pair of earbuds and tell her to put them in Noelle’s ears.
“Alright, but don’t prank her or I’ll kick your skinny ass.” Susie warns.
No indication of if they listened to that or not, but Susie does as she’s asked. Noelle doesn’t react much to that either, besides moving her head around to cooperate. Kris puts on something. A video of piano music, which only has maybe 500 views on it. They set the phone on the table and just let it play.
The effect is almost immediate. As soon as the notes hit, Noelle’s body starts to visibly relax. She closes her eyes and grabs onto Susie’s jacket again, rubbing her cheek against Susie’s shoulder. She sighs, and her previously rapid and shaky breathing evens out into a calm tempo. And as Susie goes to start rubbing her arm, she actually smiles for the first time today.
Kris keeps the music going, picking one video after another, for another half hour. At one point, Noelle and them end up holding hands again, with Kris gently rubbing the back of hers with their thumb. She finally looks content. Susie rubs her chin up against Noelle’s head, resting it on top of her, and can just barely hear the music from that close.
They linger like that for yet longer, no longer melancholic but now relaxed, and perhaps even joyful. And eventually, something stirs. Noelle opens her eyes, no longer quite as empty as they once were, and tries to sit up. Her legs spread and stretch beneath the table, and Susie gives her a wide breadth to do so. She seems to be able to at least hold herself up, taking a relatively normal posture at first before slouching over and holding herself up with her arms, holding both knees. She looks down, straight down at the table, and breathes out deeply.
Susie reaches over to her, caressing her back. She knows Noelle can’t hear her, so she tries to communicate with touch: Just a little tap on the back before putting her hand on her shoulder.
Noelle reaches up and takes the earbuds out on her own. Susie starts to smile, “Uh, hey... You okay?”
Noelle doesn’t say anything at first. But then she shakes her head, violently as she did before, and looks up. Then out the window. Finally, she reaches for Susie’s hand and places her own over it, turning to her, “... I... Um...”
Susie scoots closer to her, “Take your time.”
Noelle nods. “Where...” she speaks slowly “Sorry... where am I? What... time is it?”
“The diner.” Susie answers promptly. “Don’t worry about it.”
Noelle nods again, then sees the now cold chocolate sitting on the table, half empty. She stares at it for a time.
“I uh, saved it for ya.” Susie says. “Just in case you wanted to finish it. QC said it was kinda important to ya, or whatever.”
Noelle smiles at that, though her expression is still weak. “Yeah...” she reaches for it, grabs it, and slowly brings it up to drink. Finishes it in one go. She scoffs, though she meant to laugh, “It’s cold...”
For whatever reason, that makes her start to tear up again. Susie very quickly rushes to her side and holds her. Noelle tells her, “No, it’s... It’s okay. I’m okay. Just having a... bad day.”
“I know...” Susie whispers.
Noelle looks back up at her, “... But I think you made it good.”
Susie backs up for a moment, rubbing the back of her head, “Oh, that’s... Uh...” And now she’s the one starting to tear up, her voice getting shaky, “Wow. Damn, why’s that hitting so hard? Heh...” She tries to laugh, but she’s sniffling again, and her cheeks are burning up. “It’s no problem, I mean... I just did what I needed to, so...”
“Susie.” Noelle curls back up into her lap, “I love you.”
Susie stops stammering out words, to reply, “... I love you too, Elly.”
Noelle smiles sweetly, nuzzling into Susie’s chest, “Haven’t heard that name in a long time...”
“Yeah?” Susie hugs her.
“Yeah. Everyone used to call me that. Kris, Asriel, and...” she trails off at first, but eventually manages to finish “... and Dess.”
Susie at least vaguely remembers this enough to understand the gravity of her words. She tights up the hug, “Sorry. Should I not... ?”
“No.” Noelle stops her “No, you can... keep calling me that. It’s... nice, in a way. It’s like everyone’s still here.”
Susie looks down at her solemnly, “Alright. I’m just glad you’re... back to normal, I guess.”
“Normal?” Noelle chuckles “No... I’m happy. For once.”
Susie sighs. The ‘For once’ gets to her more than she wants, making her choke up, “Goddammit, don’t make me cry again...”
