Work Text:
Hello everyone, this will he my other series I will be working, it will be another konosuba one so I hope you enjoy.
KO~NO~SU~B-
"Your dead...your a dead son of bitch, hastur, YOUR DEAD, YOUR DEAD YOU YELLOW BASTARD!!! ILL RIP YOU TO PIECES HASTUR, HAAAASTUUUUR!!!!"
"Your gonna pay for this!"
"I know you can hear me you bitch"
"YOUR DEAD"
Two years earlier
Kazuma pov
'Alright, you've probably heard this before, so I'll keep brief ok? Ready, good. The names Kazuma, Kazuma satou, and I'm a reincarnate brought here to defeat the demon king, how'd I die you ask? Well, when I was out buying a new game, I apparently hallucinated a car about to hit a girl and went into shock, from which the doctors ended up mixing up the blood types, killing me...(1)yeah not a very noble death to say the least'
*SNOOORE📢📢📢📢📢📢🚂🚂🚂📣*
'Your probably now wondering "Kazuma kazuma" what's that loud noise? Is it a tractor? Is it a train? No it's my divine relic, a useless goddess, CAUSE DAMN IT THIS ISN'T HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO GO! Where's my harem!? Where's my riches!? Where's my insane power ups!? Instead I only got a useless goddess that can't even defeat a toad, debt and a straw filled hair from sleeping in a stable...*sniff**sniff*this sucks.'
『
Would User: {0} like to accept position in system?
(Yes/No)
』
"...what? Hey hey hey, what the hell!?"
'Isn’t this way to convenient? I mean I know my luck is high but...to get a power up as soon as I ask for one is too convenient for my liking...'
"N-"
『
Failure to accept system will result in erasure of User
』
"I accept I accept! Fuck"
'It was gonna fucking kill me!?'
『
User {0} has accepted. Role given:
【ANIMAL WHISPERER】
』
"Animal whisperer?"
「【ANIMAL WHISPERER】role allows the user {0} to:
- Speak with all animals of the current planet the user is on
- Command animals tamed by user {0}
- 50% additional liking by all animals towards the user
」
"Ok, that explains some stuff..."
'But its still sketchy as fuck!...Although I could use this to my advantage since 50% is alot, although...'
"System, can I speak to you in my head?" 'I don't wanna look crazy!'
「User {0} is permitted to use system telepathically」
'Great, now, what qualifies as animal according to the system?'
「All species with a 30% lower intelligence than the user
」
'interesting... but also terrifying, wait! Could this work on deities!?'
「User does not have sufficient level to control deities
」
'Well there goes the ability to make aqua useful...'
*Sigh*
"Well" 'Might as well see what else it can do, open menu'
『 〔STATS〕〔SKILL SHOP〕〔USER UPGRADES〕 』
'Huh?'
'Hey what's the difference between User Upgrades and stats?'
「〔USER UPGRADES〕 contains role system specific upgrades as well as perks and abilities system related, while 〔STATS〕 show the user stats and physical, magical and mental attributes such as intelligence, dexterity and mana.
」
'Ok, show me my stats'
『
Kazuma satou
Race: human
Sex: none
Gender: male
Role:【ANIMAL WHISPERER】
Vitality: 87/90
Stamina: 78/90
Mana: 20/20
Strength:8
Dexterity: 10
Endurance: 6
Intelligence: 42 (2)
M.attack: 12
Defense: 4
Speed: 15
Luck: 777
Attack.speed: 17
Evasiveness: 68%
Awareness: 56
M.defense: 11
』
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NONE!?!?!?!"
"SHUT UP" a rather angry neighbor said.
"...sorry"
'*grumble* stupid system*grumble*'
*sigh*
'I'm gonna take a walk'
A little bit later
3rd pov
Kazuma would be walking down the street in a na attempt to calm himself down after seeing his rather unimpressive stats.
"*sigh* Ok, this is cool, all I have to do is just find a familiar to tame, but...where exactly am I gonna-" the brunette would be cut off by a certain sound.
"Meow(help)"
'?...Is today my lucky day or what?'
The emerald-eyed boy would approach the cat, observing it to be a rather dark marroon on the kupse of being black with pure yellow pupils and a crimson cross at the top of its forehead, and would see it stuck in between two buildings (like the cat from saiki k).
"Mrreow?(how did you get stuck there?)" The brunette would ask the cat.
"NYAAARGHR!?(YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME!?)" The feline would exclaim with shock.
"Meow(yeah)"
"Nyaaah, Meow meow(well, I fell asleep while flying and ended up here...)"
"Nya(I see)"
"..."
"Nyaaah(want me to help you?)"
"Meow(yes...)"
The boy would then gently pull the cat out freeing her before...
「New familiar gained!
Would User like to name it?
」
'Really? It was that easy? *sigh* Well...'
He would then pick the cat up and ask "What's your name?" to the feline.
"Meow(Chomsuke)"
"?"
"Nyah(I was named by a crimson demon)
'Great, that explains nothing'
"Nyaaah?(want me to help you find her?)"
"Meow(sure, why not?)"
She then flies onto my head perching there rather comfortably,before taking a nap on my head.
'Hey, system can you give me the stats on...Chomsuke'
『
Chomsuke satou
Race: unknown
Sex: female
Vitality: 36/40
Stamina: 10/20
Mana: 50/74
Strength:6
Dexterity: 5
Endurance: 21
Intelligence: 26
M.attack: 26
Defense: 5
Speed: 46
Luck: 47
Attack.speed: 58
Evasiveness: 68%
Awareness: 63
M.defense: 13
Skills:
Fireball: A ball of flame made from mana that damages 0.5 per M.attack cost: 2M
Scratch: Mana is imbued into claws to strike for 1 per attack and 0.5 per M.attack cost: 2M
Flight: The innate ability to fly using wings.
Bite: Imbueing mana into the sharp fangs, they attack for 2 per attack and 1 per M.attack cost:3M
』
"Well the stats seem interesting eno-"
"Hold it right there!"
The brunette would be stopped by the sudden appearance of a small girl in a red dress and red hat, who appeared to also have brown hair and red eyes.
"What are you doing? with my familiar!"
'Is that?'
"A JOJO POSE!??!"