Chapter Text
North of Huaguang Stone Forest, across the jagged stone peaks, a stone table sits at the edge of a great lake. There lie two mighty deities. Deities who bent mountains to their will, carved rivers, suffered great wrath during the Archon War. Stained by the great burden of grief, and by the blood of those who took their last breath at their feet-
At present, however, those two deities were sharing a quiet afternoon meal. The cool spring air found them at the peak of Mount Aocang. They sat underneath a weathered tree, sharing a plate of almond tofu and soup. Zhongli had ordered takeout from a restaurant down by the harbor, and had insisted that Xiao join him to eat.
Xiao had always thought that Zhongli's attempts at “bonding” with him were needles. Adepti don’t eat, but it was either a meal or joining him on a scenic walk, which Xiao knew all too well. Zhongli would ramble about the history and formation of whatever hill they passed by, while Xiao would slowly trail behind. Zhongli’s lengthy monologues and gravelly voice would soon blend in with the other sounds of nature, and he would rarely stop to take a breath. On a more serious note, Zhongli should not be hiking mountains anymore at his age, but he often craved to reminisce about his past, and would stumble upon old paths to do so.
Besides, he couldn’t simply tell his old man “no.” Xiao held Zhongli in higher regard than anyone else. Xiao vowed to live the rest of his life in devotion to him. This was the man that saved him from his cruel enslavement, and any peace he was able to savor today was in thanks to him. Sharing a meal was the least he could do to return the grand favor.
Xiao scarfed down his plate of almond tofu, barely taking a second to chew. He did not usually enjoy mortal food, but this was an exception. It gave him a sense of comfort. Like Zhongli, Xiao was often sentimental, though not as vocal about it. Eating the tofu gave him a sweet sensation, calming his thoughts, even for just a moment.
They both sit in silence as they enjoy their food. Zhongli occasionally picks up a piece of pork or bamboo and drops it on Xiao’s plate, even though Xiao does not eat either of those things. The quietness does not last long, however. Zhongli stops to speak, as per usual…
“Sitting here, it reminds me of the old days.” Zhongli gently stirs his chopsticks in his bowl of bamboo shoot soup, watching the broth ripple before it calms. Xiao catches a faint smile tug at the old man's lips as he loses himself to nostalgia. “The years pass as swiftly as water. Yet, some memories remain as stone.”
He traces his fingers against the rough stonecut table. It was once smooth and level, before wind and rain had eroded the surface. Though time had carved marks into the rock, it held firm. Scarred by war and senectitude, Zhongli, too, had stood unmoved despite the passage of time.
Zhongli sits himself on the south-east side of the round table, on the stool engraved by his former name: “Here sits Rex.”
Xiao, initially, hesitated to take a seat beside Zhongli, out of respect for the other Adepti, who once sat beside Zhongli centuries before. Xiao rarely pried into Zhongli’s life before the Archon War, partly because Zhongli would often enlighten him before he had the chance to inquire. Xiao wonders what Zhongli and the other deities may have conversed about years ago. Perhaps those days before the war were lighter, more carefree. A time where they could enjoy a fair meal in peace, isolated from mortals. A table no one, other than who it was intended for, could reach.
He chooses to sit by the south-west side, in an attempt to avoid sitting on Guizhong’s chair. Although Zhongli would not have minded, Xiao certainly did not want to burden him with dark memories of her passing. But Cloud Retainer, or Xianyun, was still breathing. She would’ve not minded either if he took a seat at her stool to eat a meal with his old man.
Xiao’s eyes begin to wander past the mountains. He can faintly see the ocean across the tall peaks and hills. Tiny boats and ships drift across the sea in the distant horizon. The distance makes it seem as if they are floating still. Dozens of them are scattered across the sea, fishing and carrying goods.
Maybe transporting visitors, too.
Xiao chews slowly as he thinks. He begins to disassociate as he continues to stare off into the blue, glittering ocean.
“Ah, isn’t Kazuha coming to visit today?” Zhongli asks in his low, sonorous tone.