“It’s true.” Noelle tells her. “Nobody’s ever... ever helped me with this before. I usually just, phase out and then the whole day disappears.”
Susie’s hug tightens even more.
“So thank you. You really just... made my entire day. Literally!” At last, she lets out a genuine giggle. The sound of it is music to Susie’s ears, making her heart flutter with a certain magnanimous flame that only makes her want to hold on closer and never let go.
Of course, she must let go eventually. Noelle gently pushes her away to get some space and stretch out again now that her full senses are back. But she makes sure to say something so it doesn’t feel cold, “Susie, is there... anything I can do to repay you? Anything you want, just say it.”
Susie gestures her hands side to side, shaking her head, “What? No, no! It’s nothin’, I just...”
“I want to do something for you.” Noelle insists.
“It’s fine, Noelle. You don’t have to waste your money on me, I just...”
Kris interrupts, leaning against the table with their elbow and resting their head in their hand, “Dinner.”
Noelle then notices, “Oh, right. Kris.” She smiles, flustered from embarrassment, “Um... thank you too. You...”
“Dinner.” Kris repeats, expression unreadably neutral.
Noelle just giggles, “Okay, okay! I’ll get us dinner. Anything you want.”
“Anything?” Kris asks neutrally.
“Don’t make me regret saying that, Kris!” Noelle laughs again. Susie smiles at her, too, her own body finally relaxing after the intense emotional session she just went through. Just that laugh alone is enough to soothe her nerves and make her forget that she thought it would be a life or death situation.
Kris returns to the other side of the booth after giving Noelle her phone back, and her giving Kris their earbuds back. They all three take menus out of their stand and start gazing through, trying to figure out what to ask for. Susie, who’s never seen so many options before, gets easily overwhelmed. But Kris seems to know exactly what they want, and Noelle closes hers very early.
Then, seeing that the three have finally gotten themselves together, QC comes over to check on them, “Well look who’s doin’ better! Noelle, how are you doing?”
“Better.” she answers fondly, looking right at Susie, “Thanks, QC.”
“I’m guessin’ y’all are hungry now?” QC asks. “Been sittin’ here for hours.”
Noelle nods, “Just the usual for me. And, um... Susie?”
Susie looks down at her menu, “Uhhhhhhhhhh...”
Kris however is ready and very loudly proclaims in an exaggerated tone, “TWO NUMBER 9S, A NUMBER 9 LARGE, A NUMBER 6 WITH EXTRA DIP, A NUMBER 7—”
Noelle shouts, giggling, “KRIS! Be serious!”
They both chuckle at each other, but then Kris adds, “Susie wants 30 hamburgers.” completely straight-faced.
Noelle actually snorts this time, “K-Kris! Stop! She... Faha...! Can’t even eat that many! Come on!”
“Uhhh...” Susie is about to say something.
“... Right?” Noelle looks right at her.
“I don’t think I’ve eaten in a day or two...” Susie says, looking away at the floor and scratching the back of her head.
Immediately, everyone at the table goes from jolly to severely concerned. Noelle puts her hand to her mouth, “O-Oh my gosh... Susie, that’s...” She looks back and forth between her and QC before saying, “Um, just get her like, three. A plenty of fries! And a vanilla milkshake!” Susie just nods along with it, not wanting to impose.
Kris decides to stop joking around for once and order normally, choosing to only pig out on dessert with a few slices of apple pie and three glasses of chocolate milk. After QC leaves, Noelle can’t help but comment, “... Three glasses, Kris? I guess that explains where all our chocolate syrup went...”
“Yeah, I drank it.” they admit.
“I noticed.” Noelle points out obviously.
While they wait, Susie speaks up, “So, you bounced back pretty quick, huh?”
Noelle nods, “Thanks to you.”
Susie acknowledges it, “Yeah, it’s just... You’re not like, just pretending to be okay, right?”
“No, I’m... I mean...” Noelle hesitates for a moment. “It’s not like it just goes away like that, but it’s as good as it gets right now. I can handle it.”
“I don’t...” Susie looks downcast “I don’t like that. It’s not right.”
