Chapter Text
‘Fifth Fleet, this is SSV-Normandy, come in.’
Static filled the cockpit as Joker awaited for any kind of response.
‘Fifth Fleet, this is SSV-Normandy, come in. We’re stranded in an unknown planet after struck by an unidentified beam. Over?’
Kaidan could only sigh in frustration as another bout of static was the only response they received.
‘Damn it!’
Joker was obviously feeling the same way. Not that Kaidan was surprised, truth be told. The Normandy had been stuck in the forests of the strange, but at least friendly, planet for the last three days, which wouldn’t be so bad if they at least knew what happened to the rest of the galaxy. Had the Reapers been destroyed? Had the Reapers destroyed the rest of the fleet and were now on their way to harvesting every species in the galaxy, unchallenged? And Shepard? What had happened to him? Was he alive? Where was he?
So many questions were left unanswered, and all Kaidan could do was pace up and down, waiting. Joker didn’t even have that kind of luxury… He had to remain seated, keeping all hailing frequencies open in the hopes that someone, anyone, would respond.
‘Fifth Fleet, this is SSV-Normandy, come in.’
The door to the cockpit swooshed open and Garrus walked in.
‘Any luck?’ he asked.
‘No,’ Kaidan replied. ‘How are the others holding up?’
‘About as well as you’d expect,’ the turian replied with a shrug. ‘Tali is helping Adams and the others down with the repairs. Cortez is doing his own repairs on the Kodiak. Liara is checking on provisions; though let’s hope we’ll be off this planet before we start to really worry whether there is enough food to go around or not. EDI is trying to lighten the mood with some pretty bad jokes. And I believe Vega is dealing with all this tension by trying to break his personal pull-ups record.’
‘And you?’ Kaidan asked.
‘Honestly? I’ll feel better once we’re off this planet before something nasty comes along and tries to eat us. With our kind of record, I can see it happening,’ Garrus deadpanned before cocking his head. ‘What about you? Should you even be here, injuries still fresh and all?’
‘I’m fine,’ Kaidan replied stubbornly.
‘Could have fooled me,’ the turian replied, regarding him closely. ‘Hovering over Joker isn’t going to make a difference.’
‘We’ve lost contact with the rest of the Fifth Fleet. There are millions of ships out there, probably fighting the Reapers left and right as we speak, and we’re stuck here,’ the spectre pointed out.
‘And I hate it as much as you do, but we’ll have to make do. If the Reapers are still out there and decide to drop in, we need to be ready.’
‘Ready to die, Garrus?’
‘Ready to die fighting,’ Garrus said, and then took a step closer to Kaidan. ‘Go. Take some rest. And if there’s news from that common acquaintance of ours, I’ll let you know.’
Kaidan didn’t move for several moments, pondering. Deep down, he knew Garrus was right, that his injuries were far from healed - medigel could only work that fast - and he couldn’t even remember the last time he ate or slept. What good would do anyone if he weren’t at his best, especially now? He had to stay strong, not only for the rest of the team, but for Shepard as well. Especially for Shepard.
Was he safe? Was he all right? He had lived through this uncertainty when his father went MIA. And now he had to relive it.
‘Kaidan… come on,’ Garrus said, softening his tone, probably hoping to coax Kaidan to take his advice.
‘Fifth Fleet, this is SSV-Normandy, come in--' Joker started again.
Static filled the air, making everyone in the cockpit practically jump.
‘Normandy, this is…. ckett… speaking. … your … tion?’
‘Oh, shit! I’m glad to hear your voice, sir!’ Joker exclaimed. ‘We’re stranded in an unknown planet, sending you our signal as we speak!’
‘Roger… ndy…. Confirmation of your… gnal. You’re coming home. Over.’
‘Admiral Hackett, what about the Reapers?” Kaidan said then, hurrying to Joker’s side.
‘The Crucible worked… war’s over, Major Alenko.’
‘And Shepard?’
‘…Shepard’s KIA. Repeat. Shepard’s KIA.’
Kaidan froze, feeling his mouth dry as a single thought penetrated his mind. He had lost him a second time…
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Eternal. Infinite. Immortal.
The man I once was knew these words, but only now do I fully understand them. And only now do I understand the full extent of his sacrifice. Through his death, I was created and my thoughts are freed. The man I once was guides me, gives me reason and direction - just as he gave direction to the people who had followed him and helped him achieve his purpose: to give the many a chance for a future. A future with limitless possibilities. A future that now I can create. And throughout it all, I’ll never forget the ones who sacrificed themselves for the sake of that future, just like he had. Nor will I forget those who live on, those who carry the memory of the man he once was.
…Nor can I forget the promise the man I once was made to the people that meant most to him.
‘When this is over, I’m going to be waiting for you. You’d better show up.’
‘We’ll meet and compare notches when this is over.’
‘This isn’t goodbye.’
‘No one’s dying. There’s no Shepard without Vakarian.’
So many more of them, spoken in a desire to give hope in a time of despair.
I know everything. I am everything. And now it’s time I give hope again. It’s time I keep those promises, because I can. That’s what the man who I once was would want.