Xiao blinks and loses his train of thought. As he and Zhongli grew closer over the past thousand years, he learned that Zhongli had the ability to know everything going on in his mind, no matter how hard he would try to hide it. Perhaps it was a skill that naturally comes with being an Archon. Either way, it would often catch Xiao off guard.
Xiao only gives a curt nod before continuing to chew his food, his mind still occupied. Kazuha. He had not seen his face in months.
Kazuha tainted Xiao’s mind practically every second of the day. It seemed like everyday was just a countdown of when he could see his face again. Aside from the occasional letters Kazuha sends overseas, which take a painfully long time to arrive, he had not spoken a word to him since he was last here.
There were days where the distance felt unbearable. Xiao would spend the few moments he had to himself to reread his letters, which were all stuffed away in a drawer in his room at Wangshu Inn (which he would never open in front of anyone). Xiao savored each sweet, swoopy letter Kazuha inked on paper. Telling him how much he misses him, how much he wants to hold him again, how much he wants to pepper his face with kisses-
Xiao’s face turns a little pink at the thought. Even though they had been in a relationship for six months, he still could not fathom the fact that someone could offer so much unconditional love and admiration to someone like himself: an unforgivable monster that is constantly in both physical and mental pain. He never believed he would be able to build a connection with another being, especially a mortal like Kazuha, who was always so gentle and kind. Xiao always feared hurting him, or that he would scare him away somehow, but that never happened. Loving Kazuha felt so natural. It took a long time for him to come to terms with the fact that he was a loveable person, and that he deserved every bit of affection, even if he would sometimes have to be reminded of the fact.
“Is everything going well between you too?”
Xiao's daydreams are interrupted once again. He is silently annoyed at Zhongli.
Xiao nods. He decides not to think of Kazuha for the time being. It wouldn’t be long before Zhongli would wake him from his thoughts again, but he still cannot get rid of his excitement, or the anticipation that had built up ever since Kazuha had sent him a letter saying he would be returning to Xiao today!
Xiao softly kicks his legs underneath the table, but he doesn’t notice himself doing it. Kazuha makes him act in a way that is so unlike himself, but he can’t help it.
“Six months, am I correct?” Zhongli asks. He is stirring his chopstick in his bowl again, playing with his food instead of eating it.
Xiao nods. He usually feels a bit awkward when talking about his relationship. In the beginning, Zhongli would constantly bother him, asking if he had held Kazuha’s hand yet, or if they kissed. It would embarrass him every time, and he would always snap at Zhongli to stop talking. Besides Zhongli, he had only told the traveler and Paimon. To cut Zhongli some slack, Paimon’s questions were much more invasive…
There are only a few pieces of tofu left on his plate. After his meal with Zhongli, he would head down to the harbor to wait for Kazuha to arrive. 6:00 sharp. He would be there.
Zhongli finally takes a bite out of the pork that has just been swirling around in his bowl this whole time. He chews slowly, almost methodically. Xiao can sense he is in deep thought.
“Xiao,” Zhongli clears his throat. “I would like to have a talk with you, if you will.”
Xiao takes another piece of tofu and stuffs it in his mouth. He looks up at Zhongli. Usually, having a “talk” meant having to hear life advice or a long lecture from him, but this talk seemed different. Zhongli looked a bit off, maybe even a little anxious.
“Hm?” Xiao is still chewing.
“Have you and Kazuha had sexual intercourse yet?”
Xiao nearly chokes on his food. His face grows hot. He quickly swallows and responds-
“Why would you ask me that!?” He yells. Maybe a bit too loudly. Those were the last words he was expecting to hear from Zhongli, especially during lunch.
In all honesty, he has never given it much thought. He was perfectly content with the pace his relationship was currently progressing. He didn’t need to worry about extra… affairs like that.
“You two have made a lot of progress in your relationship. I thought it might be beneficial to discuss this now.”
Why would he ever want to talk about this with Zhongli.
“Why?”