“I know, Susie.” Noelle reaches over and holds her hand, “It’s just something that happens. I don’t think there’s a way to fix it.”
Susie sighs, taking Noelle in closer and hugging her, more for her own conscience than anything else, though Noelle’s comfort is a very close second. But she would never admit that, even to herself. Nonetheless, her curiosity ends up bugging her, and figures they should talk while they wait: “So, what’s it like, anyways? You were just kinda... absent. The whole time. Just... staring off into space and not responding to anything. Doing weird crap.”
Noelle nuzzles into her and starts to explain as best she can, “It’s like... Looking at your own life through a piece of glass. Like your soul separates from your body, and you can’t control yourself anymore. It’s like you’re a video game character and someone is controlling your body for you, and all you can do is watch. And it hurts. A lot. But not the body kind of pain, more like... the brain kind.”
“Like a headache?” Susie guesses.
“More like... your soul. It’s like it hurts your soul.”
“Oh...” Susie’s heart sinks, and her voice shakes.
“Yeah... It’s like going on full autopilot, or just blacking out. The whole day turns into a blur, and I can’t even remember anything that happened. And sometimes, I snap back a little. Someone starts yelling at me, and I just feel... Like, the world will end if I don’t move and get away from it. And then it’s back to nothing. It’s like when you zone out and start daydreaming, but worse. Because you don’t really think of anything. Your time just... disappears. Sometimes I don’t even feel like myself afterwards. And other times, I just... don’t want to be myself. Sometimes the routine of going day to day just gets so bad that I...”
Noelle pauses for a moment, considering her next words carefully by the looks of it. “That I just don’t want to be awake anymore.”
A wave of sheer dread and anxiety wells up inside of Susie so powerfully that it compels her to lunge forward and suddenly wrap Noelle up in a huge, all-encompassing, and tight bear hug. Noelle exclaims, “S-Susie!? What’s wrong!? I...”
But as Susie starts to shake, gently cradling Noelle side to side, her breath hitching up and down, Noelle realizes just how bad that sounded, “Oh... Oh, geez, that... That got a lot heavier than I wanted it to. Sorry.”
“No.” Susie firmly tells her.
“No... ?”
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry.” Susie says, upset both by what she said and by the fact that she’s reacting so viscerally to it.
“Um... Okay...”
“I didn’t...” Susie chokes up again. “I didn’t know you were... Dammit... That’s fucked, Noelle!” She releases the hug just to grab both of Noelle’s shoulders and glare right at her with tears in her eyes, “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
“I... Didn’t want anyone to worry. It’s not like... Like anyone else has to deal with it. Right?”
Kris bangs their elbow on the table, their posture breaking almost instantly from some intangible pressure. They hide their face completely, but are clearly extremely uncomfortable. Both the girls take note of it, and the implication isn’t lost on either. They look at them, and then at each other. Susie brings Noelle back in and tells her, “Don’t you ever hurt yourself, got it? If it happens again, just... tell me. Okay? I know this damn town doesn’t have a therapist, but that doesn’t mean you just gotta do everything yourself, got it?”
Noelle nods into her bulky jacket, “Okay... I wasn’t going to hurt myself, I don’t think. I mean, I’ve thought about it, but...” That only gets her hugged harder. She grunts, “O-Okay! I get it! Too tight!”
Susie relents, letting her go when she’s assured that nothing bad will happen when she does. Then she turns to Kris, pointing at them, “And you. You better do the same damn thing, got it? I KNOW you got it rough, too, don’t pretend like everything’s fine, idiot.”
Kris lifts their head up, stops hiding it, to reveal the sullen look they’re giving her. But they smile, maybe at her words, maybe at her attitude. But they do. They chuckle, even. Instead of saying anything serious, they only comment, “... Cute.”
Susie slams her fist on the table, trying not to laugh through the rogue tears but failing miserably, “D-Dammit, Kris, I’m not... Not cute!”
Noelle can’t help but giggle sweetly, “Awww, Susie! Gosh, you’re so nice it makes me wanna cry!”
