Work Text:
"Annie... are you sure this is necessary?" Britta asked.
"Look, I want this baby to feel welcome no matter what his or her ethnicity ends up being, so yes, it is," Annie said.
Britta blew out a breath of exasperation. "Why did you make me come along on this trip?"
"Because you're one of the most culturally sensitive people I know, and I don't want to make any offensive mistakes?"
"I think this entire thing is an offensive mistake, Annie," Britta muttered.
"Are you going to help me or not?"
"Fine. If only so that this doesn't end up being more of a clusterfuck than it's already going to be."
Leaving Annie behind her, mouth open, Britta strode on through the mall.
*~*
Eight stores later, Britta had about had it. "I'm pretty sure Shirley would prefer a traditional baby shower, you know. Balloons, pastel cake, those hideous party games, all that disgusting stuff."
"There are going to be balloons! Red and white ones for Chang and red, green, and black ones for Andre!" Annie waved the packages around like a trophy.
"You're missing the point."
"This isn't a traditional situation. Why should there be a traditional baby shower? I think this calls for something... fresh! Different!"
"Annie, do you realize how that sounds?"
"What do you mean?"
"Plenty of people have non-traditional situations these days. I'm not sure if you're stuck in the 1950s or what, but you have to realize that Shirley is hardly the only person to ever have a weird parenting situation, and yet the baby shower industrial complex is doing pretty well for itself. Besides, don't you think this is kinda... racist?"
"What?! It is not racist to acknowledge different cultures!"
"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you."
"Spoilsport."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm trying to do something special for our friend and you're just raining on the parade. As usual. I never should have asked you to help."
"Well, forgive me for trying to help you see some reason." Britta turned around and left, not stopping to look back. Annie's face crumpled.
*~*
Annie stood alone in the middle of the study room, ruins of the shower strewn around her. She sighed heavily, trying not to cry. "Well, that couldn't have gone worse," she mumbled to herself.
"Buck up, buttercup. Sure could have. At least there wasn't any ethnic cleansing or anything," Britta said sarcastically from behind her.
"Oh, shut up. I bet you loved this."
"Loved what? Your sincere effort crumbling around you? Annie, I'm not a monster."
"Well, what am I supposed to do about it now? Shirley's offended, Andre's offended, I think everyone with half a brain is offended (so Chang is probably fine, let's face it)... god, I really screwed this up. I should have listened to you in the first place."
"It's not too late, you know."
Annie sniffled. "How? How is it not too late?"
"Up for another mall trip?"
*~*
This time around, Annie let Britta lead her around the mall. Britta was surprisingly good at picking out things--game supplies, cute balloons, onesies for decorating, even cake ordering.
"Britta, where did you learn to do this? This doesn't exactly seem like it should be your specialty."
"Well, I mean, the baby shower industrial complex pretty much disgusts me, but you learn to adapt for your friends, you know? I did a little bit of internet research and I guess I'm just also sort of okay at it. My mom was an event planner, you know."
"Really?"
"Yep. Maybe that's why I rebelled. I don't know. Whatever."
"Now we just need to get everyone to show up to this and hopefully get Andre to take the kids out for the afternoon."
"Leave it to me. I have a few favors to call in. Besides, guilt trip! It's Shirley! How can they not show up? It's not like we're throwing a baby shower for Pierce."
"Ew! Britta, why did you put that mental image in my head?"
"Because it's fun to see you make that face, Edison."
*~*
The doorbell rang and Shirley peeked cautiously out, her belly bumping against the doorframe. "Helloooo?"
"Troy and Abed with a caaaake!" the two grinned, holding out a cake that read, "Happy baby shower!"
"And balloons!" Annie chimed in, pink and yellow and blue balloons threatening to blow the petite woman away.
"And party games!" Britta said, as perkily as she could muster, an armload of bags weighing her down.
Andre snuck up behind them. "And I'll be taking the kids to McDonald's for a while, so you guys can have your fun... traditionally."
"Awwwwwwwww!" Shirley cooed. "How nice!"
And as they settled into a group hug, Britta caught Annie's eye and winked. Annie mouthed a "thank you" as the hug disbanded and everyone rushed into the family room, where Annie had already started setting up balloons.
"I call that gross game where you have to guess the candy bars in the diapers!" Troy said.
"Ew, Troy!" Annie said.
"But I love that game!" Troy said.
"How do you even know about that game?" Jeff asked. And Troy was off and running about a special episode of Inspector Spacetime where there were babies and space aliens trying to kidnap the babies and no one could really keep up with the plot except Abed who kept chiming in.
"Okay!" Annie clapped her hands loudly. "I say we have cake first, because that's the best part, and then we play some games! Shirley, what do you say? This is your shower."
"Whatever you guys want. I am so blessed to have friends like you." Shirley wiped tears from her eyes.
Annie cut into the cake. "I did it half and half, but a little different this time--half of it is pink and half of it is blue!"
"Awwwwwwwww!" Shirley cooed, wiping more tears away.
And so this afternoon went very differently from the last time Annie had tried to plan a baby shower. Maybe next time... she'd let Britta do it. On second thought, maybe not. After all, Britta surely couldn't put a big event together alone on short notice, could she...?