“Because I understand that this is a milestone for many couples. Sexual intercouse is a very common activity. I would simply like to check that you know what to expect. My intention is to help you be prepared.”
Xiao scoffs, “Zhongli, I know what sex is.”
It’s not completely a lie. Yes, he knows what sex is, but he doesn’t know exactly what it entails besides creating life. To be truthful, he doesn’t understand the logistics of it. He knows other romantic couples usually do it for pleasure or whatnot, but that’s about it. He also knows that it is supposed to be a private and inappropriate topic to discuss in public, especially with Zhongli.
Zhongli frowns at Xiao’s attitude. “I understand, but there is more to copulation than just the definition. It is a very intimate act, and there are various ways couples approach it. It is important to talk about safety precautions and possible infections and-”
“I know.” Xiao snapped. He didn’t mean to speak so bluntly, but he desperately wanted the conversation to be over. He prayed to the Archons that someone would make him stop (even though the Archon was right in front of him).
Zhongli stares at Xiao disapprovingly as he tries to discreetly continue eating. He sighs, “Alright.”
Xiao feels a little sorry for acting so brash towards Zhongli. He hopes that he will forgive his attitude. Xiao uses his chopsticks to poke at his tofu, watching the soft treat jiggle on his plate. Zhongli, of course, goes to open his mouth again.
“Xiao, I hope you know that I am always here if you have any questions. Please do not be too embarrassed to ask anything.”
Xiao looks up at Zhongli, who looks exceptionally sad. He feels a small pang of guilt in his heart, but only gives another short nod. Yes, he had questions. A lot. But he would rather sacrifice himself to the Gods than ask him. But Zhongli continues to pester Xiao.
“Have you and Kazuha been intimate in any way recently?”
Xiao’s face turns a brilliant shade of red.
“No!” He says defensively, as if being intimate was a bad thing. What was even defined as “intimate”? Xiao couldn’t think of anything more romantic to do with Kazuha other than hugging or kissing… Even that was too close for him. Whenever Kazuha would reach out to grab his hand, or tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, Xiao still found it hard to breathe or form a single coherent thought. Still. After six months of being together.
Anything more would be too much for him to handle.
Xiao began to think. Was he supposed to be doing more? He started becoming worried, wondering whether he and Kazuha were behind in their relationship, or if Kazuha was expecting more from him. Even worse, what if Kazuha didn’t want to do anything more with him?
Xiao hears Zhongli clear his throat again, catching his attention.
“Just in case, I will detail the acts associated with sexual intercourse so that you will know what to do if you and Kazuha decide to advance your relationship.”
Before Xiao can open his mouth and protest, Zhongli begins his inevitable speech.
“Sexual intercourse is a physical, and oftentimes emotional, activity driven by arousal. Typically, it is expected that both partners consent to copulate and communicate their needs properly, as there are different areas of the body that bring different types of pleasure and unique sensations. Most commonly, intercourse involves vaginal penetration by the penis-”
“Zhongli, stop!” Xiao yells, his face completely red. He can’t bear listening to Zhongli speak about such inappropriate things for a moment longer. Xiao cannot control his mind as it wanders to Kazuha. He pictures Kazuha’s figure underneath his thick clothes. He has a slim frame, a bit wider than Xiao’s. He definitely has some muscles underneath there. He’s a samurai, after all. Probably some biceps, or abs. Maybe his chest is firm, too.
Xiao’s imagination is very vivid. He blushes harder, his cheeks turning a pretty shade of pink at the thought of his boyfriend bare. He stops himself before he gets below Kazuha’s waist.
“If you have any questions, Xiao, I can always-”
“I don’t have any questions!” Xiao gets up from his seat. His plate almost tips over. He needs to leave immediately. “I have to go.”
Zhongli looks very upset as he watches Xiao getting ready to leave. He hadn’t even finished his meal yet.
Xiao takes a quick glance at Zhongli, and he already feels guilty again for his behavior. He promises himself that he will invite Zhongli to eat another day. He gives a nod of acknowledgment to the man as his way of saying goodbye, and turns to leave.