Susie wraps her arm around Noelle with a smirk, “Heh. Nah. We got enough damn cryin’ for today. Let’s just relax before the sun goes down.”
Finally, they’re all smiling at each other. Noelle agrees, “That sounds nice. I just...” Then she realizes that she was supposed to be at school today and almost panics, grabbing Susie by the collar, “W-Wait! Susie! School! It’s a weekday!”
Susie pushes her back into her seat, “Whoa, calm down. Relax, I got it handled.”
“Handled?”
“Yeah. I kinda just... told Ms. Alphys to suck it, and ran out with you and Kris. She didn’t seem to mind.”
Noelle shakes her head in confusion, then playfully pushes back with a grin, despite looking at least mildly upset, “Susie! That’s not handling it, that’s... Oh cheezus, there goes my perfect attendance. Mom’s gonna be pissed.”
Susie shakes Noelle’s shoulder, “Hey. It’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. If they wanna punish someone, they can punish me.”
Noelle shakes her head, “No, no, I can’t... Just let me. I don’t want you to get expelled...”
That’s when Susie remembers she’s on her last warning with the school, though it hardly affects her, “Oh. Right. Crap. Uh, I guess it would be pretty bad if I got... Yeah.”
Noelle nods, “Yeah...” And once she’s resettled, she asks, “How long was I even out for?”
“Like, all day until now?” Susie guesses.
Noelle sighs with disappointment. “Probably forgot my keys again too...” she laments.
Then Kris chimes in, “You can stay with mom. She... misses you anyway.”
“Right...” Noelle looks away longingly “Aunt Toriel... Okay. I guess we might be having a sleepover, then!”
Nobody is comfortable with that implication, but they try to smile at her enthusiasm anyways, especially given how bad things were earlier. They spend the rest of their waiting time messing with their phones and showing each other dumb videos until QC comes back. Just before she does, Susie asks, “Hey, what the hell’s your ‘usual’ anyways?” only to be promptly answered by the food.
“Four hamburgers, fries, and a shake for Susie... Three slices of apple pie and three glasses of milk for Kris... and for missus Noelle, a Caesar Salad with romane, extra croutons and cherry tomatoes, and special ranch dressing. Enjoy yourselves, now! And don’t make a mess!” QC heads back to the counter.
Susie turns to the salad in question, “...’Special’ ranch?”
Noelle giggles, “Oh, yeah! I was always reaaaaally picky about it! So one day, she just started keeping a batch of my favorite homemade ranch around just for when I come by. It’s a little extra, but it’s worth it.”
“What, ‘cause you won’t eat it if it’s not?” Susie teases.
Noelle actually looks a bit annoyed at that one, “I’m not eating that mass-produced garbage.”
Susie cackles, “W-Wow! You, uh, you’re real passionate about it, huh?”
“I just know what I like.” Noelle says, oddly confidently. “Now eat up before it gets cold! Kris already beat you!”
Susie looks over to them, confused, “Wait, wh—” Kris has already eaten all of the pie and is currently chugging their second glass of milk like it’s an eating competition. “Whoa. Slow down, dude, you’re gonna choke.”
Kris does not listen. They chug the other glass of milk and immediately start bumming fries off of Susie. She hoards her fries away like a dragon and starts devouring the entire plate by the fistful before Kris can get any of it. Noelle just watches the two with a sense of mild amusement and childlike wonder while she peacefully eats the salad that neither of them are going to even attempt to take a bite of. Despite being told not to, Kris’ intervention does indeed cause them to make a mess of the table. QC doesn’t mind too much, though, and decides to just sweep the incident under the rug, so to speak, after Noelle happily pays for the meal.
Finally leaving the diner at around the time school ends, Susie picks the two up and carries them all the way to Kris’ house, not even bothering to check if Noelle remembered to get her house key. Toriel welcomes them in with open arms, and they enjoy the rest of their night in relative peace until Carol comes by to pick Noelle up.
But just before she leaves, Noelle decides to show off by reaching over and kissing Susie — of her own accord, this time. Knowing, of course, that her mother can’t do anything to stop it with the others around. She leaves with a flirty wave, and spends the rest of the night happily daydreaming in bed until she falls asleep.